Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

May 15, 2013
No More Stinkin' Thinkin'
Sharon Jaynes         

Today's Truth

Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Martha was so frustrated with her marriage. She had dreams of marrying her knight in shining armor who would leave flower petals on her pillow, be distracted by her beauty, and pledge his undying love on a regular basis. She dreamed of having three doting, obedient, well-mannered children that she could dress-up in cute little outfits and parade down the church aisle on Sundays. Her tidy home would come with a well-manicured lawn, two and a half baths, and perfectly coordinated décor. She would be the happy homemaker who joyfully mopped the beautiful kitchen floor in her size six khaki slacks, shabby chic blouse, and stylish haircut. She could almost picture Mr. Clean winking at her from the corner of the room, giving his hearty approval of the smile on her flawless face.

But life had not turned out like Martha expected. Her knight did come along, but his armor began to tarnish soon after they said, "I do." He left his smelly socks on the floor, had a love affair with the TV remote, and hardly noticed all the work she did to keep the house clean and orderly.

Life sure has not turned out the way I thought it would, she thought.I am bored and unappreciated. Romance: that's what I want. This man wouldn't know romance if it hit him in the face. Why should I care how I look? He sure doesn't care about his appearance. Look at that gut? He complains about me gaining weight? Well, he hasn't seen nothin' yet. I've made a huge mistake. I just want someone who will love me and appreciate me. Is that too much to ask?

And the kids? They never do what I ask. They're disobedient, loud, and messy. I don't know when I've seen a clean floor last. And where is Mr. Clean anyway?

The enemy had slowly crept in while Martha was unaware. Unmet expectations became the breeding ground for the lies to grow. He planted the seeds of discontent one disappointment at a time. Rather than thinking how she could make her marriage better, she began thinking about how she could get out of it. Rather than enjoying her rambunctious children, she loathed their energy. Rather than being thankful that she had a home and family to clean up after, she complained about the dirt.

"Martha just needs to give her life to Jesus," you might say. But she has! She is a Christian. So on top of her disappointment with life, she added guilt to it all. I'm a bad Christian, she thinks. If I was a better Christian, I'd be happy. What's wrong with me?

Girlfriend, the enemy's fingerprints are all over this woman's thought life. He has pointed her down the road of stinkin' thinkin' and she's stumbled into the pit. While she assumes these thoughts are her own concoction, it is the enemy who has made the suggestion. She simply bought into them and made them her own. They became her own version of reality – her own version of the truth.

Paul gave us an effective lie detector through which to filter our thoughts in Philippians 4:8-9.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Now that is a lot to think about, considering that the mind thinks about 130 words per minute.   But the good news is – we are not on our own. God has given us the power of the Holy Spirit to enable us to do all that He has called us to do.

Paul doesn't just leave us with the qualifying list; he gives us the means by which to implement it. "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice."

It takes practice! Practice! Practice! Practice!

But look at the result..."And the God of peace will be with you."

Let's Pray

Dear heavenly Father, help me to realize when my thinking needs adjusting. I know that I cannot act differently than I think. Help me to run my thoughts through the sieve of Philippians 4:8 so that Your peace will rule in my heart.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Make a list of the litmus test for right thinking and carry it around with you today.

Ask yourself, is this thought:

True

Noble

Right

Pure

Lovely

Admirable

Excellent

Praiseworthy

If your words or thoughts don't pass the test, then push the delete button and erase that stinkin' thinkin'!

More from the Girlfriends

Today's devotion was taken from my book, I'm Not Good Enough and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. If you need to start speaking the truth to yourself about yourself, then this is the book for you. And if it is the words that you speak to others that need an overhaul, then you'll want to see The Power of a Woman's Words.  In this book we look at our words and the power we posses, the people we influence, and the power to change.

[Judy Harder]

May 16, 2013
Tearing Up the Scorecards
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

Love is patient, love is kind...it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs, (1 Corinthians 12:4-5, NIV).

Friend to Friend

She was at it again. Mrs. Barnett was getting out the scorecards and tallying up the points.         

I sat with an older woman as she began enumerating her family's shortcomings. "Callie never comes to see me," she began to complain about her granddaughter. "And she never calls me either. I saw her sitting on the other side of the church last week and she didn't even come over and give me a hug."

"Benjamin is just as bad," she continued, talking about her grandson. "He never comes by unless he wants something. I never hear from him, but if he wants money for a mission trip you better believe I get a letter. He's just like his father," she continued. "He never pays any attention to me unless he wants something."

Throughout our time together, Mrs. Barnett mentioned several family members and friends who had disappointed her, who had not lived up to her expectations, and who had not given her the love she "deserved." The more I listened; the clearer a picture began to take shape in my mind.  I envisioned Mrs. Barnett with a big stack of scorecards. At the top of each card was a name: a grandchild, a child, a friend, a pastor, and yes, even one with my name printed across the top.  If someone telephoned her, they got 1point. If they stopped by for a visit, they got 1 point. If they gave her a hug without being asked, they got 1 point. If they told her she looked pretty, they got 2 points.

