Encouragement for Today

[Judy Harder]

July 17, 2009

Driving Tips for the Narrow Road

Glynnis Whitwer

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14 (NIV)

Devotion:

I found myself leaning hard to the left from the passenger's seat of the car.  You know the type of nervous-passenger move when you are sure something bad is about to happen, and somehow you think you can stop it -- or at least move away from it.  Only nothing helps when your offspring is learning to drive.

I'm going through this learning process with my second child, and it's not getting any easier.  He still has to pry the car keys from my clutched fingers.  And yet I know he needs the practice, so into the big boat with wheels we go.  It's not that this son is a bad driver, it's just he has one very nerve-wracking tendency -- he drifts to the right.

Whether he's in the left, middle or right lane makes no difference.  He consistently drifts over the dotted line or too close to the curb.  As I try to help with my leaning, cringing and bracing for impact, I wonder when the lanes became so narrow.  They seem wider when I'm driving.  Now they are closing in on us as we barrel down the road.

The narrow road is breathtaking, in the very scariest sense of the word.  A wrong move brings the promise of unpleasant consequences.  I know -- I've crossed over the line before in my own life, and live with regrets.  And I wonder, as I ponder this concept, is it possible to stay on the narrow road?  Jesus clearly calls us to it in the book of Matthew.  We read in chapter 7, verses 13 and 14, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."   But can we do it?

Jesus believes so.  He knows the road to a faith-filled life isn't easy, but it can be found.  As I've thought about staying true to my faith in Christ, I realize that I've given my son some driving advice that applies to my own life:

Stay alert to who is around you.  Choosing the right friends is one of the top lessons I've learned about staying true to my faith.  It's amazing how a friend's suggestions or words can take you on a detour from where you want to be.  Yet the right words and encouragement can bring joy and peace.

Keep focused on the road ahead.  Knowing where I want to be spiritually is a big step in the right direction.  When I have a vision of what a follower of Jesus looks like, I'm better able to follow through.

Don't be overconfident.  Overconfidence in my own power and abilities is very dangerous.  Every time I think I've got a problem under control, I discover once again how much I need God.  However, living daily with my desperate need for a Savior keeps me on the right path. 

We've all been called to a different life as Christians.  We don't walk the same road the world walks, and at times it feels scary and uncomfortable.  Yet the good news is we've been given sisters and brothers in Christ to walk beside us and help keep us focused.  Although I may not ever relax when a beginning driver is in control of the car, I know I can relax because God is in control of my life.  Recognizing that, the narrow road isn't quite so intimidating. 
       
Dear Lord, You know how much I long to stay on the narrow road in my faith.  Yet I find myself drifting across the dotted line too many times.  I know I can't do this without You.  Please help me be the woman You have called me to be. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

P31 Woman magazine

Visit Glynnis Whitwer's blog for more encouragement today.
                                                                                   
6 Habits of Highly Effective Christians by Brian T. Anderson & Glynnis Whitwer

Do You Know Jesus?

Application Steps: 

Identify an area of your life that you know is crossing the line of where you want to be.  Make a decision to change one habit or activity this week that will keep you on the right path in that area of your life. 

Reflections: 

What are some common areas Christian women find themselves crossing over the line?

What are one or two habits women can establish to help them stay true to their faith?

Power Verses:

Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."  (NIV)

Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"  (NIV)

© 2009 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
~~

[Judy Harder]

July 20, 2009

The Wedding Ring

Marybeth Whalen

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband."

I Corinthians 7:34 (NIV)
     
Devotion:

While shopping for some nail polish remover, I stumbled upon a bottle of jewelry cleaner. As I picked it up and tossed it into my cart, I reflected on the days when I always kept jewelry cleaner so that I could keep my wedding ring sparkling and shiny. Somewhere in the rush of life, I stopped doing that, and it had been years since I polished up my very dirty, dingy diamond.

When I got home, I cracked open the new bottle and put my rings in to soak overnight. The next morning, I fished them out and used the little brush to scrub away any remaining dirt. As I slipped the rings on, I couldn't believe the difference! I knew my rings were dirty but I had no idea how sparkling the cleaner would make them. All day I kept looking down at my hand to admire the way the diamond reflected the light, brilliant and shiny instead of dirty and dingy.

