400 words column

[Diane Amberg]

I'm interested in how many women won.

[larryJ]

By Steve Lambert

FATHER'S DAY HONORS DADS, CELEBRATES KIDS.

The first Father's Day was in honor of a single parent, a Civil War veteran whose wife died during childbirth.

By himself, William Smart raised the baby and his five other children, embodying the notion that good fathers don't come from a single mold.

The Ward Cleavers and Cliff Huxtables we grew up watching were composites -- prefab creations for a fictional world.  Real dads have to navigate their real lives in varied ways.

Some are better at it, to be sure, and as much as we think we've evolved, ours is a culture that enables fathers who choose to escape any and all responsibility for parenting their children.  Spend a day in family court, and you'll see what I mean.  For every mom who abandons her kids, there are at least three other guys who've done the same thing.

Which, to a degree, makes it harder on good men to prove that they're up to the challenge.

Rightly or wrongly, no one thinks twice about a single mom balancing work and child rearing; put a father in that position, and we assume the worst -- and that short of divine intervention, the poor guy hasn't a chance.

Not that either has it easy.  It wasn't until I became a solo act in raising my two girls that I could more fully appreciate what single mothers, sty-at-home moms and mommies generally have faced for generations.

An yet, knowing that, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.  I'm now a father of five, and each and every one of them has enriched my life in ways I can't begin to describe.

Do they have their moments?  Can they drive you crazy?  Oh, the stories my wife and I could tell.

But they also have an uncanny way to turning your worst days into some of your best, with a twinkle in their eyes and a soft "I love you" that comes straight from their amazing little hearts.

As they grow, so do we as parents guiding them through challenges and heartbreak, opportunities and discovery.

No man with an ounce of soul can resist any of this, which is why there are more good dads than bad, and far more great ones than the deadbeats we too often hear about.

It's those good and great fathers we celebrate today, and it's their kids we celebrate even more -- for giving us the opportunity to raise them, and love them.

_________________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Steve Lambert's take on being an American--------------

REMEMBER WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE AN AMERICAN

By Steve Lambert

Wisdom and courage.

Foresight and sacrifice.

Words you won't find among the 1,337 in the Declaration of Independence, but which are at the heart of this most heartfelt of documents.

"WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT, THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, THAT THEY ARE ENDOWED BY THEIR CREATOR WITH CERTAIN UNALIENABLE RIGHTS, THAT AMONG THESE ARE LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS."

It's an amazing passage, when you think about it -- as relevant today as it was 234 years ago.  And yet, it's almost impossible to fully appreciate the wisdom and courage behind it -- the foresight and sacrifice that spurred and sustained our battle for independence.

There were no red states and blue states back then -- just 13 colonies united in their resolve to become free and independent and, in their words, to "mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor."

The Civil War threatened that bond, and certainly we've had our ups and downs since as statesmanship has given way to politics, altruism to self-interest.

But we carry on, as the strongest country in the world still capable of leading by example.

The fact that we continue to debate immigration control -- as volatile and polarizing as that discussion often can be -- is but a tiny example of how brilliant our forefathers were in understanding that the world is far grayer that it is black and white.

America, as it often does, will lead the world out of global recession.

America, as it always has, will stand toe to toe with those who pose a danger to global security.

Our tactics don't always work -- and we can and must criticize ourselves when we fall short -- but we can't allow this to sidetrack us spiritually.

We are a good people.

Our republic is built on a strong foundation.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are as important to the left as they are to the right.

On this Fourth of July, between the family gatherings and barbecues and fireworks shows, take time to reacquaint yourself with the Declaration of Independence.

Say a prayer for the men and women who have died to preserve and safeguard the wisdom and courage behind those 1,337 words.

Remember what is means to be an American.

I guarantee you will fell good about it.

________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

From Steve Lambert


U.S. HAS NO JOBS PROGRAM, JUST ZONED-OUT LAWMAKERS

Some years back, my son and I grabbed a bite at the ESPN Zone in Times Square.  I had an overpriced beer.  He had an overpriced burger.  We took in basketball highlights on the thousand or two big screen TVs on the wall, and made fun of Knicks fans.

It was a uniquely American father-and-son experience, devoid of real world depth but rich in male bonding.

So when Disney -- which owns ESPN and its spin-offs -- announced recently that it was closing five of it seven Zone restaurants across the U.S., I couldn't decide if it was the end of an era or a sign of the times.

Was this simply Planet Hollywood II --- an ego-driven business venture with eyes bigger than its stomach?  Or is it, as Disney says, another casualty of a soft economy?