However, if they did not show the proper display of affection, they lost 5 points. If they did not come by for a visit within the expected amount of time, they lost 5 points. If they did not send her a card on the appropriate days, they lost 5 points. Birthday cards, Christmas gifts, phone calls, visits, etc, were all tallied on mental scorecards for later retrieval. She was very busy keeping track of all the plusses and minuses for each person.

I shook my head to clear away the movie being played in the theater of my mind and tried to pay attention to our conversation. After all, I didn't want to get a bad mark on my scorecard that day.

Friend, let me tell you a great life lesson. As long as this woman keeps mental scorecards on the people in her life, she is going to be miserable. And if you or I keep scorecards for the people in our lives, we will be miserable as well.

First Corinthians 13 says, "Love is patient, love is kind...it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs," (1 Corinthians 12:4-5). Love is about giving – not necessarily about giving money or gifts, but giving love. Can I say that again? Love is about giving love. Love does not keep a record of wrongs or perceived wrongs. It does not involve an accounting tally sheet of debits and credits or scorecards of plusses and minuses. It does not keep a running list of kindnesses to reward those who come out on top and shun those who do not.

Self-centeredness says, "What has that person done for me lately?" Love says, "What can I do for that person today?" 

Self-centeredness makes mental lists of how others have disappointed them. Love makes mental lists of ways they can bless others.

Self-centeredness withholds affection and approval from those who don't deserve it. Love gives affection unconditionally because none of us do deserve it.

Self-centeredness says, "Come here and give me a hug." Love says, "Come here and let me hug you." Can you tell the difference? A ten-year-old certainly can. He or she might not be able to verbalize the difference or even recognize it, but they certainly feel the difference in the pit of their stomachs and in the tenderness of their hearts.

With genuine love, there are no scorecards. I'm certainly glad God tore up mine long ago.

David wrote, "If you, O LORD, kept a record of sin, O Lord, who could stand?" (Psalm 130:3 NIV). Certainly not me! If God doesn't keep a scorecard, making notes of the ways I have offended Him, disappointed Him, or not given Him the attention He deserves, then why do I think I have the right to keep scorecards on the people in my little world? He doesn't give plusses and minuses and then tally up our cards to see whether or not we deserve His love.   So why do we do it to others? God gives and gives and gives, and gets very little in return. Why does He do that? Because He loves you and me perfectly, wholly, and unconditionally.

Scorecards. Do you keep them? Do you keep mental lists of what people do and don't do to deserve your love? If so, you'll never be content or at peace in your relationships. No one may see the scorecards sitting on your coffee table, but they'll know they are there. They will see them in your eyes, hear them in your tone, and sense them in your touch. And there may be a few brave souls who refuse to play the game and decide to bow out of your life altogether.

Here is what I would like to suggest. Tear up the scorecards. Here's how:

Get a stack of index cards. Write one person's name at the top of each card. Start with your children, your grandchildren, your parents, your in-laws, your spouse, your siblings, your pastor.  Then move on to your circle of friends. Beside each name, write the words, "Scorecard." For example: Beth's Scorecard.

Hold the stack of scorecards in your hand and pray:

"Dear Lord, I am no longer going to keep a scorecard for ____________.  Help me love like You love – unconditionally, with no strings attached. Help me to be thankful for the attention I do receive rather than resentful for what I don't. I do not want to become a bitter old woman that people avoid, but a grateful, graceful lady people enjoy. And Lord, whenever I begin to fall into the old habit of making mental notes of how someone did not live up to my expectations, I pray that You will convict me quickly and help me to replace the negative thoughts with a prayer of thanksgiving.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

After you have prayed, take each scorecard in your hands and tear it into tiny pieces. Now, throw them away. Be free. Be blessed. Enjoy life.

Today's devotion didn't follow our normal pattern of Let's Pray and Now It's Your Turn, but it is all there. If you actually did this exercise, I'd love to hear about it. You can email me privately at Sharon@sharonjaynes.com or leave a comment on my blog page at www.sharonjaynes.com.

More from the Girlfriends

One of the ways we build relationships or destroy relationships is with the words we speak. Words can make or break a marriage, encourage or discourage a child, draw in or push away a friend. If you would like to tame your tongue and learn how to use your words to speak life into those in your sphere of influence, check out my book, The Power of a Woman's Words and accompanying study guide. It is a favorite for Women's Bible studies and small groups.

[Judy Harder]

May 17, 2013
I'm Exhausted!
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly" (Matthew 11:30, MSG).

Friend to Friend
I had just arrived at my favorite coffee shop. As I opened the door, the smell of freshly brewed java greeted me and filled my creative mind with possibilities. I was eager to get to work and excited that my warm, happy coffee-friend would come along with me for the ride. As I grabbed a cup from the counter and paid, I asked the barista how she was doing.

"I'm exhausted!" She lamented with a sigh.

I knew exactly how she felt. I feel that way a lot! I'm famous for trying to put ten pounds of living into a five-pound sack. She was tired. Stressed. Drained. Over-committed. Under-rested. Exhausted. Yep. I totally know that feeling.