God reminded me that my experience was a great illustration for how I have treated my marriage at times. Where once I worked hard to look nice for my husband, I often meet him after a long day in my pajamas--unshowered and unprepared to welcome him. Where once I took time to really listen to him, I let my thoughts wander when he talks, figuring I had heard it all before. Where once I looked forward to our time alone, I get in the car with a bored sigh, and a, "Where do you want to eat?" My shiny, sparkly, exciting marriage that I couldn't wait for had turned into a dirty, dingy drudgery that I forgot to take care of.

As I admired my diamond that day, I thought of ways I could "clean" my marriage, restoring it to the brilliance that God desired for us:

Taking time to at least brush my hair and put some gloss on my lips before I saw my husband at the end of the day.
Committing to regular exercise and taking care of myself, so I would feel better and look better.
Treating him respectfully and watching both my words and my tone to him.
Apologizing when I blow it and humbly seeking his forgiveness.
Investing regular, consistent time into us by making the effort to plan date nights and secure a sitter.
Really listening to him when he confides in me, not letting my thoughts wander to my to-do list.
Spending time with him without feeling like we have to talk all the time.
Respecting the differences in each of us, instead of fighting against them.

Of course I don't do these things perfectly every day, but I do have a renewed vision for what my marriage needs. Just like my diamond needed to be restored after neglect, so did my marriage. I can't become complacent or despondent about this most important relationship. I have to strip off the buildup of stress and busyness, scrub away any resentment or distance. When I do that, God has shown me that He will restore my marriage to its original brilliance and sparkle, reminding us both why we said "I do" all those years ago.
                                                                                                                                                                         
Dear Lord, it's so easy to let life and busyness keep me from giving my marriage the attention it needs. Help me to love my husband the way You do and to seek You for inspiration and insight. Help me to be intentional about working on my marriage instead of just drifting through it. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Join us for more Everyday Life encouragement

Love Notes on His Pillow: And Other Everyday Ways to Keep Your Love Alive by Linda Gilden

Learning To Live Financially Free by Marybeth and Curt Whalen

Visit Marybeth's blog and resource page

Application Steps: 

If you are married, clean your diamond today. If you don't have any cleaner, go and get some! (It's near the fingernail polish remover.) If you are not married but hope to be, spend time praying to have God's heart for your husband and for a marriage that will stay sparkling and shiny long after you say "I do."

Reflections: 

What is one thing that you can do today for your marriage? Don't do it because your husband "deserves" it. Do it because it honors God.

Power Verses:

Proverbs 21:9, "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (NIV) 

I Peter 3:6, "Like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." (NIV)

© 2009 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
`

[Judy Harder]

July 21, 2009

Spiking a Temp

Karen Ehman

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:15-16 (NIV)
         
Devotion:

Lawn chair? Check! Extra blanket? Check! Team roster? Check? Piping hot drink to ward of any chill? Check!

It was one of my favorite events of the year; opening day for my son's travel baseball team. On that early spring day, I'd gathered all the components for a picture perfect time and headed up to our town's ball fields. I unloaded my car and made my way to the sidelines. Now all I had to do was sit back and watch my son throw strikes and hit balls while I hollered and cheered for the red and black Redwings.

After about half an inning, I sensed something was missing. I ran through my checklist again in my mind. It was then that it hit me--my drink! I'd left it in the car. I waited for the third out and then quickly trekked back to the parking lot to get my drink and return so as not to miss any of the action.

When I got back to my lawn chair, I settled in and took a sip from my cup. Now, this wasn't just a cup of black coffee. Since it was opening day, I'd sprung for a treat. I'd ordered my current favorite: a tall, decaf, skinny, sugar-free mocha with a shot of sugar-free hazelnut, light whip, and no garnish. How I'd looked forward to sipping on that hot specialty latte! Only now it wasn't hot. It was lukewarm. And, it wasn't very appetizing. In fact, it tasted awful. When it was hot, it was delicious. Why, even when it was cold, served over ice during a sunny, scorching July baseball game, it was wonderfully refreshing. Now, in its subdued temperature, it was just plain awful.

Sometimes we are just like that ho-hum drink. We lack an extreme temperature. We are complacent, idle and ineffective. Today's verse tells us that God had the very same problem with the church in Laodicea. Because they were neither hot nor cold, but had turned a disappointing temperature of lukewarm, he was ready to be rid of them. While there are differing views of the interpretation of the temperatures hot and cold, Jesus words are simple and clear. "I wish you were either one or the other!" In biblical times cold water was good. It was refreshing. And hot water was good. It could be healing, as in a steaming hot bath. There was, however, little need for lukewarm.

