(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

A Heart To Serve

There was this heart so tender.... So eager to serve ,  give, love and worship.

There was a young woman, a wife, a mom – with this heart so tender.

She was given much responsibility.  She found new friends.  She loved her family, she loved her Savior, and she loved Serving.

Many years go by.  She is still married, still having children, and still serving.

Until... the years that have gone by... with the hurt word, the criticism, the man-made rules, and the friend-ships that walked away- were still there... In her heart... hurting.

What's a girl to do?

Her life of service for her King, now dragging along the baggage of hurt, fear of man, and somewhat anger at the Pharisees that pointed their fingers and said... "You are not good enough for us anymore!"

What's a hurting heart to do?

HEAL...

Let Jesus heal... that broken heart.

Let Jesus take the painful criticism.. The pointing fingers, the critical spirits, and the anger... and let HIM take it away.

He is the only ONE who can!

One by one... that girl allowed the sin of worry, doubt, anger, and fear creep into her Life of Service...

Because of Man.   Man-made  rules, ideas, and opinions.

When Service becomes a battle of baggage, unclaimed by the one who is carrying it...

It is to be cast at the Savior's Feet.

He never meant for the Love of the young woman for His Name, and her love, and desire to serve .....To turn into a burden that breaks her heart.

Reprieve – Step Back.  Rest.   Heal.  See the vision clearly again.

Let The ONE you serve- Reclaim you, for HIM again.

And when the heart is healed – it will overflow with an abundance of love, understanding, and energy for the Girl that she use to be- serving next door.

Jesus Heals Broken Hearts- mended for His Service- again and again.  He healed mine.

By September McCarthy- Embracing Life and Motherhood at One September Day


Holding Loosely {And a Giveaway}


In relationships, I have found that we really must find the important balance between holding on tight and letting go. As individuals, we often tend towards one extreme or the other, depending on our personalities, family history and disposition.  There are dangers inherent in each of these approaches.

When we hold tightly in relationships, we might very well have a grip on the person, in that we are not going to lose them.  But, there is a risk in holding tightly. We just might choke, smother, or suffocate them.

In contrast, if we take the posture of letting go, we will not be as intrusive or harsh as when we are holding tightly. We might easily lose the thing we are holding, and communicate a lacksidasical spirit.

It is risky.

Imagine a delicate, colorful butterfly flitting around your yard and lighting on your hand.  How would you hold it?  If you held your hands completely open, palms flat, chances are it would fly away.  In contrast imagine if you squeezed your hands together and held on tightly, in fear of losing her.  It might crush her. 

But what if you cupped your hands, to where they created a safe, enclosed, yet spacious place for her to be?

When I was in college, my wise friend, Jen, was counseling me, as I was brokenhearted.  I had been misled by a boy and was emotionally wrought.  She encouraged me to "hold loosely" to this relationship.  She gave me the gift of this metaphor and I have carried the wisdom from that moment with me for two decades.

Holding loosely is the balance between holding tightly and letting go.

It's not losing a hold, and relinquishing, like letting go, but it's not the gripping, desperate feeling of holding tightly.  The posture of holding loosely communicates: "I am here, I want to be with you, I am holding onto you.  However, my hands are gently holding, with as much space as I can create for you to breath and move,"

This holding loosely corresponds with Jesus' command to "love your neighbor as yourself".  How do I want to be held in relationships? Possessively clutched in a way that can crush me? No. Or, conversely – open handed with no hold or security offered or effort exerted? No. Rather, I want to be held in the gentle hold of a loving, open, spacious space of a caring other. There I find love and security and yet room to breath and become my truest self.  Within this posture, we love our neighbor as ourselves.

This principle has been applicable in all of my relationships: with family, and girlfriends, children and co-workers, even with my husband and children.  We all desire to be known, loved, cherished, understood and not forgotten.  And we all want to find grace, openness, and freedom.  We want to be our truest, best selves. We often become that within the context of healthy relationships.




GIVEAWAY! Consider your current posture in your relationships.  Are you holding loosely to those you love?

We'll choose FIVE commenters to win a copy of Relate.

{Learn more about Relate: Knowing, Loving, and Forgiving the People in Your Life here}

By Julie, Cup-a Cup-a



Community: Moving into the Neighborhood
Feb 15, 2012 12:10 am | Sarah Markley




I've visited lots of places, but I've never lived in Paris or London. I've walked through the Louvre and through the British Museum, but I've have not made either city my home.

I've been to Washington DC, and in fact, besides Los Angeles which is in my back yard, DC might be the city in the U.S. that I've visited most frequently. But I have never lived in the city. The Library of Congress: love it. Georgetown Cupcakes: to die for but get there early. Tourist attractions by the armload in all different seasons: in February it was too cold to walk on the Mall and in July it was too humid to walk in the same place. I've been to DC. But even so, I've never made it my home.

They say that until you live in a city for 2 years or 4 years or more you don't really KNOW it. You can't really get to know the people, the good and the bad restaurants, the vibe, or the essence of a place until you've walked in, set down your luggage, and unpacked it. Instead of bringing your reading material from home, you get a local library card. Instead of dropping by the take out place for dinner, you buy ingredients to make a meal. Instead of seeing only the museums and cathedrals, you visit the parks, the Tuesday night summer festivals and the concerts-on-the-green. You live like a local.

We can't really experience a place until we do a couple things: intend to stay and then actually stay.

I think communities are like this too.