Have you been there? Ha! Of course you have! It's so easy for us to rush into our days and get busy with life stuff, attempting to accomplish mountains of tasks and emotional situations in our own strength. We are constantly pulled in a million directions. Trying to juggle the slow, steady drain of complicated relationships, crazy schedules, and weighty challenges.

The simple truth is, our exhaustion problems can't be solved without God. I find it comforting to realize that we aren't the first people to struggle with feelings like this. All throughout Scripture people got worn-out and lamented about their tired souls. David wrote countless Psalms about being weary, and Elijah was so exhausted at one point that he sank into a deep depression and lost his God-courage. Jesus spoke to a crowd of people in Galilee one day about the only sure-fire solution to our exhaustion problem.

He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

The MESSAGE paraphrase of those same verses reads this way, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG)

When you keep company with Jesus you'll learn to live freely and lightly. Does that sound appealing to you? If so, then it's time to respond to His invitation. Whether you have thirty seconds or thirty minutes, pause now to turn to Him. Grab your prayer journal if you have one. Center your heart on His splendor and approach Him with reverence. While you are in His presence, empty your exhaustion out before Him. Tell Him the concerns on your heart and take a soul rest.

That day in the coffee shop, as I filled my cup I gave my exhausted, coffee-serving friend a smile and a knowing look. Then I spoke a word of hope to her heart and encouraged her to refuel in the secret place, the presence of God. She smiled back and thanked me for the reminder. She loves the Lord, but – like all of us – she sometimes forgets that soul rest is available.

Keep company with Him today. All day. When you do, you'll experience His strength for each moment and His hope in each challenge. Live freely and lightly in Jesus, girlfriend.

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, You are mighty to save and all I need. Thank You for reminding me that I can always come to you and trade in my exhaustion for Your rejuvenation. I come to You today and ask that You would restore rest to my soul.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Now It's Your Turn

Read and meditate on the words that Jesus spoke to His apostles when they were tired and weary one day, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." (Mark 6:31b, NIV) Now read it again and add your name to it.

RESPOND: Allow the music and lyrics of "Sacred Place" to lead you into God's presence right now. Turn up the speakers on your computer and CLICK HERE to listen to the song as you center your heart, mind, and soul on the Holy One.

More from the Girlfriends

I know some of you are carrying heavy loads of exhaustion. Free living might sound like a promise for other people, but not for you. Perhaps you are dealing with a constant strain in your life. God sees you, friend. He knows your struggles. He's able to work out the details. Trust Him for strength and rest...whether He delivers you from the exhaustion or through it. Let's pray for one another and continue the conversation over on my blog.

If you enjoyed this devotion, subscribe to Gwen's newsletter. Big Bonus: when you subscribe to the newsletter, you will receive a free song download! How fun is that? Thanks for doing life with us!

Are you ready to go deeper with God? What does trusting God really look like for a woman with your relationships and set of circumstances? Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith and Mary Southerland will help you experience the exciting journey of discovering personal peace in the ups and downs of life.

[Judy Harder]

May 20, 2013
Prayer Unleashes Faith
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:13-16, NIV).

Friend to Friend

A small country town was in desperate need of rain. One Sunday morning, the pastor of the local church called for a special prayer meeting to be held that night. "It's time to pray for rain," he said. The people gathered with a sense of purpose and excitement, but when the pastor stood to lead the prayer time, his words stunned the waiting crowd.  "Only one of you came in faith," he announced. Looking down at the first row, the pastor pointed at a little girl who sat quietly, a smile on her face and an umbrella in her hand.  We can pray for rain, but faith brings an umbrella. Prayer invites and expects God to step in and take charge.  Rick Warren, the pastor of Saddleback Church in California and author of "The Purpose Driven Life" was once asked, "Rick, why do you think God blesses your life and this ministry in such powerful ways?" His answer was surprisingly simple, "Because I expect him to." Prayer shuts out fear and fuels faith.         

Remember when Jesus came to the disciples, walking on the water, between three and six o'clock in the morning, the darkest time of the night? I have often wished I could have been on that boat with the disciples, waiting for Jesus to show up. I imagine the questions and complaints were flying! "Why would Jesus send us out here, knowing the waves were high? And where is He, by the way? Why is He waiting so long to rescue us? Can't He just calm the waves like He did before? I ministered all day long and this is my reward? Is He really coming? I don't understand!" Sound familiar?

When the winds picked up and the waves grew larger, I am sure that every disciple in that rocking boat was praying like crazy! Unfortunately, it often takes a crisis to drive us to our knees in prayer. I think I know why. Until we are utterly helpless, prayer seems like an option instead of our only hope.

