another slice of wry

[Diane Amberg]

Knock,knock!
Who's there?
Cow go.
Cow go who?
Nah, cow go moo.

[larryJ]

Today's------------aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh, and it is only Tuesday.......

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel out of order?  I had to knock.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows de cradle will rock.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ahmed.
Ahmed who?
Ahmed a big mistake coming here.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ezra.
Ezra who?
Ezra no hope for me in this world?

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In 1777, Gen. George Washington's troops launched an assault on the British at Germantown, PA, resulting in heavy American casualties.

In 1861, during the Civil War, the United States Navy authorized construction of the first ironclad ship, the USS Monitor.

In 1931, the comic strip "Dick Tracy," created by Chester Gould, made its debut.

In 1970, rock singer Janis Joplin, 27, was found dead in her Hollywood hotel room.

In 1976, agriculture secretary Earl Butz resigned in the wake of a controversy over a joke he'd made about blacks.

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Today-------------Country singer Leroy Van Dyke is 82, Actor Eddie Applegate is 76, Actress Felicia Farr is 76, Author Jackie Collins is 74, Author Roy Blount, Jr. is 70, Author Anne Rice is 70, Actress Lori Saunders ("Petticoat Junction") is 70, Baseball manager Tony La Russa is 67, Actress Susan Sarandon is 65, Actor Armand Assante is 62 and Actor Alan Rosenberg is 61.

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October 4th is:  Cinnamon Roll Day, Blessing Of The Animals Day, Ten-Four Day, Improve Your Office Day and World Animal Day.

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Cargo honk, honk.     10-4?

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------(sigh)

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Police!
Police who?
Police let us in; it's cold out here.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Chimney.
Chimney who?
Chimney Cricket! Have you seen Pinocchio?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't go around knocking on doors, but can I borrow a cup of sugar?

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In 1892, the Dalton Gang, notorious for its train robberies, was practically wiped out while attempting to rob a pair of banks in Coffeyville, Kansas.

In 1921, the World Series was covered on radio for the first time as Newark, NJ., station WJZ relayed reports from the Polo Grounds, where the New York Giants were facing the New York Yankees.

In 1931, Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon completed the first non-stop flight across the Pacific Ocean, arriving in Washington state some 41 hours after leaving Japan.

In 1947, President Harry S. Truman delivered the first televised White House address as he spoke on the world food crisis.

In 2001, tabloid photo editor Robert Stephens died from inhaled anthrax, the first of a series of anthrax cases in Florida, New York, New Jersey and Washington.

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Today------------"Family Circus" cartoonist Bill Keane is 89, Actress Glynis Johns is 88, Comedian Bill Dana is 87, Actress Diane Cilento is 78, College Football Hall-of-Fame coach Barry Switzer is 74, Rhythm-and-blues singer Arlene Smith (The Chantels) is 70, Singer Richard Street is 69, Singer-musician Steve Miller is 68, Rock singer Brian Johnson (AC/DC) is 64 and Actress Karen Allen is 60.

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October 5th is:  World Teacher's Day and Balloons Around The World Day.

________________________________________________

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows da cradle will rock.

[larryJ]

Today's----------------------------Only a few days left.........

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
One shoe.
One shoe who?
One shoe come home, Bill Bailey?  One shoe come home?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Despair.
Despair who?
Despair tire is flat!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Archie.
Archie who?
Gesundheit!

__________________________________________

In 1683, 13 families from Krefield, Germany, arrived in Philadelphia to begin Germantown, one of America's oldest settlements.

In 1927, the era of talking pictures arrived with the opening of "The Jazz Singer," starring Al Jolson.

In 1949, U.S-born Iva Toguri D'Aquino, convicted of treason for being Japanese wartime broadcaster "Tokyo Rose," was sentence in San Francisco to 10 years in prison (she ended up serving more than six.)

In 1989, actress Bette Davis died in Neuilly-sur-Seine, France, at age 81.

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Today---------------Broadcaster and writer Melvyn Bragg is 72, Actress Britt Ekland is 69, Singer Millie Small is 65, Singer-musician Thomas McClary is 62 and Rock singer Kevin Cronin (REO Speedwagon) is 60.

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October 6th is:  Mad Hatter Day, Ecological Debt Day, German-American Day and Jackie Mayer Rehab Day.

__________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's------------------it's almost over.........

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Radio!
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Accordion.
Accordion who?
Accordion to the newspaper, it's going to rain.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
You're welcome!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Figs!
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell!  It's broken!

____________________________________________

In 1996, Fox News Channel made it's debut.

In 1998, Matthew Shepard, a gay college student at the University of Wyoming, was beaten, robbed and left tied to a wooden fencepost outside of Laramie; he died five days later.  (Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney are serving life sentences for Shepard's murder.)

In 2001, the current war in Afghanistan started as the United States and Britain launched air attacks against military targets and Osama Bin Laden's training camps in the wake of the September 11 attacks.  Speaking from the White House, President George W. Bush said, "We will not waver, we will not tire."

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Today------------Retired South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu is 80, Comedian Joy Behar (TV: "The View") is 69, Former National Security Council aide Oliver North is 68, Actress Jill Larsen (TV: "All My Children") is 64, Singer John Mellencamp is 60 and Rock musician Ricky Phillips is 60.

