Hill, Bill and and a little Spitzer thrown in...

Started by Warph, November 12, 2009, 10:14:31 AM

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Warph



I see former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer will give a lecture this afternoon at Harvard University's ethics center.  I wondered what ever happened to the ex-Gov.... did the wife leave him?.... someone said he's teaching Law at City University of New York and selling houses for his fathers real estate firm.  Wow, what a putz this guy was.  Giving up everything for a few moments with some $5,000 hooker.

First of all, isn't $5,000 dollars a lot for sex?  No, really.  That's the first thing I thought.  I mean, Five grand is, come on..... a vacation somewhere, or a good used car, or a new kitchen, or the fancy bar-mitzvah in.... say, 1976.  But one orgasm?  Even two small ones.  Are you kidding me?  Never mind right or wrong, I just think it's a hell of an awful lot of money.

Even for the prettiest girl in the world..... and, frankly, what are the odds his "date" was that.....  she's just a woman and you're just a middle-aged man with thin hair, Eliot and the whole thing is over and done with, and she's getting dressed while you're standing in a shower pretty much like the one you have at home.  I know what I'd be thinking:  "Five grand.  Whoa.  I may be the dumbest guy in history.  Lucky for me I'm the Governor of a big state."

Second, if there's a cheesier name in the history of hooking than "Emperor's Club VIP," I'd like to know what it is.  Eucchhh.   

Third.... and this is really the only important thing to me.... I've had it with these guys like Spitzer and this dumb clod governor from SC, forcing their wives to stand up there with them.

Seriously..... there's no reason for it.  It doesn't help the family, it doesn't help the state, it doesn't help the country or the culture, and it surely doesn't help the wife.  Actually, there is one reason for it:  The self-absorbed son-of-a-bitch is still in such deep denial of what he's done, he actually thinks showing his shaken wife might salvage his career.

You know what I'd like to see?  Just once?  I'd like to see the wife interrupt his limp, stupid attempt at grandeur and step forward and say, "Excuse me, folks, but there's something I'd like to say here."  Then I'd like her to whip around and punch him right in the nose.  Bang.  It doesn't have to knock him down, and probably wouldn't, but the look on his face would be worth it.  Then she could shout, "You want to lick your wounds?  Why don't you get your whore girlfriend to do it?  What's she get for that.... ten thousand?"  Then she could straighten her pearls, raise her chin and walk off stage.

I don't think there's a man or woman, young or old, left or right, gay or straight who wouldn't want to see that.

Hey, here's a better idea.  If Hillary Clinton decides to run in 2012 and becomes president, (God help us if this happens) and has an affair while in office.... I'm not saying she should, I'm just saying if... I think this is the way to guarantee her election.

Think about it...  If, in the next big speech or debate she says, "I promise to have an affair in my first hundred days.... or a hundred affairs on my first day.... and then hold a big press conference to apologize, where my husband has to stand a few inches behind me with his hands folded looking hurt but supportive.  Further, I promise it won't be a fast statement with no questions where the guy turns tail and darts off stage, but I'll answer every question from every reporter..... print, TV, magazines, foreign press, cable access, stringers, free-lancers, bloggers, C-span, hobbyists, amateurs, escaped mental patients, everybody.... including follow-ups.  I'll even throw in a bathroom break.  During that, everyone can leave their cameras on Bill's face and show me just staring at him.  Then we'll all adjourn to the bar at the Mayflower for drinks.  On Bill.  One of those road speeches of his could keep the press corps drinking for a year, even if you throw in congress.  If it goes really well we'll do the whole thing again the next day.  Maybe once a week.  Invite regular people from every state who aren't even writers.  And at the end of every one, I'll smile at Bill sweetly and say, 'What's the matter, honey?  Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.'  Then I'll stroll offstage whistling."

Forget health care or terrorism or the economy.  There isn't one voting American who wouldn't get a kick out of seeing that.  And, by the way, the rest of the world would be terrified of this bitch.  Now that's what I call unity.
"Every once in a while I just have a compelling need to shoot my mouth off." 
--Warph

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all."
-- Warph

"A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

jarhead

Warph,
I might be wrong but I think Gov Sanford's wife was a no-show at his confession and booted his ass out of their house

Diane Amberg

Hillary has already said she has moved on and has no interest in running again. Yes, Mrs Sanford did the right thing and booted that big ego out. What a sap!

frawin

Warph, I can't see anybody being crazy enough to have sex with Hillary, Vince Foster was rumored to have had sex with Hillary and then he committed suicide, it must have been a terrible experience for Vince. Maybe Hillary would rather have the $5,000.00 hooker.

jarhead

Hillary had sex with Vince Foster ?? Here I thought it was with Janet Reno.

greatguns

Jarhead, that is why you should give up thinking! :P

larryJ

Janet Reno----------------I am not one who is usually unkind to anyone, but this is my idea of a person who needed to sneak up on a glass to get a drink of water.

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

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