(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

A Sunday Scripture
Apr 28, 2013 01:20 am | incourage




Now to him who is able to do
immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us,
to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

What an incredible weekend this has been! Thousands of you gathered all around the world, taking brave steps into community, daring to sit and share with your sisters – and we know that our Lord has done immeasurably more than we could have asked for or imagined.

On this Sunday after our (in)RL gatherings, we pray that you've enjoyed sweet community with the women in your life, that you've taken time to gather in His name, that you've created – or nourished – relationships that sustain you. Because when you do, He is there.

Love,
Your (in)courage team

P.S. If you missed (in)RL, it's not too late! Videos are still live on www.inrl.us for anyone who registered. And you can still register now and watch the videos.

The videos will be available until midnight on Sunday, April 28.

[Judy Harder]

Patience on the Journey of Motherhood Holds Great Rewards!
May 01, 2013 01:20 am | Sally Clarkson




Desperate was the word that captured my feelings as a young mom of three under five years old.

Becoming a mom at 31, I did absolutely adore my precious children, but I was exhausted every day, never quite on top of the messes, sleep deprived and often short tempered. For a few years, I gingerly held life together, but seemed to become more weary and exhausted each passing day.

When my third child, Nathan, was born, he appeared perfect. An easy delivery, he slept through the night immediately and I thought, "This is going to be an easy-going baby!"

That lasted for three days.

From that moment on, he was absolutely unpredictable. He did not sleep through the night until he was 4 ½. When I would try to put him to sleep at nights, even as an infant, he would arch his back and scream and yell for thirty minutes.

From time to time, he was that child in a restaurant who would throw a chicken leg across the room, lay on the floor and kick and scream.

"No!" was his favorite word when Nathan was five years old. As the third child and second boy, it seemed he had to do something every day to get attention to be sure he was not overlooked.

"What am I supposed to do with a child like this?" I prayed every day.

I felt torn between loving my children and feeling inadequate and frustrated most days.

One day, I sat down in total defeat, a sense of darkness hovering over my soul, and wondering what I was doing wrong, I opened my Bible and read...

"Children are a blessing from God, the fruit of the womb is a reward."

Slowly over the next days, as this verse began to capture my imagination, I began to ask God to show me my children from his eyes and to help me to know just how I was supposed to mother them.

Little by little, I fell in love with each child, and began to understand their unique personalities. Working diligently on patience, gentleness and giving them encouragement through thoughtful words, I began to see that I was changing and growing in my ability to manage and give grace to my children. But they were also changing, too. Slowly, they became more delightful, and more responsive.

God lives in my home, but sometimes I ignore Him and don't hear the music He is playing just for me. This journey of mothering is a challenging marathon of moments, hours, days, months, years, and decades. And yet, in each moment, God has sprinkled across our paths beauty, love, and joy. We have only to cultivate eyes in our hearts to observe this Artist's work of life.

Recently, as my new book Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe came out, I received a surprise email from my son, Nathan, who had first challenged my life so very much. It read:

Hey, sweet Mom,

I just wanted to take a moment and thank you from the bottom of my heart for living the kind of life you led. I realize now I really did have the best mom in the world.

I never knew how much it would mean, that in the mornings as we spent time reading the Bible together,  how much those words would guide me as an adult. You always believed in me and gave me a vision for living my life to the fullest. Spending time being my friend when I know you had a zillion things to do meant more than you will ever know.

It was the feasts–every night, no matter what we ate, candle light and music and talking and talking.

Saturday night pizza and movie nights.

Bedtime rituals every night with back scratches and stories and one mama song

Washing dishes to Christian rock music to make it easier

Taking me into your room with hot chocolate and mama Nathan times to tell me how special I was.

More things than I can count, but, Mama, I always thought our home was the best in all the world place to be and you made it that way be being an artist of life. 

As I am here in Hollywood, I see so many prodigals, searching, lost and hurting, because most of them have little support or love from home. I can't tell you how honored I am to call you my mom. The work of moms really makes a difference!

But honestly the most amazing thing to me is the 30+ years you have given your life to serving God, by taking the time to serve all of us. I am so blessed to have you, and the work of your hands will pay off forever in HUGE ways.

Thanks for choosing the hard path of raising me, and putting up with all my "things", and loving us enough to give up your whole life.

Love you, mama, you are the best!

Nathan

Being an intentional mom has stretched me and challenged me more than I ever imagined, but the deep rewards of seeing my adult children become my best friends and watching them flourish, has been more fulfilling than I could possibly have ever known.

By Sally Clarkson

You can get a copy of Desperate at DaySpring, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or ChristianBook.com. You can enter to win one of 5 being given away by going here.






Why We Need Both Roses & Thorns
May 01, 2013 01:20 am | Mary Carver




Right before I graduated from college, a classmate wrote an article for our school paper. He called it "Roses and Thorns" and listed some of the best and worst parts of his four years at our university. Roses were the things he'd loved, the experiences he'd treasure, the friends he'd miss. Thorns, on the other hand, were the regrets, the mistakes and the disappointments that countered those blessings.