May we see today's verse as a challenge. Knowing God has no need for lukewarm, may we seek to be those who offer refreshment and healing to a dying world. May our thoughts and actions not earn us the label of indifferent or ho-hum. After all, the God of the universe is on the sidelines watching us in the great game of life. May we please Him with our heart's desires and our deeds done only in order to glorify Him!
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, teach me to be intentional in my spiritual life and not complacent. May my words, thoughts, deeds and actions please You and not be considered lukewarm. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Jesus?

Fresh Grounded Faith: Devotions to Awaken Your Spirit by Jennifer Rothschild

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

For more on this topic and to take the spiritual temperature test, visit Karen's blog

Application Steps:

What spiritual disciplines can help me avoid becoming lukewarm? Prayer? Scripture memory? Concentrated Bible study? A personal retreat to be alone with God?

Plan now to make time for some of these disciplines in your everyday life. See if a friend would like to journey with you in this venture.

Reflections: 

When in my spiritual life have I felt I was really on fire for God? If that fire died down, what happened?

How do I feel when I am living a lukewarm life? How does it affect my attitudes and relationships?

Power Verses:

I Peter 4:11, "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." (NIV)

© 2009 by Karen Ehman. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
`

[Judy Harder]

July 22, 2009

A Place of Thus Far

Wendy Pope

"Then King David went in and sat before the LORD and said, 'Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?'"  2 Samuel 7:18 (ESV)

Devotion:

Have you been in a place of "thus far?" A place where you find yourself in the constant misting of God's blessing and favor on your life.  Not blessings and favor by the world's standards of materialism and wealth, but by the Lord's standard of provision, protection, providence, and peace that come from walking with the Lord on a daily basis. 

You arrive at the place by faith, following the Lord's leading and trusting His ways, not your own.  One day, as you meet with the Lord, like David, you sit and take summary of all the Lord has done for you.  With compulsory praise and complete humility you say to the Lord, "Who am I that you have brought me thus far?"

Oh the places David had seen in his lifetime! From the grassy meadows, to the splendor of palace life, a drafty cave, back to the throne itself.  Yes, King David had arrived at a place of "thus far" in his life. He had experienced every emotion that exists, from confidence to fear, love to hate, and sadness to joy. After all that King David had been through I can certainly understand why he needed to go sit before the LORD and ask, "Who am I?"

He was overwhelmed at the goodness of God and the faithfulness he had experienced. He had been through some of the toughest situations a person could go through, yet because He remained faithful God was allowing David to receive his just reward. I have to think the reward of kingship and royalty paled in comparison to knowing the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Have you been there? Life has taken twists, turns, and changes at every bend, yet somehow for a season you have arrived at a place to receive abundant blessings from the Lord. You realize your place of thus pales in comparison to knowing and experiencing the goodness and faithfulness of God.

No matter what current circumstances you find yourself in, with our Living God there is always a place of "thus far" awaiting around the next bend. This is a place of celebration, praise, complete humility and gratitude before the Lord. I have discovered the hardships we go through are all worthwhile when we get to our place of "thus far."  In compulsory praise, with a humbled heart, we can pour our blessings back out to the Lord in praise and cry, "Who I am Lord, that you have brought me thus far?"

Dear Lord, forgive me when I fail to sit and take summary of Your tremendous favor in my life.  The misting of blessings and favor are far superior to anything this world can afford me.  Help me to remember my place of "thus far" when Your plan for my life leads me to another season that may be risky and cause me to walk by faith and not by sight.  I offer this praise of thanksgiving to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

Living Free in Christ-CD by Wendy Pope

i am not, but I know I am, by Louie Giglio

Visit Wendy's blog and resource page

Application Steps: 

Find a place to sit quietly with the Lord.  Take summary of His blessing and favor on your life.  Write down all the Lord brings to mind.  Read the list back to Him as a song of praise.

Reflections: 

Is there anything in my life preventing me from entering the place of "thus far" the Lord has for me?

How can I use my time while in a place of "thus far" to be a blessing or encouragement to others?

