TEE HEE's for election year

[Judy Harder]

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:I am the head of the family, so call me The President.Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her theGovernment.We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.Now think about that and see if it makes sense."So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up tocheck on him.He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father inbed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think Iunderstand the concept of politics now."The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you thinkpolitics is all about."The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Classwhile the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored andthe Future is in deep shit..

[frawin]

Judy, I think that little boy has it all figured out. That was a good one. I wonder who has the time and mentality to figure those thinks out.
Frank

[Roma Jean Turner]

  Good one, it sums it up nicely.

[greatguns]

You just said it all!!!!!!!!!!!

[Judy Harder]

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting

  time the boy should give some thought to choosing a

  profession.

  Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he

  wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

  One day, while the boy was away to school, his father decided

  to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed

  on his study table four objects.
  A Bible

A silver dollar

A bottle of whisky

And a playboy magazine.

  'I'll just hide behind the door', the old preacher said to himself.

  'When he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see

  which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a

  preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks

  up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would

  be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle. he's going to be a

  no-good drunkard, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

  And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a

  skirt-chasing bum.'

  The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-

  steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his

  room.

  The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave

  the room he spotted the objects on the table.

  With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them

  Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

  He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.

  He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired

  this months centerfold.

  'Lord have mercy.' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.

  'He's gonna run for Congress!'

[Teresa]

ohh Judy.. these make me laugh.. LOL

[Teresa]

The buzzword of this election is "change." Candidates easily toss it around without saying, WHAT THEY WANT TO CHANGE TO??

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Navy about a Lieutenant who inspected his Sailors and since they had been to see for years,  told the "Boatswain's" that they smelled bad.  The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.

The "Boatson" responded, "Aye, aye, sir.  I'll see to it immediately."

He went to them and said, "The lieutenant thinks you smell bad and  he wants you to change your underwear.  Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz."

A candidate may promise change in Washington, but the accumulated stink of years will always remain!

[flo]

 

[Lookatmeknow!!]

Those are all so RIGHT!!!!

[Judy Harder]

One evening, while campaigning in Texas, Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road. Suddenly an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to
avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told
her driver to go up to the ranch house and explain to the owners what had
happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in
disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of very expensive wine in one hand,
a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared
with lipstick. "What happened to you," asked Hillary?
"Well," the driver replied, "the rancher gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their
beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me!"
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the
door of the house and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it.