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October 7th is:  Lee's National Denim Day, National Diversity Day, World Smile Day  , and Yom Kippur.

_____________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's---------------groooooaaaan.............

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eskimo!
Eskimo who?
Eskimo questions, I'll tell you no lies.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Queen!
Queen who?
Queen as a whistle!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tarzan!
Tarzan who?
Tarzan and stripes forever!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tad!
Tad who?
Tad's all, folks!

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In 1871, the Great Chicago Fire erupted; fires also broke out in Peshtigo. Wisconsin, and in several communities in Michigan.

In 1934, Bruno Hauptmann was indicted by a grand jury in New Jersey for murder in the death of the son of Charles A. Lindbergh.

In 1945, President Harry S. Truman announced that the secret of the atomic bomb would be shared only with Britain and Canada.

In 1956, Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in a World Series to date as the New York Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in Game 5, 2-0.

In 1957, the Brooklyn Baseball Club announced it was accepting an offer to move the Dodgers from New York to Los Angeles.

In 1981, at the White House, President Ronald Reagan greeted former Presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon, who were preparing to travel to Egypt for the funeral of Anwar Sadat.

_________________________________________________________

Today-------------Entertainment reporter Rona Barrett is 75, Actor Paul Hogan is 72, Rhythm-and-blues singer Fred Cash (The Impressions) is 71, Civil rights activist Rev. Jesse Jackson is 70, Comedian Chevy Chase is 68, Author R.L. Stine is 68, TV personality Sarah Purcell is 63 and Actress Sigourney Weaver is 62.

_________________________________________________________

October 8th is:  Universal Music Day, Alvin C. York Day, National Pierogy Day and National Depression Screening Day.

_________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-------------HOORAY!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER. 

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his mother, "How was I born?"

His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."

The boy says, "Really? The stork brought me?"

Mom replies, "Yes."

The boy follows up with, "OK, how were you and daddy born?"

"The stork brought us, too."

"Hmm, well, how about grandpa and grandma?"

Mom, growing exasperated, says, "They were brought by the stork, too, and so were their parents, and so were their parent's parents."

The boy begins his paper.  "This report is very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for at least five generations."

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In 1776, a group of Spanish missionaries settled in present-day San Francisco.

In 1888, the public was first admitted to the Washington Monument.

In 1930, Laura Ingalls became the first woman to fly across the United States as she completed a nine-stop journey from Roosevelt Field, NY, to Glendale, CA.

In 1936, the first generator at Boulder (later Hoover) Dam began transmitting electricity to Los Angeles.

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Today---------Actor Fyvush Finkel is 89, Former Sen. Treat Lott, R-Miss., is 70, R&B singer Nona Hendryx is 67, Singer Jackson Browne is 63, Actor Gary Frank is 61, Actor Richard Chaves is 60 and Actor Robert Wuhl is 60.

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October 9th is:  National Pro-Life Cupcake Day, International African Diaspora Day, World Post Day, Leif Erikson Day, National Chess Day and Clergy Appreciation Day.

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Note: From the Associated Press:  Los Angeles:  Roger Williams, the virtuoso pianist who topped the Billboard pop chart in the 1950's and played for nine U.S. presidents during a long career, died Saturday.  He was 87.  Williams died at his home in Los Angeles of complications from pancreatic cancer, according to his former publicist Rob Wilcox.

Known as an electrifying stage performer and an adept improviser, Williams effortlessly switched between musical styles.  Williams' 1955 hit "Autumn Leaves" was the only piano instrumental to reach number one on the Billboard pop charts.  It remains the best-selling piano record of all time, with more than 2 million sold.

Nicknamed the "pianist to the presidents," Williams played for every commander in chief from Harry Truman to George H.W. Bush.  His last trip to the White House was in 2008, when he performed at a luncheon for then-first lady Laura Bush.

(I would question the "2 million" comment as I am sure it is much more than that, probably a typo.)

___________________________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-------------hah...........

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

After conducting a rigorous examination and asking many questions, the doctor pulled off his latex gloves, picked up the patient's chart from the counter top, and wrote at length in it.

The patient said with a concerned look, "Doc, I can take it.  Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

The doctor finished writing, then looked up and said, "Well, in plain English, there's nothing wrong with you.  You're just lazy."

The man considered this for a moment, then said, "OK.  Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

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In 1911, California voters approved proposition 4, giving women the right to vote, and Proposition 7, which established the initiative process for proposing and enacting new laws.

In 1973, Vice President Spiro Agnew, accused of accepting bribes, pleaded no contest to one count of income tax evasion, and resigned his office.

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Today---------Former Illinois Sen. Adlai Stevenson III is 81, Actor Peter Coyote is 70, Entertainer Ben Vereen is 65, Singer John Prine is 65, Actor Charles Dance is 65, Rock singer-musician Cyril Neville (The Neville Brothers) is 63, Actress Jessica Harper is 62 and Author Nora Roberts (aka "J.D. Robb") is 61.

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October 10th is:  National Kick Butt Day, International Newspaper Carrier Day, Naval Academy Day, Native American Day and World Mental Health Day.

________________________________________________________

Larryj