Every Day Light

[Judy Harder]

July 15

Steps to friendship
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 18:1-24
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (v.24)

Everyone needs a small circle of friends - even those who are married. I feel deeply sorry for anyone who does not have a friend. If friendship is so important, how do we go about making friends? The first step is - be friendly. The King James Version of our text for today says: "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly." You should not, however, become friendly just in order to gain a friend. This is a wrong motive because you are more interested in gaining a friend than being a friend. Self-centeredness will get you nowhere. Friendliness is the art of going out of yourself and appreciating others more than you appreciate yourself. It is really an attitude. Dale Carnegie in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, a secular approach to the subject but full of good sense nevertheless, said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." The main reason why people have no friends is because they demonstrate an unfriendly attitude. To have a friend - be one. The second step is - allow time for friendships to develop. Force no doors open in friendship but, like Christ in the book of Revelation, stand reverently at the door - and knock. Only if the door is opened from within should you go through. Some relationships you have with people may never develop into close friendships. Don't be upset about that. If you are open and friendly, then God will guide you and show you where deep friendships are to be developed.
Prayer:

Father, help me be a friend who does the knocking before I enter instead of knocking down after I have left. And show me not only how to sympathize with my friends' weaknesses, but summon up their strength. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
Luke 7:36-50; Matt. 11:19; Luke 19:7
1. How did Jesus show friendliness?
2. How did others view it?

[Judy Harder]

July 16

When not a true friend
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 27:1-9
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted '" (v.6)

We continue looking at the steps we need to take in order to develop friendships. The third step is - be prepared to be hurt. No relationship is free from pain this side of eternity - so don't expect perfection in your friendships. If your goal in life is to stay safe, then don't get involved in developing friendships. Friendships demand that you leave your comfort zone and confront an unknown wilderness. There will be times when your words or actions are misunderstood, but stay with it when this happens. This is what friendship is all about - sticking closer than a brother. It is loving as you yourself are loved. Fourth - love your friend enough to confront him or her about anything you feel is not right. Ask yourself: Am I prepared to lose this friendship in the interest of truth? If not, then you haven't got a true friendship. You are in it for your own reasons, not God's. You are not a true friend. Where you see wrong, confront it, but do it lovingly, gently and firmly. That?s what friends are for - to help us see what we might otherwise be missing. Fifth - allow your friend to have other friends also. Don't suffocate your friend by demanding that he or she maintain just your friendship and no one else's. It is this attitude, more than any one thing, which is responsible for the death of friendships. Give your friend the freedom to move out into other relationships, make new contacts and see new people. You will desecrate a friendship if you try to dominate it.
Prayer:

O Father, deliver me from being a suffocator in my relationships. Help me to have such a secure relationship with You that I can risk losing a friend if it is in the interest of that which is right. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

For Further Study
John 15:1-17; 11:16; 13:1
1. What did Jesus call His disciples?
2. What was His command to them?

[Judy Harder]

July 17

No one has a double
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 27:10-16
"Do not forsake your friend '" (v.10)

Stay loyal and loving to your friends as far as you possibly can. I say "as far as you possibly can" because they may commit and continue in some sin - such as adultery - and this demands action by the church as described in Matthew 18. Discipline may have to be given and you have to be willing to be part of that by withdrawing from that friendship until repentance is demonstrated. Loyalty and love in this case would mean continuing in prayer for your friend - prayer, by the way, that may take hours, not minutes. The opposite of friendship is - isolation. And how much emotional damage is the result of that? "The world is so empty," said Goethe, "if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities, but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us and, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth an inhabited garden." God made us for relationships and it is His will and purpose that we cultivate a circle of friends. Every friend is different. No one has a double in friendship. The more we have, the richer we are. Dr. Lawrence Crabb says, "Every day we ought to move out from our base in the home and say to ourselves: Lord, help me reach out and touch someone deep in their being today, not for the rewards it brings me in terms of good feelings, but for the blessing I can be to them." Jesus lived and acted like this. Perhaps this is why they called Him "the Friend of sinners." He hated sin, but loved the sinner.
Prayer:

Father, one thing is clear - the wise are those who know how to make friends. Guide me in my future days so that in every relationship I may be able to apply some of the principles I have learned. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
1 John 1:1-7; Acts 2:42; Phil. 1:3
1. What did the early Church devote themselves to?
2. What is the basis of deep fellowship?

