Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

A Balanced Life Part 2
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
She (Martha) had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying (Luke 10:39).

Friend to Friend
A balanced life is focused on right things. Focus is always found at the feet of Jesus. Mary lived out this truth.  In fact, Mary, more than any other person in the New Testament is associated with sitting at the feet of Jesus.

What does it mean to "sit at the feet of Jesus"?  We must first stop. Now that is a novel idea for most women. Mary stopped what she was doing - helping Martha in the kitchen - and came to sit at the feet of Jesus. Of course, Martha immediately began complaining that she had been left to do all the work while her sister wasted time sitting at the feet of Jesus.  I have discovered there will always be someone who will misunderstand or complain when you choose to do what Jesus told Martha was "the better part."

Luke 10: 40-42 "But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.'"

Mary made a choice and so must we. Choosing to sit at the feet of Jesus requires decisive planning, purposeful scheduling and a willful determination. Every day, God wants relationship building time with us, which means that time at His feet, in His presence must be our highest priority. Jesus gently rebuked Martha because she had forgotten what was really important.

It is amazing to me how I can squander away the best part of my day, leaving Him with the leftover scraps of time and then have the audacity to complain that my life is void of power and purpose. Distractions come from every side. Some of those distractions are good and wonderful things, but they are all still wrong things if they keep us from stopping to spend time with God.

Every day, we choose where to invest our time. We plan everything from committee meetings and church activities to lunch appointments and choir practice - but fail to schedule the most important activity of all, spending time with God. Are you desperate for the peace and balance only He can bring? Then it's time to stop, take inventory of the demands upon your time and begin investing the best part of everyday sitting at His feet. Being wrapped up in God's work can easily become a shabby substitute for being wrapped up in His presence. And we can only be wrapped up in God's presence when we learn to wait on Him.

I absolutely hate to wait, on anyone or for anything. Waiting robs me of control and forces me to face the unknown. But waiting on God brings priorities into a right focus and releases the catalyst that may very well change my life course. Waiting is not a passive use of time.  Waiting is active spiritual obedience.  In each waiting room of life, He is at work preparing me for the circumstance and the circumstance for me. Psalm 5:3 (NLT) "Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly." From those still, quiet moments of waiting and seeking comes a balance and focus that takes root and grows. It is through the choice to wait on God that the seeking heart – the expectant heart finds every need met.

We not only must stop and be still in order to sit at the feet of Jesus, we must learn to listen. Time spent seeking God and listening for His voice is vital. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (NIV) "Now choose life...listen to his voice, and hold fast to him."

Countless voices clamor for our attention. The key to a balanced life is training our hearts toward God and teaching our spiritual ears to listen for His voice above all others. I taught third grade for several years while my husband attended seminary.  My class was one of seven third grade classes, which meant that the first few days of school were chaotic. The PE teacher was a welcome sight when she appeared at my door to take the students outside. It was the responsibility of each teacher to pick up her students when PE was over. Seven teachers trying to get the attention of over two hundred students was especially interesting on the first or second day of school when the teachers didn't know their students and the third graders didn't know their teacher. However, after only a few days, an amazing thing happened every year.  When the teachers lined up, it took only a word or two for the students to come running. They quickly learned to recognize the voice of their new teacher above all the rest because they listened to her voice all day long.       

The voice of God comes to us in many ways but every voice must be held up and measured against His main voice, the Word of God. To sit at the feet of Jesus, we must learn to stop, be still, and listen for His voice and then rest. Rest will not come until we have heard His truth.  However, when we have learned and applied the truth of God we can then rest in Him and our world falls into perfect balance.  Resting in Him requires trust.

When our son, Jered, was seven years old, he fell while skateboarding, cut his chin and needed stitches. We raced to the nearest emergency clinic where we met a young doctor, who at first glance, seemed friendly enough. Jered, however, took one look at the strange doctor and panicked. It was his first experience with stitches. After several attempts to gain Jered's trust and cooperation, the doctor grew impatient and said, "Son, this won't hurt.  If you cannot be still we will have to put you in restraints." Now I had two major problems with those statements.  First of all, there were not going to be any restraints placed on my son. And secondly, of course it would hurt. Glaring at the doctor I explained, "If you will just tell Jered the truth and explain what you are doing he will be still for you." The doctor looked at me as if I had just arrived from another planet and said, "Right!"  Before I could rip off his head, Dan told the doctor we had a plan. I knew what my plan was but thought it wise to consider Dan's. Holding Jered's head still, Dan softly explained what the doctor would do and told him to fix his eyes on me while I told a story. It worked. Jered calmed down and the stitches were done in a matter of minutes. Even though he did not fully understand or trust the process, Jered did fully understand and trust us.

Truth is always the basis for trust and trust is always the basis for rest. We rarely take time to stop, be still and listen, allowing His truth to soak into our hearts and minds where trust and faith grow strong on a steady diet of truth. As a result, our faith is weak and rest is hard to find. When we learn to sit at the feet of Jesus, we will know Him better, trust Him more and find the rest we so desperately crave. Clarity of purpose and a right focus will come.  And that, my friend, is the cornerstone in a life of balance.

