Chuckles

[Diane Amberg]

 In honor of school starting soon, more third grade jokes.

   When the little chick sassed his teacher at school, what happened?

    It was eggspelled.


    What cat should you never play checkers with?
     
     A cheetah

   

[Diane Amberg]

  Why was the broom late for school?
   It overswept.

  Hey, Kermit, how are you doing in all this heat? My friend Alice just can't go out at all in very hot weather.
  On a lighter note, maybe you could kick out the little frogs for awhile and cool off in their tadpool.

[kdfrawg]

I am doing just terrible, actually.   

As you apparently know, there is just something about heat that gets us lucky MS folks. Life has dictated that I be out more than I should be lately, so I'm just drug out. A week after it cools down, I'll be my regular normal ornery self.

Hmmmm. I shouldn't have said that. Now y'all will want more heat. 

[Carl Harrod]

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

[Diane Amberg]

 I love it! 

[emptynest]

This chuckle could also be posted in the "Recipe Thread" or "How Does Your Garden Grow" current discussion on recipes.

Husband Humor

My wife has not spoken to me in three days.  I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.
     She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"
     "What's the matter?"  I asked.
      "There are burglars in the kitchen.  I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."
      "That'll teach them!"  I replied.

[emptynest]

And just to be fair:

Wife Humor

A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.  The policeman asked for a description.
     She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, and athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
     The next door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
     The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast."   =====Proverbs 15:15

[Diane Amberg]

 These are all great!  Keep 'em comin' !

[Diane Amberg]

 What was Super Chicken's real name?

Cluck Kent

[Wilma]

Really, Diane, do you have a book full of these?  If you don't, maybe you should write one.