[Judy Harder]

July 18

Take another path
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 5:1-14
"Keep to a path far from her '" (v.

We look now at the seventh and final pillar of the seven pillars of wisdom - personal purity. This, too, is a major theme in Proverbs for throughout the book we come across statements that encourage us to be chaste, virtuous, self-disciplined and pure in our relationships, especially as they apply to the opposite sex. First, I want to deal with the subject of chastity, as Proverbs speaks particularly to this. We live in an age which scoffs at the biblical teaching which enjoins us to keep sexual intercourse until marriage. Some sections of the Church now accept "the new morality" which says that sexual relationships outside marriage are fine providing they are conducted in a loving and a non-manipulative relationship. I have no hesitation in condemning this, both as antibiblical and antirelationship. The passage before us today describes most clearly the destiny of sexual relationships outside marriage. They are seen as fundamentally destructive. The second half of the chapter is given over to a description of how fulfilling the sexual relationship can be within marriage. The emphasis of Proverbs at this point is to avoid putting yourself in a position where too great a strain is placed on the sex impulse. The words, "keep to a path from her," mean, "avoid an immoral woman as you would a plague." A man once went to the great preacher D. L. Moody with a tale of moral disaster and said, "Now, Mr. Moody, what would you have done if you had got into such a situation?" Moody replied, "Man, I would never have got into it." That's more than just common sense - that's wisdom!
Prayer:

O God, help me to help myself. Show me how not to subject myself to conditions that make a fall almost inevitable. For I cannot ask You to help me out of situations unless I help myself not to get into them. Amen.

For Further Study
Matt. 5:21-32; Deut. 5:18; Job 31:1
1. What did Jesus teach about chastity?
2. What covenant did Job make?

[Judy Harder]

July 19

Don't go on his ground
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 4:10-27
"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." (v.25)

We continue looking at the issue of sexual experience and its need to be kept within marriage. Some temptations cannot be avoided; some, however, can. Anatole France has a story in which God and the devil are talking of a beautiful young girl. God asks: "How dare you tempt such a lovely creature as that?" The devil replies: "Well, she came on to my ground." R. W. Everrood tells this story: A young man seeking his fortune was travelling across a desert when he came across an oasis at which a beautiful girl sat spinning on a loom. He asked for a drink and she said, "Certainly, providing you let me put these threads around you that I am spinning." He agreed, thinking he could easily brush away the thin gossamer threads as one would brush away a spider's web. After drinking the water, he fell asleep and awoke to find himself tied by thick, strong cords. And what was more, the beautiful young girl had changed into a disgusting and ugly hag. The best way to deal with temptation is not to go toward it. Paul's advice to young Timothy was this: "Flee from all this" (1 Tim. 6:11). John Ruskin says: "No one can honestly ask to be delivered from temptation unless he has honestly and firmly determined to do the best he can to keep out of it." My advice to every unmarried man and woman reading these lines - and married people, too - is this: Keep out of the devil's territory. Don't go on to his ground.
Prayer:

O God, make me alert to the dangers that beset my path and when I move toward them unsuspectingly, grant that all the warning bells may ring within my heart. I know You will do Your part; help me do mine. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
1 Thess. 4:1-12; Heb. 13:4; Eph. 5:1-5
1. What instructions did Paul give concerning God's will?
2. What did Paul mean by "not even a hint"?