Now It's Your Turn
Oswald Chambers writes, "We can choke God's Word with a yawn; we can hinder the time that should be spent with God by remembering we have other things to do. 'I haven't time!' Of course you have time! Take time, strangle some other interests, and make time to realize that the center of power in your life is the Lord Jesus Christ." What is the main focus of your life? For the real answer, take a long, hard look at where you spend your time, money and energy. What changes do you need to make to bring your life into a right balance with God?

More from the Girlfriends   

Is your life balanced?If you are like me, you need all the help you can get in maintaining a balanced life. My E-Bible Study, Time: Friend or Foe,offers three important steps you can take in learning how to balance your time and your life.

Be sure to check out the FREE MP3son Mary's website.Need help getting the Word of God into your life?Check out Mary's Weekly Online Bible Study, When I Am Afraid, to learn how to face, deal with and surrender your fears to God.

Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure?Get a copy of our new book, Trusting God.

[Judy Harder]

February 10, 2012
Red Hot Romance: Take T.I.M.E. for Love
Pam Farrel

We hope you are enjoying the Girlfriends in God daily devotions.

We (Mary, Sharon, and Gwen) would like to introduce you to some of our special friends.

From time-to-time, the Friday devotions will be written by one of our friends in ministry.  We call them our "Friday Friends."  So grab your Bible and a fresh cup of coffee and drink in the words from our "Friday Friend," Pam Farrel.

Today's Truth
My love calls to me: Arise, my darling. Come away, my beautiful one (Song of Solomon 2:10, HCSV).

Friend to Friend
We live in a relationally time starved world with many of us feeling pressed to find quality moments for our spouse, children, friends and family. Today's verse is from Song of Solomon, and it brings up one of the questions we asked when researching our book  Red Hot Monogamy. Just how much time does it take to stay in love for a life time? In our life, and from those we have advised over our 32 years together, we have concluded the minimum time commitment to maintain the connectedness for a healthy strong marriage can be summarized with the word T.I.M.E.

Ten – twenty minutes to talk together alone everyday. It is amazing how just making time to talk about things more important than who is going to pick up the milk will reconnect and rekindle your hearts. This is the reason that we place couple communication questions in all of the books we author. Many of the most happily married couples we know, those with a spark in their eyes even after 30, 40, 50 years together, have found the magic in the small things: a cup of coffee and conversation in the morning or a walk around the block in the evening.

Invest in a weekly date night (or date breakfast or lunch) together for at least 4 hours. We believe in the weekly date time so much that we actually schedule two of these a week because sometimes life interrupts the best laid plans so having twice as much time as we actually feel we need each week for a date ensures that even on the busiest weeks we get at least the minimum. (And this same principle can also help you achieve the time you want with your children or a friend).

A weekly date doesn't have to cost much either. In Red Hot Monogamy we give over 200 red hot romantic ideas and many of them you can pull off for pennies. Here are a few:

If you hear "your song" on the radio, simply call his/her cell phone and hold your phone up to the speaker and let the song do the romancing.

Create a photo postcard of the two of you and on the backside, write a thank you for that special memory and an invitation out to another romantic activity (or send it via email).

Recreate your first date. If you can still fit into it, wear the same clothes. If not, at least go to the same places.

Check a book out of the library or buy a book of love poems. Sit in front of the fire place in each other's arms and take turns reading poems to each other. Or write one yourself and read aloud.

Create a series of thank you notes. Send one a day for as many days as you can think of things to thank your mate for. (Or send a daily text message sharing your appreciation).

Each of you should take a blank set of sticky notes (each can choose your own color) and write short affirmations. Place them on the mirror, the rear view mirror in the car; on his golf clubs, in her briefcase, inside his shoe, etc . . . try to find the most outrageous spot to place the love note. (This is fun to do with children too.)

Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages, for example, use the title of a candy bar with a note that says, "You are a "Big Hunk" or a note on a box of cereal reading, "You are my "Life."

Have dinner someplace different in your home: in front of the fire place, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, under the tree in the back yard, etc.

Use inexpensive dime store Valentines to create a trail of clues that lead to a romantic destination. You can also make this into a fun car rally by taping the Valentines around town, around the mall or leave taped to your friend's front doors.

Make a monthly day away policy. At least once a month spend 6 - 10 uninterrupted hours together. This can be anything you both enjoy. Try a new sport or hobby to create some common bonds.

Escape! Try to get away from it all for a 24- 48 hours twice a year—or at minimum once a year for your anniversary! We recommend twice a year with one being a marriage conference to learn new tools and skills, and the other just for rest, relaxation and romance!

Let's Pray
Lord, help me MAKE TIME for my most vital relationships so those I love sense YOUR love.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Plan to succeed! Which letter in T.I.M.E. do you need more of?  If you are married, get out your calendar and mark off time for your relationship before other things fill your days. If you are single, make a list of your most vital friendships and mark off blocks of time to enjoy fellowship.

More from the Girlfriends
Time is a gift to your marriage, your children, and your friendships. (If you want to check out how God view's time, see Ephesians 5:15-16) Today plan a time to pull away from the hectic pace of life and enjoying the simple pleasure of a good conversation. Enjoy your T.I.M.E.!

