another slice of wry

[Catwoman]

This is "Barbie in a blender" Day? LOL...Now, who would do that to a defenseless doll?  Now, some of these other characters could stand some blender time...

[larryJ]

Here you go, Cat.

As I stare off the edge of a cliff, I wonder about the sanity of the world before I jump. Today, ladies and gentlemen, is Barbie-In-A-Blender Day. I am not joking, this is for real, it's not a test, get with the program.

This day is in honor of a court case victory in which a photographer beat Mattel. Mattel sued the photographer for publishing nude Barbies in awkward positions and being blenders, mixers, and other kitchen appliances. In a sense, it was a landmark victory for free speech "art." **Sigh**

(Didn't get the name of the author or wesite, but it is not important.)

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Actually I did take one house plant for a walk....around to the shady side of the house.

[larryJ]

Today's-------------stupid, back to the archives.............

A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry and was not happy about the slowness of the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"

"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time.

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In 1943, President Franklin D. Roosevelt announced the end of coffee rationing, which had limited people to one pound of coffee every five weeks since it began in November 1942.

In 1945, a U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New York's Empire State Building, killing 14 people.

In 1945, the U.S. Senate ratified the United Nations Charter by a vote of 89-2.

In 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson announced he was increasing the number of American troops in South Vietnam from 75,000 to 125,000 "almost immediately."

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Today-----------------Movie director Andrew V McLagien is 91, Actor Darryl Hickman is 80, "Garfield" creator Jim Davis is 66, Singer Jonathan Edwards is 65, Actress Linda Kelsey is 65, TV producer Dick Ebersol is 64, Actress Sally Strothers is 63 and Actress Georgia Engle is 63.

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July 28th is:  National Chili Dog Day, Buffalo Soldiers Day and National Milk Chocolate Day.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's---------------maybe a fourth grader.............

Jim:  Good heavens, man!  Are you crying?

Joe:  You don't understand.  My dog is lost.

Jim:  Don't worry.  He'll come back.

Joe:  You don't understand.  He's been gone for a month.  He's not coming back.

Jim:  Don't worry.  Someone will find him.

Joe:  You don't understand.  I've asked everyone in the neighborhood.  Nobody has seen him.

Jim:  Don't worry.  I'll help you put up some "Lost Dog" posters.

Joe:  You don't understand.  My dog can't read.

(sorry, that is bad, shoulda gone to the archives)

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In 1957, the International Atomic Energy Agency was established.
.....And, Jack Paar made his debut as host of NBC's "Tonight Show."

In 1958, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed the National Aeronautics and Space Act, creating NASA.

In 1981, Britain's Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer at St. Paul's Cathedral in London.  However, the couple divorced in 1996.

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Today-----------------Comedian "Professor" Irwin Corey is 97, Actor Robert Fuller is 77, Former Sen. Elizabeth H. Dole is 75 and Marilyn Tucker Quayle, wife of former Vice President Dan Quayle, is 62.

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July 29th is:  Lasagna Day, National Talk In An Elevator Day, Lumberjack Day, Rain Day and System Administrator Appreciation Day.
................................And, Larry's 37th wedding anniversary..............thank you very much!   

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Definitely a third grade joke.The kids would love that one.Thanks!

[larryJ]

Today's-------------this one will, most assuredly, get me into trouble, but it was too good to pass up.......

The top six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as

"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

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In 1956, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a measure making "In God We Trust" the national motto, replacing "E Pluribus Unum" ("Out of many, one").

In 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed into law the Medicare bill, which went into effect the following year.

In 1975, former Teamsters union president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in suburban Detroit; although presumed dead, his remains were never found.

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Today-------------Actor Richard Johnson is 84, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is 77, Blues musician Buddy Guy is 75, Feminist activist Eleanor Smeal is 72, Singer Paul Anka is 70, Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is 64 and Actor Frank Stallone is 61.

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July 30th is:  Paddle For Perthes Disease Awareness Day, Cheesecake Day and Father-in-Law Day.

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Larryj

[Judy Harder]

That is why FEMALES should rule! now if we could just get the rest (males) to listen...........sigh!

[larryJ]

Today's---------------getting tired of the third-grade jokes............

Sometimes, teachers and students are not on the same wavelength.

Teacher:  "Class, how many of you have had ants in your house? ..... Oh, my goodness!  Look at the show of hands!  Johnny, tell us, do you like having ants in your house?"

Johnny:  "No!"

Teacher:  "Why is that?"

Johnny:  "They're creepy and they get in all the rooms and poke around and try to eat all the food."

Teacher:  "And how does your family deal with the ants?"

Johnny:  "Well, we just hope they will go away."

Teacher:  "Do you ever put out poison for the ants?"

Johnny:  "Oh, no!  I don't like them, but I would never try to poison them.  I might poison my uncles, though.  They're worse."

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In 1777, the Marquis de Lafayette, a 19-year-old French nobleman, was made a major-general in the Continental Army.

In 1961, for the first time in baseball history, an All-Star Game ended in a draw, 1-1, as rain stopped the contest in Fenway Park.  (It was the second of two All-Star Games played that season.)

In  1961, IBM introduced its first Selectric typewriter with it's distinctive "typeball".

In 1964, the American space probe, Ranger 7, reached the moon, transmitting pictures back to Earth before crashing onto the lunar surface.

In 1971, Apollo 15 crew members David Scott and James Irwin became the first astronauts to use a lunar rover on the surface of the moon.

In 1981, a seven-week-old Major League Baseball strike ended.

In 1991, President George H.W. Bush and Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty in Moscow.

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Today----------------Actor Don Murray is 82, Actor Geoffrey Lewis is 76, Actress France Nuyen is 72, Singer Lobo is 68, Actress Geraldine Chaplin is 67, Singer Gary Lewis is 66, Rock singer Bob Welch is 65, International Tennis Hall-of-Famer Evonne Goolagong Cawley is 60 and Actor Barry Van Dyke is 60.

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July 31st is:  Hawaiian Flag Day or Ka Hae Hawai'i Day and Feast Day of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

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Larryj

[Ms Bear]

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver.
Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and ice will ruin your brain.
Coke and ice will ruin your teeth......
WOW -who knew??!!! Apparently ice is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice!!