We've been talking this month on (in)courage about what it means to be a part of a community, what it means to be engulfed by sisters and what it looks like to have friends. There has been both pain and joy with friendships, and we've all certainly had different experiences in Christian communities like churches and in public communities like schools and neighborhoods. On the surface the idea of community seems easy, like making friends in Kindergarten. But we all know that really feeling a part of a community is something hard-won. Nothing about it is simple.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

And I would argue, "a time to go and a time to stay put." A time to stay awhile. A time to dig in. A time to set down your suitcase and unpack your favorite chotchkies.

We aren't always meant to stick through a hard thing. That was the biggest issue for me when we decided to change churches over 18 months ago. "Do I dig in and stay through this difficult thing even though I'm dying inside? Or is God telling us it's time to leave? We have 'stayed put' for 12 years; maybe it's time to turn the page."

After much prayer and heartache, we decided that it was time to go.

But sometimes we are supposed to stay. If we want to experience real community, we have to make both an intention to stay put and then actually do it.

Joining a new church or a new community is like moving to a new city: At first everything is foreign, everything is strange and nothing feels like home. But after awhile, after a year or two, things begin to become normal. We know what time the bus passes the corner, we know what day the trash trucks rumble down the street at 5 AM and we know whose face it is that will greet us at our new favorite restaurant.

We often leave at the first sign of discomfort or loneliness. We say, but no one knows me! No one understands me! I feel so alone.

What I'm learning about community is that in order to experience it in the way that I believe we were created to, part of it is simply staying awhile. The only way to really become known, to become "with", and to become understood is to stay put and moving into the neighborhood.

By Sarah Markley who is working on the concept of kicking off her shoes and staying awhile.

Do you have trouble staying put? Have you found that some of community is just being there for awhile? What is the hardest/easiest things about a new neighborhood or a new community?

[Judy Harder]

When A Comment Breaks Your Heart

Annie Downs




Last month, a few of us wrote about our plans for 2012, especially as it pertains to being single. I read every single comment and this one.... well. You'll see.

Hi, while I appreciate your desire for single women to be encouraged to live differently and sharing principles we all should live by....why doesn't anyone ever validate that being single in your 30s can seriously break your heart everyday. ... I don' t know if there are others out there like me who dreamed of and planned for nothing more than serving beside a husband serving in ministry, raising a godly family and serving those around us, who are just left heartbroken and disappointed and stuck in a life they never wanted, but if there are I wish that someone would write about how to trust God and hope again in the midst of your heart being shattered by unfulfilled dreams and lifeplans that doesn't start with being grateful for things we don't have.

I will write about it.

You want to know why I haven't written about being single for the last ten years that I've been writing? Because it can be awful and confusing and the kind of pain that is hard to describe with words.

It's a deep hurt. And it raises a lot of questions.

Why won't anyone pick me?
What's wrong with me?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I too ugly? Fat? Skinny? Tall? Smart? Dumb? Short?
Why does God give her a husband and not me?
Why does God answer my other prayers but not this one?
Will I die alone?
And to tell the truth, there are probably fifty more questions. Those are just the ones that I can spout off the top of my head.

So JJ the commenter, your emotions are valid. Way valid. They are real and I get it.

I bet a lot of women do.

The day before I turned 28, I couldn't get out of bed. I have never been that sad before. But on that day, July 6, 2008, I was absolutely unequivocally heartbroken. I rolled over, grabbed my computer from the floor and wept as I emailed my two best friends.

I don't remember the whole email and to be honest, I'm not going to search through my archives. I don't want to read it again. But I remember one very dramatic line- "I can't do this another day."

You want me to get ugly honest about what it can be like to be a single Christian woman?

Sometimes, you don't think you can do another day.

[But I did do it another day. I've done it for approximately 1300 more days.]

I know. There are worse things in the world. I get it- being single is nothing compared to other heartbreaks in life, but it is a heartbreak nonetheless.

Because it goes deeper than being alone at the dinner table or in the bed. If you're a Christian and being a wife is something you have longed and prayed for, having that desire unmet can get super personal between you and God.

It changes from an unmet desire to an unanswered prayer. And no matter what Garth Brooks says, sometimes it does not feel possible to thank God for unanswered prayers.

So how do we trust God, and I mean REALLY trust God, even when these emotions are real and true and living just right below the surface?

I don't totally know.

I know that single women deal with this. But I bet married women do too. We all have things we've dreamed for and longed for and not received when we wanted them.

So as unconventional as this is, and as much as we all wish I'd finish this with a list of behaviors that lead to trusting and contentment, I'm not going to do that.

We are a community here at (in)courage. We care for each other. So I'm going to let y'all care for JJ and for me and for each other.

So let's answer that question...

How can I trust God and hope again in the midst of my heart being shattered by unfulfilled dreams and life plans?

Help, y'all. Help.

[Judy Harder]

Relationships: The Schoolhouse of Christ-likeness.

Julie Hunt


I remember a distinct moment several years ago, when I was meditating on the bold verse – Philippians 3:10, where Paul claims, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him even unto death".  It is such a beautiful, powerful, momentous verse.  I thought, "Yes! I want this! I do"!  And then I asked myself, "Really?? Do I really want this? What do I most want, truly?" Humbled, I had to admit that what I really want is comfort and ease!  If you are real with yourself you probably do too.  I find myself wishing for this and feeling discontent when things are painful and difficult.

I want to have a beautiful home, without having to stress out all the time over it.  I want to exhibit joy and peace and love and gentleness in my life without having to deal with difficult, draining, disappointing circumstances and people.  I want to be fit and healthy and beautiful without much effort. I want people to like me, and serve me, and to serve them.  I want my kids to be perfectly behaved while I sit on the porch and read a book. I realize that there is incongruence between what I really want, in my heart of hearts, and what I want on a daily, gut level.

