Every Day Light

[Judy Harder]

September 3

Do Your Emotions Take Over?
For reading & meditation - Psalm 103:1-22
"... the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon those who fear him ..." (v. 17, RSV)

We continue exploring ways in which we can become strong at the broken places caused by deep and disturbing doubts. Another point we should keep in mind in relation to this question of doubt is that some doubts are rooted more in the emotions than in the intellect. Our emotions are an important part of our being, and they can do much to make our lives either miserable or meaningful. When emotions take over, they cause our thinking to waver, so that we can come to faulty conclusions about life. Ask yourself this question now: am I a person who is ruled more by my emotions than by my intellect? If you are, then it is likely that your doubts are rooted more in your feelings than in your mind. Many years ago, a Christian university student came to me complaining that he had serious doubts about the inspiration and reliability of Scripture. As I counseled him, I heard the Spirit say, "This is not an intellectual doubt, but an emotional one." I explored with him the area of his feelings, and he confessed to me that he could never remember a time in his life when he ever felt that he was loved. When the emotional problem was resolved, his doubts vanished of their own accord. His problem was not intellectual, but emotional. Reason and emotion are both important in life, but decisions, especially decisions about the Christian life, must be built not on what we feel to be true but on what we know to be true.
Prayer:

My Father and my God, help me trace my problem to its roots and meet me at the point of my deepest need. This I ask in Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
Job 1-3
1. What were some of the feelings Job expressed?
2. Did he allow them to give rise to doubt?

[Judy Harder]

September 4

Thomas, the Doer
For reading & meditation - Acts 1:6-14
"... you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses ... to the ends of the earth." (v.

Recognize that if you could not doubt, you could not believe. So don't be threatened or intimidated by your doubts. Robert Browning put it like this: "You call for faith: I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists. The more of doubt, the stronger faith, I say, if faith o'ercomes doubt." Those who doubt most, and yet strive to overcome their doubts, turn out to be some of Christ's strongest disciples. One commentator points out that Thomas, being a twin, must have developed an early independence of judgment that made it possible for him to break with his brother and become a follower of Jesus. This is an assumption, of course, but I think it is a valid one. It was that independence, perhaps, that led him to reject the testimony of the other disciples when they said, "We have seen the Lord." Jesus did not reject Thomas because of his doubts, but said to him: "Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe" (John 20:27). Suddenly his doubts vanished, and he was transformed in that moment into one of Christ's most committed disciples. Up until then, no one had called Jesus "God " They had called Him, "Messiah," "Son of God," "Son of the Living God" - but not "God." Here Thomas the doubter leaped beyond the others, and became the strongest believer of them all. And this faith of Thomas?s did not stop at faith - it resulted in mighty achievement. The doubter became a doer. And how!

Prayer: O God, what a prospect - my faith, at first so tentative, can, through Your illumination and my response, become a driving force. It can not only save me, but send me. May there be no limits! Amen.

For Further Study
Matt. 8:1-13; Rom. 10:17; 14:23; Heb. 11:1
1. Where does faith come from?
2. What did Jesus say to the centurion?

[Judy Harder]

September 6

Our Three Primary Needs
For reading & meditation - Colossians 2:1-10
"... in Him you have been made complete ..." (v. 10, NASB)

The first principle we must learn if we are to recover from the brokenness caused by troubles in the home is: Depend on God, and not on anyone else, to meet the deepest needs of your personality. Allow this truth to take hold of your innermost being and you will become a transformed person. The most basic needs of our personality are these: (1) the need to be loved unconditionally (security); (2) the need to be valued (self-worth), and (3) the need to make a meaningful contribution to God's world (significance). Human beings can only function effectively to the degree that these needs are met. If they are unsatisfied, our ability to function as a person is greatly hindered; if they are adequately met, then, other things being equal, we have the potential of functioning effectively. Notice, however, this important point - our needs for security, significance, and self-worth can be fully met only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. If we do not let Christ meet those needs, then because they have to be met in order for us to function effectively, we will attempt to get them met in and through others. Although many do not realize it, this is what draws many people toward marriage, because they see the possibility of having their needs met through their partner. But no human being, however loving, kind, and considerate they may be, can fully meet these needs. I say again: they can be met fully only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Prayer:

Father, I sense that I am on the verge of something big and challenging. Help me to grasp this, for I sense that if I do, I shall become a transformed person. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
Eph. 1; 2
1.Where is Christ?
2. Where are we?