For years, I kept that article – clipped and yellowed after time – on my fridge. Traveling with us from apartment to duplex to house, it reminded me that life isn't all roses or all thorns. No, life is full of both, and acknowledging (and even appreciating) both makes for real, beautiful living.


——————–

I've been working at my church for the past year. Going back to work after two years as a stay-at-home mom was a relief for many reasons – and I loved it. I loved being on "the inside" and seeing the inner workings of the church my family calls home, and more importantly, I loved the people I worked with.

What I didn't love quite as much were the actual tasks I did on a daily basis. Not all of them. But some of them, I could've done without – and a few I flat-out dreaded. For a long while, though, that didn't matter. I was working with people I adored for a mission I believed in wholeheartedly. When I stayed focused on those things, my actual job description simply wasn't that important.

Then another opportunity came my way. And while it looked identical to my job at the church in the people-I-adore and mission-I-believe-in departments, it brought with it work-from-home flexibility and [my favorite part] work that fit into my skill set and gifts. I'll spare you my lengthy and angsty mental debate. Long story short, I changed jobs a few weeks ago.



Despite knowing that I was making the right move, my last days at the church were full of tears. This is silly! I told myself, over and over. After all, I wasn't leaving the church. I'd still be highly involved, leading a small group with my husband and serving in Kids City every Sunday morning. And just because I didn't work with the amazing people on staff didn't mean we would stop being friends.

But I knew, too, that things wouldn't be the same. Relationships would change, and the new person would sit at my desk now and probably rearrange my pens and paper clips a different way.

I would miss my job. A lot.


——————–

One of the things I miss most about working at my church is our weekly staff meetings. What made those two hours on Wednesday mornings so special for me was partly just seeing everyone on our staff gathered in one place, laughing and sharing and updating each other on their ministry areas. But what I miss most, what energized and inspired me and held me over for the following week was sharing our wins and challenges.

No matter what else was on the agenda for the week, our pastor started each meeting by asking each of us where we were winning and what challenges we were facing. Our answers could be personal or professional (although in ministry, the line between the two is often blurred), and we could share as much or as little as we wanted. Most weeks, everyone shared something. And often, we stopped in the middle of the conversation to pray for each other.

Knowing my friends' and colleagues' wins and challenges meant I knew about them, and likewise, telling them about the victories and struggles in my own life let them get to know me. Those minutes spent whispering and shouting, laughing and crying, clapping loudly and sitting quietly opened doors and let us into each other's hearts.

Hearing about the roses and thorns in my friends' day-to-day lives gave me a fuller picture than if we'd only celebrated the highs or lamented the lows.



Sometimes it's hard to share our struggles; none of us wants to be seen as weak or needy. Likewise, it can be difficult to say our wins out loud, too, for fear we seem prideful or even shallow, depending on what we choose to be grateful for. But sharing those things, the ones that lodge in our throats and live in the center of our hearts? THAT is how we truly build trust and relationships and community. No life is all roses or all thorns, but we've all got at least a little bit of both. And knowing about both means I see the real, whole you, living your real, whole life.

Today I thought we could share a little bit of ourselves here in this safe place where we all long to know and be known. I'll start with my roses and thorns, then will you share yours in the comments?

Roses: My daughter is excited about kindergarten, swim lessons and her new devotional book. A blog post I wrote recently got a lot (for me) comments. And I've finally dug my house out from under the clutter and chaos that had been ruling the roost for the past three months.

Thorns: I'm trying to lose weight and It. Is. Hard. I'm nervous about balancing my time and priorities now that I'm working from home. And I've gotten out of the habit of a morning quiet time, and it's wearing on me to go without quality time in the Word.


Your turn! What do the roses and thorns in your life look like?
Where are you winning? Where are you struggling?

[Judy Harder]

Seasons and Silver


From Overpowered to Empowered
May 02, 2013 01:20 am | Lysa




It was one of those days. I was driving to the airport in the pouring rain. The skies were grey. The day felt a bit gloomy. And honestly, so did I.

There were just a lot of little things swarming my thoughts. Feelings of inadequacy stinging. "There are so many things I'm responsible for and never enough hours in the day. I do enough to keep things from sinking. But I just wonder if I'm doing anything well. I don't think I am – doing anything well."

The more I focused on these thoughts, the more overpowered I became. The more overpowered I became, the more withdrawn I felt.

I pulled into the parking space and started the fight with my luggage. My suitcase has two wheels missing. And of course I keep intending to do something about this. But I don't have time. So I make do with a crazy suitcase and a crazy life and a crazy sense I should just pack my family up and move out west somewhere. Live on a ranch where we grow our own food and I cook beans in a black pot over an open flame.

Surely that would fix everything.

Except that I know it wouldn't.

Because the chaos isn't from my circumstances. It's inside me.

I boarded the plane. I stared out the window. I watched the grey clouds envelop us.

And then the grey broke.

Suddenly, we rose above the clouds and the sun was shining crazy bright and far wide and fabulously clear.

