Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

January 8, 2013

Coming Out of the Dark
Part 2
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Isaiah 45:3 "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

Friend to Friend

Children are wonderfully different. When our son, Jered, was nine months old, he began to pull up on every piece of furniture he could find. For weeks, he maneuvered his way around our home until the day he took his first step alone. It was a step of inches, but we celebrated as if he had completed a marathon. On the other hand, our daughter, Danna, had a different plan. She never pulled up on a piece of furniture and never took "a" step. When she was ten months old, Danna stood up, looked around and trotted across the room. Jered and Danna both walk extremely well today as young adults, but they both began with tiny steps and in their own way.

Nobody gets depressed overnight and nobody overcomes depression overnight. The journey out of the pit is a process of steps uniquely planned by your Father. Let's look at some of the steps we must take in order to find our way out of the dark.

1.  Wait.  The psalmist simply says,"I waited." Waiting is not passive. Waiting is a time of preparation, a time of rest and healing, a time when God covers us with the shadow of His wing.

To wait means to accept the pit.
Isaiah 45:3 is a compelling verse, "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

Any time the word, "LORD" is capitalized, it means "Father" or "Dearest Daddy." This verse indicates that our Father has gone before us and, in every dark moment or painful circumstance, has buried a treasure or stored a secret. The only way we can find the treasure or learn the secret is to pass through that darkness. Some things cannot be learned in the light. The pit of depression has become a hedge of protection in my life, a warning light that something is wrong or out of balance. To wait means to accept the pit, knowing it is for our good.

To wait means to admit there is a problem.  Isaiah 40:29 "He gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak."       
We must be willing to admit we are struggling, but pride often prevents us from doing so. Emotional health begins at the point of emotional integrity, being willing to say, "I need help!" and being honest with ourselves and with others. When clinical depression first overwhelmed my life, my husband, Dan, was the pastor of a large, fast-growing church in South Florida. We could choose to be transparent and real or we could sweep my struggle under the rug. We concluded that to be right, we had to be real. Dan and I shared my battle with the staff, the deacons and then with the entire church. Yes, we took a risk but learned an important lesson in doing so. A shared load is a lighter load because we were created to need each other.                         

To wait means to be still. "I waited." To wait means to hope in and look for someone or something that will rescue us.
So much about God can never be known on the run. We can get so wrapped up in everyday life that we fail to be wrapped up in Him. The busier we are, the more stillness and rest we need. During those two years in the pit, I not only gave up every role of leadership in church, I could not even attend church at times because of panic attacks. The Father taught me an important truth. He is more concerned with who I am than what I do.

2. Cry out for help.  Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry."

People struggling with depression often look for help in the wrong places. Let me share with you some of the rightplaces.

God. Your Fatherstands waiting to hear your voice; and when you cry out to Him, He comes running – through His Word, through prayer and through His people. There was a terrible storm and the little girl was afraid. When she cried out in fear, her father came running down the hall, into the bedroom and scooped her up in his arms as he said, "Honey, God will take care of you." The tearful child replied, "I know God loves me and will take care of me but right now, I need somebody with skin on." If you cry out to God, He will come to you in some way.
Doctors and counselors. Proverbs 15:22 gives us an important truth when it says, "Plans go wrong with too few counselors; many counselors bring success." I encourage anyone experiencing depression to get a physical because depression is often rooted in a physical problem, requiring medication. The medication does not eliminate the depression but simply levels the playing field so whatever is triggering the depression can be addressed. Christian counselors are a gift from God. He knew we would need them.
Others. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 instructs us to "encourage each other and give each other strength." I would never have survived the pit of clinical depression without the help and encouragement of family and friends. Members of our church brought meals, cleaned house and helped take care of our kids.  The deacons were guardian angels at church and other women took my place in leadership. I would still be in that pit if it were not for these people who helped rescue me. Has it affected their opinion of me? Yes! It has shown them that I am just like them and has given them permission to face their own weaknesses. You may be thinking, "I have no one in my life that will help me." If you cry out to God, He will bring you help.
3.  Count on God to come through.  One of the promises I clung to while sitting in the darkness of depression was Psalm 107:13-14  "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains." The Psalmist promises that when you cry out to God, He will:

"lift you up out of the slimy pit"
"set your feet on a rock"
"give you a new place to stand"
"put a new song in your heart"
"use your pit so that others will "see and trust God"
God is drawn to broken people. Psalm 40:1 says, "He turned to me." Notice it does not say David turned to God. Honestly, I doubt David had the strength to turn to God – so God turned to him. God heard the cry of David, and He will hear yours. I was angry with God but He never turned away from me. Instead, He surrounded me with His love and compassion and as Psalm 56:8 promises, He knew every tear I cried. "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." You can count on God to come through.

4.  Be patient. "I waited patiently for the Lord." The word "patiently" means "without tiring and with perseverance." To come out of the darkness takes time and requires patience. It took me many years to hit rock bottom. It took me two years to climb out of that pit and I am still climbing. Yes, I still battle depression from time to time. I have asked God to deliver me, but He has said "no." Do you know what my name, Mary, means -- bitter, but when broken, sweet. Depression keeps me broken and anything that makes me cry out to God can be counted as a blessing. When we come to the end of ourselves, God begins.   

The story is told of a little boy who was walking home when he spotted a caterpillar struggling to get out of its cocoon. Feeling sorry for the helpless creature, the little boy ran home, grabbed a pair of scissors and ran back to cut the caterpillar free. He watched it spread its wings and try to fly, only to discover that it couldn't. It is in the struggle out of the darkness of the cocoon that the butterfly's wings gain enough strength to fly. Be patient.  I don't know if you are in a pit and need help or if someone you love is in that pit and in need of your help. One thing I do know is that the purpose of the pit is to purify then restore. Right now, surrender the broken pieces of your life to God and watch as he brings you out of the dark. Do not quit!  Do not give up! God is at work in your life.