Bill and Pam Farrel are international speakers, authors of over 35 books including best selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.Free relationship articles (like Recession Romance: Free or Nearly Free Dates) and other books and resources like Red Hot Monogamyand Pam's newest 52 Ways to Wow Your Husbandcan be found at www.Love-Wise.com. You can connect to Pam by a "Like" to Pam and Bill on Facebookor follow Pam on Twitter.

[Judy Harder]

February 13, 2012
Prayer Can Change A Marriage
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20 NIV).

Friend to Friend
I am always stunned when I hear someone say, "Well, I guess the only thing left to do is pray." My goodness, I've even been shocked to hear the words come out of my own mouth. Prayer should never be seen as a last resort but as a first line of defense. No matter what condition your marriage is in today, prayer will make it better. God can make a bad marriage good and a good marriage great. God's answers to prayer healed the sick, fed the hungry, stopped the rain, kept the earth from revolving on its axis for an hour, divided the Red Sea, poured forth water from a rock, opened wombs, confused enemies, opened jail doors, made leprous skin brand new, caused the lame to dance, gave courage to the fearful, and raised the dead. Jesus said, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you," (Matthew 17:20 NIV).

Have you noticed that it's hard to stay mad at someone when you're praying for him or her?  Somehow walking into the throne room of God with a pack of anger and resentment strapped on your back doesn't feel very comfortable. I've noticed when I'm angry at my husband, and I begin to pray for him (And I'm not talking "God help him when I get a hold of him" type prayers.) God begins to soften my heart. The Bible says that God is love and it is difficult to be in Love's very presence and remain angry. Oh, you can stay mad, but it takes a lot of effort.

Sometimes it is hard to pray for our husbands when we're mad at them. But God tells us to "pray for our enemies." How much more should we pray for our God-given, lifelong mate!

I know there are many of you who are reading this devotion with anger or resentment in your hearts. You may be wondering, how did my marriage drift so far from where I hoped it would be? How did my marriage get to this state of desperation, mediocrity, frigidity, mutual tolerance, and co-existence? Is it too late for me? Is it too late for us?

Friend, the answer is no – it is not too late. I have good news for you. God's specialty is resurrection. He excels at bringing life from death. In the Old Testament, there was a couple you may have heard of, Abraham and Sarah. When Sarah laughed at the angel who said she would have a child at ninety-years-old, the angel said, "Is anything too hard for God?"

The following year, the joke was on her.  She had a baby boy and named him Isaac, which means laughter.

Nothing is too hard for God, my friend. Absolutely nothing. Jesus said, "All things are possible to him (or her) who believes" (Mark 9:23).  A baby is born to a dried up womb, fingers and toes materialize on nubs on a leper's hands and feet, sight is given to a man blind from birth, a son is raised right in the middle of his own funeral procession, and the Red Sea is parted and thousands walk across on dry land. Now, tell me, is there anything in your life too hard for a God like this?

Let's Pray (Prayer for the married woman)

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for my marriage today. I pray that you will make me into the woman that You intended all along.  Help me to see my husband through your eyes today – as a chosen, dearly loved, child of God.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Let's Pray (Prayer for the single woman)
Dear Lord, everywhere I look, I see marriages that are in trouble. I pray for my sisters who have lost hope. I pray that You will restore their marriages. Help me to be the type of friend who encourages strong marriages and prays for those in trouble.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Today, I'm giving you a list of Bible verses to pray for your husband from head to toe.  This is your assignment for today...for always.

Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe:

His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13)
His Mind - That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears - That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:
His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Psalm 19:14)
His Neck –That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)
More From the Girlfriends
There is nothing more important that we can do for our marriages than pray for our husbands.  Sharon has these Scripture prayers on a beautiful inexpensive laminated prayer card that fits snuggly in your Bible for quick reference. To order, visit www.sharonjaynes.com. While you're there, make sure and check out her book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 14, 2012
Chosen
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
The LORD spoke his word to me, saying: "Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work (Jeremiah 1:4-5, New Century Version).

Friend to Friend
It had been a wonderful day. We were all tired after hiking Grandfather Mountain and stopping on the way home to picnic beside a pristine North Carolina creek. Bedtime preparation was proceeding amazingly well. All that mountain air and country cooking was a natural sedative for our two pleasantly exhausted children. I looked forward to joining my husband, Dan, in the front porch swing to cuddle, gaze at the stars and dream of what might be.

Danna, our three-year-old daughter, was out like a light - one down and one to go. Jered, our six-year-old son scrambled into bed, ready to recap the hiking adventure and make a plan for tomorrow. We snuggled under the fluffy down comforter, talking and laughing about how much fun the day had been, then settled into a cozy, comfortable silence.

His question ripped through the still, silent night and my heart, exposing every fear and insecurity carefully buried there. "Why didn't she want me?" Jered softly asked. I knew immediately what he meant. After years of trying to have children naturally, Dan and I had discovered God had a wonderfully different plan for us. We adopted both Jered and Danna as infants and marveled daily at the precious gift of our two children. For years, I had known this question was inevitable but I was still caught off guard by Jered's probing words. My uncertain heart cried out to my Father. I needed an answer – for Jered and for me. Instantly, it came. Bruno!