The clouds were just a temporary covering. They didn't stop the sun from shining. They just prevented my eyes from seeing the sun. And it wasn't just the sky that appeared a little brighter. My mood did as well.

I started to shift from feeling overpowered to empowered as I realized three things:

Just because I feel it doesn't make it real.

Just like I felt the sun was gone but it was very much still there, I might feel like I'm not doing anything well, but it doesn't make it true. The fact that I have weaknesses doesn't make everything about me weak. I have plenty of strengths.

All I have to do is ask a couple of my friends or my family members to help me see what I do well. I can celebrate those, and then get a plan for bettering things that need improvement. I can start by identifying one thing to improve on this month. And do a little toward making that one thing better.

There are a lot of people who would trade their best day for my worst day.

Yes, I have a lot to manage. And yes, sometimes things get a little foggy. But that doesn't mean I have to stay swallowed up in the grey. That means I need to get my head above the clouds and see all the many places where the sun is shining brightly in my life. So, I can start making a list of things for which I need to be thankful.

My mind needs some space to think.

If I always run at a breakneck pace, I'm eventually going to break. My mind is a powerful tool, capable of seeing things that can be done more efficiently and effectively if I give myself time to think. When is the last time I just sat quietly with a pen and paper and asked the Lord to help me think?

As 2 Corinthians 12:9 teaches, God's power is made perfect in weakness. When I'm sinking in thoughts of inadequacy and plans to relocate out west, I remember that my ability is not based on what I can do. My ability and strength come from the One who can do all things. With the Lord working in me and through my weaknesses, I can feel the transformation from being overpowered to empowered taking place.

If the clouds have been looming close lately, maybe it's time to stop. Pause. Lift your eyes to an altitude that can rearrange your attitude.

By Lysa TerKeurst

Feeling overpowered by your own toxic thoughts? Learn more about combatting that negative inside chatter with Lysa's book Unglued. Click here to purchase your copy!





May 02, 2013 01:10 am | Vanessa Dorsey



Lord, when you favored me,
You made my royal mountain stand firm;
But when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
(Psalm 30:7 NIV)

Wife.  Mother.  Friend.  Registered Nurse. Volunteer.

Of all the roles I've known in my thirties, the one I was least prepared to hear God speak to my heart was Leader.  This sudden whisper, loud as it was, seared my heart forever.  Leadership was unfamiliar so I resisted until one morning, months later, I finally came undone.  He was calling me away from nursing to lead in ministry...something I never imagined myself doing.  I wept as His peace filled my heart.

As I gaze into my autumn backyard, I pause.  He took this ordinary girl and did something extraordinary with my life.  I get it now.  God takes those "less likely" and turns us inside out if we'll let Him.  It's breathtakingly beautiful what happens in this great romance between Creator and created...Crucified and called...Lover of souls and the lost.  He mends and blends, transforming us and spilling out of our regular lives.

A year ago I chose to step down from this God-whispered calling as my third daughter arrived.  I have struggled almost every day.  Like the Psalmist, God's favor made me strong and His purpose was my royal mountain!  I was standing firm in His presence and power.  It was clear. I was certain.

Now I'm dismayed.

I see the reality of change all around.  Leaves, once green with life, now a blaze of color as they fall to the hard earth.  I wonder does nature fight against the changing of seasons?  Does it know that when things feel dry and dead it's only preparation?  Do the trees sway in consternation or surrender?  Do the leaves swirl in confusion or expectation?  Have they accepted what I cannot?  A God of changing seasons has my future in sight even as He lets me wither.



He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires,
Brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very
Limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back;
Finally he brought us to this well-watered place.
(Psalm 66:10-12 The Message)

Now my autumn backyard is one of bare branches and crispy, gray grass.  Winter has come and with it understanding.  Seasons must change for new things to grow.  God brings us to an end only to begin again.  He takes who we are in one season and sifts our heart...presses...leads us through refining fire...to prepare us for the next.

Like Silver.

The end of a season is not our end.  Not when we love Him.  When we are willing to travel hardscrabble country with Jesus we will, in time, find rest.  We'll come upon this well-watered place where new dreams and callings can grow in our lives because we are different.  Refined.

Maybe your winter seems especially long and harsh.  Perhaps you can easily count the blessings in your life and yet discontent is reigning.  Maybe your heart is still clinging to a season that has ended.  You can't let go.  It's frustrating and hard.  You're tired.

May I encourage you?

God has not forgotten you.  Your dreams and passions are not wasted.  Perhaps Jesus is asking you to blindly follow...To let the cold of discontent drive you into the warmth of His embrace...To let the unknown of tomorrow bring you into His presence today...To let all you want and need of this life give way to wanting and needing Him more.

In time the meaning of it all will be reflected in your silver.

By Vanessa Dorsey, MixedMotives

[Judy Harder]

This is What (in)RL Means to YOU!
May 04, 2013 02:03 am | incourage




Reading your words–your brave, honest, heart-deep, heart-full words–about (in)RL has been such a gift. You all are amazing and lovely, and we love seeing the many ways you stepped out in faith, connected with soul sisters and made the choice to stay in community–no matter what that looked like.