Power Verses:

Psalm 52:9, "I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints." (NIV)

Psalm 63:4, "I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands." (NIV)

© 2009 by Wendy Pope. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
'

[Judy Harder]

July 23, 2009

Temptation

Lysa TerKeurst

"The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.  The law of God is on his heart; his feet do not slip."  Psalm 37:30-31 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

I think I've discovered one of the biggest tricks Satan plays on us girls to get us to give into temptation.

"It's not fair."  It's not fair that others seem permitted to have this, do this, act this way. 

It's not fair that God won't let us eat of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden...  one little bite wouldn't be so bad, right? 

It's not fair I can't buy that new thing I really want... just a little debt wouldn't be so bad, right?

It's not fair that I have this body that I have to watch everything I eat when that girl eats junk and stays a size 4... one piece of cheesecake wouldn't be so bad, right?

It's not fair that we can't have sex before we're married when we're so in love... experimenting one time wouldn't be so bad, right?

Our flesh buys right into Satan's lie that it's not fair for things to be withheld from us.  So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write 'shame' across our heart.  Once you taste the forbidden fruit, you will crave it worse than you craved it before, giving temptation more and more power.  And given enough power, temptation will start to consume our thoughts, redirect our actions, and demand our worship.  Temptation doesn't take kindly to be starved.

I don't know what tempts you today.  But, I do personally know this vicious cycle and I'm here to give you hope it is possible to get past it.  Just typing that sentence gives me chills.  Just a couple of months ago, I wondered if that would ever be true for me.

I've been on a very strict eating plan since April.  Part of this plan is no sugar.  Which doesn't sound so bad until you realize sugar is in just about everything we enjoy eating.  Breads, pasta, potatoes, rice and not to mention all things bakery-licious.

It has been challenging at times that's for sure.  But while I was on vacation recently and watching others enjoys an abundance of treats, I started to have a little pity party and those words crept into my brain: "It's not fair." In that instant, I squirmed in my chair and thought, "I'll just take one little bite... maybe two... I've been so good... this is vacation... everyone else is indulging ... OH MY STARS WHAT ARE YOU DOING LYSA!" 

In that moment of extreme temptation, I realized me having a pity party was a clue I was relying on my own strength... a strength that has failed me before and would fail me again.  I had to grab hold of God's strength and the only way to do that was to invite His power into my situation. I mentally gave God control of the situation by reciting truths I'd been banking up in my heart.  "I'm more than a conqueror."  "Lead us not into temptation but DELIVER us from the evil one."  "The law of God is in his heart; his feet do not slip."

Soon, it was time to get up from the dinner table and walk back to our room.  And I've never felt so empowered in my life.  Had I said yes that first night of our vacation, there would have been more compromises in future meals. Compromise built upon compromise equals failure.  Instead, resisting temptation allowed promise upon promise to be built up in my heart, which equals Holy Spirit empowerment!

Like I said, I don't know what you might be struggling with today but I can assure you God is fair and just.  There is a reason we must face this.  The struggle may be painful in the moment but it is working out something magnificent within us.  As James 1 promises, "This testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, complete, not lacking anything."

Oh sweet sister, that is the cry of my soul.  My taste buds lie as they make empty claims to satisfy me.  Only persevering with God will make me truly full, complete, not lacking anything.  Press on sister.  Press on.

Dear Lord, help me to see my sacrifice in light of Your truth.  The truth is, this sacrifice is a necessary part of me seeking You - the only true fulfillment and satisfaction of my body, mind and soul.  Give me strength, Lord.  Remind me to rely on Your truth and Your Spirit to empower me moment by moment. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Click here to visit Lysa TerKeurst's blog for more Scriptures that will encourage you and empower you to find victory over whatever is tempting you. Lysa wants to hear your thoughts on this.  Dialog with her today through her blog.

Be one of the first to receive Lysa's new book!  Pre-order her newest release, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl.

What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps: 

Write some of the verses Lysa gives here and on her blog on 3x5 cards and carry them with you.  Recite them over and over when you face your temptation, and persevere in resisting.

Reflections: 

What does this statement mean to you personally: "Compromise built upon compromise equals failure.  But promise built upon promise equals success."

Power Verses:

Psalm 73: 26, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (NIV) 

James 1:15-16, "Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death.  Don't be deceived, my dear brothers."  (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
.

[Judy Harder]

July 24, 2009

What Did You Do With What I Gave You?