[Judy Harder]

July 20


Take it on faith!
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 6:16-26
"My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother?s teaching." (v.20)

The real truth about sex and sexual satisfaction is difficult to see or understand outside of marriage. Many young people say to me: "Why all these negatives in the Bible concerning sex before marriage? Isn't sex a beautiful thing?" I say to them: God doesn't give His prohibitions because sex is a bad thing; they are there to protect us from doing the good and beautiful thing in the wrong context. Within marriage, sexual activity is the doing of the right thing in the right place. It is only when you are within marriage that you begin to see the point and purpose of all those do's and don'ts. Christians are people, or should be people, who take God on trust. There's not much point in confessing to be a follower of Christ if you don't believe what He tells you in His Word and change it to suit your convenience. Passion has always been a problem, but wisdom and passion must be properly related. You must become acquainted with the principle of deferred pleasure which is one of the first evidences that you are becoming a mature person. An infant desires immediate gratification and will cry and howl until he gets what he wants. When he grows older, and becomes more mature, then the desire for gratification is brought under control. The concept of deferred satisfaction is a vital one for every young person to get hold of, for without it there can be no real maturity. You must learn to deny yourself now in order to experience the right thing in the right way in the future.
Prayer:

Father, You will have to take me by the hand lest I be lost in the jungle of immediate satisfaction. If I get off the track here, I will find myself in a jungle that gets more and more tangled every moment. Help me and hold me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
2 Pet. 3:1-14; Psa. 24:3-4; Matt. 5:8
1. What are we to make every effort to do?
2. Who can enter into the holy place?

[Judy Harder]

July 21

Prepare!
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 6:1-11
"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!" (v.6)


We continue looking at the vital principle of deferred satisfaction. We see this in the animal kingdom and it is brought out in the text that is before us today. The ant doesn't spend all its time eating. It runs back and forth carrying food into the nest so that it may survive the winter when there will be no food. Keep this picture of the ant continually in your mind. It is one of those images put into the Word of God to bring instruction to the heart. If you are young, prepare for the future in every way you can, not only by denying yourself to the things that God puts out of bounds, but also by giving yourself to the things you need to know about your chosen profession. Whatever you plan to do in life - prepare for it. Prepare by study and also by prayer. Whatever your age, whenever you have to do anything in public, like speaking at a church meeting - prepare. Deny yourself pleasures, like watching television, and give yourself to the task in hand. There are no short cuts to success. I prepared myself for years by filling my heart and mind with the Word of God, and then, when the time came, God called me to launch these Bible notes that you are now perusing. People say to me, "How can you continue to write year after year?" I know I would not be able to do so had I not, many years ago, denied myself many things so that I could prepare. Whatever God asks you to do, don't take His blessings for granted - prepare.
Prayer:

Father, Your knife cuts deep but Your cuts are always redemptive. Forgive me for taking so much for granted and for not giving myself to the task to which You have called me. Help me be a prepared person. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
Matt. 16:21-28; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23
1. What did Jesus say to His disciples?
2. Are there areas of your life in which you need to deny yourself?

[Judy Harder]

July 22

Giving all to God
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 8:1-11
"Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold." (v.10)

Christians who struggle with the concept of deferred satisfaction ought to consider the contestants who prepare for such things as sports competitions - especially the Olympic Games. Young men and women push themselves almost beyond endurance in order to gain a prize for themselves, their club or their country. I know that all the groaning and gasping that goes on as they train is not unmitigated pleasure. Why are they doing it? They are demonstrating the principle of deferred satisfaction. They are willing to ensure suffering now in order to win in the future. The pressure, the denial of legitimate pleasures, the strong self-discipline, the rigorous training, are all outweighed by the hope of winning. The idea of deferred satisfaction is not a uniquely Christian idea. It has been recognized by reflective people throughout history. Plato talks about it, and so does Socrates - and they lived more than two thousand years ago. Greek philosophy talks about the control of the passions by self-discipline and encourages the development of virtue by self-denial. Christianity teaches that God has come to this world in the person of His Son in order to set up a rescue mission to save us from an everlasting hell. We are saved, but not that we might sit back and indulge ourselves in the thought. We are saved to serve. If non-Christians can deny themselves present satisfaction for future gains and go to such lengths to win a prize, how much more ought we, who serve the risen Christ? Dare we stand by and watch them do for gold what we are not prepared to do for God?
Prayer:

Father, Your school is strict but the end is redemption. Your instructions, however hard and uncompromising, are in the end my salvation. Help me to see the end from the beginning and to use all my powers in reaching for the goal. Amen.