If you haven't had a chance to take a look at the dozens of posts describing (in)RL experiences around the world, head over there this weekend.

One of the best parts about reading through post after post about women gathering and connecting is seeing how many of you share similar stories. You were nervous, you were excited, you were afraid nobody would show up. You heard us talk about small being the new big, but you wondered why more people weren't RSVPing for your gathering. You scrubbed floors and baked cupcakes, and you ignored piles and dust and let children create centerpieces. You had breakthroughs and heart-to-hearts. You cried tears of laughter and pain and oh-she-gets-me.

Your (in)RL meetups were everything you hoped for–and nothing you expected. And they were all beautiful. We've gathered some of your reflections here. Enjoy!



God used good community to heal me from bad community. I bear the scars of broken community, but they tell the story of healing. It took time, friends. Times of good and times of hard but mainly just time. And love. Then I met these girls, and we were transparent and real and community to each other.
Kaitlyn, It Just Takes One

People on the Internet are amazing. I could not have survived this last year without my sisters from around the web and without their unwavering care and prayer-words for me. But I also could not have survived the last year without the women here in my Sunday-Saturday life, the ones who plunge their tired hands into a sink full of suds and wash my dishes.
Sarah Markley

I learned a lot that afternoon. I listened to some amazing women speak truth right into our hearts. But the biggest lesson that I learned was that when Jesus is present, we do not need to be afraid. And He was there, in the warm smiles and welcoming hugs. He was there, teaching us that if we follow Him, there is nothing to fear.
Vicki Thunstrom

We all long to understand and be understood. That's what community is about – coming together and choosing to understand, even in the hard times.
Anna Radchenko



The women who showed up? They really showed up, hearts open and ready for filling. And God? He did not disappoint. He showed up too. Those hearts met in real life, and Real Life met our hearts there.
Anna, Girl with Blog

We chose to show up. My sisters were brave and chose to meet me. They were gracious as I stumbled through telling them why I love this community so much. And we choose now to stay. To pursue one another, encourage one another. To live life together. Because life together with my sisters is immeasurably more beautiful than I could ever begin to imagine.
Crystal Stine

(in)RL 2013 for me was nothing like the testimonials I read on (in)courage or like the video clips from last year where people talk about the amazing new bonds they formed with total strangers, who went on to become new friends. (in)RL 2013 was nothing like I expected, but everything that God wanted it to be. And, I am so grateful.
Elizabeth Anne, Seasons with Soul

What a breath of fresh air to be able to gather with sisters and just be. No need to try to impress anyone or be something I wasn't. I learned a lot about myself on Saturday too: I am brave. I do know how to make friends. A group of women who have Christ in common have the most important commonality there is. And if you put enough glaze on it, no one will care that the top broke off the chocolate chip pound cake.
One Rebel Heart



Even after five hours we didn't finish view the videos, for one-by-one these precious women opened up and were brave and bared their hearts. They told of their struggles and fears. Some poured free with tears. I could see through to the pain they wanted free of and heart-heavy for them, I leaned toward Abba. "Let's pray." And this, the beginning of something new. Beginning the work of God knitting the hearts of His daughters together because together, we are better.
Michele-Lyn, A Life Surrendered

We introduced ourselves and everyone got prizes. I asked the questions, "What is community?" and "How do we find it?" Slowly the answers came. But then, the third question in, it happened ... that moment when we all knew, "This place is safe and I'm not alone."
Teri Lynne Underwood

We laughed. We listened. We talked about how God made us to be in real live community and why it is a blessing and sometimes so hard. I also ate the most amazing brownie in real life. Yes, I did.

As it turns out, we all have a story about community, staying or not staying, the blessings, and the challenges attached to the people we let in and out of our lives. Each of us could talk about this topic for hours because God made us to fit with other people in one way or another. He made us to need it. He also made us to learn from it.
Stacey Thacker, 29 Lincoln Avenue



You see, it wasn't just about being brave enough to show up at a stranger's house and risk interaction (in)RL. It wasn't just about drinking iced tea and eating baked potatoes with loads of toppings and strawberry spinach salad on the side. No. It was about the real me, seeing the real you, and connecting with one another because of the Jesus in us both.
Jacque Watkins

I didn't want to leave these women who made me feel perfectly loved in community. But the beauty is that I can come back. These women who live just moments from my home. It's a choice to be in community, and I want to make that choice to gather with these women, with all of the women whom God has placed in my life.

My life is richer, my heart full, because of community.
Barbie, My Freshly Brewed Life



The day didn't have to be perfect. My home didn't have to be spotless. The conversation didn't have to flow without any holding back. "Use this space, God. This is your home. Please, just use this space as you need today."

I was so nervous about people coming over. I just wanted them to feel at home here. "Just let them feel at home here," I prayed.
Amy Clare

We did discuss the videos a bit, and we shared... (this is when the feelings of failure can swoop right in!) I wanted to go deep. I wanted to get to the heart of the matter when it comes to Community and why we are or aren't connected in tight... If I am honest, I wanted the tears and the broken and the healing to follow... I wanted truth to reign supreme and love to be made manifest...