Three ministers were discussing which position produces the most powerful prayer. As they were talking, a telephone repairman was working on the phone system in the background. One minister shared that he felt the key to powerful prayer was in the hands. He always held his hands together and pointed them upward as a form of symbolic worship. The second suggested that real prayer was conducted on the knees while the third minister suggested that they both had it wrong. According to him, the only position worth its salt was to pray while stretched out flat on your face in humility. The phone man couldn't resist offering his opinion, "I have found that the most powerful prayer I ever prayed was while I was dangling upside down by my heels from a power pole suspended forty feet above the ground." Helplessness underlines our need for faith and our total dependence upon God, even when the skies are clear and the water is calm.

Answered prayer should be the norm. Prayer should be as natural and constant as breathing. A mother overheard her daughter-in-law talking on the telephone to a friend who had called, asking for prayer. Five-year-old Amy came bouncing into the room, stood still for a moment to listen, and heard her mother praying. "Is that God on the phone, Mom?" Amy interrupted. "I need to talk to Him, too!"

Samuel Chadwick writes, "The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayer-less studies, prayer-less work and prayer-less religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but he trembles when we pray."  The best time for prayer isn't found. It's made. The average Christian spends very little time in prayer – then wonders why they have no faith and experience no power. If we are too busy to pray, we are too busy to experience the power of God. We can be very busy, but not necessarily productive because we lack faith. One of the main reasons we lack faith is because we don't pray. Consistent prayer builds consistent faith.

Let's Pray

Father, Thank You for the gift of prayer. I am constantly amazed by Your love and the fact that You really want to spend time with me in prayer. Help me to become a mighty prayer warrior for You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Pray! You have probably read many devotions and listened to a few sermons on prayer. However, I believe the main problem with our prayer life is simple – we just do not pray. We think we have to be in a certain place, at a certain time going through specific steps in order to pray. Prayer needs to become a habit that takes second place to nothing. Pray about everything. Start praying in the morning when your eyes open and don't stop until they close in sleep. Create a prayer journal in which you can record prayer requests, prayers and praises. Right now, celebrate the gift of prayer – and pray!

More from the Girlfriends

God's love is not a shallow love that always rescues easily or quickly. God loves us enough to walk us through the fiery times that make us more like His Son, Jesus Christ. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are different from our thoughts. He is Holy God! Join me in a new commitment to trust God to work at the right time and in the right way as we seek Him in prayer.

Need help?Check out one of Mary's E-Bible Studies for practical steps you can take to strengthen your faith and find answers to the problems you face every day. Titles include Anger Management 911, God's Answer to Stress, Getting a Grip on Fear and more.

Join other women across the worldin Mary's Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. Power Up With Proverbs is the current series. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email. She loves hearing what God is doing in your life!

[Judy Harder]

May 21, 2013
The Power of Your Prayers
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective, (James 5:16b, NIV).

Friend to Friend

G. Campbell Morgan tells a story about the power of one woman's prayers to stir a revival in her home church.

"There are saints of God who for long, long years have been shut off from all the activities of the Church, and even from the worship of the sanctuary, but who, nevertheless, have continued to labor together in prayer with the whole fellowship of the saints. There comes to me the thought of one woman who, to my knowledge, since 1872 in this great babble of London, has been in perpetual pain, and yet in constant prayer. She is today a woman twisted and distorted by suffering, and yet exhaling the calm and strength of the secret of the Most High.

"In 1872 she was a bed-ridden girl in the North of London, praying that God would send revival to the Church of which she was a member, and yet into which even then she never came. She had read in the little paper called Revival, which subsequently became, The Christian, the story of a work being done in Chicago among ragged children by a man called D.L. Moody. She had never seen Moody, but putting that little paper under her pillow, she began to pray, "O Lord, send this man to our Church." She had no means of reaching him or communicating with him. He had already visited the country in 1867, and in 1872 he started again for a short trip with no intention of doing any work.

" Mr. Lessey, however, the pastor of the church of which this girl was a member, met him and asked him to preach for him. He consented, and after the evening service he asked those who would decide for Christ to rise, and hundreds did so.  He was surprised and imagined that his request had been misunderstood. He repeated it more clearly, and again the response was the same.

"Meetings were continued through the following ten days, and four hundred members were taken into the church. In telling me this story Moody said, 'I wanted to know what this meant. I began making inquiries and never rested until I found a bed-ridden girl praying that God would bring me to that Church.  He (God) had heard her, and brought me over four thousand miles of land and sea in answer to her request.'"

One little crippled lamb by the name of Marianne Adlard, uttered fervent prayers to Almighty God on behalf of her flock and God sent a shepherd to gather the sheep from all around England. You may not feel that you have the ability to change the world for Christ, but consider this...one crippled girl impacted the world through her prayers. You can do the same. Amazing...the power of a woman's words to God in prayer!

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, thank You that You allow me to come into Your presence at any time. I confess that I do not pray enough. I confess that I do not take the power of prayer as seriously as I should. Help me to become a prayer warrior who intercedes for others. Teach me how to pray.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

As you pray for other people, consider praying Scripture for them. Turn to Philippians 1, Colossians 1, and Ephesians 1 to see how Paul prayed for fellow believers.

Now pick one of those passages and pray for 5 people in your life today.

