Crosswalk.com--The Devotional

[Judy Harder]

March 7, 2011

It's Good for Your Character
Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5, NIV

I grew up in a very special church back in the '70s and '80s. It was nondenominational, had tremendous traditional worship and congregational singing and was attended by many seminary professors and students. 

Seeds that were sown in my life in those early years of my spiritual growth are now sprouting, and I'm drawing upon what I have learned as I make my way through adulthood. 

From time to time, I flip through a bound collection of meditations on sayings that my pastor put together. He would regularly refer to these life principles from the pulpit, and today, whenever I hear them being said (or concepts that are similar) by others, I remember what he preached on them many years ago.

"It's good for your character," he would often say. And here's how he explained that further:

"God uses the routine, the difficult, even the painful to develop in us qualities of Christlike character that can be learned in no other way."

When we begin to see our lives from this perspective, that's when we've turned a corner. But in order to keep thinking in this way, we have to make daily readjustments, as we don't always want to see the routine, the difficult and even the painful in this way. I know I don't. But it is the right way to look at any uncomfortable situation in our lives. The classic passage regarding trials in James 1:2-4 helps us to see this.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Let's break that down even further:

Consider it pure joy. How do you do this when you're going through a divorce? Or after the death of a loved one or in the loss of a job? What will it take to see the joy despite the circumstances? Only God can give us this joy and change our perspective.

Testing develops perseverance. In order to learn how to persevere, we have to go through some trying times. Think back on the trials in your life. What were the results? Did you make changes in your life? Did God help you get through them? Remember what he did for you as you continue to serve him.

Perseverance must finish its work. We can't go from diapers to dungarees in the snap of a finger. Living takes time. And there are "pains" that go with it. Sure, it hurts sometimes, but know that the uncomfortable seasons mean that you are growing.

Be mature and complete. When you were a child, you didn't have a bulging file folder of life experiences to draw from. Now that you're older, hopefully you can see how you've grown closer to the Lord and how he has changed you. Draw from past lessons as you choose to live and think differently today.

Intersecting Faith & Life:

Can you look back on the routine, the difficult, even the painful times of your life and see how God has developed your character? List some specific trials and the resulting changes that have been made in your character and praise your merciful Savior.

Further Reading:

2 Corinthians 4:7-12, MSG

1 Peter 4:12-13, NIV 

[Judy Harder]

March 8, 2011

Who Cares about Leviticus?
Katherine Britton, Crosswalk.com News & Culture Editor

"You are to be holy to me, because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set your apart from the nations to be my own." – Leviticus 20:26

Like most evangelicals, I haven't devoted much time to parsing Leviticus. After all, we live under the new covenant ushered in by Christ's death and resurrection, and we're Gentiles to boot. Leviticus was written for a particular people at a particular time, and vast sections of the book have been demoted to historical curiosities at this point. The fledgling kingdom of Israel – really, a collection of tribes that had more in common with their pagan neighbors than today's Christian enclave – were on the other side of history's turning point. The Lord dictated incredibly detailed ceremonial law for this emerging nation that has since passed away, as we have a new and perfect high priest.

Still, the apostle Paul insists that "all Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching" (2 Timothy 3:15). Remember, this is Paul speaking, the same apostle who vilified the Judaizers for insisting the law must be upheld in its minutae to achieve salvation, and who wrote that "no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law." The resolution of the paradox might be a bit more apparent through the example of Park Street Church in Boston.

Pastor Daniel Harrell convinced 19 members of his congregation to join him in an experiment in "living Levitically," despite the drastic changes they had to make in their daily living. The group grew out their beards, kept kosher, cleaned their homes meticulously, observed the Sabbath, and even stopped wearing clothes made from blended materials. One of the few exceptions to the experiment was animal sacrifice, as the group intended not to break any U.S. laws while observing the ceremonial ones.

The group found it absolutely impossible to obey every tenet. But the Park Street Church says that wasn't the point. Seeing firsthand that they couldn't perfectly fulfill the law, they realized the need for grace in a whole new way. As Romans 5:20 explains it, "The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more."

