Mensa/Words

[Warph]

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once
again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter - and supply a new definition.

The winners are:

1. Cash/tration: The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders
     the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignor/anus:  A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intax/ication:  Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
    that it was your money to start with.

4. Rein/tarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bo/zone:  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
    penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
    in the near future.

6. Fore/ploy:  Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraff/iti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sar/chasm:  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
    doesn't get it.

9. Inocu/latte:  To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hip/atitis:  Terminal coolness.

11. Osteo/pornosis:  A degenerate disease.  (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon:  It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and
      then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Deca/falon:  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
     things that are good for you.

14. Gli/bido: All talk and no action. (My Favorite)

15. Dope/ler effect:  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
     they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachno/leptic fit:  The frantic dance performed just after you've
     accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelze/bug:  Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
     bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Cater/pallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
      fruit you're eating.