When Jered was four-years-old, we were given a chocolate colored Labrador puppy that quickly outgrew our small yard, our not-so-understanding neighbors and our apprehensive children. We named this gentle giant Bruno. With each passing day, Bruno became an increasingly frustrated dog. Our postage stamp sized back yard offered little freedom or room for him to romp. Our elderly neighbors did not appreciate his early morning barking alarm and our kids soon refused to venture into the back yard because Bruno, who loved them and wanted to play, delighted in pinning them to the ground with his massive paws. It soon became clear to all of us that we were not the right family for Bruno.

After an intensive search, we discovered "Adopt a Pet," a remarkable organization that finds homes for animals whose owners, for one reason or another, cannot keep them. We were promised Bruno would be placed in just the right home where he would be loved, well cared for and have plenty of room to run and play. We talked and explained, struggling our way to the difficult decision that it was time to put Bruno up for adoption. Still, on the day they came to pick up Bruno, weall cried. Yes, we knew it was the best plan for Bruno, for us, and for a very excited family that wanted a Labrador, but it still hurt. Sometimes, doing the right thing - the best thing - the highest thing - is also the most painful thing.

As I looked into the beautiful, blue eyes of the little boy I loved more than life itself, I prayed for just the right words. "Jered, do you remember Bruno?" At the memory of the dog, Jered smiled and sadly whispered, "I still miss him." I nodded in agreement and replied, "I know, Son. I know you loved Bruno and were sad when we had to give him away.  But do you remember why we gave Bruno away?" Jered thought for a moment and carefully answered, "Because we loved him so much and we knew we couldn't take care of him right ... and because he wasn't very happy ... and because we wanted the best home in the whole wide world for him."

I paused for a moment, basking in the simple and faithful wisdom of my Father, spoken through the heart of my only son. Now I was ready to answer his unsettling question. "She did want you, honey. And she did love you ... so much, in fact, that she was willing to give you away, just like we gave Bruno away. Just as we wanted what was best for Bruno, your birth mother wanted what was best for you!" I fully recognize that it was an extremely simple illustration for a profoundly complex life circumstance – but it was enough.   

I lay there in the darkness, holding this chosen baby in my arms, listening to him breathe as he drifted into a peaceful, trust-filled sleep. My heart filled with wonder and awe at the faultless plan and complete provision of God in our lives.  With tears of gratitude spilling down my face I thanked God for two courageous young birth mothers, for the plan of adoption that brought our children to us and for God's perfect work through an unusual servant named Bruno. With a contented smile on his face, Jered sighed, turned over and whispered the precious words, "I love you, Mom."

We are all desperate to be loved and to love. We innately search for significance and are created with the powerful need to belong. We pursue worth in worthless places. We demand validation from invalid sources. In the darkness of that mountain cabin, I caught a new perspective of God's stubborn love and the absolute sacrifice He made by giving up His son, Jesus Christ. It is only through a personal relationship with Him that we experience authentic love; a love that displaces thoughts of rejection and banishes feelings of abandonment. It is in this priceless gift that we comprehend the amazing truth that even if we were never wanted or planned by human heart and mind, we were planned and wanted in the heart and mind of God! And that, dear friend, is enough!

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Let's pray
Thank You for loving me, God. Honestly, I don't understand that kind of love; a love that sent Jesus Christ to the cross so that I can live. But today, I celebrate Your love. Help me remember I am chosen and because of Your love, I will never be alone or abandoned. You created me for a personal relationship with You. I am not an accident and I am not a mistake. I was created in response to Your plan. Today, I celebrate the fact that I am a chosen child of the King.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now it's your turn

In your Bible, find seven verses that talk about the love of God. Begin by reading Psalm 139. Write each verse on a 3x5 card. Memorize one verse a day for the next seven days and share the verse with someone you love.
Who or what makes you feel abandoned and unloved?
Journal your thoughts and feelings about your significance. Then determine one step that you can take in order to see yourself through the eyes of God.
More from the Girlfriends       
As a pastor's wife, I have talked with so many women who feel as if they were worthless, a freakish accident. Listen, my friend, you were planned and wanted by God. God is crazy about you and wants an intimate relationship with you.  I pray that you will see yourself in the eyes of God, a chosen child. Need help? Check out one of Mary's MP3 downloads, Come as You Are to discover how to see yourself through the eyes of God.

Be sure to check out theFREE MP3son Mary's website.

Need help getting the Word of God into your life?Check out Mary's Weekly Online Bible Study, When I Am Afraid, to learn how to face, deal with and surrender your fears to God.

Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure?Get a copy of our new book, Trusting God.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 15, 2012
Words Can Captivate Your Man
(or any number of people)
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
A good wife is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds (Proverbs 31:10, The Message).

Friend to Friend
OK, today is a devo for our married GiGs, but you single gals are not off the hook. Words are so powerful. We can use them to build people up or tear people down, to encourage or discourage, to speak life or to speak death. If you are not married, think of a friend or family member looking at your picture and musing about the impact you've had on their life. What would run through their mind? Now, you can read this devotion and put someone else in this buddy's seat.