I want to be Christ-like.  However, I am realizing that being LIKE Him involves struggle, and discomfort and the vulnerability of relationships.  And relationships require work and commitment, humility and yielding.  They oftentimes require sacrifice, disappointment and inconvenience!  Stephanie Paulsell, in On Our Way, writes about relationships being the classroom for our sanctification.  She states, "friendship teaches us to care about another's pain, another's joy...our friends help us to be ourselves, but they also help us to be more than we knew ourselves to be." So, if indeed relationships are where we become like Christ, then we ought to make them a great priority!

How can we learn humility, except in the context of relationships?

How can we learn gentleness, patience, kindness, faithfulness, except in relation to people?

How can we live lives of service, or generosity, if not through relationships?

So, if you truly can say you want to know Christ, and want to follow Him and grow in your likeness of Him, relationships are a requirement! I am realizing that they are the school-house for godliness.

GIVEAWAY! Fill in the blank: One thing I'm learning through friendship is ________________.

We'll choose FIVE commenters to win a copy of Relate.

{Learn more about Relate: Knowing, Loving, and Forgiving the People in Your Life here}

By Julie, Cup-a Cup-a


How's Your Reach?

Barbie Swihart


In our fast-paced world, we are always reaching for something.

Reaching for significance.

Reaching for success.

Reaching for position.

Reaching for love.

All of these things are good.  But I have found myself asking this question: Am I reaching for the One who can give me everything that I desire?

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me.  (Philippians 3:12 Message)

I go through seasons in my life where I become comfortable with the current state of my heart, comfortable with where I have "arrived".  And in those times, I forget to reach.  I forget to lay hold of that which is yet to be.  I forget to strive for the greater potential.  When I find myself here in this place, I must call it for what it is — complacency.

Complacency: a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.

Uncritical satisfaction.  It's not striving for the greater good, forgetting that God has so much more for me.  Or maybe I just become lazy.  It's too hard to reach.  Too hard to pull on the potential of heaven and bring it into my own reality.  In this place, I have become satisfied with my life — my family, my ministry, my relationships.  I am literally wasting my life away, content to be where I am without going forward.  As I curl up on the couch in my comfy sweats with my chocolate and coffee, I forget that God has called me for so much more than this.  It is not His desire that I live to survive.  He has called me to thrive. He has called me to live a life of abundance.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  (John 10:10)

The enemy of our souls' purpose is that we would waste our lives away on those things that are of no eternal value.  He does not desire that we walk in the abundant life that Christ paid for.  Everywhere I look, people are wasting their lives away on something — careers, relationships, social media, hobbies.  Although these things are good, they are only momentary pleasures.  When we become content and satisfied with what we have, we forget to reach and ask God for more.

How is your reach?  Are you pulling on heaven and asking God for the fullness of what He has for you today?

By Barbie at My Freshly Brewed Life.


The Canopy
Feb 17, 2012 12:10 am | Stephanie Bryant




I was five. The furniture salesman asked my Dad 'How can I help you today. Looking for anything particular?'

My Dad grinned, motioned for the man's attention to head my direction and stepped back.

In my small hands were new bills, recently exchanged from quarters that were ear-marked for Pac-Man but were saved, birthday checks from Aunt Sue, and little tuck-ins that Meme made sure I had on the everyday-normal kind of days.

I unfolded the ad ripped from a magazine and carefully showed it to the man. He smiled and asked if that's what I was looking for.

{Was he kidding? This wasn't just what I was looking for, this white four-poster bed with hand painted flowers gracing the headboard, beautifully adorned with a gauzy canopy, had been my dream bed for over a year.}

This bed was the one that I had wanted, asked for, saved for. The bed that would be the centerpiece of future slumber parties and awkward phone calls with boys. The one that would console my tears prompted by a mean girl and prop me up while I studied for AP classes. This was THE bed and I knew it.

Fast forward more than 28 years and I still love that bed. It's traveled with me from my parents' house to my first home, to the storage shed after I married, and then after our last move, it sits in our garage next to my car.

I think I got attached since it was such major purchase at such a young age. One of the first dreams realized has a way of imprinting on a heart forever.

I convinced myself that someday I would give it to my daughter. But I'm sure that would be like a faded wedding dress that was worn 30 years before to a newly engaged bride-to-be. . . not exactly her taste.

The other morning as I was pulling into our garage, I glanced at the four posters sticking up over cardboard. It made me sad. For the first time I realized that it's purpose was being wasted. As silly as this might sound, I started to pray for God to show me what to do with this bed {plus desk, chair and small side table. My parents bought the rest of the set after I purchased the bed}.

Funny. . .  how God prompts us with His Spirit about the smallest of small, the very things that we deem unimportant are sometimes the closest to our heart and hardest to do.

What you don't know is that this week I was praying "that I would imitate the Lord. As a result, becoming an example to all Christians. And that the word of the Lord would ring out to people everywhere, all over the world, because of my faith in God." {based on 1 Thess 1:6-8}

Just a day later, in our church bulletin, was a small announcement for a Furniture Loan Program to international students at our local university. I circled it and contacted Bill this morning.

I confess that I hoped that 'Loan Program' meant that I would get the bed back, maybe a little roughed up, but I would still have it. His email came back with the news that Jesus used.  It's a gift, not a loan. Deep down I knew it would be. I must give the bed and all that goes with it to these students. . . and God will answer my simple, courageous prayer through it.

Funny how Jesus prompts us to pray. How He orchestrates timing and reasons that are beyond our imagination. How God can use the dream of a little girl and a canopy bed to reach the lost, teach true generosity, and fling His Word to the ends of the earth.