[Judy Harder]

September 5

Danger in the Home
For reading & meditation - Matthew 11:25-30
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me ... and you will find rest ..." (v. 29)

Another area of life where many are broken is through troubles in the home. "Life " as Hemingway put it, "breaks us all " but perhaps nothing is quite as painful as being broken by difficulties in one's home. Have you been broken by problems within your family circle? Then take heart - out of the brokenness God can bring strength. What kind of troubles bring us to a breaking point in the home? These are just some of them: incompatibility, disagreements, separation, threats or the action of divorce, insensitivity, bickering, quarrels, misunderstandings and violence, not to mention such things as alcoholism, drug abuse, mental and emotional breakdowns, child and adolescent rebellion, or gross neglect of the aged members of the family. Even in some Christian homes, things can get pretty desperate. A study completed at the University of Rhode Island described the American home as the most dangerous place to be - apart from a war or a riot. It's also getting like this in Britain. All of us have experienced some hurt through broken relationships in the home. Many, out of loyalty to their families, face the world with a smile, but inwardly they are bleeding. I know a woman who was heartbroken by her husband?s adultery and the rebellion of her children, but today she has recovered and is busy staunching the bleeding wounds in other people's hearts. So it can be done. To those of you broken by troubles in the home, our Lord says, "Learn from Me: I will make you so strong at the broken places of your life that you shall minister to others out of that hidden strength."
Prayer:

O God, You know how easy it is to blunder in this delicate and difficult business of relationships. I need someone to lead me in the right way. You lead me, Father - I will follow. Amen.

For Further Study
Pss. 46:1-11; 147:3; Luke 4:18; Matt. 12:20
1. What did God say to the psalmist in the midst of upheaval?
2. What does God promise the brokenhearted?

[Judy Harder]

September 7

Are You a Manipulator?
For reading & meditation - John 15:9-17
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." (v. 12)

Yesterday we touched on what is perhaps the biggest single problem causing marital unhappiness - trying to get one's partner to meet needs that can only be fully met through a relationship with Jesus Christ. What happens if we do not allow God to meet our basic needs? We will try to get those needs met in some other way. Some people try to find satisfaction in achievement. This, however, fails to bring lasting satisfaction, and whenever their inner discomfort reaches the threshold of awareness, they anesthetize it with more activities, achievement, and work. Another way is to attempt to get these needs met in marriage. But if we enter marriage as a way of getting our needs met, then we consciously or unconsciously become involved in manipulating our partner to meet our needs. Instead of following the Christian vision of marriage, which is to minister to our partners from a position of security in Christ's love, we begin to manipulate them to meet our needs. Thousands of marriages, perhaps millions, are caught up in this treadmill - each trying to get their partner to meet the needs that only God can fully meet. The best way to get our needs met is to depend on God to meet them. When we lock into Him and focus on how much He loves and values us, and on His purpose for our lives, then and only then are we free to minister in the way He prescribes in His Word. Without that inner security, we become exposed and vulnerable to the likes or dislikes of our partner. We become puppets - not people.

Prayer: O my Lord and Master, take me in Your arms today and make me so conscious of Your love that I will no longer manipulate others to love me, but will minister to them with the love I already have. For Jesus' sake I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
1 Cor. 13; Rom. 5:8; 8:35; 1 John 3:16
1. List fifteen qualities of love.
2. Is their emphasis on giving or getting?

