another slice of wry

[larryJ]

Today's-------------more Halloween Q&A...............

Q:  What is Dracula's least favorite song?
A:  "Sunshine on my shoulder."

Q:  What did the "Mummy" movie director say when the final scene was filmed?
A:  "OK, that's a wrap!"

Q:  Why doesn't anybody like vampires?
A:  They all have bat tempers.

Q:  Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A:  He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q:  Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A:  So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

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In 1711, Jupiter Hammon, the first black poet to have his work published in America, was born on Long Island, NY, into a lifetime of slavery.  (The date of his death is unknown, although he apparently lived at least into his 80's.

In 1931, mobster Al Capone was convicted of income tax evasion.  (Sentenced to 11 years in prison, Capone was released in 1939.)

In 1933, Albert Einstein arrived in the United States as a refugee from Nazi Germany.

In 1973, Arab oil-producing nations announced they would begin cutting back oil exports to Western nations and Japan; the result was a total embargo that lasted until March 1974.

In 1989, an earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale struck Northern California, killing 63 people and causing $6 billion worth of damage.

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Today----------Actress Marsha Hunt is 94, Actress Julie Adams is 85, Newspaper columnist Jimmy Breslin is 81, Country singer Earl Thomas Conley is 70, Singer Jim Seals (Seals and Crofts) is 69, Singer Gary Puckett is 69, Rock musician Michael Hossack is 65, Actor Michael McKean is 64, Actress Margot Kidder is 63, Actor George Wendt is 63 and Actor-singer Bill Hudson is 62.

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October 17th is:  Mulligan Day, National Boss's Day and International Day For The Eradication Of Poverty.
(Note:  I noticed that I may have previously posted some days that were not exactly accurate because I was looking at 2012 rather than 2011.  Sorry about that.)

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Where do little ghosts spend their time while the mommy ghosts work?

Dayscare centers

[larryJ]

Today's---------------hah........

A little boy at a wedding tugged on his mother's sleeve and asked, "Mom, why is the bride all dressed in white?"

Mom whispers, "White symbolizes innocence, a clean start, a new beginning, and the bride feels the joy of all those things as she embarks on her voyage of discovery, fulfillment and commitment.  Also, white reflects light, which is indicative of the radiance that the bride feels today.  It is the happiest day of her life."

The boy was quiet for a moment.  Then he leaned over and said, "Mom, why is the groom all dressed in black?"

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In 1867, the United States took formal possession of Alaska from Russia.

In 1931, inventor Thomas Alva Edison died in West Orange, NJ, at age 84.

In 1961, the movie musical "West Side Story," starring Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer, premiered in New York, the film's setting.

In 1962, James D. Watson, Francis Crick and Maurice Wilkins were honored with the Nobel Prize for Medicine and Physiology for determining the double-helix molecular structure of DNA.

In 1969, the federal government banned artificial sweeteners known as cyclamates because of evidence they caused cancer in laboratory rats.

In 1971, the Knapp Commission began public hearings into allegations of corruption in the New York City police department.  (The witnesses included Frank Serpico.)

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Today-----------Rock and Roll performer Chuck Berry is 85, Sportscaster Keith Jackson is 83, Actress Dawn Wells is 73, College and Pro Football Hall-of-Famer Mike Ditka is 72 and Actress Pam Dawber is 61.

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October 18th is: National Chocolate Cupcake Day, World Menopause Day and Pro-life Day of Silent Solidarity.

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Name a good Halloween Party game.

  Hide and shriek.

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------good thinking, I guess...........

The TV news team tracked down the 110-year-old man at a bar.  Spotlights were set up, the camera started rolling and the reporter asked, "So, tell us, how have you managed to remain active until the grand age of 110?"

The man answered, "I remain as inactive as possible."

The reporter laughed, assuming that the old man was joking.  "No, seriously, you're in such great shape for a man of 110.  How have you managed to do it?"

The old man said, "I take my inspiration from the giant redwood trees.  They are among the oldest living things on Earth.  And, they never budge."

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In 1765, the Stamp Act Congress, meeting in New York, drew up a declaration of rights and liberties.

In 1781, British troops under Gen. Lord Cornwallis surrendered at Yorktown, VA, as the American Revolution neared its end.

In 1960, the United States began a limited embargo against Cuba.

In 1967, the U.S. space probe Mariner 5 flew past Venus.

In 1977, the supersonic Concorde made its first landing in New York City.

In 1987, the stock market crashed as the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 508 points, or 22.6 percent in value.