What are you holding on to, storing in your house or your soul, hoping you don't have to give?

Jesus gently nudges.

He will show you the clear signs and help you notice them when you don't want to. He will give you the courage to do the small so He can free you up to the do the sometimes bigger, for Him.

He will spread your canopy of faith to the ends of the earth and bring joy to your heart.


{Bill is coming on Saturday to pick up the bedroom set. I am weepy, mourning a bit of my childhood, and at the same time I am so thrilled that God will use it for His Kingdom. I pray the Chinese couple who arrive to the U.S. next week will sleep well, feel close to God and accept His free gift of salvation. I know in my bones that I'll meet this couple that sleeps under the canopy in Heaven someday.}

[Judy Harder]

Cold Coffee
Feb 18, 2012 12:30 am | Angie




Our coffee had been cold for 2 hours, and despite the fact that the waiter was ready for us to leave, we kept talking.

And talking.

And talking.

I missed the appointment I had scheduled for after the breakfast, and we went straight through lunch in the same chairs.

The entire time I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to say. What in the world was I supposed to say?

I didn't know her well enough to say anything definitive or gripping. In fact, I felt like I was just supposed to be a listener.Even as she went through the details, I found myself thinking the same thing she had been thinking only a few weeks ago.

This could never happen to me.


It had started as a business relationship, and ended with his clothes thrown on the front lawn. And what we were dealing with at that moment was the question of "what next?"

I didn't have the answer.

I teared up a few times, and I leaned across the table to let her know I was listening. Really listening. And I was. But I was also thinking.

If this happened to her, why not me?

My marriage has not been perfect. Far from it, honestly. I don't talk about our fights publicly, and I don't blog about things that I believe are private. For me, there is great good that can come of someone's hurt, but it doesn't always happen during the hurt. When Todd and I have had hard times (and we have had plenty), I didn't write about it, in fact, I stopped writing. It's not what everyone would choose in that situation, and there isn't a right or wrong. But it didn't feel like something that was enough in retrospect for me to speak to. I was in the middle of it. Are Todd and I separating? Absolutely not. Not ever. I love this man with everything I have to love. But good gracious, we are a mess sometimes.

And today, as I sat with a friend, I realized that it was more than a conversation. It was an awakening. My marriage is not perfect. There are days where it's not even great. And others where it's downright atrocious.

As I looked into eyes of hurt this morning, while patrons hustled in and out of the diner, I was spellbound by the circumstances of this story, and how eerily it mirrored mine. It was a phone conversation that led to an argument. It was dinner gone cold while she waited for him. It was one mis-interpreted, mis-construed, misunderstood comment after another, and it had turned into this. And who am I to think that it would never happen to me?

Let me clarify before the rumor mills start churning. I would tell you with absolute sincerity that Todd would chop off a limb before he would have an affair. Truthfully, it is nothing that I think about. I've never, never, never worried about it.

That wasn't what I was hearing from her though, and it rocked me deeply.

What am I cultivating? My marriage, or my platform?
My children, or my blog?
My home, or my credentials?
My heart, or my God's?

I'm not really wrapped up in any of those things. I am a really inconsistent blogger, I am still not very fond of speaking, and the whole "being in the public eye" is more torture than ego. Truth. Absolute truth.

But sometimes my calendar says different.

It isn't about an affair specifically, and I'm certainly not putting blame on her for her husband's decisions (please don't even think that for a second, because it is completely untrue).  I just want to feel like my priorities are right. I want to believe I'm putting the weight of my life where God most desires it. I don't want to neglect what's important because there was something else that demanded my attention.

I don't want to run after something and then realize I was missing the entire race.


So let's pull back the lens a little bit and realize that our time is short and our decisions have eternal weight. Where are the places in your life that you have chosen you over Him? It isn't too late.

It's never too late.

Make this day an offering, and consider this an extension of our welcome to use this place as an altar. Don't feel pressure to write any details or even leave a comment. But know that I am praying for you, you sweet friends who visit us here. We all walk long roads. We all wish we could start over sometimes. We all need to be told it isn't too late to make it beautiful.

As a reminder, this is a place where we love each other furiously, and with the grace that the Lord gives us. And on many, many occasions, we are honored to let our coffee go cold for the sake of loving you.

Prayers today, from me to you...

{In the event that infidelity has been part of your story, I would love to introduce you to my dear friend Trish and her husband Justin. They have a ministry called Refine Us that I pray is a blessing to you.}

By Angie Smith

[Judy Harder]

How Can We Pray For You Today?

Lisa-Jo




The Bible tells us,

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them." Matthew 18:20.

We believe it.

Whether we're gathered around a kitchen table, a newborn baby, a brand new project, a hospital bed or a blog comment box.

So sisters, how can we gather around and pray for you today? It's been a while since we shared prayer requests – let's open our hearts today. And please take a moment to pray for the woman who commented right before you.

With much love on this day of rest,

Lisa-Jo, Gypsy Mama and community manager for (in)courage

[Judy Harder]

Faithfulness vs. Prominence

Joy Dombrow




"How have you been? What have you been up to?"

In a rare once in a while, this question is asked of me and I can respond with some interesting tale of a significant accomplishment or a prominent role into which I have stepped. But more often than not, the crickets chirp amongst the silence in my head as I strain to remember something from my days that is worth sharing. It all seems rather unimportant, insignificant. Mind you, I am well aware that what I do has great worth in the eyes of God, raising two beautiful children, loving my husband, and helping to shepherd a faith family. But to relay it to another human being (especially someone that happens to being doing such things plus rising on the prominence ladder) seems, well, so boring. And here is where the comparison game can get deadly.

