Difference between the North and the South

[Jo McDonald]

The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses .

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt .

[jensarlou]

I still haven't figured it out yet, even after living there, which is KS?  Because the have a lot of both.  :-)

[Catwoman]

Judging from some of the people I've had to deal with in my lifetime, I'd say bi-polar! lol

[Tobina+1]

Uh oh, Jo, you forgot one...

The North has green tea; the South has sweet tea!

[Jo McDonald]

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ....

In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their Mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we   ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

[MarkHall]

I still haven't figured it out yet, even after living there, which is KS?  Because the have a lot of both.  :-)

Kansas never could decide - that's what started the Civil War ;-)

[dnalexander]

When I first moved out to California I was often asked if I was from the South, presumably by the way I talked. I would always reply no I am from the Midwest. I didn't sound like the proper talking Northerners and I didn't have that Southern drawl. I was from the Midwest where we have no accent. When I want a Coke I go get a pop.

David

[Rudy Taylor]

Funny stuff, Jo!

[sixdogsmom]

David, when this Kansas girl married a fellow from Texas and moved to the southern Flinthills, she ended up sounding like an Okie gal. I listened to myself singing awhile back in a practise session and for sure I am Okie bound! 

[Roma Jean Turner]

  I was in Kentucky a couple of weeks ago and stopped at a Sonic.  When the girl brought my order she asked where I was from.  She said it was fun to hear someone with an accent.  I wish now that I would have asked her what she thought my accent was, because hers was definitely more southern than mine.