Could it be that, in ignoring Leviticus as a whole, we forget how awesome grace is? True, not every ceremonial law (washing your feet? Wearing blended materials?) is also a moral law. But God still told the Israelites to keep it as his law. Reading about the church's example reminded me of a couple things:

First,God's people are supposed to be set apart. The Israelites were supposed to look different, act different, worship different, and spend their time in different ways than the nations around them. It was an integral part of their calling as God's people. The manifestations aren't quite the same, but Christians have the same calling today.

Second, we aren't set apart enough. As Park Street Church rediscovered, the law points out our insufficiencies. Even if the law were just a set of external rules, we still couldn't keep them perfectly. We just can't measure up to following the law or Christ's example.

Third, only in Christ can we find rest from the law and a new identity that really sets us apart. The writer of Hebrews notes that the law is "only a shadow of the good things that are coming." And yes, the law is a good thing – it makes us realize how much Christ had to atone for on our behalf. Not only that, God has adopted us as sons and daughters through Christ to really set us apart. And then he gives us the grace to live it. Sure, we'll still fall, and that will remind us to run to grace. But the power of the law is gone through Christ.

Intersecting Faith & Life: This week, take time to read Hebrews 10. Notice how beautifully Christ not only supersedes the law, but fulfills all of its demands. That ought to inspire the worship that God desires more than the Israelites' burnt offerings.

Further Reading:

Living Leviticus: Who Could Do It? Who Would Want To?

How to Use the Law – Lawfully to Bear Fruit for God

[Judy Harder]

March 9, 2011

Ashes to Ashes
by Sarah Phillips, Crosswalk.com Family Editor


By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return. (Genesis 3:19). 

"Remember that thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return." These are the priest's words as he solemnly traces an ashen cross on the forehead of each believer with his thumb every year on Ash Wednesday. This Wednesday, Christians around the world will flock to receive these ashes, marking the first of the forty days of Lent 2011.

So where did this tradition come from? Why do so many Christians feel compelled to "get their ashes" every year?

Dust made an appearance in Scripture at the very beginning. God made Adam out of dust before breathing life into him. But after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God gave the pair some bad news: death would now return them and their descendants to dust. In recognition of this tragic day, ancient Israelites customarily sat or rolled in ashes when mourning the death of a loved one.

But ashes were not just worn after a physical death. Wearing ashes also became symbolic of spiritual death. In the Old Testament, a penitent sinner often covered his head in ashes as an acknowledgement of his wrongdoing. We see both Job and the prophet Daniel do this. Here is Daniel's heartfelt prayer recorded in Daniel 9: 15 - 16, 18:

"Now, O Lord our God, who brought your people out of Egypt with a mighty hand and who made for yourself a name that endures to this day, we have sinned, we have done wrong. O Lord, in keeping with all your righteous acts, turn away your anger and your wrath from Jerusalem, your city, your holy hill... We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy..."

Today, the ashes of Ash Wednesday continue to represent physical mortality. They are a sign of the physical consequences of original sin: death. They also remind us of Christ's suffering and death on the Cross.

But perhaps more importantly, ashes continue to symbolize public repentance and spiritual conversion. Like Daniel, ash-wearers openly acknowledge their sinful nature, repent of their wrongs, and recognize that salvation flows from God's mercy, not their righteousness.

This penitent attitude is at the heart of Lent. Whether you receive ashes on Wednesday or not, these forty days are set aside to help believers come to terms with humanity's universal sinfulness, as well as help each one of us recognize the ways we personally sin against God. As we take responsibility for the areas in life where we've fallen and seek God's forgiveness, our relationship with Him deepens.

In a culture where self-esteem is a high priority, the Lenten observance does not always come easily. We'd prefer to rationalize wrongdoing while publicizing our talents. But the purpose of Lent is never to leave us sitting in a heap of ashes. Instead, it's meant to bring us a little closer to reality and to cultivate a sense of awe and gratitude for God's incredible mercy towards those who trust in Him. At the end of the journey, the Lenten traveler enters more deeply into the joy of the empty tomb, the resurrection, where sin and death no longer hold power over God's people.