Let's pray for each other. Click over to my blog page at www.sharonjaynes.com and leave a prayer request. Then pray for the request before you and after you.

More from the Girlfriends

I learned some time ago that what God had to say to me was much more important than what I had to say to God. Prayer is both speaking and listening to God. If you're having a difficult time listening to God or want to learn more about hearing His still small voice, check out my book, Becoming a Woman who Listens to God. You'll learn how God speaks, how to remove obstacles that block our ability to hear, and how to hear him more clearly.         

[Judy Harder]

May 22, 2013
How to Stay Young
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10, NIV).

Friend to Friend

In April, I will celebrate my 61st birthday! Honestly, I didn't think I would live this long. Seriously! Where have the years gone? It seems every day of life has been jam-packed full of both wonderful and horrible things I wondered if I would survive and yet, here I am, going strong and wondering why there always seems to be some kind of helicopter still landing in my life.

I have some advice for you, girlfriend. If you are a young woman, it really is true that you should cherish every day and every moment with your friends and family because the older you get, the quicker the days fly by. I look at my children who are married and having children of their own and wonder where all of those years went. How did this happen?

If you are an older woman, take a deep breath and celebrate the fact that you are breathing. I believe if you are alive, God has a purpose and plan for your life. Give yourself a pat on the back for your survival skills. Take a few moments to reflect on your life and don't get hung up on what might have been. Celebrate what is and what will be.

I have discovered some wonderful advantages to growing older and have learned some valuable lessons along the way. Each chapter of life seems to grow more exciting and I keep wondering when that "slow down" thing is going to kick in. I am no longer overly concerned with a lot of things that once kept me awake at night. There is great freedom in having paid a lot of "life dues" because I have already been there, done that and don't really care about getting the T-shirt.

I can say with authority that you probably will live through that crisis you think will be the death of you. What defines you today may very well seem ridiculous in ten years or even ten days. Stupidity will give way to wisdom learned the hard way. I now give myself permission to do or not do things I once would have felt compelled to do simply because it was someone's ridiculous expectation ... not God's plan. My audience has certainly changed over the years from the people who love to leer at me through the glass bowl in which I live to running the race of life for an audience of One.

Yes, there are moments when I have made a frenzied and desperate attempt to stay young. But then, why would I want to do that? There are many years of my life I really do not want to revisit and there is so much of my life now that I love. During one of those youth seeking moments, I came across the following list of ways to stay young and found it quite interesting.

How to Stay Young

1. Throw out non-essential numbers such as your age, weight and height.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. If you really need a grouch, there are probably family members to fill that need.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Just never let the brain idle.

4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young - that is all you can afford. When they are in college that is all you can afford. When they are grown, and you are on retirement, that is all you can afford.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person that is with us our entire life is ourselves.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies or whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country - but not guilt.

10. Tell the people you love how much you love them every chance you get. Never assume they know.

11. Don't worry about things you cannot change or do anything about. Accept them and move on.

12. Read more and dust less.

13. Spend more time with your family and friends and less time working.

14. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. Recognize these moments now and cherish them.

15. Do not "save" anything. Use your good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the next blossom of flowers you see.

16. Wear your best outfit to the market.

17. Don't save your good perfume for only special occasions. Use it even if you are going shopping or just to the bank.

18. "Someday" and "one of these days" should vanish from your vocabulary. If something is worth seeing, hearing or doing, go and see, hear or do it now.

What about you? Are you living each day to the fullest? Jesus is all about living an abundant life in the here and now ... whatever stage of life that might be for you. Jesus came so that we can live abundantly and eternally. Eternity began the moment you accepted Him as your Lord and Savior. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

Let's Pray

Father, I want to live life to the fullest. I want everything you have for me and don't want to miss a single blessing or trial that is for my good. Please help me keep my eyes on You and celebrate every day and all that it holds. I trust You, Lord, to work all things together for my good and Your glory.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Who or what is stealing the joy from your life?

What circumstance are you facing that you need to see through God's eyes and boldly trust Him for?

Look around. What can you find in your life to celebrate?

Are you living out God's purpose for your life or are you bowing to the wrong audience and listening to the wrong voices?

Today, make the decision to celebrate life and all God has for you.

Read Romans 8:28 and know God is at work to make your life exactly what He wants it to be.

More from the Girlfriends

As a pastor's wife, I have talked with so many women who feel as if they were worthless, a freakish accident. Listen, my friend, you were planned and wanted by God. God is crazy about you and wants an intimate relationship with you.  I pray that you will see yourself in the eyes of God, a chosen child. Need help? Check out one of Mary's MP3 downloads, Come as You Are to discover how to see yourself through the eyes of God.

Be sure to check out the FREE MP3s on Mary's website.

Need help getting the Word of God into your life? Check out Mary's Weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs, to learn how to seek and find the wisdom of God for daily life.

Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure? Get a copy of our new book, Trusting God. Connect with me by email or on Facebook.

[Judy Harder]

May 23, 2013
Grandma's Inheritance
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

Older women...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, (Titus 2:3,5 NASB).