Philippians 1:6  "And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns."

Let's Pray

Father God, my heart is filled with chaos and confusion. I feel as if I am drowning in my circumstances, my heart filled with fear and confusion. I need the strength and peace that only You can give. Right now, I choose to rest in You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Philippians 4:7 (NIV) "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Make a list of the dark places in your life today. Surrender each one to God. Ask Him to bring light into your heart and mind and help you walk in His peace. Now, walk in that peace today. When the waves of darkness come, remember each one now belongs to your Father.

More from the Girlfriends

Can you believe 2013 is here, like a clean slate filled with new beginnings and fresh starts? However, what did we learn in 2012 that will make a difference in 2013? As the holiday season winds down, I pray your heart and mind will look ahead to all that this year holds. Guard your heart and mind against darkness. Stand firm in God's power and presence. He is faithful and He is sufficient for whatever tomorrow brings. For more help and practical ways to deal with depression in your own life or in the life of someone you love, check out Mary's book, Hope in the Midst of Depression.

Need help getting the Word of God into your life? Check out Mary's Weekly Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey to explore the book of Proverbs in her new study, Power Up With Proverbs beginning January 14.

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Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
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[Judy Harder]

January 9, 2013

Disappointment with God
Part 1
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful, (Psalm 25:10 NIV).

Friend to Friend

I sat on the floor playing a card game with my young son. It was shaping up to be one of the best summers ever. Steven was savoring every minute of the long hot days, our Golden Retriever, Ginger, had delivered seven adorable puppies, and after years of negative pregnancy tests and doctor visits, I had a new life growing in my womb.

In the middle of enjoying the moment with Steven, I felt a warm, sticky sensation that made my world stand still. A trip to the bathroom confirmed my greatest fear.

Later that day, as I sat in the doctor's office listening to his condolences for the loss of this much-prayed-for child, all I could think of was God, how could you?

I drove home. Climbed into bed. Pulled the covers over my empty womb and my empty heart and cried. I was mad at God. If this is how You love me, then forget it. I gave God the silent treatment as if I could somehow pay Him back.

God and I had a lover's quarrel that summer. Actually, I was the only one arguing. I was mad. I was hurt. I felt betrayed by the One who was supposed to love me most. But He stayed right by my side, waiting, wooing, and eventually drawing my broken heart back so that He could heal it once again. His passionate pursuit and relentless romance continued.

Even though I was mad at God, I knew in the deepest parts of me, that He did love me and that He was somehow going to use all this pain for good—but I sure didn't like it.

Ann Voskamp, in her book One Thousand Gifts, wrote: "I wonder...if the rent in the canvas of our life's backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. To see through to God." This was a see-through place, but until I opened my eyes, I would not see God.

Could it be that the puncture wounds in the canvas of your life—the losses, the disappointments, the crushing blows—might actually become the rent places of the soul through which you can see God? Through which you can peer beyond your earthly trappings into glory moments beyond? Through which you can see His light bursting through the openings? I believe they could be.

How do we allow life's difficulties to become see-through places? How do we begin to see moments of sudden glory burst through the puncture holes in the black backdrop of our greatest disappointments and pain?

Join me tomorrow as we look at this tough question together. For now, ponder today's truth:  "All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful."

Let's Pray

God, I'll admit, sometimes I get mad at You. Sometimes I am disappointed. Please forgive me. I know You always have my best interest in mind. Even in tragedy I trust You. As David said in Psalm 25:10, "All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful," whether I understand them or not.

Trusting You,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Today is a toughie. What is one time you were disappointed in God?

What lessons did you learn from the disappointment?

How are you more like Jesus because that particular issue didn't turn out like you thought it would?

Consider writing Psalm 25:10 on a note card and committing it to memory. If you'll commit to memorizing it with me, click over to my blog page at www.sharonjaynes.com or my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and leave a comment that says, "I'm in."

More from the Girlfriends

Sometimes the most glorious moments of seeing God occur on the dark backdrop of difficulty. If you long for something more in your relationship with God, it could be that He has a boatload of blessings to show you...if you'll just open your eyes to see. Want to learn more? Check out my book A Sudden Glory: God's Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. And if you'd like to learn more about how to use what you've gone through in the past to minister to others in your present, then check out Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past. You're not alone, girlfriend.  God has an amazing plan!

[Judy Harder]

January 10, 2013
Disappointment with God
Part 2
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18).

Friend to Friend

As you live and move and have your being in Christ, at some point, difficult days will come. We live in a fallen world, and suffering is simply a part of it. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble," (John 16:33). It's a sure thing.

When we experience shattered dreams, broken relationships, tragic losses, or unfulfilled longings, it can be difficult to feel God's presence, to see His hand, and to hear His voice. Glory moments cease when we close our eyes in pain and tune God out in anger. That doesn't mean that God is not there. It only means that the sadness in our own hearts has drawn the shades and locked the doors. We question whether or not we even want to live in union with God if this is where the path leads. We tend to wriggle out of His arms like an angry child or slip out of His embrace like a disgruntled lover, all the while hoping He will pull us back in and tell us that we have simply misunderstood.

Men and women throughout the Bible voiced their disappointment when God didn't act as they had hoped. David cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?" (Psalm 22:1). Habakkuk cried out: "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?" (Habakkuk 1:2). Even Jesus, when he hung on that cruel Roman cross, did not call out the comforting words of the Twenty-third Psalm, but the agonizing words of the Twenty-second.

