sighhhhhhhhh.. Can you relate? LOL

[Teresa]

I'm sure that very few men have had this kind of experience but I bet the females in your life have had.. If they have children and grandchildren.. LOL

( I definitely can relate) 

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does
it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the
library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.

People often comment on how clearly he speaks for
a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the
volume. It's always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing
times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by
a not-so-audible voice, but never have I  wished this more than last week
at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me
into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the second to the
last stall you would have heard this:

'Mommy, are you going to go potty?  Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on
the potty, Mommy? Oh You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy,
what are you doing?  Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?'

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the
bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5?  Maybe we
could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this
stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued:
'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you?  Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy!
Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?
Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh Mommy!  I'm trying to see in dere.
Oh! I see dem.  Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!'

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me.
Where is a screaming new born when you need her?  Good grief.

This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long
time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said,

'Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy.
We'll both have some!'

'No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies.  Oh Mommy!' He started to gag at this point.

'Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up.  Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gwoss!!'

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.  I  quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK There are four other toilets.  If I count four flushes,
I can  be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

'Mommy!  Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going
stinkies!  Get up! Get up!'  He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I
could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my
door.

'Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy?  You wooking under da door? What
were you wooking at?  Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?'

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the
situation.

'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out
now, Mommy.' He started pounding on the door.  'Mommy, don't you
want to
wash your hands? I want to go out!!'

I saw that my wait'em out plan was unraveling.

I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies
crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.  My first
thought was complete embarrassment, then I  thought, where's the fine
print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin
while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought,
I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.



(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with
her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public
restrooms.)


You must pass this on to all the mothers who have had embarrassing
moments with their children.
  Isn't it great to be a parent! Or a grandparent?