Sometimes I want the messy, when what He wants is the covering. Sometimes in order to get to the Real, it takes time... & that is ok... because the whole of the message of the day was the power of Staying.
Karrilee, Abiding Love Abounding Grace


——————-


Thank you, amazing sisters, for sharing your hearts and your stories with us. You are incredible and brave and beautiful, and we can't wait for our next opportunity to meet with you (in)RL, in Real Life.



Confessions of a Secret Perfectionist
May 03, 2013 01:20 am | Sarah Markley




I've never been a "house" perfectionist, so to speak. I usually have piles of mail on my counters and a dish full of to-be-washed dishes. But I've been a eating and fitness perfectionist. I'm laughing as I write this because if you saw me or had dinner with me you'd shake your head. I've been a perfectionist in that there is something inside me that says if you can't do it with near perfection, you shouldn't do it at all.

You can't get a full hour of cardio in? You shouldn't even go to the gym. You ate a little too much over breakfast? Well there goes the rest of the day — might as well be a free-for-all.

I know this is wrong. So I admit I'm a secret perfectionist. A perfectionist-on-the-sly. It bleeds over into the way I expect my kids to act in public and what I think my home should look like when friends come to visit.

There is something in this culture that expects, or even demands, perfectionism.

We hover around Pinterest pins and images of perfect people and homes in magazines and we fill our eyes with the way a perfect family looks. We wonder if ours will ever look like that.

Maybe we even look at other bloggers and wonder why we don't have the eye for style or the ease at conversation like she does.

Why don't my kids behave like her kids?

Why does there always seem to be a pile of mail on my counter?

Why are there always little tiny legos in each corner of my house?

Why can't I get my frustration or eating or laundry under control?

When we fail, we often blame ourselves for not being strong enough or wise enough or a hardy-enough Christ follower. Sometimes we think we aren't a good enough mother, even.

Do you know what perfectionism is in reality?

It's self-legalism.

When the rule becomes more important than the relationship? That's legalism. When the why of the rule is lost because the keeping of the rule wins out? That's legalism.

The struggle of the perfectionist isn't necessarily being "hard on herself." I think it goes one step beyond that. Perfectionism is a form of self-legalism in which we impose unhealthy and unrealistic rules on our own selves. When we don't meet up to those standards? We punish ourselves with feelings of not being good enough and feelings of failure.

Perfect is a fallacy. There isn't such a thing. And when we hold on to that idea of "perfect" we hold on to something that isn't real and we try to control everything around us to make sure that happens.

Steinbeck wrote in East of Eden, "And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."

Even Jesus doesn't expect perfect from us, yet we somehow twist our Christian lives around it to think He does. His whole message is that we can't be perfect and that He came to help us in our imperfection.

Only in recent months have I been able to wrap my brain around a more healthy view of self-care. Meaning, I'm choosing healthy foods without having to have a perfect food log. I'm exercising even if I only have 20 minutes. I'm still lacing up my Nikes and getting out there.

I'm admitting my humanity, it seems, on a daily basis. And in that, I'm releasing myself more and more into daily grace.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you have trouble with feeling like a failure when you aren't perfect?

[Judy Harder]

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life,
nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers,
nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~Romans 8:38-39

[Judy Harder]

Are You Ready to Recapture the Wonder and Learn to Live Wonderstruck?
May 06, 2013 01:10 am | Margaret Feinberg




Margaret Feinberg spends most mornings with her good friends Coffee and God. Without Coffee, mornings would be difficult. Without God, life would be impossible.

You'll often find Margaret (puppy-in-tow) adventuring outdoors—she enjoys hiking, river rafting, and scanning the night sky for the Northern Lights and shooting stars. She boasts an exceptionally dry sense of humor that she attributes to her Jewish father. Married to Leif for almost a decade, Margaret's known for losing things like her sunglasses on her head, keys in her hand, or her phone for the 12th time in the same day. Luckily, Hershey hasn't been left anywhere... yet.

Always up for an adventure, Margaret is known to drive 50 miles to chase down a food truck and snag Groupons for skydiving on a whim. She prefers watching comedies and laughing until her tummy aches over doing sit ups.

Margaret's books and Bible studies include The Organic God, The Sacred Echo, Scouting the Divine and Wonderstruck. She writes about her adventures at margaretfeinberg.com and tweets from @mafeinberg.

***



I have a hunch that I'm not the only one who has misplaced the marvel of a life lived with God. Faith invites us into an enchanting journey with God—one marked by the mysteries of divine beauty, holy courage, irrepressible hope, and unending love. But in my own life, any sense of the expansiveness of God had faded. I was left with a faith that lacked color, tasting both stale and bland. I knew I needed God to reveal himself once again to awaken me from my sleep, to disturb me from my slumber.

Any sense of holy awe was replaced by unholy indifference. Hope diminished to a manageable emotion. Love became a fleeting expression in short supply. [Tweet this]

Ever felt that way?