Friend to Friend

As far as I can remember, my Grandma Edwards was always old. She didn't have many material possessions, but she had a sharp mind, a determined spirit, and buckets full of love. She was a small-framed woman who raised a family of five children during the depression by running a country general store and harvesting produce from her garden. Her waist-long, tightly braided hair wound around her head like a crown, and her teeth came out at night.

Another thing that always amazed me as a little girl was Grandma's undergarments. She wore knit baggy underwear that hung down to her knees and an equally attractive T-shirt to match. I never saw these undergarments anywhere except on Grandma's clothesline, so I decided there must be a special "Grandma store" that sold baggy underwear just for grandparents.

Grandma never drove a car, but she would ring up the grocery store and a box of supplies would magically appear on her back stoop. Grandma's house was filled with the aroma of strong coffee and fresh-baked biscuits. There was also the scent of salve, which was the cure-all for any ailment, and of snuff, which she would sneak between her cheek and gum when she thought I wasn't looking.

Each summer I would spend a week at Grandma's house. The highlight of our day was watching Perry Mason on her big black-and-white television. We drank Coca-Cola from cold glass bottles and ate peanut butter crackers. Grandma had a standing date with Perry each day. If someone "came a'callin' " during that time, they knew to pull up a chair, grab a Coke, and wait until the verdict was in before conversation could commence.

During my weeks with Grandma, there were no trips to fast-food restaurants or shopping sprees at the mall. That's just not what grandmas were for. So what did I do for seven days? I did what Grandma did (except dip snuff). I made biscuits, shelled lima beans, canned vegetables for the following winter, and learned how to sew.

When I was six-years-old, Grandma taught me how to turn a square piece of daisy-covered fabric into a gathered apron with a big bow in the back. At seven, we transformed a rectangular piece of floral cloth into a jumper with big ball buttons on the straps. At eight, we conquered the zipper.         

Without realizing it, my grandmother was being a Titus 2 woman. "Older women...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home." It was her inheritance to me.

Grandma didn't leave me a sum of money when she passed away, but she left something much more valuable. God used her to show me that leaving an inheritance to our children is so much more than money in the bank, well-invested mutual funds, and valuable heirlooms. It is leaving them memories of simple times together, showing them on how to become men and women of God, and leaving a legacy that causes them to "rise up and call you blessed."

What sort of legacy will you leave behind?

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, help me to leave a godly heritage and invest love today that will multiply tomorrow. Help me to always remember what is important—not money in the bank, but God in the heart. Help me to be the type of woman that we read about in Titus 2 who exemplifies what You desire.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Luke 1:36-45, 56 and note ways that Elizabeth encouraged Mary.

What are some ways that you can be an example to younger women in your sphere of influence?

Let's celebrate. Click over to my blog page and tell me the name of one woman who has been an example of a godly woman to you.

More from the Girlfriends

If you are a mother or grandmother, one of the most important things you can do is to pray for your children and grandchildren. I've created a small inexpensive laminated prayer card with Scripture to pray for children in the most important areas of their lives. And if you are a mom who needs a bit of encouragement, check out my book Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. It has been encouraging moms around the world for over ten years!

[Judy Harder]

May 24, 2013
Running to Win
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.(Philippians 3:12)

Friend To Friend

The year was 2008. The race started out like any other race: runners at the starting line, fans in the stands, excitement and anticipation thick in the air. But this race was a big one. An indoor track and field conference championship for the collegiate women's 600-meter run.

At the sound of the gun, the runners took off – each with a heart longing to win the race – each competing fiercely for the prize. Just three quick laps stood between the four athletes and their destinies. It was clear from the beginning, this race would be tight.

My family and I watched on an Internet video as the long and lean runners vied for the lead. In unison, we gasped with horror when, as they began the final lap, one of the competitors caught the slightest edge of another runner's shoe and went crashing down onto the track. My heart sunk when she fell. I didn't know this fallen woman, but I do know what it feels like to fall and to have your hopes dissolve in a split second. I felt the despair of the crash with her.

The fans in the crowd all stood to their feet and rallied cries of encouragement to this young runner. The seconds that followed will be etched into my heart and mind forever. She could've walked off the track and everyone would've understood. She could've thrown in the towel and quit the race in humiliation and defeat. But she didn't quit. She got up and kept running. Now a full quarter-lap behind the other runners, this athlete fixed her eyes on the track before her and ran like the wind.

With just half a lap to go, this determined young woman overtook third place. Unbelievable. The crowd swelled with amazement. Then, just a hundred yards before the finish line, she inched up to the other two runners and – at the tape – leaned forward to win the race! No. Stinkin.' Way. The crowd went wild. My family went wild. What a race! What a fall! What a recovery! What a victory!

The next day, as I took my teenaged son to school, he and I had trouble connecting. I was frustrated with him; he was frustrated with me, and what I'd hoped would be a warm send off to a great day became an icy goodbye as he got out of the car. I felt like a loser-mom and lamented to God about it on the drive home. As I poured out my frustrations in prayer, the Lord reminded me of the race.