[Judy Harder]

September 8

Making God More Meaningful
For reading & meditation - 1 John 4:7-21
"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (v. 12)

We have been seeing over the past two days that the first principle to follow in healing the brokenness that comes through troubles in the home is to depend on the Lord to meet our basic needs. You might ask yourself: if the Lord can meet my needs for security, self-worth, and significance, why do I need a human partner at all? The answer to that question flows out of the next principle: In the relationship with your partner or your children, focus more on what you can give than what you can get. This can be exceedingly difficult, of course, if you are not allowing God to meet your needs, but once you are secure in Him, everything He asks you to do becomes possible. Assuming our needs for security, significance, and self-worth are being met in God, we are then in a position to fulfil God's true purpose for marriage, which is this: God, who is an invisible, intangible, eternal Being, has designed marriage to be a visible, tangible demonstration of the reality of His love as we minister love and consideration to one another. Just think of it - in marriage we have the marvelous privilege of demonstrating God's love to our partners in a way that they can feel, touch, and understand. Our love will not add to the fact of their security in Christ, but it will add to the degree to which they feel it. No wonder Martin Luther said that marriage was the greatest way God had of teaching us the truths about Himself. And the second greatest way? You've got it! The church!
Prayer:

Father, to realize that I have the privilege of bringing the reality of Your love to others, and thus making You more real to them, is so incredible that it almost blows my mind! But I know it is true. Make me worthy of this privilege. For Jesus' sake. Amen
For Further Study
Matt. 10: 1-8; Luke 6:38; Prov. 11:25; Acts 20:35; 2 Cor. 9:6

1. What did Jesus teach His disciples?
2. How can you demonstrate this today?

[Judy Harder]

September 9

Accepting Your Partner
For reading & meditation - John 13:12-20
"... whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me ..." (v. 20)

The third principle for healing the brokenness that arises from troubles in the home only works if the previous two are clearly established: Accept your partner or your children, and don't just endure them. Too difficult? Look again at the verse at the top of this page, where we are instructed to accept each other just as God accepts us. And remember that when we supply the willingness, God supplies the power. There is quite a difference, of course, between accepting your partner and enjoying him or her; the former is a scriptural requirement, the latter is something that is dependent on their response and behavior. Marriage sometimes involves living with an irritating, infuriating, and obnoxious person: how can we accept such a person, let alone enjoy him or her? Acceptance does not mean that we have to enjoy everything our partner does: it means rather that we see our partner as someone to whom God wants us to minister, and we pursue that ministry whether we feel like it or not. Many Christians stumble over this. A lady who recently came through to victory on this point said to me, "But how can I accept my husband, who is nothing more than a loathsome, alcoholic pig?" I said, "It's impossible as long as you are depending on your husband to meet your need for security. Depend on God to meet that need, and then see what happens." She did so, and found that when she no longer depended on her husband to meet her security needs. she saw him in a completely new light. Then she had no difficulty in accepting him.
Prayer:

O God, this sounds too good to be true. Can life?s difficulties be resolved so easily? Give me the courage not to dismiss anything until I've tried it, nor resist any principle that is in harmony with Your Word. Amen.

For Further Study
Eph. 5:21-33; 1:6; Rom. 15:7
1. How should the husband show his acceptance of his wife?
2. How should the wife show her acceptance of her husband?

[Judy Harder]

September 10

A Check-Up for Husbands
For reading & meditation - Ephesians 5:22-33
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church ..." (v. 25)

Over the next two days I want to establish two final principles for dealing with troubles in the home: one for the husbands and one for the wives. Today we begin with the men: Be prepared to give yourself a spiritual check-up on how you are doing as a husband. Cross out whichever answer does not apply. 1. Do you still "court" your wife with an unexpected gift of flowers or chocolates? (Anniversaries and birthdays not to be included) (YES/NO) 2. Are you careful never to criticize her in front of others? (YES/NO) 3. Do you make an effort to understand her varying feminine moods and help her through them? (YES/NO) 4. Do you depend on your wife to meet your basic personal needs? (YES/NO) 5. Do you pray together? (YES/NO) 6. Do you share at least half your recreation time with your wife and family? (YES/NO) 7. Are you alert for opportunities to praise and compliment her? (YES/NO) 8. Do you go to church together? (YES/NO) 9. Is she first in your life - after the Lord? (YES/NO) 10. Have you forgiven her for any hurts or problems she may have caused you? (YES/NO) A score of 7 to 10 yes responses - excellent! Below 7 yes answers - you've got some work ahead of you.
Prayer:

Father, You who have set us in families, help me to be the person You intend me to be, both in my marriage and in my home. This I ask in Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
Eccl. 9:1-9; Gen. 2:23-24; Col. 3:1-21; 1 Pet. 3:7
1. What does the word cleave (KJV) mean?
2. Why are our prayers often hindered?

[Judy Harder]

September 11

A Check-Up for Wives
For reading & meditation - 1 Peter 3:1-12
"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands ..." (v. 1)

Yesterday the men were asked to examine themselves using a simple questionnaire as to how they were doing as husbands. Today a similar opportunity is extended to wives. 1. Are you depending on the Lord to meet your basic needs for security, significance, and self-worth? (YES/NO) 2. Can you meet financial disasters bravely without condemning your husband for his mistakes, or comparing him unfavorably with others? (YES/NO) 3. Do you dress with an eye for your husband's likes and dislikes in color and style? (YES/NO) 4. Do you keep up your own personal prayer life so that you may meet everything that arises with poise? (YES/NO) 5. Do you avoid daydreaming or fantasizing about other men you might have married? (YES/NO) 6. Are you sensitive to your husband?s moods and feelings and know when, and when not, to bring up delicate issues? (YES/NO) 7. Do you respect your husband? (YES/NO) 8. Are you careful never to criticize your husband in front of others? (YES/NO) 9. Do you keep track of the day's news and what is happening in the world so that you can discuss these with your husband? (YES/NO) 10. Are you a "submissive" wife? (YES/NO) A score of 7 to 10 yes responses - excellent. Below 7 yes answers - it's decision time.
Prayer:

My heavenly Father, I realize the tender relationships of home can be a shrine, or they can be a snarl. Keep my inner shrine from all wrong attitudes and from all worry. Let me approach today's challenge in the knowledge that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13, NKJV). Amen.

For Further Study
Prov. 31:10-31; 1 Tim. 3:11; Esther 1:20
1. What are the characteristics of a virtuous woman?
2. What do her children call her?

[Judy Harder]

September 12


When Broken by Stress
For reading & meditation - Psalm 71:1-24
"You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again, up from the depths of the earth!" (v. 20, TLB)

Another major cause for brokenness in human life is stress. Often I get letters from people saying something like this: "I feel I am on the verge of a breakdown. No one thing seems to be responsible for it, but I just can't cope. My doctor says I am suffering from stress. Can the Bible meet this need?" I am bold to say that it can. God can take a person overcome by stress and build into their lives insights which will enable them to live above and beyond its paralyzing grip. What exactly is "stress"? One doctor defines it as "wear and tear on the personality which, if uncorrected, can result in a physical or mental breakdown." Donald Norfolk, a British osteopath who has made a special study of stress, claims that it comes from two main causes: too little change, or too much change. To function at peak efficiency, we all need a certain amount of change. However, when changes come too fast for us to cope with, the personality is put under tremendous stress. Dr. Thomas H. Holmes measures stress in terms of "units of change " For example, the death of a loved one measures 100 units, divorce 73 units, pregnancy 40 units, moving or altering a home 25 units, and Christmas 12 units. His conclusion is that no one can handle more than 300 units of stress in a twelve- month period without suffering physically or emotionally during the next two years. Holmes, of course, was speaking from a strictly human point of view - with God "all things are possible."
Prayer:

Father, You have taught me much on how to turn my weaknesses into strengths. Teach me now how to handle stress. I cannot change my surroundings - but I can change my attitude. Help me to do this. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

For Further Study
Luke 10:38-42; Phil. 4:6; Ps. 127:2; Matt. 6:25
1. What was Jesus' response to Martha?
2. How did it differ from His response to Mary?