Probably somewhere in the middle, which is why the only buzz you'll hear in Washington about all this is who gets the memorabilia from the Zone's shuttered D.C. franchise.  Even the conservatives are having a hard time mustering up much ado about the restaurants demise, though a few bloggers have tried  --  of course, pinning the blame on the Obama administration's failed economic policies.

They're right, to a degree, and so are the liberals who point out that their party inherited a mess.

And yet if either side really had its fingers on the pulse, doncha think we'd have a national jobs program by now?

Forget Obama's criss-crossing the country this past week to declare was on unemployment.  Funny how mid-term elections and eroding popularity numbers will force one into action.

Again, not that the Republicans have done any better, allowing themselves to get sucked into a year-long debate on health-care reform as the economy sputtered and the federal deficit grew.

Now, in large part because of our mounting debt, we don't have the tax flexibility we could have to stimulate job growth.

If the NBA can have a salary cap (and still manage to overpay for stuff), why can't the federal government?

Sadly, Knicks fans won't be able to debate that over overpriced beers and burgers at their ESPN Zone.

Perhaps we can invite them out our way.  Turns out, the two LA area restaurants have been spared the corporate butcher knife.

And if Knicks and Lakers fans can sit elbow to elbow, maybe there's hope for Democrats and Republicans.

_________________________________________________________

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Here are more that are expected to disappear or be bought out by the end of 2011. Readers Digest, Kia Motors, Dollar Thrifty. Zales Blockbuster, T-Mobile, B P plc, Radio Shack, Merrill Lynch, Moodys...... A new list from 24/7 Wall Street.

[larryJ]

From Steve Lambert----

VOTERS WAS RESULTS, NOT AGENDAS OR TALK

Barack Obama sold America on hope.

Selling his economics has proved to be a far more formidable challenge, one that appears to have him and his party heading for a crash and burn not quite halfway into his first  -- and possibly only -- term.

Which is a warning to Republicans as the begin drafting their mid-term victory speeches:  Give us hope, but show us the money.

If economics are a party strong suit, as the GOP has long maintained, that shouldn't be a problem.

But the disconnect between Washington and the world we live in has never been greater, and the patience of voters has never been thinner.

They're tired of talk.  They're tired of agendas.  They want results.

And they want government to stop ignoring them, which arguably has been Obama's biggest failing as president.  The man flat-out doesn't listen, and admits as much in dismissing his plummeting poll numbers.

But if Republicans think they'll be able to ride that to victory beyond this November, they've got a surprise coming.  Few presidents came into office with the momentum and mandate Obama had 18 months ago, but despite his recent efforts to validate economic progress since then, Americans don't see it.

Ask Ken Rausch, who is about to close his Edward's Steakhouse in El Monte, a restaurant his family has owned since 1946.

"it's frustrating to hear politicians in D.C. saying things are getting better," he told our Rebecca Kimitch this past week.  "They are not.  Things are getting worse."

So much for hope.  Or the power of persuasion.

It was Obama, after all, who spent the first year of his presidency pulling out all stops to promote health care reform as a modern-day equivalent of the civil rights  movement.  And yet, according to a new Pew Research poll, only 35 percent of Americans approve off the legislation.  In the meantime, according to a CBS News poll, 54 percent of Americans disapprove of his handling of the economy.

How the Republicans plan to use that information to effect a robust economic turnaround is unclear.  So far, the GOP and the tea party have been heavy on criticism, light on solutions  --  which might get you elected, but won't keep you around very long.

Not in today's environment, where actions speak louder than words, and jobs mean more than hope.

__________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

From Steve Lambert

NORMAL FAMILIES COME IN ALL SHAPES, SIZES.

A "normal" family.  What does that mean, anyway? 

"Normal."

Can a blended family be normal?  Is a single-parent household normal?  Is a traditional two-parent household normal anymore?

As parents, we tend to dwell on that.  We want our kids to feel normal, even if the environment they're in is anything but.

And that's just the point.  In these times, every situation is as normal, or abnormal, as the next -- a point I found myself struggling to make when Shirlee Smith, a parenting columnist, invited me on her TV show a few weeks ago.

I was there to talk about my experience as a one-time single dad who finds himself co-parenting a blended household.  When I think about it, it's pretty remarkable -- five kids melded together from different bloodlines, siblings in every sense of the word.

We've worked hard at that, my wife and I, but we also know that for our kids, simple situations -- simple questions -- can quickly become more complicated. 

"Is that your Mom?"  "Is that your Dad?"

Yes, and no.

Which is different than the answer we'd give, for they're undeniably our kids.  As blended parents, we can't and won't make decisions based on genetics.  Our job is to raise them the best way we can, accepting that we'll be less that perfect along the way.

Again, perfectly normal, even as we hold our own parents to a higher, achievable standard.