Like the young runner, I got tripped up on the shoes of another and fell down mid-race. Now, I had a choice. I could stew and lick my mama-wounds, allowing the disappointments to keep me from running, or I could call on the grace of the Lord, put one foot in front of another, and get back in the race. The writer of Hebrews talks about a cloud of witnesses that encourages others in faith, and as I prayed I could almost hear them cheering me on.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Game. On.

I got back up. I chose to run again by asking the Lord for the grace and strength to finish the day strong in Him. By the time my son got home from school we had both cooled down. Grace ran before us. I asked him to forgive me for frustrating him and he did the same.

We all run. We all fall. Each day presents us with fresh opportunities to allow the mercy, strength and grace of God to intervene in our lives. When writing to the church of Philippi about the discipline of perseverance, the apostle Paul said this:

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. (Philippians 3:10-16)

So whatever you face today, friend, run. Run to win the prize. Run like the wind. And when you fall; don't throw in the towel, don't point fingers, don't stew, and don't quit. Get right back up and run again... in the mercy, strength and grace of God.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord,

Thanks for being a God of second chances and eternal grace! Please help me to run in your mercy and strength today.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Grab your Bible and read the book of Philippians today. It's only four chapters long. You can do it! It will bless your socks off! If you don't have time to read the whole thing right now, then read a chapter a day for the next four days. Then swing by my blogand let me know what stirred your heart the most.

Look up Isaiah 40:28-31 and fill in the following blank spaces:

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the ­­­­______________ ______, the _______________ of the ends of the earth. He will not grow ________ or ___________, and his __________________ no one can fathom. He gives ________________ to the _______________and increases the ____________ of the ____________. Even youths grow _____________ and ____________, and young men _____________ and _____; but those who _________ in the LORD will ___________ their _____________. They will _________ on wings like eagles; they will _______ and not grow weary, they will ___________ and not be ______________."

More From The Girlfriends

Are you running to win? I encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus and run hard in His grace today. Music often helps set my heart and affections on Him. My latest CD, Uncluttered, offers songs that are purposed to center your heart and mind on Christ. You can order a copy from my website or download songs from Uncluttered on iTunes.

Need help getting back in the race?Watch the music video to Gwen's song, Uncluttered. Here's the link: Uncluttered Music Video

[Judy Harder]

May 27, 2013
Watch Your Steps
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit, (Galatians 5:16, 25 NKJV).

Friend to Friend

Rachel and I sat on weatherworn steps leading down to a pristine beach. We had a front row seat as the morning sun stretched its arms over the horizon. She was hurting. I was attempting to love her back to health. Salty air. Salty ocean. Salty friend. It is hard to beat that combination when you're soul sick.

Rachel's life had taken some unexpected turns. Let me rephrase that. It wasn't that her life "had taken" some unexpected turns, as if she had nothing to do with it. She had strayed from God's path, and she had taken some unexpected turns. She had given in to sexual temptation, and as a result, had lost her marriage, the trust of her children, and many of her friends.  She had lost her true self.

As we sat on the bottom step with our toes buried in the cool sand, we stared out at the glassy ocean and pristine beach. It was if Jesus had spoken, "Peace, be still," and the wind and waves obeyed. The sand, airbrushed smooth by the night breeze, had not yet been disturbed by vacationers' feet, kids' buckets and sunbathers' chairs.

Rachel spotted a set of tire tracks running close to the water's edge. Four shallow ruts. Parallel indentations. Ruts that never deviated in distance one from the other, as far as the eye could see. If one swerved, they all swerved in union

"I wish life were like that," she whispered.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like those tire tracks," she replied.  "Us and God. God and me. Always moving in tandem. Side-by-side.  Hooked together. Moving in same direction. Connected. Easy. Perfectly aligned."

We sat in silence, staring at the tracks, both knowing the reason her tracks had deviated from God's. She had detached herself from the Master chassis and made tracks of her own. She had willingly let go of God's hand and walked away.

The Christian life is often referred to our spiritual walk. "Walk by faith and not by sight," Paul encouraged the Corinthian church (2 Corinthians 5:7 NASB). The NIV translates this same verse, "For we live by faith, not by sight."

Paul wrote to the Galatians, "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit," (Galatians 5:16, 25 NKJV). Again, the NIV translates these same words: "So I say, walk by the Spirit,and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Since we live by the Spirit,let us keep in step with the Spirit." I love the idea of keeping in step with the Holy Spirit. What a wonderful way to live life...walking in step and keeping time with the Holy Spirit's pace.

You face decisions throughout your day that determine whether you walk in tandem with Jesus, or in sync with the world. Steps become a lifestyle; a lifestyle becomes a legacy. So watch your steps and leave a legacy with no regrets.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, help me to walk in tandem with You today. Forgive me for the times I've wandered away and rebelled against You. Thank You for Your mercy and grace that allowed me to return. Help me choose my steps carefully today.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

I don't know where you are in your walk with God today, but if you are not where you want to be, His hand is extended to draw you back on the right path.