If faith is a sea of possibilities, I stood ankle deep, baptized only in shallows of the reality of God. Yet I sensed the Spirit beckoning me to plunge into the cool, shadowy depths marked by indescribable beauty; those unforgettable moments of life that force the holding of breath one moment and the gasping of oxygen the next. Allured by the Spirit, I lunged forward to beckon God.

And I prayed for wonder.

Sometimes the simplest prayers prove to be the most dangerous. If I had known what I was asking or how God would answer, I don't know if I would've had the courage to make the request.

Palms extended, wide-eyed with expectation, I waited for an answer. God did not disappoint. A prayer for wonder asks the Lord to reveal himself in greater measure and hold nothing back, and remains one of those prayers for which God doesn't say "no". [Tweet this]

Who knew such a simple prayer could be so powerful?

God responded in the most unusual ways, ones that filled me with a sense of astonishment and awoke me to the reality of his presence. I still relish the striking and curious ways God answers. The means God employed to awaken me to the beauty awaiting in the most mundane moments of life. The process God uses to transform my hollowness to hallowedness.

People entered and reemerged in my life who expanded my understanding of God and grace. My attention was acutely drawn to patterns and particulars in Scripture I'd never seen before. Whenever God answers a prayer for wonder, the tone and tenacity with which we live our lives and express our faith changes.

Holiness beckons. Divine expectation flourishes. Gratitude abounds. Hope returns. [Tweet this]


We do not have to remain asleep to the presence of God. We can awake, toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and seize the fullness of life that God intended for us. We can live alert to the wonders all around us that increase our desire to know God more.

My hope is that before you ever flip open the first page of Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God, that you will stop, drop, and pray for wonder.

Then live wide-eyed to the ways God want to reveal Himself to you in your home, in your workplace, in your child's eyes and words, in your friendships, in every moment of this gift called life.

Will you join me in reawakening to wonder?

Here's a glimpse of the trailer from the Wonderstruck 7-Session DVD Bible study just so you can see a little bit more about what praying for wonder can do in your life:


A Sneak Peek At Wonderstruck from Margaret Feinberg on Vimeo.

(Subscribers, view the video, here)

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Margaret Feinberg's newest book, Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God released at Christmas 2012. You can find it here.  Read more from Margaret at margaretfeinberg.com.

This week, we are giving away 5 copies of Wonderstruck! Just tell us one way that you've been wonderstruck by goodness of God in the comments below. We'll announce giveaway winners on Friday.

Join us this Wednesday as we explore what it means to Live in God's Presence.

[Judy Harder]

Beauty marks
May 07, 2013 01:20 am | Robin Dance




Mama was sick my entire memory of her but I can still see that time she was draped in an amethyst gown, and through the mystery and magic of a fall, her hair was transformed into that of a Greek goddess.  She was the most exquisite creature I'd ever seen.  I remember petting her side and her caution not to get her dress dirty.

When beauty is that close you can't help but want to touch it.

It was ritual to sit next on the floor next to her bed, spellbound and legs outstretched, listening to Mama's future predictions:   In 1982 you'll be crowned Miss America ....  My sister would earn the title a year or two before me.  It was easy to believe because all little girls want to be a princess and I had seen Mama dressed like one that time.

Sometimes I wonder if it was Mama who seeded my belief that every girl needs a Princess Dress.  More than anything though, her insistence that beauty grew from the inside out shaped my perspective.  When I was six or seven years old, Mama was already beginning to wire how one day I would parent my own children.

I doubt Mama realized how far her words and actions would reach into my future.  Did she have any idea that sometimes what you say or do sticks forever and can even seep into generations not yet born?

No matter how many people try to prepare you, what you really don't understand before having children – simply c.a.n.n.o.t. understand – is how hard motherhood is. 
I glance in my rear view mirror and see the Things I Wish I Had Done right next to the Things I Wish I Hadn't Done.  If I'm not careful, I'll melt quickly into a puddle of regret and doubt.

Then I consider my children – now 20, 18 and 16.  They're becoming who we prayed they'd become before they were born.   Lovies, when you're bone-weary and wondering, I promise your intention, diligence and training in the way they should go is worth it. 

Every once in a while I'll receive a paycheck from one of my kids, compensation that doesn't translate to dollars in my checking account.  Instead, b e t t e r, a treasure of incalculable value.  It usually starts like this:

"Mom, I'm so glad you..."

and they'll tell me something about they way we parent or a decision we made or something different from the parenting style of their friends' parents.  It doesn't mean we're better parents, but in whatever the particular case, what we did made a difference for our child.

One of these things I got right for my daughter but I missed for my son:  the redemption of a perceived physical imperfection.

Like my own mother, I've taught my children "pretty is as pretty does" and beauty goes deeper than skin and though people may judge others by what they look like,  [the Lord] judges people by what is in their hearts (a paraphrase of 1 Samuel 16:7).  That's all well and good - it's even true! – but we're bound by our skin suits and we can be awfully harsh critics of ourselves or self conscious about the ways we're different from others.