Philip Yancey, in his book, Disappointment with God says, "The words of the prophets sound like the words of a lovers' quarrel drifting through thin apartment walls." I've read the words. I've heard the words. I've said the words.

And while we complain of God's silence or seeming indifference during difficult times, He is always there working behind the scenes in ways we may never understand.

In the Bible, we catch glimpses of God's veiled activity among men. Daniel prayed for three weeks while God appeared to be silent. Finally an angel showed up and explained his delay—a demon, the prince of the Persian kingdom, fought with him and held him back for twenty-one days (Daniel 10).

In another incident, the prophet Elisha and his servant were surrounded by Aramean enemies. Elisha's servant was terrified and thought they were surely doomed. Elisha very calmly reassured him: "Don't be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Then he asked God to lift the curtain of the spiritual realm and reveal the truth of the situation. "Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha" (2 Kings 6:15-18).  Talk about sudden glory!

Three months after the loss of my second child, I broke my silence with God and prayed a prayer similar to Elisha's. "Oh God, please open my eyes to see Your glory in this situation. If I could just see her. Please Lord, give me a glimpse.

And then God pulled back the curtain in my mind and I envisioned this child, healthy and whole and playing at the feet of Jesus. She was surrounded by God's glory face-to-face. Radiant resplendent glory. Not an ounce of glory ache to be seen.

Glory moments do not require a physical vision, but a spiritual revelation—an understanding of a greater reality than this physical world in which we live. The unseen world is very real, and while we may not see God's activity with our physical eyes, we can be assured of His provision and protection in ways we may never understand. When He said, "I will never leave you or forsake you," He meant it.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen (our circumstances), but on what is unseen (God's presence). For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18, parentheses mine). One day, it will all make sense. Until then...we trust. And when we have the faith to keep our eyes open during the dark times, God will scatter moments of sudden glory like stars in the inky sky. We hold fast and continue practicing Acts 17:28—even when we aren't sure where that may lead.

Let's Pray

Lord, sometimes I just don't get it, but that's OK. I don't have to "get it." I don't have to understand. But I trust You. I know Your ways are higher than my ways. So I unfurl my fingers and release the tight grip I have on my circumstances. I give them to You. I am looking for moments of sudden glory...Your presence...in the confusing circumstances of my life.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Ready for a little finger exercises today? Here's what I want you to do:

1.    Ball up your fist and think of a worry or concern you're holding onto.

2.    Give it a name.

3.    Unfurl your fingers, open up your hand, and lift it to God saying, "I give this to You.

4.    Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I think that's an exercise we ought to do often.

Did you do it? Let me know how many times you repeated this finger exercise today?

More from the Girlfriends

Sometimes it is hard to let go, isn't it? Truly, it is a matter of trust. Gwen, Mary and I have written a wonderful book titled Trusting God.It's is a 12-week devotion book dedicated to that one single topic. If you enjoy our devotions, you will LOVE our book, Trusting God. And we even have free videos on-line to go with each of the 12 weeks. So gather some girlfriends and learn about how to trust God together.

[Judy Harder]

January 11, 2013

Measuring Up

Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

Friend to Friend

My girlfriend Denise is a knockout. She's got the whole beauty package going on. She's tall, slender, athletic, bright, and funny. To know her is to love her. But she is so pretty that if you didn't know her, you might love to hate her. Kind of like the supermodels.

Denise is a former model and gymnast who lived much of her life in the shadow of perfection's impossible measuring stick. She grew up in a small town just outside of Cleveland, Ohio, and made a decision for Christ as a child. Though she was a believer, Denise still struggled with common issues of measuring up.

"It was very important to me to be well-liked and to be very successful in every aspect of my life," she said. "My family strived to be the ideal, all-American family. I worked hard to have great grades, be a great athlete, and wear the right clothes; to overachieve. As a model and gymnast, body type and strength were very important to winning, as well as to my identity."

By nature, Denise is competitive. Most would refer to her personality as type-A. A go-getter. A perfectionist. She's the kind of girl you want on your team: determined, focused, and disciplined. Her quest to be the best, however, left Denise feeling helpless and unsuccessful. Even though she was a fierce competitor as a gymnast, she never felt she was good enough. For years, Denise tried to control the circumstances and the people in her life in an attempt to make things perfect. Eventually, her pursuit of perfection got Denise into a heap of trouble. As Edwin Bliss has said, "The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time."

As a high school gymnast, Denise dealt with the pressures to measure up in a destructive way. She became bulimic. She wanted to be in control of her body and manage her weight but she became enslaved to an addictive and damaging behavior. She was a Christian girl who knew that God loved her. She had been told that she was beautiful to Him, but for a season of her life, Denise didn't consider that enough. At first, to her delight, Denise's bulimia resulted in weight loss. Keeping extra weight off allowed her to be competitive in the gym and to look good. She wasn't alone. Most of her teammates had eating disorders too.

"What I thought was just a phase became my way of life," Denise remembers.

Her destructive behavior followed her to college. Denise thought she was in control of the bulimia, but eventually realized that bulimia was in control of her. It consumed her thoughts. It swung the gates of deception wide open for the enemy to stroll right through. He laughed all the way, because he had her right where he wanted her.

Negative self-talk filled her head. A thought as simple as, "I'm a little bit nervous about teaching this fitness class," would snowball into, "You are so fat. You should never have eaten all that food this afternoon. You're such an idiot! You won't even be able to get through this class." The voice in her head constantly told her she didn't measure up.

"If I heard ninety nine positive comments about myself and one negative comment, I couldn't let the one negative comment go," she said. "I illuminated my failures and shortcomings instead of celebrating my successes."

During that time, she constantly talked about her body...about how awful it was. Denise says it was as if a ticker tape was filling her mind with a steady stream of negative thoughts and beating her down.