Intersecting Faith & Life:  Reflect on the past year and your Christian walk. Ask God to show you where you need to change. What sins do you gravitate towards? What sins have you rationalized away? Make peace with God by confessing and sincerely apologizing for your sins. Thank God for His mercy. Pray about any action you may need to take to avoid temptation to sin.

Further Reading

Ash Wednesday: A Time to Reflect and Prepare

Ash Wednesday Reflections

[Judy Harder]

March 10, 2011


Spring Training for Christians
by Shawn McEvoy, Crosswalk.com Managing Editor

We don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong.
2 Corinthians 5:16, The Message

You've probably heard that God loves baseball. After all, He began his holy book with the words, "In the big inning..." Everyone who loves baseball like the Lord does feels a tremendous rush this time of year with another set of words: "Pitchers and catchers report." For the uninitiated, this phrase signals the official start of spring training, which brings with it new hope, and knowledge that at least there's a thaw and green grass in some parts of our country.

In fact, the game I love, and the game of fantasy baseball off which it is based, are both so prevalent in my mind this week that as I sat down to write this I found my mind wandering. So, noticing that a good friend, fellow fantasy baseballer and pastor was active on his Instant Messenger, I began the following conversation:

Me: I'm sitting here trying to write this week's devotional, but I've got a screenful of stats in front of me, taunting me. Pastor Jay, is there any way I could combine the two? Does our league have any good devotional content?

Jay: Oh, I'm sure we do. How about how we peak spiritually at age 27, like most hitters do?

Me: Goodness, I hope that's not true. How about our Spiritual Slugging Percentage... are we whomping our fair quota of sinners and unbelievers regularly?

Jay: Uh, right... How about how On-Base Percentage equals theological correctness/sound doctrine, and Slugging Percentage equals evangelism, the impact you're making for the Lord?

Me: You're on to something.

There are truly spiritual parallels everywhere.

But as is always the case, snippets of insight and truth are only valuable when applicable. The above only served to remind me that it's time to take a break from my analysis of the statistics of men who play a game, and check in on my own statistics, go through my own spring training of sorts.

Today's verse gives us a starting place for where to look, what kind of statistics are important in the Kingdom as opposed to the diamond. Things like height, weight, vertical leap, 40-yard-dash times, race, creed, color, gender... none of those matter. Here's the checklist we'll be using to see who's gonna make the team this season:

Measurables

On-Base Percentage - Like my buddy said, in our checklist this involves good theology and doctrine. Baseballers like to hear chatter out there on the infield. Are you talking the talk?

Slugging Percentage - Now you have to put the above theology to good use, and walk the walk. How much 'oomph' can you contribute to the goals of the team?

Batting Average - The most you can do is just put the bat on the ball. So many other factors determine if you're gonna get a safe hit or not, meaning you'll probably fail to connect or reach safely at least 70 percent of the time... and that's if you're one of the best. The rest is up to God.

Errors - Can't be avoided, even by the very best of us. What's important is that we don't grow complacent with making them. Biblical ignorance is not an acceptable excuse. Neither is yelling at your teammate for making an error.

Strikeouts and Walks - Both are fine. They reveal effort. The way you know you're off-track is when these become Walkouts and Strikes. I don't need to be leaving, boycotting, quitting, or checking out in the middle of a slump or when the other team is full of punks.

Sacrifices - When the coach calls for you to bunt another person into a more prominent position, will you obediently lay one down? When you can bring in a run by hitting a fly ball for an out will you gladly do so?

Intangibles

Coachability - I can't think of a single reason or supporting scripture for a me-first attitude on the Kingdom Conquerors.

Discipline - To what do you say yes, to what do you say no? What do you fail to do? What do you never fail to do?

Leadership - Look behind you. Is anyone following?

Performance Enhancers - Yes, please. I'm simply not good enough to compete in this game without them. No, not steroids, but the Holy Spirit, and regular Bible study and prayer times.