When I was little, a mole developed on the side of my nose and I thought it was a pimple.  I squished and poked that thing until it was a bloody mess, doing my best to get rid of it.  Eventually, I realized it wasn't going anywhere but I always felt like it was a flashing neon sign.  (Decades later it's still right where it was, but thankfully I rarely notice anymore.)

When my daughter was barely in grade school, I noticed a small freckle on the side of her nose.  Haunted by the memory of my own experience, I was concerned one day she would notice her freckle and feel ugly.  Like mine, it was right in the middle of her face.

I took a different approach, telling her from a young age how much I loved her beauty mark.  Less conspicuous was a birthmark on her thigh, and I would often touch it and reiterate how much I liked her special marks.  As she got older, I told her she would know her husband was "the one" when a special fella declared her nose freckle was one of his favorite things about her.

I often told her how pretty she was but praised her more so when she behaved beautifully–when she defended someone being picked on, befriended the friendless, babysat for friends with younger children so we could have adult time when they came over.

She gave me a paycheck recently when she told me she was so glad I had framed the way she looked at her beauty mark–that we called it a beauty mark in the first place!–and that she thought she would have seen it differently (negatively) had I never mentioned it.

It's equally crucial to call out and affirm things about our boys, too.  They want to be viewed as handsome and strong — think about how little boys ask you to feel their (non-existent) muscles! — and if they don't receive that kind of encouragement at home, like our daughters, they'll seek it elsewhere.

But even though I got this right with my daughter, I missed "redeeming" a perceived imperfection of my son.  Out of respect for his privacy, I won't go into the details; there are simply some things he doesn't like about his physical appearance.  Because to me it doesn't detract from him, it never occurred to me to frame how he viewed those physical characteristics.

There's no way of knowing if I could have altered his negative perception but I sure wish I had tried.

No matter how much we downplay physical beauty, there's something in us that longs to be seen as beautiful, as handsome.

If you're a mother, do you understand your power?

Mama, her frail body withered by cancer, dared to dream out loud with her little girls, imagining Princess Tales so we would feel beautiful.  She told stories about our future that we could cling to long after she was gone and as long as we needed to.

She framed the way we viewed ourselves, outside and in.  She made sure we knew which one counted the most while not insulting us by claiming the other one didn't exist or matter.

A mother's influence survives her own life and touches the future through her impact in her children's lives.

The way a mother sees her children can change the way they see themselves.

A mother heals with her touch, a boo-boo kiss, her soothing voice.

Heroic superpowers worthy of a cape and a tiara...but a mom is thrilled with – even prefers – a potted marigold decorated in thumbprint art and a hand-made card.

True beauty is unmistakable.

:::::::

By Robin Dance who might need a hug–her second baby and first-born son is graduating next week!

 

[Judy Harder]

Find What Feeds Your Heart
May 08, 2013 01:20 am | Holley Gerth


I walk through the door bone weary, head throbbing, searching for the nearest flat surface so I can sink into silence. I feel depleted, drained, tired in a way that makes my heart echo with emptiness.

Another day I walk through the door worn out but not worn down, ready for a nap but also ready to get up and go for it again, smiling even through the physical fatigue that tugs at every part of my body. My energy tank is empty but my heart is full.

One task depleted me–like a sugar crash after too much junk food.

The other filled me up–like a satisfying meal that makes you lean back in your chair and sigh with new strength.

Here's the catch: both looked like great opportunities on the outside.

But one was not for me.

And the next time it came around, I turned down another helping. That's hard for us as women {at least it is for me}. Saying "no" to what looks enticing and sweet even though we know it will ultimately not nourish us can be difficult to do. And yet discovering what truly feeds our hearts is essential.

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish His work" {John 4:34}.


What God truly has for us to do on this earth will fill us up deep inside. Oh, yes, we will get tired sometimes along the way. We will have struggles and face obstacles. But what He has for us is not meant to leave us continually empty.

Be careful if you're working hard "for God" and your heart feels hungry all the time.

Stop and ask Him, "Is this really, truly what You have for me? Have I taken in or taken on something You never intended?"

How do we even know what's God's will is?

Part of the process is that we are to "test and approve it" {Romans 12:2}. You might even say "taste and approve it" because just like your body knows what is good, your heart does too. But that only comes through experience.

So don't be afraid to try what's in front of you. Have a bite. Then see what happens.

Is it nourishing?

Soul filling?

Life giving?

Then have some more, my friend. But if it's not, it's okay to push the plate away or pass it on to someone else {because what feeds each of us is different}. You'll know when you've found what you need. You'll "taste and see that the Lord is good." {Psalm 34:8}.

And what He gives is good for you.

"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live." {Isaiah 55:2-3}.

God offers something better than a busy, full life.

He offers life to the full.

XOXO

–Holley Gerth, author of You're Made for a God-sized Dream

[Judy Harder]

For When You Feel Jealous
May 10, 2013 01:20 am | Tsh Oxenreider




A few weeks ago, I shared something with a group of (in)courage readers here—something raw and organic, something a bit stream-of-consciousness, but still pressing searing hot into my forehead for several weeks prior. I couldn't not share it with someone, and these gals were the recipients due to nearest online proximity that day.