She prayed, "Lord, help me find a way to cut that ticker tape. I need a reprieve." God eventually did cut it with truth, but it took a while for Denise to learn to recognize Satan's lies for what they were.

The Lord placed many Christian friends in Denise's path who encouraged her to see a counselor. She went, though she still wanted her way more than God's way. The counselor told her that she must want to be healed of her eating disorder. She needed motivation to change. Denise lacked the motivation until she went home for fall break and finally hit rock bottom.

A Time for Change

Denise was consumed with being fit. Each day of break was another opportunity to strive for physical perfection, and she trained hard. She had been fasting for a few days—something she relished because of the dramatic physical results, not for the spiritual benefits the Bible speaks of—and then ate something. The ticker in her mind told her that she should feel terrible about eating, so Denise went upstairs and made herself throw up. Her body had grown so weak that she fell to the floor before making it to her bed.

Her brother found her on the floor crying and completely out of it.

Denise's brother, who suffers from a mild form of cerebral palsy and has struggled to overcome the challenges of his disability, was alarmed and angry. Once Denise was able to get up from the floor, her brother confronted her with strong words that became a catalyst of change in her life.

"I have worked all my life to overcome my physical deformity," he said. "And here you are intentionally destroying yourself."

It was true and she knew it.

In that moment, Denise felt the weight of truth, and finally crumbled. Her previous casual attempts to allow God to intervene were now replaced with sincere cries for help. She needed to change and she needed God's help for the change to happen. She needed Him to consume her thoughts and transform her mind. She needed Him desperately.

Denise had known the truth from the beginning. She just resisted it. She knew that bulimia was destructive, but the pressures of the world had a greater hold on her.

When she turned to Jesus for help, He began to transform her from the inside out. As a child, Denise gave her heart to Jesus. As an adult, she surrenderedher life to Him. There's a big difference. In the surrendering, Denise found healing for the bulimia and emotional freedom from the need to measure up to the world's standard of perfection.

Her healing took time. It progressed slowly. God used His Word, Christian counseling, and friends to replace lies with His truth. Denise has experienced full healing through the strength of the Lord and now regularly shares her story with women and young girls.

Healing begins when we hold tightly to the truth of God and allow the truth of God to hold tightly to us. God gives each of us the freedom to accept or reject His way. When we lean into His truth, we are less likely to conform to the world. His truth, His Word can be the light for each step we take. It illuminates the path that leads to His heart. God's Word transforms. The apostle Paul said, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2a).

We live in a competitive world. The pressures to be thin, beautiful, fit, smart, sexy, funny, rich, and popular trap us in a relentless vise-grip. Denise's story isn't much different from yours or mine. You don't need to be a model or a gymnast to get trapped in a disorder or an addictive lifestyle. You could be a college student, a businesswoman, a nurse, a mom, a dance instructor, a retail clerk, or a Sunday school teacher. No one is exempt. Feelings of inadequacy and inferiority ravage hearts of Christians and non-Christians alike.

Our attempts to measure up are all-consuming traps. They focus our attention inward verses upward, just as they did with Denise. When we get caught in the trap of striving to measure up, we focus on ourselves. That was never God's plan. We were designed to focus on Him. Shifting our attention from ourselves to God will change our perspective. God longs for our obsession to be Him.

"I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols" (Isaiah 42:.

Let's Pray

Dear God, please renew and transform me from the inside out! When feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and self-doubt creep into my heart, help me to see myself the way you do. I want to be held tightly by your truth.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

There's a line in the song "Broken into Beautiful" that says: "We live with accusations, sometimes heavy expectations that tell us we can never measure up. And yet You repeat with mercy that in Your eyes we are worthy, 'til at last we see how much we're loved."[ii]

How does this speak to you today? Do you really know how much you're loved? Pray about it and journal if you're the journaling type... then let's meet on my Facebook page to talk about it and pray through it together. www.Facebook.com/GwenSmithMusic.

More from the Girlfriends

Did today's message resonate with your heart? Learn how God wants to bring you beyond your past mistakes and your present challenges to His wholeness, strength and beauty. Broken into Beautiful is a book filled with stories – real stories ... gritty and honest, not cleaned up and phony. It's also filled with Scripture that will inspire you toward the life-changing grace of Jesus. To order the book, go to Amazon or, for a signed copy, visit Gwen's website.

Girlfriend! Grab yourself some chocolate and let's celebrate! Gwen has a brand NEW website filled with videos, posts, songs and resources that we believe will be a deep well of encouragement to you. Please swing by to visit: www.GwenSmith.net. (Get afree song download when you sign up for her newsletter!)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim Hansel, Eating Problems for Breakfast, (Word Publishing, 1988) page 39.



[ii] Featured on Unsearchable, and also on the Because CD by Gwen Smith (www.GwenSmith.net) © Sunday Best Music/ (ASCAP) Newspring, a division of Zomba Enterprises, Inc. (ASCAP)/ CCTB Music (ASCAP). All right OBO CCTB. Music administered by New Spring. Used by permission.

[Judy Harder]

January 14, 2013
God Sees Your Disappointment
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet without sin, (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).

Friend to Friend

Let's face it. People let us down. They disappoint us. And so does God. Often our experiences fall short of our expectations for God to meet all our needs the way we think He should, and like a lover who has been wronged, we tend to guard our hearts against future disappointment by lowering our expectations and trust. But make no mistake about it, God sees. God understands. He is not aloof.

One day I was sitting on the patio with my friend Beth and her stepfather, Sam, waiting for the grill to heat up before placing steaks on to cook. Beth's mom opened the door and gave Sam his orders—telling him what to do and how to do it. When she went back inside, Sam made a hand signal, pointing in one ear and out the other. We all three laughed. Then he placed his ruddy hand on Beth's arm, a hand worn by years of working under the hood of cars of every make and model.