She is the PTO president and puts on amazing class parties.

She had 100 people at her 40th birthday party.

She is on the speaking circuit, broadening her influence to thousands.

Her blog stats are off the charts.

That pastor's wife runs an international women's conference.

"I don't know how she does it all".

She is running a corporation.

She is changing the world through her service.

She is making a difference.

Okay, so you could continue and extend this list to fit your circumstances, but you know exactly what I mean, right? Sometimes, life seems a little too mundane, a little too inconspicuous and everyone else around you is seemingly making an significant impact on the world. Perhaps the season of folding laundry and wiping snotty noses will pass and/or lead to something a little more glamorous.

But what if it doesn't? What then?

A life of perceived prominence is no more significant than a life of faithfulness. In fact, a truly successful life is a faithful life. It is a life that consistently does the right thing over time, stringing together little choices and decisions which strengthen the fabric and deepen the textures of our legacy.

Perhaps faithfulness will lead to greater influence. God certainly says that if we are faithful with the little things that He will allow us to have more. It is our faithfulness that makes us trustworthy to God. But even if the influence does not broaden in scope, the faithfulness alone is what makes us successful. (And sometimes, prominence can even get in the way of faithfulness).

No, a faithful life usually doesn't receive a lot of accolades. Faithful people tend to get overlooked, since they are about the little things, not the big ones. It is the unglamorous side of the Christian life for it requires moving in the same direction down a long and windy road, believing that the desired destination is just ahead. And therein lies the faith of faithfulness. It is believing in the unseen and trusting that this humble life is the best life, because it is the one He asks of you.

So hang in there dear one, and let me applaud you from my tiny platform. Your faithful life may be overshadowed by the clamors of others more prominent, but it stands in full glory (accompanied by great fanfare) before the King of Kings.

By Joy Dombrow, Living Loved.



I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, squinting from the lights above while also trying to open my eyelids so I could brush mascara on my lashes. My mouth opened too, almost instinctively. I wondered why opening my mouth also opened my eyes. It didn't make sense and neither did the way I was feeling.

I had been struggling with paralyzing self-doubt that week, and it was making me question everything. Now here I was now, getting ready to travel to speak at a large women's event and begging God to zap me with confidence or send Jesus back before I got there.

Although I felt honored when I was invited months before, now I questioned why I'd said yes. My internal dialogue was relentless...What if I forget my message? What if they don't connect with my stories or laugh at my humor? What if...?


After I finished my make-up, I turned around to put something in my suitcase and I noticed a huge nine-foot shadow on the wall. I was surprised how big the shadow was, and how much it was distorting the image of my five-foot, two-inch frame.

All of a sudden, it dawned on me: my uncertainty had created a huge shadow—a shadow of doubt.

Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions.

As I stood there looking at the humongous shadow, I sensed God whispering to my heart: You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light. Slowly I turned back toward the lights above the mirror, and realized I was no longer standing in the shadow. And that was the day I discovered the shadow of my doubts.

In the shadow of doubt, insecurity paralyzes us with statements like:

"I can't do this."
"Things will never change."
"My life isn't going to get better."
"I'll never have the confidence I need."

Those are some depressing thoughts, aren't they? But oh how quickly they weasel their way into our minds and disguise their voices to sound like ours. Sometimes we agree with them and they become our own.

God doesn't want us living in a cycle of defeat of dwelling in the shadows of doubt. In Isaiah 49:23, He says: "Then you will know that I am the LORD. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed." Yet, doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. As God's girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different. Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat—but it is not supposed to be this way.

God declares with confidence that things can change—"See, I am doing a new thing!" "I am working all things together for good, because you love me and are called according to my purpose." "All things are possible to {her} who believes" (Isa. 43:19; Rom. 8:28; Mark 9:23 NASB).

In my book, A Confident Heart, I talk about how we can identify and overcome our most common self-doubts. It's a daily process but we can replace our lack of confidence with lasting "God-fidence" – as we learn to live in the security of His promises each day. This week I hope you'll join me here as we learn how to move beyond believing in God to really believing Him by relying on the power of His Truth and living like it's true, no matter what our feelings or circumstances tell us!

By Renee Swope, Leading Women to Live Confidently in Christ



On Having It All Together and The Lie of Perfection
Feb 20, 2012 12:10 am | Jessica Turner


As a blogger, I receive emails from readers asking things like:

How do you do it all?
I don't. Seriously. I wish you could see my to list. Or even just my laundry baskets.

How do you keep your house clean?
That's funny. It's a mess most days. Cheerios can almost always be found on the floor. And dusting? That never happens.

How do you find time to cook?
I use the crock-pot more than the oven.

In short, I do NOT have it all together.

I struggle with the same things you do.

There's never enough time in a day. I could always be a better wife, mother, friend.

I am just an average woman trying to make things work, one day at a time.

Some days go better than others and I complete the to do list, but more often, I fall short.

Very short.

It's funny how people's perceptions are often so different from reality.

Doesn't it seem like everyone else has it all together?

It's a lie.


No one does.

Consider these words by Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

Forget Not:
1) to be patient with yourself.
2) the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish one.
3) to be happy NOW.
4) the 'why' of the gospel.
5) that the Lord loves you.

Such a  simple, profound reminder that I believe can radically impact a life. Instead of trying to obtain the "magic" how to from someone, let's remember Uchtdorf's words this month.

Today, prayerfully ask God to show you areas of your life that need more patience, what is worth sacrificing and how you can be happier. Also, ask Him to keep your heart fixed on the truth of His love and to not believe the lie that everyone else's life is perfect.