Luann Prater

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40 (NIV)

Devotion:

"How can I make sure she doesn't become self-absorbed as she grows up?" a young mother asked me as we munched warm chocolate-chip cookies.

Our culture struggles with the "I wants."  When children receive "things without strings" they begin a life of self-centered discontentment. Adults, in an effort to find happiness, reach for whatever they don't have, thinking that thing must be what is missing. In the United States we often convince ourselves that our wants are really needs.

I had the privilege of joining my Proverbs 31 Ministries sisters on a trip to Ecuador to visit the Compassion International projects. We came face-to-face with real poverty, real needs and real happiness. Many moments will remain etched in my memory, but two stand out as a glaring disparity to life as we know it.

First, we visited a family with three children who live in a block home, tin roof, dirt floors and have only one bed. I asked the parents if they could have just one thing what would it be. They thought about it, discussed it, then said, "We have everything we need."

Wow!  Are there many in the U.S. who would say that? Furthermore, I wonder if the response in this country would be, "Only one thing?" They have the love of their family and more importantly the love of a God who fills their desires.

Second, I met Jonathan, a college student from a family of eight who is a Compassion International sponsored child. He is studying to become a math teacher. When asked why he chose that path he said, "The boys in my village drop out of school when they become freshmen so they can work and help support the family. I want them to know that if they continue on and learn math it can open many more doors in their work life. I also know that one day I will stand before God and He will ask me, 'What did you do with what I gave you?' I want to help change the reality in my own world."

Wow! This young man has been given an opportunity for a different life and now he gives back.

So, back to my conversation with my friend as we were eating cookies. My answer to this young mother was, "Go on mission trips, help the needy, sponsor a child and serve others." When we serve, the focus shifts from self to selfless. It is only then that the resemblance of Christ can be seen in our reflection.

How will we answer the question, "What did you do with what I gave you?"
       
Dear Lord, we are so blessed and yet we often live with impoverished hearts.  Fill us with the Spirit that encourages us to go, to serve and to bind up the brokenhearted. Empty us of self so Your reflection can shine to others. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Too Small to Ignore: Why the Least of These Matters Most by Dr. Wess Stafford

Sponsor a child in need through Compassion International 

Watch a brief story of our journey to Ecuador.

Visit with Luann on her blog and her radio show "Encouragement Café" website.

Application Steps: 

Give up eating one meal out a month and prayerfully consider sponsoring a child in need through Compassion International.

Reflections: 

What self-centered thing occupies my time? 

How can I increase my efforts of serving others?

Who around me needs God's love to flow through me and onto them?

Power Verses:

Mark 10:45, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)

Mark 12:30-31, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (NIV) 

© 2009 by Luann Prater. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

www.proverbs31.org
`
 

[Judy Harder]

July 27, 2009

Starting Fresh

T. Suzanne Eller

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone: a new life has begun." 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

Devotion:

It was a typical holiday scene. My mother hummed an off-key tune in the kitchen. My father lounged in his faded blue recliner, while my husband and brothers talked about the football game on TV. The younger children played cards, while the older kids talked about my daughter's recent acceptance into college.

As I viewed the scene, I stood still in my tracks. Wait! When did we become a "typical family"?

My past will never resemble a Hallmark card. My mother had her first baby at 15. She lost her footing as she tried to be a young mother and wife. She was physically and verbally abused by her young husband and fled at 20 to start over. Alone and pregnant--with me--mom met a good man and later they married. But the emotional baggage took its toll on that relationship, and later on our entire family. She often threatened suicide. She raged. She lashed out physically. She begged for forgiveness. If I let my guard down to love, the next day or the next week a new scene would unfold. My heart hardened at a tender age. 

Flash forward 25 years. I am no longer a child. I'm a woman with young adult children of my own. God has healed my heart.

As I stood in the living room I realized that I still viewed my family through the past. I had let go of the resentment, the anger, and I loved my mother and father, but I still saw my extended family as broken. In far too many ways our relationship was founded on that perception.

I stepped back and took a good long look. Who was my mom now? How had she grown? Did I recognize what God had performed in her life?

The answer was no, and I was not alone in this thinking. My siblings also wrestled with this. No matter what my mother did, no matter how much she had overcome, she still had a scarlet letter branded on her. She was marked "B" for broken.