To this day, when I look at the old black-and-white family portrait, circa 1968, I marvel at the contrast between those happy suburban smiles and the turmoil that hounded us in the dozen years that followed.

It took me a long time to understand that life happens, that my parents did the best they could, and that a normal family is more a state of mind than anything else.

Parents divorce.  Siblings make bad choices.  We all have decisions and regrets to overcome.

Helping each other -- to move forward, to grow, to fulfill our dreams -- is what real families do.

Which is my problem with the traditional family values movement .  It's far too quick to pass judgement on those families that don't fit its own narrow definition.

The world's not that tidy.  And as my kids prepare to go back to school -- a little older and wiser -- they'll see they're not alone and that "normal" families come in all shapes and sizes.

____________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

From Steve Lambert

SHOPPING FOR BACKPACKS GIVES DAD AN EDUCATION---

Sometimes I can act like such a guy, and I don't mean that is a good way, either.

Take backpacks.  More specifically, backpacks for our three school-age girls.

Part of a distant and forgotten generation (we carried our books under our arms, and walked barefoot in the snow, too).  I foolishly thought the process would be as simple as shopping for Bic pens or No. 2 pencils.

Silly me, so unaware that in today's world, backpacks are so much more than the green canvas knapsacks we used to take on camping trips, but a deeply personal expression -- as important to the self-esteem of a young girl as hairstyle, shoes and designer
T-shirts.

It's why there are moms.  They get it. They know that whatever choice is made, it may never be good enough -- something that engineered to last a year will likely fall out of favor long before then.

And so our trek began -- to discount stores, department stores, drug stores.

Compounding our challenge was the nexus between style and functionality that has made already demanding school girls even more so.  It began early last school year, when our 11-year-old decided she wanted a backpack with wheels and a handle.

I didn't quite understand it, until I tried to lift her old book bag and nearly went into traction.  Kids today don't just carry home a book or two.  Even in first grade, they're little ants carrying 10 times their body weight in books, homework papers and anything else they can stuff in there.

There are even studies that show as many as a third of children in the United States have neck or back pain as a result of carrying backpacks.

So the strolling variety makes a lot of sense -- as long as it looks good, too.  Which is where I erred when I somehow coerced our two youngest girls to grab the two remaining strolling backpacks at the drug store down the road.

Mind you, we'd looked everywhere up until then, and found nothing to their liking.

But that's just the point.  It needs to be to their liking, not something one would find at a bait-and-tackle shop.  I suggested pink ribbons for the zipper tabs -- an idea quickly dismissed.

Long story short, my wife went online and found exactly what they were looking for, I returned the two we bought, and all three girls are pleased as can be.

All's well that ends well.  Sometimes it's the best we guys can hope for.

_______________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

(More of a politics thing, but I will leave it here)

From Steve Lambert------------

WE MUST MAKE INFORMED CHOICES IN NOVEMBER

It's hard to fathom, as we send our kids off to school every morning, how uncomplicated and carefree their world is compared with ours.

They're not worried about unemployment or 401(k)s or how many troops we have in Afghanistan, and if we're good parents, we keep it that way.

Which is why these next two months matter so much.

Perhaps more than ever, the choices we make, the messages we send as the mid-term elections approach will determine what kind of country, what kind of world, our children will inherit.

Will they have jobs?  Will we have jobs?

Will our trade balance and budget deficits allow us to rebuild our economy, hold down taxes and provide the kind of security and defense needed to keep our families safe?

The challenge for us, as voters, is to try to separate rhetoric from a legitimate plan to fix things.

As one who voted for Barack Obama, I've also been very candid in my disappointment over his handling of the economy.  Not that the the Republicans have bowled me over with their plans either.

The wild card this year is the tea party, which has done a formidable job of winning votes, but has yet to demonstrate it has what it takes to move the country forward.

Therein lies the art of political leadership, and why -- from the state house to the White House -- we see so much activity but so little action.

We've always been a people of differing views, and we've expected the people we elect to represent our interests.  But we also counted on them to compromise where it made sense to, in the spirit of getting things done.

Now we just argue, and hope that the other party screws things up so badly that our team is put back in power.

The Republicans are taking full advantage of that now, just as the Democrats tried to in 2008.

Which brings me back to us -- as voters, as  members of our communities, as parents.

We can't allow ourselves not to make informed choices -- to allow the angry rhetoric that surrounds us determine who "wins" in November.

Start by asking who or what is going to create jobs -- and quickly.

As is always the case, the answer is open to our own personal interpretation, but until and unless we're open minded enough to listen to all sides, we're destined to repeat the mistakes of our past.

For our future -- our kids -- let's vow not to do that this time.

_____________________________________________________

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Thank you Larry. I totally agree.