I'm praying the same for my life. And the next time someone asks me about how I do it all, I'm going to laugh and say, "come on sister, I'm just like you. We can't do it all, but we can remember that the Lord loves us and try to be patient with ourselves."

Free Printable:
I loved Uchtdorf's quote so much, that I asked Candice of Coco Prints if we could offer her design as a free printable, and she said yes!

To help encourage you, please print off this free printable from Coco Prints featuring Uchtdorf's quote (click on the image to view the high res image, then save it to your computer).:



By Jessica of The Mom Creative

[Judy Harder]

I Was Her

Lysa

I saw her coming across the arena. Deliberately. Intentionally. Her eyes fixed on the stage... on me... on what I must have represented in that moment, a woman who might understand.

Through the crowd. Up the stairs. Across the stage. She stood next to me pressing her shoulder against mine as I was speaking to 6500 women.

And there she was staring out at thousands. But pressing into one. Needing more than words.

Later she explained she needed to feel God and thought if she stood close enough to me, she just might be able to feel Him.

I didn't have time to carefully plan what to do. I've never had this happen before. I've never seen this happen. It wasn't even on my scope of possibility. But there she was. And there I was. Two women who simply and desperately need Jesus.

And because I am so hyper aware of my own desperation for Jesus every moment of every day, I simply wrapped my arm around her and kept on speaking.

It was a wrinkle in time. Something that wasn't supposed to be and yet was. And I think I now know why.

I needed to remember that ravenous longing I once had to press against somebody who knew Jesus. I was her. Looking at other people's faith wondering how to get that. That depth. That closeness. That unswerving conviction.

I truly thought if only a person with that faith would let me close enough, I'd discover their secret. I'd learn their routines. I'd mimic their obedience. I'd follow them to the ends of the earth until I got it right. Then, then, then, I'd feel close to Jesus. I'd understand the Bible. I'd pray powerful prayers. And all would finally make sense.

However, there is a big difference between being close to people who love Jesus and being close to Jesus Himself.

I can certainly learn from people. "He who walks with the wise, grows wise." (Proverbs 13:20)

But if I want closeness with Jesus, I won't find that in following anyone but Jesus Himself. He is the One who must be pursued.

There have been a thousand whispers from my heart, "Show me, Jesus. Show me how to follow you, be close to you, press into you, be more like you... show me. Show me today. Show me in this minute. Show me, please Jesus, show me."

A thousand whispers. And there will surely be thousands more. For following Jesus can't be put into a formula.

He simply says, "Follow me." And those who dare to whisper, "yes, that's what I want," and then walk in the ways He tells us to, find Him. I've discovered when I position myself to be in the places where Jesus is the focus, I find Him.

I find Him in the middle of a worship song at church. I find Him when I read the Bible. I find Him when I quietly whisper thank you and choose to see the blessings woven all through my day.

That's what I want this woman who came on stage to press against me to know. If you seek Him, you will find Him.

Yes, there she was. And there I was. Two women who simply and desperately need Jesus.

By Lysa TerKeurst

[Judy Harder]

Wouldn't it be great if becoming a Christian meant all of our doubts and fears went away? Have you ever wondered why you struggle with insecurities and self-doubts even though you know you are a child of God?

Maybe God is leading you to do something but doubt has convinced you you're not smart enough or gifted enough. Perhaps you wanted kids and now you have a family, but now you question if you have what it takes to be a good mom. Or maybe you've wanted to change jobs and now have opportunity, but doubt you will succeed at something new.

In Monday's post, I described the day I discovered the shadow of my doubt. After begging God to zap me with confidence {and realizing it wasn't going to happen} I asked Him show me what made me start feeling so insecure and uncertain.

Immediately I remembered Gideon, a man who was also called by God yet paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy.

From reading his story in Judges 6, I knew Gideon overcame his doubts and fears by focusing on what God thought about him, instead of what he thought about himself. But first, Gideon processed his doubts with God in a very honest way. He told the angel of the Lord that he questioned God's presence and doubted His promises because of recent conflicts and defeats.


It was time for me to get honest with God, too. I needed more than a quick fix; I needed to figure out what triggered my self-doubts and led me into such a yucky place of uncertainty.

Earlier that week a conflict with a friend made me doubt I should even be in ministry. After all, self-doubt whispered, if I can't maintain healthy relationships at all times in all areas, how can I help others? I also received feedback on a project that week. Although there were several positive comments, one harsh criticism overshadowed the compliments and consumed my focus.

I had also fallen into the comparison trap and caught myself comparing my abilities as a speaker to others who'd been booked for an upcoming event with me. Self-doubt convinced me I wasn't as gifted as they were.

Conflict, criticism and comparison had sent me into the shadows of doubt.

What about you? When conflict arises at home or at work, do you ever assume it disqualifies you from other ministries or callings? Does criticism ever paralyze you from believing you can do certain things? Or, has comparison ever convinced you that someone else can do it (whatever "it" is) better than you can?

I used to think insecurity was a negative emotion, a lapse of faith, a dip in self-confidence, and I wanted God to  simply make my doubts go away. But instead, God has used my doubts to lead me to a place of deeper dependence on Him and His promises.

In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can allow God to change the way we think, which will change the way we feel, and eventually transform the way we live!

It's not a quick fix but a powerful process of identifying our doubts, what triggers them and then learning to rely on God's power and promises to lead us beyond the shadow of our doubts.