"She was pretty hard on you growing up, wasn't she?" he asked.

"You have no idea," Beth answered with a sigh.

But Sam did have an idea. He understood. And that one simple gesture let her know that he had peered into her heart and had seen the truth. The weathered, uneducated country mechanic had looked under the hood of her heart with wisdom and seen the damaged engine within. A heart, though healed by Christ, that still felt the phantom pains of a little girl who felt she was never good enough, who was constantly told what to do and how to do it—and who never did it quite right. Sam saw her heart, and for that, Beth loved him. And so did I.

How like God. He places His hand on your shoulders, looks into your eyes, and lets you know that He understands. "I see you," He says. "I see what you are going through." Like Hagar who experienced a sudden glory moment with God in the desert; we too can know God as El Roi, "the God who sees me," (Genesis 16:13).

The book of Hebrews tells us that we have a High Priest, Jesus, who understands what we are going through. He "sympathizes" with our weakness (Hebrews 4:15). The word "sympathizes" comes from two Greek words, smy andpathos, meaning, "suffer with."  We are not alone in our suffering and there are glory moments to be found in the dark if we will keep our eyes open to see.

God did not write the story of your life and then sit back to watch it play out. He is in the story with you. As a matter of fact, He has the leading role. Oh, we try to butt in and take the spotlight. We try to push Him out of the way and take over the lead. But when we get to heaven and look at the playbill, we will see that God had the leading role all along, and our names were there in supporting roles as a display of His glory.

Let's Pray

Lord, I am so thankful that I have a High Priest, Jesus, who sees me, who prays for me, and who understands exactly what I'm going through. Help me to rest in the assurance that I am not alone, but in Your capable hands.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read the story of Hagar in Genesis 16.

What did she call God after He appeared to her and encouraged her?

How does it make you feel to know that God sees you? Chime in on my blog post at www.sharonjaynes.com  of this devotion and let me know.

I'll go first: It makes me feel known.

More from the Girlfriends

If this devotion touched your heart, chances are you've got some hurt in your life. So let's don't waste our sorrows! What are you doing with the hurt? Using it for good? Picking at the scab and not letting it heal? Tough questions. If you're ready to heal and use what you've gone through for good, then see my book, Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past.It's time to turn that pain into purpose!

[Judy Harder]

January 15, 2013
Doubt Your Doubts
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Billy Graham once said, "Most of us do not understand nuclear fission, but we accept it. I don't understand television, but I accept it. I don't understand radio, but every week my voice goes out around the world, and I accept it. Why is it so easy to accept all these man-made miracles and so difficult to accept the miracles of the Bible?"

Faith is a personal issue and often demands that we give up what we can see   for what we cannot see, but just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. Let me share some ways to weaken your doubts and strengthen your faith:

Read the Bible consistently.
Romans 10:17  "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God."

You may have heard the familiar Old Chinese saying, "There is a good dog and a bad dog fighting within each of us. The one that is going to win is the one we feed the most." The same is true when it comes to faith and doubt. We weaken our doubt by strengthening our faith in God. The Word of God feeds the new nature God gives us when we surrender our life to Him. As that new nature grows stronger, the old sinful nature becomes weaker and as that old nature becomes weaker, faith in God grows. A steady diet of the Word produces strong faith. Read the Bible each day. Memorize a verse of Scripture each week.

Turn to God constantly.
Mark 9:14-29  tells of the man who brings his demon-possessed son to Jesus Christ and pleads, "If you can do anything, take pit on us and help us." Jesus responds, "If I can! All things are possible to him who believes." The dad exclaimed, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!"

Sounds just like us. We believe, but we also doubt. In those moments, we must be honest enough to cry out to God. Jesus didn't punish this man for his doubt. He healed his son. God always responds to honesty.

Focus on God continually.                                                     
Psalm 34:6  "This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles."

We focus on the mountain while crying out to God for help, wondering if He really will do anything. We need to remember what God promises and does not promise. God does not promise to remove the mountain or that we will even understand the mountain. However, God does promise to help us climb the mountain and He does promise to climb it with us. We must make the continual choice to fix our gaze on God and our glance on the circumstances. When doubt comes, reject it.

Seek out faith-builders persistently.
Ecclesiastes 4:12  "And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

We need to look for people who will encourage us to be faithful instead of constantly looking for ways to undermine our faith.

Did you hear about the farmer who had a brilliant dog? He also had a neighbor who was negative - no matter what. If it was raining, the farmer would say to his neighbor, "Boy, look at it rain. God's washing everything clean." The neighbor said, "Yeah, but if this rain keeps up, it's going to flood." Then the sun would come out and the neighbor would say, "If it keeps that up, it's going to burn the crops." The farmer thought, "What am I going to do with this guy?" He made a plan. The farmer trained his dog to walk on water. He didn't tell his neighbor - just took him duck hunting. Boom! Boom! They got two ducks. The farmer said to his dog, "Go get 'em." The dog sprinted across the water, picked up the ducks and hopped back in the boat, nothing wet, just his paws. With a confident smile, the farmer asked his doubting neighbor, "What do you think of that?" The neighbor quickly replied, "He can't swim, can he?"

Do you know people like the neighbor? Run from the doubters in your life. We struggle enough with doubt on our own and should not compound it by investing valuable time in doubters and cynics. Look for people who walk in faith, who believe God and study His Word. They will encourage and build your faith while weakening your doubts.