For Further Study
Luke 6:1-13; Matt. 10:1; 28:19; John 6:66
1. What is implicit in the calling to be a disciple?
2. Read through Proverbs and see how many times the word "discipline" is used.

[Judy Harder]

July 23

Sin Breaks God's Heart
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 6:27-35
"But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself." (v.32)

We have talked about chastity; let's talk now about faithfulness. Chastity is purity prior to marriage; faithfulness is virtue within marriage. God wants everyone who enters into marriage to be loyal and true. When we say that God is love, we are also saying that God is faithful, because love cannot be love unless it has faithfulness in it. Marriage is a covenant. A lot of people say, "It's just a piece of paper and fifteen minutes of someone's time." But hold on a minute. If life is based on relationships, then the only ethical relationship is love, and love is faithfulness, then the marriage covenant is the most precious thing in life. The thing that constantly comes out in both Old and New Testaments is the covenant aspect of love. And when you study the covenants of Scripture you will find this - that God keeps His covenants even though they are broken from the other side. The relationship between Jehovah and Israel is often pictured as that of a husband and a wife. Israel becomes the wayward, unfaithful wife who commits adultery. But God is still faithful to His covenant. God says, "I will never break my covenant. You can count on it. I am God." Young people don't want entangling relationships today. They want to be free to love. With all the conviction of my heart, I say to you that there is no such thing as "free love." only free exploitation. Love is commitment and when men and women indulge in fornication or adultery, they have not just broken God's laws; they have broken His heart.
Prayer:

O Father, in an age when anything goes, help me be an exhibition to the world around of what it means to be a follower of You. Help me keep all my relationships pure. For Your own dear Name's sake. Amen.

For Further Study
Mark 10:1-9; Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:25
1. What is the principle laid down for marriage?
2. How are husbands to love their wives?

[Judy Harder]

July 24


Conclusion
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 9:10-18
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." (v.10)

I hope that what I set out to do in this study of Proverbs has been accomplished - namely, that from now on and as much as possible, you will steal, drink, lie and swear. I mean, of course, that you will steal time out of your schedule to read continually from the book of Proverbs; that you will drink regularly from its clear refreshing waters; that you will lie on your bed at night and meditate on its great themes; and that you will swear by the grace of God to put its powerful principles into daily practice. If you consider that I have not touched on some aspect of Proverbs, then I have served you well. It will stimulate you to deeper and further study. The "seven pillars of wisdom" I have suggested, you must remember, are the dominant themes I see in Proverbs. Others will have different observations. Read them too - it will help you gain even more perspective. I am praying that these meditations will stimulate you to pursue that most glorious of all qualities - divine wisdom. But remember, do not seek wisdom for its own sake. Seek it that you might more effectively represent the Lord Jesus Christ. And beware of legalism, that soul-destroying attitude that takes pleasure in principles more than in the Person who is behind them - our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. If you still don't know Him, then bow your head this very moment, repent of every sin you have committed and quietly surrender your heart and life into His hands. Committing your way to God is the beginning of wisdom; continual trust in Him will see it develop and grow.
Prayer:

Father, grant me this wisdom, not that I might have an advantage over others, nor to fulfil selfish needs, nor even to advance my fortunes. I seek it that I might know You better, love You more and do Your perfect will. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
1 Kings 3:1-28; 4:29-34
1. What was Solomon's request?
2. What did God grant him?