This was something simmering in my heart, particularly how it related to community and the friendships birthed from it: JEALOUSY. Ugly, schoolgirl-feeling jealousy. It's embarrassingly easy to feel jealous of the skinny minnie in cute jeans at church, or the mom who has that amazing house with the high-end kitchen appliances. But I confess that where I—until recently—felt it run rampant in my heart was on the good ol' Internet.

I've been blogging for five years, and I had never really struggled with feelings of jealousy until the past few months. Watching other lovely bloggers who have a true gift with words do amazing things with their platform, who seem to feel so confident in their voice and their audience, who seem to make blogging look so easy, who seem to have shown up to the field out of nowhere and immediately start hitting homeruns out of the park...

My mind wanted to freely and wildly applaud for them with standing ovation, but deep down, my heart hurt. It hurt because I wished blogging were so easy for me, too, but really? It hurt because I wanted this jealousy clean and free from my life.



This temptation toward jealousy hit me like an unexpected wave in the midst of rolling water, and it left me choking a bit, complete with that icky saltwater taste in my mouth. But right when I thought it'd overcome me into inaction, Jesus met me exactly in my time of need.

When I sensed that wave of jealousy heading near, he'd point me to something He said in the Word, or to something a friend bravely wrote on her blog, or He'd simply orchestrate my day so that all I could do was lean into His calling and just be.

Here are the particular things that have helped free me from this recent, unexpected bout of jealousy.

1. Truth.
Specifically, the verse that came to mind time and time again was Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." This doesn't speak specifically about jealousy, but it had been my heavy labor, and this simple verse was my reminder to find rest from the waves in Jesus. And that I would find that rest when I come to Him.

2. A good word.
This post by my friend and fellow (in)courage girl Emily Freeman spoke volumes to me. It reminded me that God had given me my slice of calling to steward, just as he's given you, and you, and you. He is calling me to do well with what He's given me. And if I'm really honest, I can admit that I really like my slice. I don't want any more. It's abundant.

3. Say thanks.
To be offline, away from where the waves come crashing toward my heart, and instead list out the many, many blessings in my life. The tree in my yard blooming pink. My kids playing with the cardboard boxes. The light hitting the floor just so as the sun rises. A literal list of gratitude lifted my heart and freed me from a temptation towards jealousy.

4. Give.
Finally, born out of thanksgiving came a heart free to give. It wasn't much—a simple offer of advice, time to listen, clean counters or laundry folded with no expectation of thanks, a shout from my rooftop of another friend's stellar online work, a happy answer to a question. Once I was released from jealousy, I focused more on how I could serve rather than fester an ugly spirit of wondering why I wasn't being served.

It was freedom to enjoy what was already given to me in abundance, then finding creative ways to share it with others.

It's human to struggle with things like jealousy, but what's superhuman is the ability to rise above it. And thanks be to God, we've been given that strength in abundance, right when we need it.

How do you struggle with jealousy?

by Tsh of Simple Mom

[Judy Harder]

When I Became a Mother
May 11, 2013 01:20 am | Lisa Leonard




He came out quietly. There were whispers from the doctors. There was a terrifying tension that filled the room.

After the doctors did a quick evaluation, Steve, my husband, brought David over to me and laid this tiny, swaddled baby on my chest. He was adorable. He had a full head of hair, blue eyes and a button nose.

He also had only two fingers on his left hand, a severe heart defect and, we would soon find out, a genetic disorder that would make life look very different for our new baby.

The day my son was born was the day I began to learn that being a mom was about sacrifice. For me, being a new mom meant g-tube feeds, surgery, doctor visits and sleepless nights.

But most of all, being a new mom meant opening my heart to a new kind of love. This little man came into my life and turned it upside down. He made me better. He made me less selfish.

David makes the sunshine brighter and the stars twinkle at night. He made me a mother, and I love him more than words can say.

Psalm 139:14: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I know for many of you motherhood is not what you expected. Maybe it's been more challenging than you thought it would be {it's definitely been harder than I thought!}. Or maybe you've loved deeper than you ever thought possible.

Share with us one way being a mother has changed you. Or if you're not a mother, share one special thing your mother did that shaped you


A Mother's Day Scripture & Video
May 12, 2013 01:20 am | incourage



This Mother's Day video – click to view – is based on a blog post written by our very own Lisa-Jo Baker. May it encourage and remind you that:

There are those who say this is ordinary.
Don't buy that for a second.
You are mighty, because you mother.

Therefore, my dear sisters, stand firm.
Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:58

And for you, those of you without moms, please feel our prayers wrapped around you today and these words tenderly offered:

25 truths for the motherless daughter to hold onto this weekend
Mother's Day for the motherless daughter
Happy Mother's Day. Every single woman who loves, sacrifices, encourages, tends, cares, raises, praises, shapes, forms, nurtures and releases the people who become part of the next generation, no matter how you came to be connected with them, is mighty, and your labor is not in vain.

Thank you for all that you are and all that you do.

Love,
The (in)courage team