Women have so much in common. We have the same problems, the same fears and the same doubts. Don't let fear and doubt wreak havoc in your heart and mind. Read and saturate your life with God's Word. Don't be afraid or ashamed to cry out to Him when you are afraid. Keep your eyes on Him and look for other women who do the same. Will you join me in a new commitment to becoming a woman of faith? Remember, when doubt knocks on the door, just send faith to answer it - and you will find no one there.

Let's Pray

Father God, I want to become a woman of faith, but I am so weak. I constantly battle fear and my faith seems so small. Please give me a new thirst for Your Word. I choose to focus on You, Father, instead of focusing on my circumstances. Help me find faith and learn to be a faith-builder each day. I now turn to You, Lord.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Make a list of your top five fears.
Choose one verse from today's devotion for each fear.
When that fear comes, cry out to God and pray that verse of Scripture aloud.
Memorize Proverbs 3:5-6 and record it in your journal.
Share your decision to be a woman of faith with other women who have the same desire. Hold each other accountable and encourage each other to walk by faith.
More from the Girlfriends

What a journey we are on - a journey to the heart of God! Let's make that journey together, friend. We are here to encourage you and to help strengthen your faith. We are your sisters, your girlfriends in God and we would love to hear from you.

Need help? Check out Mary's E-Book Bible Study, Getting a Grip on Fear and discover the peace of God – even in your most chaotic moments.

Looking for a Bible Study? Check out Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journeyand explore the book of Proverbs in Mary's first study of 2013, Power Up With Proverbs. Be sure to connect with Mary on Facebookor through email.

[Judy Harder]

January 16, 2013
Ingratitude is Contagious...Don't Be a Carrier
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

When the Lord heard your complaining, he became very angry. So he solemnly swore, 'Not one of you from this wicked generation will live to see the good land I swore to give your ancestors, except Caleb son of Jephunneh. He will see this land because he has followed the Lord completely. I will give to him and his descendants some of the very land he explored during his scouting mission.'(Deuteronomy 1:35-36 New Living Translation)

Friend to Friend

Ingratitude laced with grumbling, complaining, and murmuring is an easy trap to fall into. And it is so contagious. Someone grumbles and the next thing you know, you fall right in line and start grumbling too. I wonder if that's what happened in the wilderness as the Israelites made one more trek around Mount Sinai. "I'm sick of this manna," one complained. Then another looked at God's sweet provision and said, "Come to think of it, I'm sick of it too." The next thing you know the sea of ingrates becomes a tidal wave of grumblers and God sends them on another lap around the wilderness and places a "Do Not Enter" sign in front of the Promised Land.

When you think about it, ingratitude is a casual despising of God's sovereignty. It's like saying we don't like how He is running things and think we could do it better.

Gratitude and giving thanks in all things opens our eyes to see God's glory in even the smallest things. On the other hand, ingratitude blinds our eyes to God's presence, and we miss His advances all around. It's a choice, not an emotion. However, this choice to give thanks may very well open the way for positive emotions such as joy to emerge and take hold. Paul wrote: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again (because you probably didn't get it the first time): Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4, parentheses mine).

There is nobody more miserable than an ungrateful person. Margaret and I were chatting about gratitude when she mentioned how she tries to steer clear of those who grumble and complain because their ingratitude is so contagious. "I hate calling my sister," she mused. "I mean, I love her. But talking to her is such a joy drain."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"All she does is complain. Something is always wrong with her house. She always has a new ailment. She gives me the latest obituary report and tells me who is sick with what. A couple of times I tried to cheer her up. You know, help her see the positive side of things. 'At least you have a house. Think of all those people who lost their homes in the hurricane.' But it only made her mad. She said I was not being sympathetic and that I made little of her problems. So now I just listen."

Another friend told me of sitting with his father discussing the distribution of his "worldly goods," when the time came to do so. "My dad had very little joy in his life," Mike explained. "As we discussed who was going to get what when he died, I saw a pride in him I had never noticed before. 'I did all this,' he said as he waved his hand around the room like Vanna White. 'I worked hard and earned it all.' In his mind, he had earned it; he had done it all. Never once did he give thanks to God for all his blessings or acknowledge God's goodness. He showed no gratitude, no thanksgiving, and certainly no joy".

His things had become shiny shackles that kept joy at bay all his life. His things. How sad.

As Mike told me the story, I thought of Henry Ward Beecher's words: "Pride slays thanksgiving...a proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves."  Eyes shut tight to God's glory.

I am reminded of an old saying that stirs and stings: "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." Always enough. Jesus thanked God for the two loaves and five fish... and there was more than enough to go around (John 6:1-13).

Today, make a commitment to turn you grumbling to grateful, your complaining into contentment, and your whining (did I just say that...yes I did) into praising God!

Let's Pray

[Sometimes I open my Bible and simply pray the Psalms. Join me today!]

Praise the Lord, O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live, (Psalm 146:1). Praise the Lord. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him! (Psalm 147:1). Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. (Psalm 150:1-2). Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. (Psalm 136:1).

In Jesus' Name I praise You!

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Do you feel far from God today? If so, maybe you're knocking on the wrong door. What does Psalm 100:4 tell us about how we are to enter God's presence?

If complaining were a color, what color would it be?

If being grateful, thankful and appreciative were a color, what color would it be?

Now, what color do you want to be today?

More from the Girlfriends

If you would like 2013 to be the year that you change your grumbling into grateful...that you get a handle on that little muscle with a big impact...your tongue, then check out my book, The Power of a Woman's Words.It also has a Bible Study Guide and a DVD that is perfect for group studies or simply to dig deeper into God's Word on your own.