Intersecting Faith & Life: Watch a sporting event with a younger person this week, and see how many parallels and applications you can make together to our spiritual journey.

Further Reading

Opening Day for America
Finish Strong in the 9th Inning of Life
The Magic of Opening Day

[Judy Harder]

March 11, 2011

The First Fruit of the Gospel
Alex Crain
Editor, Christianity.com

"For whosoever shall be ashamed of Me and My words, of him shall the Son of Man
be ashamed, when He shall come in His own glory..."
Luke 9:26 NASB

It is important to be clear in our understanding about the substitutionary nature of His death for sinners. Second Corinthians 5:21, "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

Nothing—not good works, religious rituals, not anything can add merit to His perfect work of atonement.

Still, virtue does flow from the work of Christ in our lives.

One virtue that is the necessary result of the gospel in our lives is the habit of dying daily. Francis Schaeffer, in his book True Spirituality, insightfully takes us to Luke 9:22-26 about this where Christ is telling His disciples the certain order of events that would soon occur to Him... that He would be rejected, slain, then raised.

Jesus immediately relates this order—rejected, slain, raised—to the Christian life as well.

In Luke 9:23-24, Jesus says, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it." 

"Jesus is talking here about our death by choice in the present life. He applies it to a specific situation to make it more concrete. "For whosoever shall be ashamed of Me and My words, of him shall the Son of Man be ashamed, when He shall come in His own glory..." (Luke 9:26)

"The Bible is not speaking of some romantic feeling, some idealization, some abstraction. Jesus carries this concept of facing the rejection, being slain, down to a very practical situation: facing an alien world. It is the saying "no" to self when our natural selves would desire acceptance by the alien world—a world in revolt against its Creator and our Lord.

"...this command of Christ is not limited to one situation; it is that which is to be the whole mentality and outlook of the Christian's life.

"As Christ's rejection and death are the first steps in the order of redemption, so our rejection and death are the first steps in the order of true and growing spirituality.

"As there could be no next step in the order of Christ's redemption until the step was taken, so in the Christian there can be no further step until these first two steps—rejected, slain—are faced; not in theory only, but at least in some partial practice."

Intersecting Faith & Life: 
Is the gospel bearing fruit in your life in this way? Put another way, do you increasingly treasure Christ so that things and self receive less and less of your time, attention and resources?

Ask God for grace to live before the watching world in a way that others would see the blessings of a resurrected life in you.

Further Reading:
Philippians 1
The Expulsive Power of a New Affection

[Judy Harder]

March 14, 2011

Sweet Frog
By Ryan Duncan, Editor for TheFish.com

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

On Presidents Day weekend, my father and sister drove from Illinois to visit me in Virginia. It was a great weekend, one of the best I've had in a while. We toured Richmond city, ate at some of the best local restaurants, saw two movies, and spent our time as a family. 

On their last day in Richmond, the three of us traveled to a small part of the city known as Cary Town where we stopped for frozen yogurt in a neon-colored shop named "Sweet Frog." That's when it happened. I should have know, should have seen it coming. The brightly colored walls, quaint setup, even the concept -- frozen yogurt -- how could I have missed it? But no, I was totally blindsided when my dad leaned over to me and said,   

"You know, Ryan, this would be the perfect place to take a girl on a date."

To be fair, I love my Dad and giving good advice is what Dads do, but I am more than aware of how painfully single I am.

Jon Acuff, author of Stuff Christians Like, once wrote an article about what happens when young, twenty-something guys are asked if they're dating.   

"If you answer 'yes', I imagine fireworks go off, confetti cannons fire and you get a ribbon that says "1st place" but when you answer 'no,' three things happen:

My friend's mom brings up my last High School girlfriend, a prom date, or "that one girl your mom was telling me about at school" and proceeds to ask, "what happened with 'that'?" Then I awkwardly explain why those relationships didn't wind up with me being on one knee, pledging my life to that female. A generic cliché like, "Life was just taking us in different directions" usually gets the job done.