Today, I want you to use your imagination. I want you to imagine your husband sitting at his desk or at a quiet place at work. Imagine him lost in thought about how blessed he is to have you as his wife. He holds your framed picture in his hand and moisture begins to pool in his eyes. He is captivated.

All the riches in the world are not to be compared with the jewel I have in this woman,he muses. What did I ever do to deserve her? God has given me such a gift. All our married life, she has done nothing but love me, bring out the best in me, and look out for my best interest.  All the guys at the office are envious of our relationship. I see the way their eyes soften when she comes by just to tell me hello, grabs my hand when we're at office functions, or pecks me on the cheek for no apparent reason. I notice that her loving words to me are in stark contrast to some of the cutting remarks of other wives...and so do my friends.  I look around at the accomplishments of my life, but having this woman as my wife is my greatest. Oh sure, there are many women out there in the world who are accomplishing great feats, but my wife...well, she surpasses them all.

What a picture!  That's the woman I want to be, don't you? And amazingly my words can be the determining factor as to whether this scenario is possible or not. Did you know that there are words your husband longs to hear? Did you know that there are words we should never say? Let me give you a few from my book, The Power of a Woman's Words.

Words Never to Say to Your Husband

1.    I told you so.
2.    You just don't think.
3.    It's all your fault.
4.    What's wrong with you?
5.    I can't do anything to please you.
6.    All you care about is yourself.
7.    You never listen to me.
8.    I don't know why I put up with you.
9.    What do you want now?
10.  How many times do I have to tell you?

Words Your Husband Longs to Hear

I've been thinking about you all day.
What can I do for you today?
How can I pray for you today?
The best part of my day is when you come home.
You are one of God's most precious gifts to me.
You are so wonderful.
You look so handsome today.
I don't feel complete without you.
I will always love you.
I trust your decisions.
Today, be aware of the words you say to your husband.  Do they build him up or tear him down? Do they make him glad he came home, or wish he hadn't?

And for the single GiG, consider the words that you speak to your co-workers and friends. They have their own lists too.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, please keep watch over my lips today. Help me use my words to speak life to those I come in contact with today. Help me use my words to build up and not tear down. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Why not pick out 1 or 2 phrases from the list of words your husband longs to hear and try them out today? You might be surprised just how much his eyes light up!  When you love your husband well, God says "Well done, my good and faithful servant!"

Let's hold each other accountable. Pick one of the lines from what your husband longs to hear and tell me which one you are going to say today. And single gals, you pick one too. Tell me at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.

More from the Girlfriends
February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages. Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams? The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night? Then you'll want to read Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. And if it's that little muscle called THE TONGUE that you need to reign in, check out The Power of a Woman's Words.

[Judy Harder]

February 16, 2012
And I love Me!
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-38, NIV).

Friend to Friend
I love being a grandmother. I absolutely adore our three grandchildren and work hard at finding any and every excuse to spend time with them. The games I played with their parents, I now play with them. I read many of the same stories that I read to their parents and have come up with new renditions of old songs I once sang as a young mother. I am convinced that my grandchildren keep me young. I am also convinced that they are some of my greatest and most profound teachers. Maybe that is because they are so "fresh" from Heaven and the presence of God. Whatever the reason, when I spend time with them, I always come away with new truth.

I recently visited our son and daughter-in-law in Charlotte, North Carolina because two of our three grandchildren live with them. They are twins. As you can imagine, life is anything but dull as Jered and Jodi try to keep up with three-year-old Lelia and Jaydan. It seems like the twins do or say something new every day and I can now testify to the fact that are learning to talk ... a lot! They are also learning how to pray.

As we sat down at the dinner table one night, I watched Lelia and Jaydan bow their heads and begin to sing the blessing. It was one of those life moments I will never forget. But there was more. When the song was finished, Jered prayed, "Thank You, God, for our food and our home. Thank You for Mommy, Daddy, Lelia, Jaydan and for Mimi." I waited for the usual "amen" but instead, heard two sweet voices offer their own thanks. Lelia ended their prayer time by pointing to each person seated at the table and declaring, "I love Mommy and Daddy. I love JayJay. I love Mimi." Then came the "amen" from daddy. However, Lelia was not done. With sparkling eyes and a smile that would melt any heart, she pointed to herself and said, "And I love me!"

And there you have the three-year-old translation of the two most important commandments Jesus ever gave. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself" Matthew 22:37-38 (NIV).

Jesus is responding to a question he was asked by an interpreter of the law. I suspect the motive behind the question was far from pure, but Jesus responded with pure truth when He said that the love of God is the "first and greatest commandment." In other words, our love of God must not only be not sincere but radical. If we love God, we sell out to Him and will naturally serve Him by loving and serving others. Too often, we stop right there and never get to the second most important commandment. Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Yes, there is a self-love that is corrupt, and the root of the greatest sins we can possibly commit. That kind of self-love must die. However, Jesus teaches that we are to love ourselves enough to take care of and be concerned with the welfare of our own bodies and souls. Our body houses the Holy Spirit. Our soul is eternal. We are responsible for the care of both. And we must love our neighbor as truly and sincerely as we love ourselves. That kind of love often asks us to deny ourselves for the good of others because people could care less how much we know, until they know how much we care. Our choice to obey these two commandments will mold our heart and life into something beautiful that honors and pleases God.