My family had been "normal" longer than dysfunctional. I realized it was time to step into the present and leave the past behind.

That day I fully transitioned from child to adult. I reflected on what God can do in spite of a broken past. I rejoiced in what had taken place in the heart of my mother and our family. It didn't just change me, but it changed my mother and our relationship. Somehow she knew we had crossed a new threshold. The burden of guilt was eased as she looked into my eyes and realized I saw her fully as the woman she had become.

Several holidays have passed since that day. My mother still hums off-key. I still bring desert. But when I look at my family, I don't just see a family gathering, I see a portrait of God's grace. 

Dear Jesus, do I recognize the miracles You have done in my loved ones? Do I hold on to resentment even if that person has changed? Give me new eyes to see. Paint the picture fresh for me as I extend the mercy You so freely gave to me to one person in my life today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future by T. Suzanne Eller

Youniquely Woman: Becoming Who God Designed You to Be by Kay Arthur, Emilie Barnes, and Donna Otto

Visit Suzie's blog where she shares what to do when a dysfunctional loved one hasn't changed.  Make sure to check out her other resources here!

Application Steps: 

Refocus: Take the spotlight off your childhood and put it on to the present.


Be Realistic: Even normal families have conflict. There is no such thing as a perfect family.


Relent: Do you rehash bad family memories or bring up the past to punish a loved one? Are you willing to begin a new conversation?


Receive: Amends may be awkward and not what you think they should be. True grace is receiving a gesture with the same spirit with which it is offered.


Reflections: 

"If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming." ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Power Verses:

Matthew 9:13, "Then he added, 'Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.'" (NLT)

© 2009 by T. Suzanne Eller. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
``

[Judy Harder]

July 28, 2009

Women: Friend or Foe?

Rachel Olsen

"I'm a friend and companion of all who fear you, of those committed to living by your rules." Psalm 119:63 (MSG)   

Devotion:

Not long ago I would've told you that I don't much like women. I counted a few as friends, but the rest of the gender I dismissed categorically as too much trouble.  Never a "tomboy" by any stretch of the imagination, I just found guys so much easier to deal with.  They generally say what they mean, let you know where you stand, and never size you up to determine who has the better haircut. 

I didn't want to distrust women, but the majority of females in my life at the time evoked that response. They were catty, competitive, and conniving.  They gossiped, backstabbed and manipulated. I have to admit that I often responded in kind. Isn't it strange how addictive relational drama can be? 

I'm told you can put a frog in a pot of cold water on the stove and gradually turn up the heat, and it will stay in the pot until it reaches a fatal boil without attempting escape.  Evidently the frog doesn't realize how unhealthy the situation is slowly becoming. I can't vouch for the accuracy of that fable - I'd never boil a frog! - but I've been in a few friendships that were like that.  I stayed way too long in the pot before I realized this isn't healthy for me, and I got burned.

So what lead me to flip-flop my position on having girlfriends? First, I decided to follow Christ.  This sparked many beneficial changes in my mind and spirit.  Where I had been cynical and guarded, God's love penetrated and softened my heart.  I learned the meaning of Proverbs 18:24, "There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (RSV). Christ was now my forever friend who could be trusted completely.

I also made changes in my choice of girlfriends.  With the help of the Holy Spirit and lessons on character from the book of Proverbs, I learned to recognize which people and relational patterns were unhealthy for me. I  was ready to be rid of the drama! The Bible teaches, "He who walks with the wise grows wise" (Proverbs 13:20, NIV).  I wanted to walk with wise women through life.  Many of my current-at-the-time friendships ran their natural course and dissolved.  A few transformed along with me. But a few I deliberately phased out because my own character wasn't strong enough yet to remain Christ-like in their company.

Meanwhile, I prayed for quality friendships with women of faith. God heard my prayers, just as the Bible promises He does.  Fun-loving, God-loving, gracious women at my church sought me out and invited me out.  And I made the choice to trust them and invest.  I discovered how beneficial it is to surround yourself with women who inspire your walk with God.

Over time, God birthed in me a huge love and great compassion for women.  I began seeing them through His eyes and not just the lens of my own hurtful past.  I realized that not all women are like those I had known. I also learned to forgive and pray for those who've hurt me. Today I cherish my friendships with the women in my life.