My friend's dad hears I am single, which causes him to give me an abundance of "Dad's trying to be cool" fist pounds and references to me being a single man and "free." Once the high fives stop, he gives me a ten-step action plan on how to meet women based on what he did to meet his wife.

But the worst, no question, is the little old ladies at church. Being 22 and single is something they absolutely cannot fathom. They often explain how they had been married for 5 years at this point in their life and had two kids and one on the way. Nothing you say to justify your state in life appeases their grief that you are not married."- (Stuff Christians Like # 955)

Funny as this is, in all honesty, I was worried. Since college, three of my best friends had gotten engaged. Two others were in serious relationships. I was just, well, single. I am not good a dating; I never have been. What if I never meet someone? What if I never start my own family? What if God's plan for my life was to stay single?

As I sat there, stewing in my own anger and self pity, my sister pointed toward the wall. "Hey, look at the acronym they made." I turned my head. The store had decorated the walls with shirts bearing their name and logo. On one shirt, beneath the Frog in "Sweet Frog" someone had printed the words, "Fully. Rely. On. God." It's strange to think that God would speak to someone in a neon-pink frozen yogurt store, but honestly, I think he did.


God does have a plan for our lives. We can spend our time worrying about what the future holds, or we can trust him, and take each day as the gift it was made to be. It doesn't mean life is going to be easy, far from it, but we can be reassured with the knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.

Intersecting Faith and Life 

Are you single and worried about your future? Get involved with openings at your church, and give some of your time to God.   

Further Reading

Proverbs 3:5 

[Judy Harder]

 
March 15, 2011 

And She Was Sore Afraid
Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com Senior Editor


The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? ... For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock ... I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.  Psalm 27:1, 5, 13-14

Sorry, there's no catchy intro for today's devotional. No special personal story to tease. No witty comments to keep you invested. Just some raw and unrefined honesty. And here it is:

I am afraid.

Yes, I am afraid. Perhaps it's a result of spending too much time watching cable news in the past week or so. War, violence and bloodshed, political demonstrations, natural disasters, crazy weather patterns, a limping economy, massive debt and the like. Or maybe it's due to the fact that so many friends and family and acquaintances of mine are experiencing hard times right now as well: job loss, illnesses, marital failures, devastating sin issues, home foreclosures and on and on.

I confess that I have found myself mired in the hopelessness and despair of it all. And I am sad and feel very small. Does anything really matter any more? Is my witness making a difference? Is God really in control of all of this? Does he care? And is the world just going to crash and burn anyway?

I know that this is where the enemy wants to keep me: stuck in my fear with emotions and dismal circumstances blurring my vision. He doesn't want me to remember that I have a lifeline—the hope for eternity that is found in God's Word.

But ha! on the enemy. That's where I'm going right now, and I'm taking you with me. Let's take this fear, measure it against Truth and see what the Great I Am, the Alpha and the Omega and our Jehovah-jireh has to say:

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you (Psa. 9:9-10). Yes, I will seek the One who is secure and offers me protection! He is my safe place.

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me (Psa. 50:15). Yes, I will cry out to the Lord! Help me, my great Protector! You are worthy to be praised!

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe (Prov. 18:10). Yes, he is my mighty and unfailing fortress! Of whom shall I be afraid?

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal (Isa. 26:3-4). Yes, I will meditate on the Truth found in God's Word! I will think on the eternal, unchangeable God and not what I see happening around me. His perfect peace is available to me!

Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God (Isa. 50:10). Yes, I will trust in my God as I obey what he is asking me to do! He is all I need to guide me when life is confusing and my way is not clear.

I know I can't be the only one who has been "sore afraid" as of late. And perhaps these verses will encourage you today as well. When we focus on the Lord instead of whatever or whomever makes us afraid, we can be confident in he who is our light and our salvation and the stronghold of our lives.

Intersecting Faith & Life:

Are you afraid? What is causing you to forget who God is and how he has provided—and will continue to provide—in your life? Spend some time meditating on Psalm 23, and remember that the Lord is the great shepherd of the sheep and that HE is watching over you!