The psalmist writes, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (Psalm 139:13-14). You can judge the value and the worth of a product by looking at the one who made it. You are no accident. You were created by God – for God – and even if you were never wanted or planned by human heart and mind, you were planned and wanted by God. So, love your neighbor and while you are at it, love yourself.

Let's Pray
Father, I celebrate the fact that You created me. You planned my life and chose me to be Your daughter because You love me. Help me to love others, God, and then help me to see and love myself through Your eyes.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read the following verses of Scripture and answer the questions listed below.

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

How does this verse of Scripture emphasize the fact that you and I were created in response to God's plan, not as an afterthought or as an accident?
Psalm 8:3-5 "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor."

How do these verses line up with the way you see yourself right now? What one immediate change do you need to make in order to see yourself the way God sees you?
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Are you living a life plan that gives you hope and a future? Is it the right plan? 
Read and memorize Isaiah 43:4 and make it one of your life verses. "You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you."

More from the Girlfriends
Learning to see ourselves through the eyes of God – no more and no less – is fundamental to a life of power and victory. The enemy would love for us to think that we are worthless and of little or no value to God. Do not buy his lies! You are loved and wanted by God, friend. Now live like it!

Need help?Check out these resources that will help you discover your worth and value to God:

Getting Good at Being You(CD)

How to Get Past Your Past (CD)

In His Eyes (MP3)

Join women from across the worldin Mary's Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. When I Am Afraid is the current series and will help you discover how to face and deal with the fear in your life.

Need a friend?Connect with me on Facebook or through email. I love hearing what God is doing in your life! Tell me how praising God has made a difference in your life. Let's talk about it, girlfriend!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 17, 2012
Buddy Straps
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT)

Friend To Friend
Every family has one... that certain individual who gets injured and banged up more than their fair share. That person who spends the majority of your family's health care budget on their co-pay needs because, for whatever reason, accidents mysteriously, regularly and relentlessly hunt them down and throw a good bit of hurt on them. In our family, this person is my teenaged son, Preston.

We've been up, down and all around when it comes to Preston's breaks, bandages and bruises. So it was a bit old-hat to be sitting in a small examining room a few weeks ago, waiting to see the doctor about yet another injury. This one happened in gym class. Preston climbed up a rope, made it to the top, and then had the bright idea of letting go of the rope instead of scaling down safely. Brilliant. He broke his big toe... in the middle of basketball season. Nice.

The doctor looked over the x-rays and had good news for us: Preston only had a hairline fracture in his toe. It would heal quickly. He would be immobilized in a funky shoe for a week or two, and then he would be able to get back to playing basketball as soon as the pain subsided.

As we prepped to leave, the doctor told Preston that once he was able to put weight on his foot, he would need to use a "buddy strap." The strap would hold his broken toe snugly to the healthy toe right beside it for support. A nurse then handed my son a few black Velcro strips and explained that he should wear them to play basketball as soon as his pain was manageable. The support of the buddy straps would help him get back in the game quickly.

My eyebrows raised and my mind reeled as I pondered the similarities between buddy straps and friendships. There are a million times when my heart or circumstances are fractured. Each wound and challenge threatens to keep me immobilized both emotionally and spiritually. In those times, it always benefits me to first seek refuge in the stable arms of God and to then buddy-strap my heart to a few godly girlfriends. As the psalmist cried out, so I cry out:

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken(Psalm 62:5-6, ESV).

Then, after seeking God, as I ready myself to put one foot in front of another, my girlfriends rally as my buddy straps and provide prayer support, wisdom and encouragement. When one friend is weak because of life-fractures, it is a blessing for a strong and healthy friend to come along side to help her.

We need each other as Christian women. That's what Girlfriends in God is all about: women encouraging other women in faith and in life. When Sharon, Mary and I co-founded GiG, it was purposed to spur you toward the heart of God through devotions and conferences. In real life, we are buddy straps for each other. Our lives are filled with as many life-fractures as the next person... so we often rally to speak words of encouragement, truth and hope to one another. At times, we even speak correction. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17).

Where does this find you today? Do you have some life-fractures and challenges? Are you the buddy strap to any of your friends who are struggling? Perhaps you've got both going on. If so, then praise God. Praise Him for trials – which can grow you in perseverance, character and hope (Romans 5:4) and for His provision of friends in your life that love you, challenge you and cheer you on through the hard times. And praise Him for the opportunity to be a buddy strap in return.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT).

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, thank You for giving me access to Your grace and strength through Your Son, Jesus Christ. You are my Strong Tower, my Refuge, my Shelter, my Help and my Hope. I am so grateful that when my days are filled with hurt and struggles that You are right beside me – and that You have blessed me with some buddy straps. Please help me encourage my friends toward your grace, hope and truth today.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Who are you a buddy strap to? Are you sensitive to the needs around you or do you not "have the time" to worry about other people's problems?