One of my favorite old gospel songs is Just a Closer Walk with Thee. Meditate on these words today, and if you know the tune, sing it right where you are!

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

I am weak, but Thou art strong,
Jesus, keep me from all wrong,
I'll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o'er,
Time for me will be no more,
Guide me gently, safely o'er
To Thy kingdom's shore, to Thy shore.

If the words to this song are your prayer, click over to my blog and say, "Let it be, dear Lord, let it be."

More from the Girlfriends
Want to know more about how to have an intimate walk with Jesus? Then check out my book, A Sudden Glory: God's Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. If you feel far from God, this book will help bring you back.

[Judy Harder]

May 28, 2013
There's a Snag in My Nag
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (Proverbs 21:19).

Friend to Friend

My nerves were raw because of the faint, repetitive sound in the background of our conversation. As I sat in my parents' kitchen talking to my mom, the faucet behind her was dripping... and dripping... and dripping.

It. Drove. Me. Bananas.

I got up and tightened the handle.

It didn't help.

I wanted to grab the nearest screwdriver and fix it. But, I couldn't. I'm not a sink-fixer. I cannot express to you how severely lacking my sink-fixing skills are. And although I'm sure there is an online instructional video that could teach me how to fix that faucet in five quick steps, I had neither the desire to learn nor the patience to try.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Isn't it amazing how something so small and seemingly insignificant can bother us? It was torture! I left the room. I had to. I needed to get away from the sound of the drip.

Once I composed myself, I got to thinking. The Bible compares this type of drip to a quarrelsome and nagging woman. The MESSAGE paraphrase of Proverbs 27:15 reads, "A nagging spouse is like
the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can't turn it off, 
and you can't get away from it." Likewise, the NIV version of Proverbs 19:13 says, "...a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof."

The word "nag" is defined by Webster's Online dictionary this way:

to find fault incessantly: complain
to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction
to irritate by constant scolding or urging
Zinger!

Obviously, this behavior is not gender specific – men can surely nag and be quarrelsome too. Whether the behavior comes from a man or a woman, a friend or a foe, the impact is universal: nagging is a negative behavior that drives people to frustration, drives others away, and does not bring glory to God. Period.

I wonder how many times we drive our husbands, our co-workers, our children, our friends or even our acquaintances away because of nagging or quarrelsome behavior?  Are we even aware of it in our own lives? Do we justify it or brush it off when another person fails to meet our expectations?

Am I stepping on some toes here? I assure you, mine are bearing the weight too. Oh, how we can complain and vie for control. Our expectations of others so stir us up: how we think they should act, communicate, behave, respond, and dress.Blah. Blah. Blah. The truth of the matter is, we cannot choose behavior for others, but we can choose for ourselves.

We can choose to walk worthy of our calling in Christ. (Colossians 1:10) We can choose to call on God so that His Spirit can be evidenced in and through us in the spiritual discipline of self-control. Nagging fuels the fire of contention and frustration. Quarreling does the same. But don't take my word for it... take God's Word for it!

"As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife." (Proverbs 26:21)

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people." (Philippians 2:14-15)

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

So you see? There's a snag in our nag! We can try to justify nagging all we want, but when push comes to shove, it is not a behavior that is supported by Scripture. Say it with me, "There's a snag in my nag!"

In light of this, what will your behavior look like next time you are tempted to nag, quarrel, complain, or attempt to control another? Here are a few ideas to help eliminate our drips:

Replace nagging with prayer. (Not with: "Lord, change him or her!" But with: Lord change me. Help me. Strengthen me. Give me Your grace. Give me Your wisdom.")

Leave the room or conversation if possible or appropriate. (Don't even give yourself a chance to get the words out!)

Change what you can control: your response.

Eventually, my parents got their leaky faucet fixed. I'm still working on my leak, but with God's help, I know I can do all things. We all can. Would you join me today in asking God to help us honor Him with our words and responses?

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, Please forgive me for the times when I have attempted to control my circumstances and other people through nagging and quarreling. Forgive me for the times when complaining has been my response. Help me to sift my words and my thoughts through Your grace. Help me grow in You and show You in all I do.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Now It's Your Turn

Where does this find you today? Spend time journaling and praying about this.

Need prayer? Click over to my blog and leave a prayer request in the comments section. Then pause to pray for some of the other prayer needs on my wall.

More from the Girlfriends

One of the best ways we can avoid ungodly behaviors is to fix our hearts and minds on Jesus. Ready to fix your heart in his strength? I'm living proof that it is possible for anyone. God delights to deliver us from our hard places in and through the pain. Experience God's healing and hope in your life today as you read Broken Into Beautiful. To order the book, go to Amazon, your favorite Christian bookstore, or for a signed copy, order from Gwen's store.

Gwen's website is filled with videos, posts, songs and resources that will be a deep well of encouragement to you. Please swing by to visit: www.GwenSmith.net. (Get a FREE song download when you sign up for her newsletter!)


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http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nagging