Further Reading:

Psalm 18:3

Isaiah 43:2

Matthew 10:29-31

Hymn:  "My Hope is in the Lord"

Composer:  Norman J. Clayton (1945)

[Judy Harder]

March 16, 2011

The Fool for Christ
Katherine Britton, Crosswalk News & Culture editor

"Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe." 1 Corinthians 1:20-21

I read Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment for fun when I was 15. In college, I took classes on constitutional law and Byzantium and Islam as electives. Now, I'm an editor who reads and writes all day, and lo, the sun shineth upon my great vinyl desk. I'm definitely an academic at heart. And who doesn't like to appear smart? Or wise? Or "in the know"? Or just downright witty and funny? In my human heart, I love it when someone says, "Wow, that's a great point" or "Haha! Great comeback!" to something I said.

You can imagine me deflating when a Sunday school teacher brought out these verses a few days ago. What do you mean I'm called to look like a fool? God nudged me and I looked back with a little pout. Then He nudged me again and pointed to his "more excellent way." (1 Cor. 12:31)

The apostle Paul had the ability - and the guts - to take on the philosophers of Athens, the Jewish elite, and any other wise guy who came his way. But in his God-given wisdom, he understood that it wasn't about winning the argument, or even sounding intelligent. His goal was to speak God's truth and let the Lord work on people's hearts and minds.

Paul knew that "the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing" - those who don't know Christ don't "get" what's so earth-shattering about the Gospel. Yet "to us who are being saved it is the power of God," (1 Cor. 1:18) it's far more incredible than anything Plato could dream up or Shakespeare could write. The fact that God took me when I was dead in sin and made me "alive together with Christ" (Eph. 2:5) shuts my mouth and heart to anything "smart" I have to say. There's no room for my tiny human accomplishments beside God's infinite wisdom and work. God's love simply overwhelms, well, everything. That humbles me. My attitude should be like that in the praise song:

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing.

Everything else is just tomfoolery compared to such grace. How can I keep from singing His wisdom?

Intersection of Faith & Life: In your conversations today, ask yourself what's behind your words. Is it a motivation to be funny for its own sake? Impress someone with your knowledge? Or to live out the Gospel by humility, edification, and love?

Further Reading:

1 Corinthians 2:2, 20

Galatians 2:20

Psalm 117:2

[Judy Harder]

March 17, 2011

Look Up
by Sarah Jennings, Crosswalk.com Family Editor

But he answered and said to his father, "Look! For so many years I have been serving  you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him." ~ Luke 15: 29 - 31

I recently ran across a forum discussion about being single that reminded me of my single days. The original posting went something like this:

"I really want to be married. I've waited years and years to be married. I've saved myself for my wedding night and lived a life pleasing to God. So it really pains me to see all these people who compromised their purity getting married when I've lived chastely but remain single and dateless. It's just not fair."

Have you ever felt this way? It's natural to feel frustrated when we make good choices and get burned while those who made poor choices seem to have it easier. Yes, most of us have empathized with the older brother of the prodigal son at some point. After all, he is the son that did everything right.

But truthfully, the older brother wasn't much different from the younger. Both brothers believed a fallacy: If I do things my way, I'll win. The consequences of a prodigal son's actions are often obvious - life often crumbles around them as they break away from God's truth and embrace reckless living. But what exactly happens when we embrace the attitude of the older brother?

We may still attend church, continue to make righteous decisions, and maintain the appearance of well-being, but we begin to rot on the inside as we internally pull away from the Father's life-giving love. I see three subtle dangers to the soul who suffers with Older Brother Syndrome:

1. Loss of spiritual clarity. When we embrace the stance of the older brother, our spiritual vision darkens because we turn our gaze away from Christ to fixate on someone else's life. The older brother travels down an ungodly path because he fails to see things from his merciful father's perspective. From his corner, he cannot see that the prodigal brother suffered for his transgressions and repented with sorrow, nor can he see his own blessings clearly. He festers with envy over the celebration and misinterprets his father's forgiveness as a personal slight. While the older brother may justify his anger in light of the pain his younger brother inflicted on their father, the oldest son only increases his father's pain with his bitter, ungrateful heart.