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Today---------------Former U.S. Ambassador to Russia Robert S. Strauss is 93, Author John le Carre is 80, Artist Peter Max is 74, Author and critic Renata Adler is 73, Actor Michael Gambon is 71, Actor John Lithgow is 66, Feminist Activist Patricia Ireland is 66, Singer Jeannie C. Riley is 66 and Rock singer-musician Patrick Simmons is 63.

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October 19th is:  Evaluate Your Life Day, Hogfish Day and Medical Assistants Recognition Day.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's------------more Halloween Q&A..........

Q:  What's the most complimentary thing you can say to a zombie after he introduces you to his girlfriend?
A:  Where on earth did you dig her up?

Q:  What do you say to a grumpy zombie?
A:  What's the matter?  Did you get up on the wrong side of the crypt?

Q:  What do you call zombies in Death Valley?
A:  Tourists.

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In 1936, Helen Keller's teacher, Anne Sullivan Macy, died in Forest Hills, NY, at age 70.

In 1947, the House Un-American Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist influence and infiltration in the U.S. motion picture industry.

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Today-------------Actor William Christopher is 79, Japan's Empress Michiko is 77, Singer Tom Petty is 61, Actor William "Rusty" Russ is 61 and Rockabilly singer Wanda Jackson is 74.

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October 20th is:  Miss American Rose Day, International Overload Day, Birth of the Bab, Support Your Local Chamber Of Commerce Day, Get To Know Your Customers Day, Get Smart About Credit Day and International Credit Union Day.

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

How do you make an old witch itch?

Take away the ''w.''

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------old but still funny...........

A nice elderly couple had the same doctor.  They both complained to him about memory problems.  He suggested they start writing little reminder notes.

That night, while watching TV, hubby gets up and asks his wife, "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?"

Wife says, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?  And write it down, so you don't forget."

"I can remember that."

"Well, I want strawberries on top.  You're sure to forget that."

"No, I'll remember."

"And whipped cream.  Please write this down."

"For heaven's sake, I can remember ice cream, strawberries and whipped cream.  Don't worry."

Half an hour later, he returns and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at it for a minute, then says, "Where's the toast I asked for?"

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In 1879, Thomas Edison perfected a workable electric light at his laboratory in Menlo Park, NJ.

In 1917, members of the 1st Division of the U.S. Army training in Luneville, France, became the first Americans to see action on the front lines of World War I.

In 1959, the Solomon and Guggenheim Museum, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, opened to the public in New York.

In 1991, American hostage Jesse Turner was freed by his kidnappers in Lebanon after nearly five years in captivity.

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Today-----------------Actress Joyce Randolph is 87, Rock singer Manfred Mann is 71, Singer Elvin Bishop is 69, TV's Judge Judy Sheindlin is 69 and Actor Everett McGill is 66.

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October 21st is:  Mammography Day, Reptile Awareness Day, Global Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD) Prevention Day and Simchat Torah.

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

What do witches like for breakfast?

Bagels and scream cheese.

[larryJ]

Today's------------still more Halloween Q&A..............

Q:  What do you call a skeleton that stays out in the snow all night?
A:  A numbskull

Q:  Why did the skeleton student stay late at the library?
A:  He was boning up for his exams.

Q:  What do you call a skeleton who sleeps late?
A:  Lazy bones.

Q:  What do you call a stupid skeleton?"
A:  Bonehead.

Q:  How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
A:  He could feel it in his bones.

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In 1836, Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally elected president of the Republic of Texas.

In 1928, Republican presidential nominee Herbert Hoover spoke of the "American system of rugged individualism" at New York's Madison Square Garden.

In 1934, bank robber Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd was shot to death by federal agents at a farm in East Liverpool, Ohio.

In 1979, the U.S. government allowed the deposed Shah of Iran to travel to New York for medical treatment -- a decision that precipitated the Iran hostage crisis.

In 2010, Wikileaks released 391,831 purported Iraq war logs that suggested more than 100,000 Iraqi civilians had died in the conflict.

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Today-------------Actress Joan Fontaine is 94, Nobel Prize-winning author Doris Lessing is 92, Black Panthers co-founder Bobby Seale is 75, Actor Christopher Lloyd is 73, Actor Derek Jocobi is 73, Actor Tony Roberts is 72, Actress Annette Funicello is 69, Movie Director Jan de Bont is 68, Actress Catherine Deneuve is 68 and Rock musician Leslie West is 66.

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October 22nd is:  Make a Difference Day, International Stuttering Awareness Day and Caps Locks Day.

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Larryj