[Judy Harder]

January 17, 2013
Just Ask
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us (1 John 3:21-23, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Christmas morning is serious business at the Southerland home and is steeped in tradition that is not to be tampered with. We open stockings first. Then comes breakfast - during which the Christmas story is read - followed by the grand finale of opening the gifts under the Christmas tree. I could hardly wait for our eighteen-month-old grandson to open the presents we had so carefully chosen, purchased and wrapped for him. Justus quickly got the hang of opening gifts as he happily ripped off the brightly colored paper covering his new fire truck. And then it happened. Justus immediately sat down and began to play with the truck – which is the whole point - right? No! There were more gifts for him under the tree. In fact, the fire truck was the smallest and least expensive toy we had purchased. It didn't matter. Justus was happy with one gift. He had no idea what was waiting for him under that tree. In fact, he did not even open all of his gifts on Christmas morning. His very wise mother said, "Let's save a couple of gifts for him to open later this week." What? Was she kidding me? Nope! Those unopened boxes sat under the tree for days. It just about drove me crazy! I knew what was in each box. I also knew Justus was going to love each gift. But he is just a baby. He didn't realize that all he had to do was ask and those gifts would be opened in a flash.

One morning, as I walked by the Christmas tree and saw the unopened gifts, the Father whispered, "Mary, you know I want to bless you. Why won't you ask?" My thoughts immediately went to a story I often tell when I speak at conferences.

A man died and went to heaven and was met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter who offered to show him the home God had prepared for him. The man's excitement grew as he and Saint Peter passed a street lined with beautiful mansions – but they did not stop. The man was still enthusiastic as he and Saint Peter walked by a street lined with smaller but still lovely houses, but they did not stop. The man began to wonder just what kind of home was waiting for him when Saint Peter finally stopped in front of an attractive but tiny house. "This is your home," Peter explained. Even though it was not a spectacular mansion or magnificent house, the man was thrilled. After all, the little house was in Heaven.

The man's excitement faded as he opened the front door of his heavenly home. Instead of beautifully furnished rooms, he saw stacks of unopened boxes. In fact, every room was filled with boxes stacked from the ceiling to the floor. When the man asked Saint Peter what was inside the boxes, Peter smiled sadly and said, "These are the gifts and blessings God had for you on earth." The now very confused man responded, "Why didn't He send them to me?" Saint Peter smiled sadly and said, "Because you never asked."

I want every blessing God has for me. I know you feel the same way. God is not a heavenly vending machine that dispenses blessings simply because we want them. Every promise of God is accompanied by at least one condition we must meet in order to experience the blessing of God. That condition is always rooted in obedience to Him.

1 John 3:21-23 "Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us" (NIV).

When we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and seek to obey His commands, we can come before God in confidence, knowing that He wants to pour out His blessings on our life. He is waiting. We just need to ask.

Let's Pray

Father, thank You for loving me. Please help me walk in obedience to Your commands and live my life in a way that pleases You. I really do want to be a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. Right now, I surrender all that I am to You and ask for Your blessings in my life.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.   

Now It's Your Turn

Read Psalm 51:10. How is a clean heart related to the blessings of God?
Focus on the blessings God has already given you and praise Him for each one.
Read Proverbs 21:2. "A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart."How does this verse apply to the blessings of God in your life?
More from the Girlfriends

One of my problems with asking God to bless my life is that I don't think I deserve His blessings. I really don't ... and neither do you. God's blessings are not based on who we are or what we deserve. I am so glad! God's blessings are unmerited gifts that are backed by the honor of His name. God loves you and wants to bless your life. Just ask.

Do you or someone you love struggle with depression? Mary's book, Hope in the Midst of Depression,offers practical steps you can take to get out and stay out of that pit.

A daily time alone with God in prayer and Bible study will strengthen you to face whatever life throws at you. Check out my weekly online Bible study, Light for the Journey, for practical ways to tap into the power of God's Word. The first study of 2013 is Power Up With Proverbs and begins January 14.

[Judy Harder]

January 18, 2013
The Broken Way
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today ... the LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still (Exodus 14:13-14, NIV).

Friend to Friend

While at a football game of my son Preston's, I had a moving conversation with another team mom. It was the first time we'd ever dialogued beyond socially expected niceties. Between cheers that went up to our football-playing boys, she stumbled upon the fact that I was a Jesus-loving girl and was excited to share about how God has intimately drawn her heart to his over the past five years. How He met her where she was, ministered to her through the hands of others. How He sparked life into her soul through His Son Jesus Christ. She was radiant and she spoke with excitement, joy in every sentence, praise on her tongue for the God who gives her strength and life. This dear lady opened her heart and told me of her grueling battle with an aggressive form of breast cancer.

She was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 35 – as a wife and mother to three small children. Initially, she was angry with God for allowing a disease to ravage her body, furious that her husband and children might have to live without her. Though she fought to understand the "why" of it all, she confidently testifies that God used the pain-filled journey on the broken road of cancer to lead her to saving Grace. She is now grateful for the broken way that God breathed new life into her soul as she battled death in her body. As she spoke, the troubles of my life faded to a humble corner of my heart. Her words reminded me that God really can and should be glorified through each hard place we find ourselves in. I was freshly reminded to trust God.

Life is filled with challenges. The struggles we endure often leave our hearts breaking and our minds aching for reprieve. I've not battled cancer, but I have experienced my fair share of times when I've been crushed by circumstances that are beyond my control ... just like her.  As a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, I've learned that hard times are inevitable and that they hurt.           

Toward the end of our conversation about her cancer and faith, my new friend confided that fear still tries to invade her days. She said that she constantly has to choose faith and to trust God instead of dwelling on the possibilities of another future diagnosis. Every one of us doubts at times. We all fail to trust. But Scripture assures us that even when we are faithless, God remains faithful. As we walk broken paths that challenge our faith, the truth remains that God does deliver in and through the pain. Though there are struggles that we might take to the grave with us, God is still good. Each hard place is an opportunity for Jesus to show His power in and through our lives.

