another slice of wry

[Judy Harder]

That is why I turned it on. Fell asleep to it, so went to bed at Nine........I really am
getting to act like an old woman..............I did watch the Dog Whisperer, too

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------appropriate because it's Halloween, probably could be disgusting to some.

For weeks Frank had been grumbling to his wife, Maureen, about having to go to a Halloween party.  Maureen was adamant ---  they were going. to the party.

The grumbling persisted, but she ignored his antics and had no idea what sort of costume he'd get.  As party time approached she admonished him that he had better get upstairs, put on his costume and a happy face (because they were going to have a good time, period.)

It was time to go and Frank hadn't made an appearance.  Muttering to herself as she climbed the stairs, she opened the bedroom door and her mouth dropped open in shock.  There was Frank with nothing ---- nothing on but a pair of roller skates.

"What ARE you doing?" she asked incredulously.

"Who?  Me?"  he asked.  "I ready to go ---- this is my costume  ----


"I'm going as a pull toy!"

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In 1926, magician Harry Houdini died in Detroit of gangrene and peritonitis resulting from a ruptured appendix.

In 1959, a former Marine showed up at the U.S. Embassy in Moscow to renounce his American citizenship.  His name:  Lee Harvey Oswald.

In 1968, President Lyndon Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam saying he hoped for fruitful peace talks.     (Writer's comment-------HA!)

____________________________________________

Today------------Actress Lee Grant is 82, Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather is 78, Actress Sally Kirkland is 68, Actress Diedre Hall is 61 and Talk show host Jane Pauley is 59.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's--------------------------------------------Was she blond?

It was late one night in the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve were having a disagreement.  Adam had stayed out several nights in a row and Eve was not happy.

"I'll bet you are running around with other women,"  she exclaimed.

"For Heaven's sake, Eve, be reasonable," Adam countered.  "How could I be running around with someone else when you are the only woman on the planet?"

Eve did not have a reply to that.

A short time later, Adam fell asleep.  He was awakened early in the morning hours by Eve poking him in the side.

"What are you doing?" Adam asked sleepily.

Eve replied, "I'm counting your ribs."

__________________________________________________

Today----------Actress Betsy Palmer is 83, Actress Barbara Bosson is 70, Actress Marsha Wallace is 67.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's----------------------------------------AAAARRRRGHHH


When Zachary and Rosemary brought their newborn son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor said, "You have a cute baby."

Smiling, Rosemary said, "I'll bet you say that to all the new parents."

"Actually, no," the doctor replied, "just to those whose babies are really cute."

"So, what do you say to the other?" Zachary asked.

"He looks just like you."

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Today---------R&B singer Earl "Speedo" Carroll (The Cadillacs, The Coasters) is 72, Singer Jay Black (Jay and the Americans) is 71, Actress Stephanie Powers is 67, and Country-rock singer-songwriter J.D. Souther is 64.


___________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's----------------------------------good one


SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE BOUGHT A LEMON----------------------------------------------

1.  As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile on his face and high-five the salesman.

2.  You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a speed dial designation for Moe's towing service.

3.  The booster cables aren't in the trunk, but permanently soldered to the battery.

4.  The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.

5.  You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.

6.  As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.

7.  When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway.  As you go by, it silently falls in behind you.

8.  The little "Service Engine" warning light in the dashboard comes on and reads "It's Me Again."

________________________________________________________

Today------------Actor Ken Barrry is 76,  Movie composer John Barry is 76, Actor Shadoe Stevens is 63, Singer Lulu is 61 and comedienne Roseanne Barr is 57.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------------------------------Down! R.A.M.B.O.

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, Boss?" the clerk said excitedly.  "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long."

"Do you mean that repulsive salmon and blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.

"Yessir, that's the one."

"That's great!" the manager exclaimed.  "I didn't think we'd ever get rid of that monstrosity!  That had to be the ugliest suit we have ever had.  But, tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."

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Today------Actress Loretta Swift is 72, Former First Lady Laura Bush is 63, and Actress Markie Post is 59.

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Larryj

[Wilma]

Larry, I needed that one after so many depressing posts this morning.  Thank you.

[flo]

if anyone read that and didn't smile, they certainly have got problems. 

[larryJ]

Please Note:  R.A.M.B.O., being the egotistical little bas------------mutt that he is, has insisted that is time for some sort of illustration under the name.  I was going to post one of my granddaughter, but he insisted it should be him.  And, because Wilma, among others, have posted pictures of their pets, it is only fitting that his picture should be there.  I am not responsible for this decision.

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

That's a dog?