2. Pride finds a foothold.  Let's face it - comparing our "goodness" to another's faults can only lead to a full-blown case of spiritual pride. And pride is deadly to the soul. It causes us to lose gratitude towards our Father, obscures our own need for mercy, and misleads us into thinking God owes us something. We may make ineffective -- even destructive -- attempts to grasp at the blessings we no longer trust God to provide for us.

3. Misery settles in. Unlike the prodigal, the eldest brother had access to his loving father for his entire life. Yet his response to his father's joy does not reveal a joyful heart. Pride, envy, judgmental attitudes and perfectionism squeeze peace and happiness out of our lives.

So what can we do to find peace when we feel life treats us unfairly? I think its okay to acknowledge feelings of sadness, frustration and even confusion. But at the end of the day, it's best to stop looking at others and start looking up.

Intersecting Faith & Life: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?" (Gen 4: 6). Cain and Abel are another set of brothers who suffered from envy. Cain's sin ultimately mastered him. Is there anything you're holding onto in your heart that is causing you to "look down," away from the Father's loving gaze? Ask God to remove it from your heart.

[Judy Harder]

March 18, 2011


Men & Christian Friendship: It Won't Just Happen on its Own
by Shawn McEvoy, Crosswalk.com Managing Editor

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.
Proverbs 17:17, NLT

I own many books, but the ones I reference often I keep above my desk at work. One of these is a 1983 edition of David W. Smith's The Friendless American Male. It's a title that, sadly, has only grown more accurate in the last 28 years, its content more applicable. Men, especially us hard-working, married-with-children types, are lacking in close biblical friendships. The reasons are varied and several, and it's not my intent in the space of a daily devotional to present or solve them all. Suffice to say that most men I talk with vouch for the lack of friends in their life, even if they speak of different reasons for the condition.

It's something I worry about, something I marvel at when I consider some of the differences between myself and my own father. Back when my father was climbing the ladder in the Tucson Real Estate industry and had children aged 7 and 5 like I do now, his weekends were all his own. Tennis in the morning on both Saturday and Sunday. Soaking up sun at the pool or doing yardwork in the afternoons. Watching sports or even working in the evenings. A quarterly fishing trip. Several of these activities involved his friends and acquaintances. It's worth noting that he didn't know the Lord at this time in his life, but also important to note that, to the best of my recollection, we kids weren't starved for his attention or affection. It still seemed like we were close, and had plenty of time together. So, I use my father as an example of the model I was shown for what men were expected (allowed?) to do and be in the 1970s.

At some point things changed, and yes, in most ways, for the better. Men began leaving their work at work. Being conscious about setting aside time for family activities. Reserving weekends for playing with their kids and going to soccer games rather than hitting the tennis court or the golf links or the lake. Technology, instead of saving us time, only seemed to create more ways in which we could spend it working. Where my father routinely met his buddies for a beverage after work, it's all I can do to rush home, swallow some food, and not leave my wife and kids feeling neglected before I log on for another couple hours of work and then an exhausted collapse into bed. Meeting another dude for a beer or coffee? Seriously, I don't want to laugh, but when? Even if I had a hole in my schedule, what makes me think the person I might invite (even if I knew someone well enough to want to spend time with him) would have time and desire, too? I've been heavily involved in our Adult Bible Fellowship class at church for years now, and I can count on one hand the times I've done something outside of church with any of the men in that group.

So, something is definitely missing. Somewhere, we went too far. I remember being single and having the privilege to work with some very close friends in our college admissions office, both of whom were newly-married. Getting them to do anything outside work was just about impossible. One of them wouldn't even go see a movie with me - one that I was offering to pay for - on the night his wife was busy studying for her nursing final exams. The other wouldn't even ask his wife whether he could put off lawn mowing for one more day to attend a minor league baseball game with a mutual friend who was in town for one night. What was going on?