Think of three girlfriends in your life who have been your buddy straps, then pause to pray for each of them. Bless them today. Send a card or an email. Text them or post on their wall. Connect to say thanks.

Got a great buddy strap story? I'd love to hear about it! Swing by my facebook page today and leave a comment or a prayer request: www.facebook.com/GwenSmithMusic.

More From The Girlfriends
I love my girlfriends. They are total wild flowers in the bouquet of my life. When my children were young, Brad and I moved several times in just a few years. That made it hard for me to connect with other women. If you find yourself in a place where you need some women friends, I encourage you to contact the Women's Ministry Director at your church and let her know your need. Sharon, Mary and I truly love doing life with you and are blessed to encourage you through these devotions and at the conferences where we speak. We'd love to meet you and hug your neck in person! Check our websiteto see when one of the GiGs might be coming to an event near you.

Gwen's most recent CD, Uncluttered, is music that's purposed to sweep you away from life-noise and to focus your heart and mind on the one thing that matters: your relationship with Jesus Christ. You can find it on iTunes, or check out the CD SPECIALS going on now at http://gwensmith.net/store/specials.htm.

[Judy Harder]

February 20, 2012
Lost that Lovin' Feeling?
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" (Revelation 2:4 NIV). 

Friend to Friend
(If you aren't married, I want you to read this devotion through the lens of this...have you lost that lovin' feeling towards Jesus? Now, read on sister and consider Jesus as your heavenly groom.)

If you're married, what do you do when you've lost that loving' feelin'? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can't remember why. Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can't remember what they were.  Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now take them for granted. What do you do now?

Here's a statistic you might find interesting. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier. In fact, nearly 60 percent of those who rated their marriage as unhappy in the late 1980's, and who stayed married, rated their same marriage "very happy" or "quite happy" when re-interviewed five years later ( Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000) 148). In comparison, those who divorced and remarried, divorced again at a rate of 60 percent (Judith Wallerstein and Julia A. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Hyperion, 2000) p295).

So, starting over may very well be the answer ... as long as it's with the same man.

In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" (Revelation 2:4).  Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament and yet, somewhere along the way, they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

As I read God's lament, I whispered a prayer. "Oh Lord, how many of us women have forgotten our first love. We've forgotten the thrill we felt when we first met our husbands: the spine tingling chills when he walked into a room, the heart skipping flutter when he called on the phone, the tender wooing when we opened a letter penned by his hand, the electricity of sexual desire stirred with a kiss. Somewhere between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running carpool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, folding the laundry...somewhere among the mundane routine of life, we've lost that lovin' feelin'.

How do we get it back? God gave the church two simple steps for the Bride of Christ to renew her passion for her Beloved, and I believe we can apply the same principles to renewing our passion for the man of our dreams.

Remember and Return
Remember what drew you to your husband in the first place? Remember how you tried to please him, capture his heart, and win his affection? That may have been fifty pounds and a full head of hair ago, but that young man who longed to be adored, admired, and appreciated still lives within his heart. He wants to know if he still "has what it takes." Let him know that he does.

Everyone loves a love story. Tell your children the story of how you first met and fell in love. Remember special days such as your first date, your first kiss, or when you first realized he was the man you wanted to marry. Listen to a tape or watch a video of your wedding. Steve and I celebrate not only our wedding anniversary but also the day he asked me to marry him. I'm sure my son has tired of hearing the story time and time again, but he's never doubted that his parents are crazy about each other.

(If you are single, think of the day you first came to Jesus. Tell someone about it. Praise God for it. Each year we celebrate our son's spiritual birthday...July 4th.)

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I so want to be a woman that is on fire for You.  I want my spiritual passion to be ablaze and never cool. Likewise, I want my marriage to be a passionate example of Christ and the Church. Help me to always remember what drew me to my husband and show me ways to keep that love strong. Help me to remember the day I first came to You, and help me to keep the fire ablaze.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
If you have kids, tell them the story of how you met and fell in love with your husband at the dinner table tonight.

If you aren't married, tell someone how you met Jesus Christ and gave your life to Him.

If you are married, write down what drew you to your husband initially.

If you are not married, write down what you long for in the man of your dreams.

Let's share some ideas. Visit www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and tell one way you keep the love alive in your marriage.

More from the Girlfriends
February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages.  Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams?  The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night?  Then you'll want to read Becoming the Woman of His Dreams – Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For  by Sharon Jaynes. And get ready to fan that flame once again!

[Judy Harder]

February 21, 2012
Sponge Theology
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45, NIV)

Friend to Friend
What is really inside will come spilling out for all to see when life puts the squeeze on us. My Mama used to say "What's down in the well comes up in the bucket." In other words, a crisis will usually reveal what is really in our hearts. It is easy to do and say the right things when life is calm and everything is going right, but what we say and do when chaos hits and the pressure is on tends to paint a more accurate picture of who we really are. It is kind of like sponge theology.

Suppose you have five sponges lying on your kitchen counter. Each member of your family has been cleaning different areas of your home, but the sponges all look the same. You are curious about what was cleaned but you can't tell just by looking at the sponges since they all look the same. So what do you do?