When we find ourselves on the broken way, we often feel like we are wandering in the wilderness. In Exodus 13:17-14:31, we see a dreary desert drama of the Israelites. Stop here to read the full account now if you can.

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea (Exodus 13:17-18a, NIV).

As God moved through the leadership of Moses to bring His people from captivity to freedom, from poverty to inheritance, the Israelites were not led the easy way. They didn't get to take the "paved" road – even though it was shorter. They had to walk through the desert. God led them the harder way because He knew it was best for them in the long run. Sometimes we are led the harder way too. The broken way. Even though our minds conceive an easier solution, He knows what is unknown to us, He sees what is unseen to us, and His ways are trustworthy and best.

By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people." (Exodus 17:21-22, NIV)

"Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left (Exodus 14:19-22, NIV).

God has given us his Holy Spirit to lead us by day and by night, to be our Strength, our Power, and our Direction in the deserts of life. Just as God made a way for the Israelites when they called on Him as they faced a seemingly impossible Red Sea situation, He will make a way for you. Call on His name. Trust His plan. Reach for His hand.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, forgive me for the times when I try to navigate the broken path of life on my own. When my heart is heavy with burdens, please give me Your strength and remind my soul to trust You. I need Your guidance and power today.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Do you feel like God has led you through the desert?

Do you trust that He can and will make a way for your broken paths to be made straight when you call on Him?

Grab a journal (if you're a journal girl). Spend a few moments contemplating the circumstances of your harder way. Then lift your eyes from your situation to your Savior. Call on God, and say to your soul: Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...the LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still (Exodus 14:13-14, NIV).

More from the Girlfriends

I've seen it in my own life. God delights to deliver us from our hard places in and through the pain. Hang in there, friend. He knows each tear you've cried and He has never left your side. In the words of a beloved hymn by Helen Lemmel, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

Today's GiG devotion is adapted from Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland by permission of Multnomah, division of Random House, Inc. Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure? Get a copy of the book!

WALKING ON THE BROKEN WAY? Experience God's healing and hope in your life today as you read Broken Into Beautiful. To order the book, go to Amazon, your favorite Christian bookstore, or for a signed copy, order from Gwen's website.

[Judy Harder]

January 21, 2013
The Danger of Ingratitude
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise (Psalm 100:4 NIV).

Friend to Friend

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise," (Psalm 100:4). Right in the center of my Bible, I find an invitation into God's presence. And while there is nowhere we can go away from God's presence, we can certainly feel distant from Him.

In Genesis chapter 2, we read of Adam and Eve's original sin of disobedience to God's one command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But have you ever wondered what whet their appetite for wanting something more than constant communion and union with God? Have you ever considered what stirred the desire for more and made them vulnerable to the serpent's attack? I think it was ingratitude. They were not thankful for all that God had provided. They were not satisfied with the glory life. So when Satan slithered into the Garden and introduced the idea that God was holding out on them, they were ripe for the picking.

"When you eat of it your eyes will be opened," the serpent hissed (Genesis 3:5). But in the beginning, Eve's eyes already were open. Eve saw God in all His goodness, spilling out gifts at every turn. She saw nothing but the glory of God unspoiled. Eve was lured away by the lie that there was something better, something more. "When you eat of it your eyes will be opened"...and they were. Eve's eyes beheld the ugliness of sin and shame that she had never seen before.

We are in the same danger of believing Satan's lie of "you would be happy if..." when we are not grateful to God who "richly blesses all who call on him" (Romans 10:12). We are vulnerable to temptation when we neglect to thank God who "richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment" (1 Timothy 6:17). As we live and move and have our being in Jesus, if the song of gratitude is not playing on our lips, we will be in the same danger of listening to the enemy's lies and thinking our glory ache could be satisfied by something other than God Himself. Gratitude keeps us grounded in the truth and alert to the lies.       

Ingratitude is the infection of Eden that closes eyes shut tight to glory moments to experience God and leaves us groping about in the dark for that which will never satisfy the longings of the soul. The cure comes in capsules of praise, thanksgiving, and a grateful heart. Gratitude is the antibiotic of the soul to cure a variety of the world's ills. It cuts the bark of our hard hearts and nourishes the very spot where we are grafted into Jesus Christ Himself, and restores a sense of closeness and intimacy with God.

Today, practice praise. Think of thanks. Go with a grateful heart.

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, I thank You for all the ways You have blessed my life. For eyes to see, ears to hear and hands to work. I thank You for a home to live in, a free country to worship in and a beautiful world to enjoy. Thank You for giving Your son, Jesus, to save me from my sin so that I can have eternal life when I leave this temporary home on earth.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

This will be fun...well, maybe not so much fun...but enlightening.

Put a rubber band on your wrist and wear it like a bracelet. Every time you complain, grumble, or simply talk negatively about anything and anyone, pop the rubber band. That's right, pull it out and let it pop your wrist.

If you really want to see how much you grumble, get a girlfriend or family member to do it with you. Agree to tell each other, "Girlfriend, you need to pop that wrist." Sometimes we all need a little help from our friends. J

If you'll agree to do this, leave a comment on my blog page that says, "I wore a rubber band today."  I'd love to actually see the rubber band on your wrist. Take a picture and send it to me! I'll try to figure out how to post it.

More from the Girlfriends

Seeing God through the lens of gratitude and grace is one of the themes of my book, A Sudden Glory: God's Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. It's a great book to help you experience God's presence on a daily basis. But if you have trouble with grumbling, complaining, and controlling your tongue, I'd suggest delving into my book, The Power of a Woman's Words.What a great New Year's Resolution: CONTROL MY TONGUE!  You can find them both on my website at www.sharonjaynes.com