What about you? How are your friendships? Do you find yourself entangled in an unhealthy relationship?  Are you in emotional hiding after being burned?  Maybe you've written off the entire gender because of the trouble you've seen.  Take that to God and ask Him to heal and bring restoration to your heart.  Ask Him to send godly, wise women into your life.  Then muster up the courage to respond and befriend them.

Neither gender is categorically a foe -- but I count myself happy to be sipping tea, playing Dominos, doing Bible study, shopping and sharing my dreams with sisters of the fairer sex.  Won't you join us?   

Dear Lord, I want to have good friends, and to be a good friend. Help me to develop godly friendships, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

I'll bring the Chocolate: Satisfying a Woman's Craving for Friendship and Faith by Karen Porter

A Life That Says Welcome, Simple Ways to Open Your Heart & Home to Others by Karen Ehman

Love Your Neighbor as Yourself by Mary Lance V. Sisk

Connect with Rachel today at her blog.

Application Steps: 

Study the book of Proverbs in the Bible and learn the traits of trustworthy character so you can develop them yourself and recognize them in others.

Is there someone you can befriend? Striking up a friendship can be a great way to introduce a gal to Christ.

Reflections: 

What is the current state of your friendships -- are they nurturing? Godly?

Are you open to making new friends? Why or why not?

Power Verses:

James 2:23, "And the scripture was fulfilled that says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,' and he was called God's friend." (NIV)

Proverbs 22:11, "If you love purity of heart and graciousness of speech, the king will be your friend." (GNT)

© 2009 by Rachel Olsen. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
`

[Judy Harder]

July 29, 2009

Nowhere to Hide

Tracie Miles

"God would surely have known it, for he knows the secrets of every heart."

Psalm 44:21 (NLT)

Devotion:

Recently my friend Amy was telling me that when her daughter Caroline was three years old, she believed that if she closed her eyes tightly, nobody could see her.  This especially came in handy when she wanted to hide. For example, when she had to eat her peas at dinner.  Since she did not like peas, she would sit very quietly at the table and squeeze her eyes tightly shut, assuming since she could no longer see her parents, they couldn't see her and therefore didn't know that she wasn't eating her peas! 

She tried to hide behind her eyelids, unaware that it was a completely futile effort!

While chuckling over this story, I thought about how we are often times so much like little Caroline. We think that we can keep our sins a secret, but the truth is, God sees all, and knows all. 

There are certain sins in our lives that we may feel are justified and therefore we are not worried about who "sees" them - such as gossip, anger, revenge, jealousy, slander, envy, impatience. We know in our hearts those are not behaviors that please God, but they don't seem to be the "big sins," so we continue doing them.

On the other hand, there may be truly secret sins that we don't want anyone to know about.  Sins that if made public, could result in serious negative consequences, broken relationships, personal problems, or embarrassment.  The only difference between secret sins and public sins is that they result in even more sinning as lies and deception take place to cover them up, giving Satan an even deeper stronghold on our hearts.

Regardless of whether we view our sins as big or small, public or secret - sin is sin, and God sees.  Although we may be able to keep secrets from others, we cannot keep secrets from God. He is omnipotent, meaning "all knowing," and there is nowhere to hide from God.

This acceptance that God knows everything can make us feel weak in the knees. Understanding that He sees all of our sinful thoughts and behaviors can even make us feel broken, worthless, ashamed and hopeless; however, that is not God's desire, but instead, the enemy's ultimate goal.

Satan wants us to feel broken and worthless because of our sin; God wants us to feel convicted to change.  Satan wants us to feel ashamed; God wants us to feel redeemed.  Satan wants us to feel hopeless; God wants us to see the grace and mercy that He offers.  In fact, although God despises our sin, He takes great joy when we recognize our sin, and seek His cleansing forgiveness.  He is pleased when we ask for His supernatural power to enter our hearts and help us overcome those private and public sins in our lives.  He is proud of us when He sees that we tremble at His Word, and recognize our need for His omnipotence.

Yes we are sinners, but God loves us unconditionally, and His forgiveness is infinite and always available.

Trying to hide our sins from God is as futile of an effort as Caroline trying to hide behind closed eyelids.  God desires that we open our eyes and see our sin through His eyes, repent in prayer, and thirst for healing forgiveness that only He can provide. 