So, the next time you start feeling uncertain or insecure, ask God to help you identify what thoughts triggered your doubts. Then process that trigger point through the filter of God's perspective. Asking Him if there are lies you're believing that need to be replaced with His truth. Then change your thought process by focusing on His thoughts towards you, instead of your thoughts about yourself. For instance:

When doubt tells you that you can't do something because it's too hard, remember God says you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil. 4:13).
When doubt tells you that you're not good enough, focus on the truth that God says you're fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and you are one of them (Ps. 139:14).
Friend, I have no doubt God wants you to live with a confident heart! Some days it will be about what He's calling you to do— but more than that it will be about what He wants to do in you — as you learn to completely depend on Him!

By Renee Swope, Leading Women to Live Confidently in Christ



One of the many faces today's churches seem to have taken on apart from God's leading is that of the Stepford wives syndrome – picture perfection, all smiles and saccharine sweetness. To maintain such an image, members of the Church have learned to avoid conflict at all costs.

We sit together on opposite ends of a small rowboat in the midst of a raging storm, refusing to address our differing paddling methods for fear we may rock the boat – never mind that the crashing waves have already rocked the boat to the point of sinking.

Perhaps at first we avoid conflict for the sake of preserving relationship, fearing a friendship cannot weather the storm of contrary thoughts or feelings. Eventually, however, as we watch the friendship die in silence, the truth emerges – what we feared most all along was not losing the friendship, but something else entirely. Perhaps the mirage of a perfectly shaped world, a sense of control, or our pride.

Is this what God asks of us – conflict-free perfection? Is this what He means when His Word says we should not be a house divided, but should be of one mind?

I worked in an organization where sweeping conflict under the rug to remain hidden is precisely what made the house fall again and again. To be a body made of diverse parts inevitably means differences will arise. The mind and feet may want to run while the heart and arms desire embrace.



Such conflict is not bad. How we approach it can be, but the approaching itself is not wrong. There are reasons the parts behave differently – it is good that they do. But we rarely learn what to do with these differences. Many fail to speak the truth while others fail to speak it in love.

Our teachers tend to be parents squashing emotion or exploding in rage;

cultures idealizing happiness as ultimate good, forbidding that any cause discomfort;

churches silencing members for the appearance of kindness, goodness, gentleness – as though God's Spirit is incapable of producing such fruit;

science informing of only two options – the nerves say flee, so we dare not fight.

But I do not speak of fighting, not with fists or with words. [How ridiculous we inculcate children with rhymes causing wonder at words that cause pain. At least bones broken by sticks and stones can heal with time. The cuts of words run deep and fester.]

We cannot all just get along until we first learn to not get along. It is time for the Church to teach the truth about conflict. We cannot afford to continue running.

The Scriptures present peace as an active concept, one to be pursued, not simply arrived at by placating. Ephesians 4 urges believers to speak truth and be angry, even as it exhorts them to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you" [NASB].

Heaven does not forbid that one feels pain. The Bible abounds with angst-ridden conflict: Jacob and Esau, David and Saul, Sarah and Hagar, Jesus and Pharisees, God and humanity. All ultimately lead to God's purpose and to transformation of man.

Discovering our own way is not the right or the only way threatens our everyday living, drawing us near to hear God's truth. His truth is enough to overcome, enough to reconcile.

As we paddle along in the storm-tossed dinghy, we can dare to shift forward, to break silence and converse. In so doing, we may find a common stroke that pulls further forward, landing us closer to shore.

By Halley, The Sky Above Us




She didn't have much.

Actually, compared to what we have, she had nothing.

But her little was enough.

Imagine the bleak scene: a starving widow in a desperate famine, preparing her last meal-a tiny bit of flour and oil- so she could feed her child and die.

[I've seen pictures of the famine going on in the Horn of Africa today. It's not hard to recreate the horror of the situation.]

A stranger, a man of God, showed up and asked her for bread. She told him her situation. I can almost see the defeat and sorrow etched into the deep lines of worry on her face. Elijah tells her to step out in faith.

She did as he asked. She prepared the bread and gave it to the stranger.

She gave all she had, even though it wasn't much to look at. The flour and oil never ran out. He turned her little into a lot.

Her inadequate offering became adequate.

I look at my container of flour and oil. There's not much in there, y'all.

What I have to offer won't fill both hands. I don't have loads of money or talent. I'm not a very good friend and I let being an introvert determine my day. I yell at my kids and nag my husband. I'm never caught up on laundry and I'm usually overwhelmed. Some days are lonely and I doubt my determination to live counter-cultural and often listen to the voice that whispers, "you are not good enough to do this." There are nights I lay awake riddled with mom guilt and regret.

I am inadequate. I am not capable of the God-size dream He's called me to.

But He is adequate in me.



And that's more than enough.

Think of the unknown people of the Bible. They are mentioned because their minuscule existence changed the very course of history.

God uses all kinds of people and He specializes in the ordinary.

God's view of you is far beyond anything you could imagine.  As you walk in your God given identity, you are transforming the world around you.  You are bringing the authority of heaven to earth. -Jane Hoyt

You were created for a purpose. It may seem small, but it matters.

He created you exactly like you are. He has ordained a specific purpose for you.

And you possess the potential and creativity to do something amazing for Him. Even if it seems small and insignificant.

It's not. Your small contribution might be the catalyst to change the world.

Don't look at your "I cant's and I'm nots". He created you and within you lies the possibility to fulfill what He calls you too.

There is a great need in our world. At your doorstep. He's not looking for a great world leader or a wise person with their act together.

He's looking for someone inadequate to fill it.

—————————-

Do you ever feel small and unnoticed in this great big world? Are you searching for your purpose? Do you doubt He can use your small offering in a big way? Let me pray with you.