You squeeze each sponge to see what happens. As you squeeze the first sponge, brown cola comes pouring out. Someone must have cleaned the kitchen with that sponge. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you see blue tub and tile cleaner oozing out of the sponge which leads you to believe someone used that particular sponge to clean the bathroom. In the third sponge, you find motor oil and conclude your husband was using that sponge to clean the garage. The fourth sponge produces a puff of baby powder when it is squeezed. The baby's nursery was obviously cleaned with that sponge. Finally, the last sponge is dripping with floor wax which tells you someone used that particular sponge to clean the hall floor. As you lay the last sponge down, you look again at their similarity. They all look the same -- until they are squeezed.

We are a lot like sponges when it comes to our faith in God. We look and act as if God is Lord of our lives. We say all the right things to all the right people and do right things in order to prove we are right. But what is really inside? What do our hearts really look like?

When a crisis comes and the pressures of life squeeze us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, what comes out? Do we respond to that difficult person in anger or with patience and love? Does revenge spill out in ugly words to that person who has hurt us more times than we can count or do we take a breath and remember that God loves them and that hurt people tend to hurt people? Does the pain of unresolved sin flood our hearts and minds as guilt spills out of our heart with a vengeance?

Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in. Fill your heart with the things of God. Stay in the Word each day. Spend time with faith builders who will encourage you in your faith. Seek God and His plan for your life. Pray about everything so that when life puts the squeeze on you – and it will – the very nature of God will come pouring out.

Let's Pray
Father, I want my faith to be more than just talk. I want it to be real and authentic, flowing from a heart set on You. Forgive me when I play religious games and pretend to be someone I am not. I am a sinner saved by Your grace. Teach me how to walk in that grace so that when the hard times come and the pressure is on, You come pouring out of my life.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Think back to the last time you were surprised by your reaction to a situation or a person. What does that tell you about the condition of your heart? Set aside time to spend alone with God. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any sin that needs to be faced and confessed. Give Him permission to purify your heart so that no matter what life throws at you, God will be honored by how you respond.

More from the Girlfriends
As a pastor's wife, I have talked with so many women who feel as if they were worthless, a freakish accident. Listen, my friend, you were planned and wanted by God. God is crazy about you and wants an intimate relationship with you.  I pray that you will see yourself in the eyes of God, a chosen child. Need help? Check out one of Mary's MP3 downloads, Come as You Are to discover how to see yourself through the eyes of God.

Be sure to check out the FREE MP3son Mary's website.

Need help getting the Word of God into your life?Check out Mary's Weekly Online Bible Study, When I Am Afraid, to learn how to face, deal with and surrender your fears to God.

Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure?Get a copy of our new book, Trusting God.

[Judy Harder]

February 22, 2012
How Much of Your Life do You Want God to Change?
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Jesus said to the servants, 'Fill the jars with water'; so they fill them to the brim," (John 2:7 NIV).

Friend to Friend
Shortly after Jesus was baptized, he attended a wedding reception in the town of Cana, in Galilee. Apparently Jesus felt very comfortable at such a party, and I imagine Him laughing, mingling, and having a good time with His friends. Near the end of the festivities, the servants let Mary in on a dilemma – they were out of wine. To run out of wine at a Jewish wedding celebration was an embarrassment and disgrace to the hosting family. Mary turned to her son and said, "They have no more wine," (John 2:3 NIV) as if she expected Him to do something about it.  I can almost see her raised eyebrow and the mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Jesus said, "Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come" (John 2:4).

Mary turned to the servants and said, "Do what ever He tells you." Mary seemed to understand Jesus' power before anyone else.

Jesus told the servants to fill six large thirty gallon stone pots with water. So they filled them "to the brim." Then He told them to draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.

When they did so, the master tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He then called the bridegroom aside and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."

I often wonder what would have happened if the servants had filled the pots half full or three fourths full. I imagine Jesus would have transformed exactly what they put in.  Likewise, God will transform just as much of our lives as we give Him. As for me, I want to "fill it to the brim," give Him all of my life – every bit of it. It is the same with my marriage. I want to give Jesus all of my marriage...to the brim. So in our winter years, my husband and I will agree...we have saved the best till now.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be like the servants who did exactly what you told them to do.  My desire is to obey you fully...to the brim. Help me not to hold back anything but give You all of me so that you can transform me totally.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
How much of your life do you want Jesus to transform?

How much of your marriage do you want Jesus to transform?  How much of your marriage have you given Him?

How much of your attitude do you want Jesus to transform?  How much of your attitude have you given Him?

How much of your __________ do you want Jesus to transform? (You fill in the blank.)

How much have you given Him?

I'd love to know what you filled in that blank. Let's share at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.

More from the Girlfriends
Today's devotion was taken from Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For.  If there is one area of our lives that we need to give totally to Christ, it is our marriages. Perhaps that's why Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding. To learn more about how to be the woman your husband longs for, click on the bookstore link above. And while you are on my webpage, check out the articles and past blogs/devotions on marriage. There are even a few free resources.