Sure, I was tempted to blame their wives for not letting their husbands out to play, but even if there was truth to that notion, it wasn't the issue. The issue was, and is, that men simply are not bonding much these days... that the Bible speaks about friendship and male leadership and iron sharpening iron... and we are either purposefully choosing or unwittingly failing to make bonding and sharpening a priority.

So how do we purposefully choose?

For me, the solution lies partly in my favorite time of every year, mid-March. That's when I and 13 of my friends from college and camp get together for a long weekend of fishing, good food, fantasy baseball drafting, and most importantly, fellowship. We call it "Draftmas" because it's very much like a holiday for us, and it centers around our fantasy baseball draft and league as a device to draw us all together, give us common footing. But to a man, most would tell you that the baseball is not the point. So what is?

Back to Smith's book; on page 52 he writes: "Close friendships don't just happen. They result from the application of principles recorded throughout the Word of God." He contrasts the kindness and affection that David and Jonathan shared with the "lack of sympathy" and "overt emotional harrassment and condemnation" Job experienced with his pals Zophar, Eliphaz, and Bildad. The difference, Smith says, can be found throughout the Bible in these six principles of male friendship:

1.     God-Centered

2.     Formation of a covenant

3.     Faithfulness

4.     Social involvement

5.     Candor

6.     Respect

Just as Amos 3:3 says, "Do two men walk together unless they have made an appointment?", so do we display an intentional commitment to this activity as central to who we are as men, to who we want to be the rest of the year for our families and each other. While having close friends who don't live near me (but whom I'm always in contact with) does, admittedly, sometimes hinder me making new friends locally, it also serves to remind me how making new friends is possible and necessary. And I can see Smith's principles at work in this treasured group: God is indeed at the center of each of our lives; we've formed an agreement to meet together and communicate together around something we all enjoy, and are faithful to that agreement, to God, and to each other. We all fill roles, and are active socially and economically with each other, lending a hand in often amazing ways when needs arise; we speak freely and candidly, and we respect the various issues everyone brings to the table.

This year more than any other year in the past, those issues are big ones. Joblessness. Crises of faith. Being overwhelmed. Economic hardship. Remarriage. Career decisions. Waiting on God. Loneliness. Recently-deceased parents. Autism. Health. I'm really wondering how different this gathering is going to be from past ones. With so many of us suffering so many trials of life right now, some might think this sure sounds like a downer of a man-cation. I don't think it will be. In fact, I can't wait to get out of town to really bounce ideas and prayers off my friends, really seek out ways we can help each other, while at the same time destroying them by catching more fish and outbidding them for Albert Pujols.

It's an amazing dynamic, one I could not live without. One of our group recently told me, "You know this is only going to get harder to keep up the older we get." I disagreed. I know that I and several others are only finding it easier. For one thing, our wives have finally seen the difference in their men when they spend this time with each other. Mine practically pushes me out the door even though the event is usually over her birthday weekend. It's not a perfect answer to what I'm missing and seeing so many other men miss in their lives, but it's a start, and even, I realize now, a model.

Intersecting Faith & Life: What common interest can you center a group of Christian men around? It should be an excuse, a starting point, a conversational diving board. While things like sports, fishing, golfing, and other stereotypical male things are good, bear in mind that no one man enjoys all of these activities or subjects, and often, it's a sore spot with them, one that might be the very thing that, deep down, has them feeling like not as much of a "man." Wives, you can help "wake up" your listless man by hooking him up with his friends (not YOUR friends' husbands on a grown-up play-date, mind you), letting him reconnect with those who share his memories and activities he used to enjoy. Several healthy couples I know set aside one weekend every year for each person to spend a same-sex getaway with close friends, while also not feeling threatened by the idea of an evening here, an afternoon there causing any damage to the relationship. If anything, it'll make your marriage healthier, and bring back some things to talk about and pray for.

Further Reading

1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-10
The Making of a Friendship
Why Men Need Friends