another slice of wry

[Ms Bear]

Wish I had that problem with my dog, he waits for them to open the door and then comes in first.

[larryJ]

Today's--------------Warph will probably like this one

Some railroad workers who had no knowledge of the game of golf were having their lunch on a hillside overlooking the green of one of  the state's finest country clubs.

They watched as one golfer knocked his tee shot into a rut off the fairway, and then they saw that it took him several swings to get his ball back on the fairway.

They watched him hit his next shot into a sand trap, next to the green, then observed that he took several more strokes extricating his ball out of the sand and onto the green.

Finally, they watched him sink a 60-yard putt right into the cup.

One of them shouted out, "Now you're in a fix, aren't you?  You'll never hit it out of there!"

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In 1927, aviation hero Charles Lindbergh was honored with a ticker-tape parade in New York City.

In 1966, the Supreme Court ruled in Miranda vs. Arizona that criminal suspects had to be informed of their constitutional rights to consult with an attorney and to remain silent.

In 1971, The New York Times began publishing excerpts of the Pentagon Papers, a secret study of America's involvement in Vietnam from 1945 to 1967 that had been leaked to the paper by military analyst Daniel Ellsberg.

In 1996, the 81-day-old Freeman standoff ended as 16 remaining members of the anti-government group surrendered to the FBI and left their Montana ranch.

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Today------------Actor Bob McGrath is 79, Artist Christo is 76, Magician Siegfried (Siegfried and Roy) is 72, Singer Bobby Freeman is 71, Actor Malcolm McDowell is 68, Actor Richard Thomas is 60 and Actor Dennis Locorriere is 62.

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June 13th is:  Whitmonday and Queen's Official Birthday.

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Larryj

[Catwoman]

Loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

[larryJ]

Today's---------------Oh, that explains it.

Jill received the hospital bill for her recent surgery and almost fainted to see a $900 charge for anesthesiology.  She called the hospital, found out how to contact the anesthesiologist and gave him a call.

"This $900 charge can't be correct," she said.

"Oh, yes, that's the standard fee," the doctor said.

"That's a lot of money just to knock a person out, don't you think?" she asked.

"Oh, I knock you out for free," the doctor replied.  "The $900 is for bringing you back around."

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In 1775, the Continental Army, forerunner of the United States Army, was created.

In 1777, the Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the Stars and Stripes as the national flag.

In 1943, the Supreme Court, in West Virginia State Board of Education vs. Barnette, ruled that children in public schools could not be forced to salute the flag of the United States.

In 1954, the words "under God" were added to the Pledge of Allegiance.

In 1967, the space probe Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy on a flight that took it past Venus.

In 1986, death claimed "Wild Kingdom" host Marlin Perkins in suburban St. Louis at age 81.

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Today-----------------Actress Marla Gibbs is 80, Writer Peter Mayle is 72, Actor Jack Bannon is 71, Country-rock musician Spooner Oldham is 68, Rock singer Rod Argent (The Zombies) is 66, Real estate mogul and TV personality Donald Trump is 65, Singer Janet Lennon (The Lennon Sisters) is 65, Rock musician Barry Melton is 64 and Rock musician Alan White (Yes) is 62.

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June 14th is:  Army's Birthday, Pause For The Pledge Day, (World) Blood Donor Day, Family History Day and Flag Day.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's----------------dang it

The priest and the rabbi were old friends.  One day, they invited a younger man, a Baptist minister, to join them on a fishing trip.  They had just rowed to their favorite fishing hole in the middle of the lake, when the priest said, "Good Heavens!  I left my tackle box in the car."  He stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the shore, then returned with his tackle box.

The rabbi said, "I can't believe it.  I left our picnic hamper behind."  He got out of the boat, walked across the water, and returned with the picnic hamper.

The young minister, certain he had beheld twin miracles, was full of spirit.  He decided to test these wonderful waters himself.  He stood, stepped out of the boat and promptly sank like a stone.  After the other two fished him out, he sputtered, "So, how did you two manage to walk on the water like that?"

The rabbi and the priest laughed heartily.  The rabbi answered, "My son, we know where the stepping stones are."

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In 1215, England's King John put his seal to the Magna Carta ("the Great Charter") at Runnymede.

In 1775, the Second Continental Congress voted unanimously to appoint George Washington head of the Continental Army.

In 1864, Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton signed an order establishing a military burial ground, which became Arlington National Cemetery.

In 1944, American forces began their successful invasion of Saipan during World War II.  B-29 Superfortresses carried out their first raids on Japan.

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Today------------Former New York Governor Mario Cuomo is 79, Rock musician Lee Dorman (Iron Butterfly) is 69, Rock singer-actor Johnny Hallyday is 68, Singer Russell Hitchcock (Air Supply) is 62 and Rock singer Steve Walsh (Kansas) is 60.

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June 15th is:  Magna Carta Day, World Elder Abuse Day, Native American Citizenship Day and Nature Photography Day.

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Larryj

[flintauqua]

Today is also Global Wind Day!

http://www.globalwindday.org/index.php?id=9

[Catwoman]

Global Wind Day...OMG... ...Dangit...OK...I'm not going to go there, even though it is almost more than I can take...LOL

[Diane Amberg]

...OH... UM... TEE-HEE...CHORTLE, SNICKER. WHEW!

[flintauqua]

You're welcome Ladies!

Completely ancilary to nothing in particular (or apropos to nothing) - Did anyone here know that Tulsa's Gusty was originally named Windy, and was from Kansas:

http://www.gusty.us/story.htm

Flint

[larryJ]

Today's-------------Hah

The old man boasted to the other fellow on the park bench, "I never have touched a drop a alcohol, and I don't use caffeine, either.  I don't eat spicy foods.  I never have smoked.  I never have wasted a minute of my time in night clubs or dance halls.  I don't gamble or even play card games.  I've never owned a television.  I've never taken up with women.  I've kept on the straight and narrow my entire life and I'm about to celebrate my 90th birthday."

The other fellow considered this for a moment, then said, "Well, can't be much of a celebration, can it?"

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In 1858, accepting the Illinois Republican Party's nomination for the U.S. Senate, Abraham Lincoln said the slavery issue had to be resolved, declaring, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."

In 1911, the Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co., was incorporated in New York State; it later became known as International Business Machines or IBM.

In 1959, actor George Reeves, TVs "Superman" was found dead of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound in the bedroom of his Beverly Hills home; he was 45.

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Today-------------Actor Bill Cobbs is 76, Author Joyce Carol Oates is 73, Country singer Billy "Crash" Craddock is 72, Songwriter Lamont Dozier is 70, Rhythm-and-blues singer Eddie Lavert is 69, Actress Joan Van Ark is 68, Actor Geoff Pierson is 62, Rhythm-and-blues singer James Smith (the Stylistics) is 61 and Boxing Hall-of-Famer Roberto Duran is 60.

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June 16th is:  Bloomsday, Fudge Day, Ladies Day (baseball) and Recess At Work Day.

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Larryj