TEE HEE's for election year

[Judy Harder]

Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year

[Roma Jean Turner]

Boy Howdy, ain't it the truth.  I would love to be apathetic at this point.  The truth is the front runners at this point all scare the hell out of me for one reason or another.

[Wilma]

I have a very bad case of "electile dysfunction".

[Jo McDonald]

It scares the BeJeesus out of a lot of us, Roma Jean -----  Holie Buckets, I do hope someone comes out of the wood work that we can trust for the next 4 years !!!

[Wilma]

Is that where they are hiding, Jo?  You know what comes out of wood, don't you?  Maybe they would be an improvement at that.

[Carl Harrod]

Sign on back of Septic Tank Truck:

CAUTION: This vehicle may be transporting political promises.

[Diane Amberg]

We got a phone call yesterday afternoon inviting us to join Barack Obama on Rodney Square in Wilmington tomorrow. Al's legs aren't up to that kind of thing and I'm sure Mr. O, will only be there for a few minutes, but I didn't think little Delaware would rate that kind of attention, in spite of Joe Biden. Mr.O's wife was here on Thurs. It's starting to get interesting.

[Bonnie M.]

California is being wooed by all of the politicians.  Of course, our Primary is this coming Tuesday.  It will be most interesting to see who comes out the winners, I think it's going to be pretty close.  We will be so glad when this election is over with, but then, we say that every four years!  Actually, every two years, in some cases! 

[Jo McDonald]

 

A Greek man was washed up on the beach after a terrible shipwreck. 
Only a sheep and a sheepdog survived with him. 
He looked around and realized that they were stranded on a desert island.     
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.   
One particular evening, the sky was fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle -- A perfect night for romance.     
As they sat there, the sheep started to look better and better to the lonely man.   
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm away from the sheep.   
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,   but there was no more cuddling.     
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.     
That evening the man introduced Hillary to the evening sunset ritual.   
It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze -- A perfect night for romance.     
Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again.   
He fought the urges as long as he could, but finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...     
"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

[Judy Harder]

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters,
whose
job it was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went
into
the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so
he
bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each
bell
had a different tone so John could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and
fill
out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen
he
was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's
bell
hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters
coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak,
so
it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job
and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he
entered him in the Renfrew
County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell
Piece
Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.


Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace
and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
VOTE CAREFULLY ! ... The bells are not always audible !!!