Dear Lord, I praise you for loving me despite my sin, and for forgiving me time and time again. Thank You for dying on the cross so that I could have eternal life, even when I don't deserve it.  Please fill me with hope and strength to overcome, and continue to bless me with Your grace and mercy.  Help me to have a heart that longs to think and behave in ways that please You.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Jesus?

Confessions of a Good Christian Girl: The Secrets Women Keep and the Grace that Saves Them by Tammy Maltby

Reinventing Your Rainbow, by Tracie Miles

Visit Tracie's blog and resource page.

Application Steps: 

Have a heart to heart conversation with God today.

Reflections: 

If I were to consider what God sees me doing and thinking, would He be pleased with me?

Are there any sins that I have yet to confess to God, that are keeping me from being who God wants me to be?

Power Verses:

Romans 3:23-24, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." (NIV)

Jeremiah 23:24, "'Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?' declares the LORD. 'Do not I fill heaven and earth?' declares the LORD." (NIV)

Proverbs 15:3, "The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good." (NIV)

© 2009 by Tracie Miles. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
``

[Judy Harder]

July 30, 2009

Learning the Hard Way
Whitney Capps

"A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke." Proverbs 13:1 (NIV)

Devotion:

As of January, I am now the mother of three boys under four years of age. Our house is full of testosterone and a loud, unbridled enthusiasm for life.  This is most true of our middle son Dylan. He is wild and rambunctious - a boy through and through.

If you were to watch him enter a room, you would notice that he makes a mental list of every structure that he can scale, leap off of or turn over. He is as creative as he is fearless. It's a dangerous combination.

To make matters worse, he has an extremely high tolerance for pain. My husband Chad and I are regularly amazed at the bumps, scrapes and knots that do not elicit tears or pleas for comfort. He is remarkably tough. Or stubborn. I am not sure which.

Unfortunately, he has gotten more brazen in his attempts of late. He has noticed that I spend most of my day incapacitated with a nursing child in my arms as my primary responsibility. This has greatly slowed or halted my efforts to keep Dylan from his version of "extreme sports." If the mere warning from my voice was enough to stop my little acrobat, he'd be fine. However, my two-year old doesn't always listen the first time I say, "No."

So I have resigned myself to the fact that he is going to learn a few lessons the hard way. He is going to fall. He might even get hurt. I can't always be there to physically remove him from every obstacle he scales. I can't prevent every painful consequence of doing precisely what he chooses.

While I was praying for him the other night I asked God to make him more sensitive to my voice and to protect him when he ignores me and falls. I prayed for a gracious and forgiving attitude when he does need my comfort. In the quiet of my bedroom the Creator whispered, "I'm pretty good at that; that's how I often parent you."

I knew in an instant what God meant. I regularly dive head-first into a situation analyzing how I'll attack it. It's not long after God has chastened my heart that I move onto the next dangerous display of independence. If I would simply listen to His voice, I'd be fine. He has desired on many occasions to protect me from painful consequences, to protect me from myself. Instead I chose to learn the lessons the hard way. I wish I could say it only happened once or twice, but like my two year-old, I am remarkably tough, or stubborn. Neither is a good characteristic for a child.

I finished my prayer that night asking my Heavenly Father to forgive my toddler-like ways. I am trying to listen more carefully to His voice. I want to respond immediately. I am sure to encounter fewer bumps and bruises along the way. More importantly, I am sure to enjoy the smile and warm embrace of my all-gracious Father.

Dear Lord, thank You that You are patient and kind with me in my follies. Help me heed Your warnings the first time. It is good to rest assured that You guard me, smiling on Your daughter as You watch my steps.  Thank You that You discipline me because of Your great love.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Messy Faith: Daring to Live By Grace by A.J. Gregory
Real Moms...Real Jesus: Meet the Friend Who Understands by Jill Savage
God's Purpose for Every Woman -- A P31 Devotional, Written by various P31 authors. General Editors Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen
Visit with Whitney on her blog today.
Application Steps: 

Look for ways to extend grace to others who are suffering the consequences of their own poor choices.

Reflections: 

What painful circumstances have you endured because you didn't heed the Father's voice?

In what ways are you testing the Father?

Power Verses:

Deuteronomy 8:5, "Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you." (NIV)

Hebrews 12:5-6, "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: 'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.'" (NIV)

Numbers 6:24-25, "God bless you and keep you, God smile on you and gift you..." (MSG)

© 2009 by Whitney Capps. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org
``