Bible reference: I Kings 17:8-16

by We are THAT family

[Judy Harder]

Do you ever compare yourself to others and feel like you don't quite measure up? Maybe you think you're not as smart, capable, personable, or as godly as they are?

It is so easy to think that if we had more or knew more, we'd be secure. The truth is, even people who "have it all" still struggle with feelings of insecurity. The Bible opens with the story of a woman who had everything, but it wasn't enough (Genesis 2).

God had established Eve's worth as His child and the crown of His creation. God had given Eve every woman's desire: intimacy, beauty, security, significance, and purpose. Yet, Satan conjured up feelings of insecurity by getting Eve to take her eyes off what she had and focus on what she didn't have.

Boy, can I relate. Like Eve, I've heard Satan's whispers telling me I'm not all I could be—or should be. One day I was reading her story in Genesis 2 and noticed that the enemy's questions and suggestions were intended to plant seeds of doubt in Eve's heart. He wanted her to doubt God and herself.

The enemy's whispers tempted Eve to try to "be" more and "have" more by seeking significance apart from God's provision. He convinced her that something was missing in her life and that the forbidden fruit would make her "like God."

It was a foolish comparison, but all comparisons are. Yet, don't we do it all the time:

If only I was like her...if only I had a house like her, a husband like hes, a job like her...; if only my children behaved like her's....; If only ________, then I'd feel significant...satisfied...secure.

Paul warns us that those who "measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, are not wise." (2 Corinthians 10:12, NIV)  Comparison will always leave us feeling like we don't measure up. We can try to do more and be more, yet it's never enough.

If only Eve had focused on who she was and what she had as a child of God. If only we could, too.

Yet, Satan wants us to focus on our flaws and feelings of inadequacy, then exhaust our energy figuring out how to hide them. But we don't have to go along with his schemes. Instead we can recognize his lies, refute his temptations with truth, and focus our heart and our thoughts on God's acceptance, security and significance. Then we can thank God for His provision and His promises that remind us of who we are in Him:

I am accepted...
Ephesians 1:3-8              I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

Colossians 1:13-14         I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

Colossians 2:9-10           I am complete in Christ.

I am secure...
Romans 8:28                    I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

Romans 8:31-39             I am free from condemnation. I cannot be separated from God's love.

Philippians 1:6                I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me.


I am significant...
Ephesians 2:10                I am God's workmanship.

Ephesians 3:12                I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13              I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Author and psychologist, Dr. Neil T. Anderson says, "The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior (and beliefs) will begin to reflect your true identity!"

So, the next time we're tempted to use the measuring stick of comparison – let's be commit to measure UP by focusing upward on Christ and who we are in HIM!

Lord, thank You that I'm chosen, holy, and dearly loved. When I'm tempted to find my significance and security apart from Your provision and promises, help me recognize Satan's lies, refuse his temptations and stand firm in my faith. Remind me that such confidence as this is mine through Christ—not that I am competent in myself to claim anything for myself, but competence comes from Him. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. (Colossians 3:12; 1 Peter 5:9; 2 Corinthians 3:4–5)

By Renee Swope, author of A Confident Heart



In all the years of working with people I've learned this, people matter. People matter to God. People have value, purpose and worth.

And one thing I have learned is that many don't even know it. It's what makes the job of those of us that do know, so important. To do this though requires a lot of risk. A risk of heart, mind and emotion. It requires an understanding of Love.

I am continually learning what Love really is. I know that as a woman, I offer a lot just by being a woman. Women are menders of relationships in the world. The caretakers of relationships with another, while God is the caretaker of the heart that loves. That's why the word beautiful is used to describe women.

Its beauty that is unveiled in their lives that restores and refreshes in a world that without God finds very little beauty. It's rough and unlovely. The world can be harsh and cold without warmth and forgiveness. That is what makes the expression of Love so divine. How we Love is a true reflection of Who or what we allow to Love us.

A woman who is loved and knows she is loved is glowing. She beams because her heart's questions have been answered. "You are enough. You are worth fighting for. You are lovely."

So when people ask me, "Sarah, how is it you are so cheerful all the time?" It's because I know I'm Loved. I know I'm not only Loved but Cherished. God's Love is like a seal on my heart. I need not look for it elsewhere. Not in broken relationships, not in food, not in a job, not in my gifts. Simply in the fact, that God loves me for me. This changes everything! It means because I know I'm Loved, I can now offer Love to another!

And because that Love comes from the Lord, it doesn't demand a specific response from that person. God is enough! He is my portion. He is my Redeemer. He is the One who completes me!

And so I have that Love now to express and offer. Out of a heart filled with Jesus, comes an overflow of amazing Love and Grace. Grace that is someone doing for you what you cannot do for yourself. Extending kindness when undeserved. Time, when time is short. Encouragement though frustrations arise. Faith when you find yourself at the edge of Jordan's waters. Hope, when God dries up the Jordan and sees you safely across.

All that to say, we are merely vessels. But we are vessels who hold a priceless treasure when we know and experience the Love of God. Love that goes beyond our own selves. Love that reaches and covers our brokenness as far as the East is to the West. It is a Love that changes us and allows us to be difference makers in a world that needs to be shown a difference.

I am nothing but a pot that has a great bunch of cracks in it. But I see my pot like a geranium pot you might find outside an Italian villa. It's cracked all over and has moss growing on the outside, but out of every crack there is life growing out of it. There is a plant producing beauty and constantly goes through the process of dying to itself to make way for new blooms to grow.

Love allows broken pots to be a vessel for new Life. And it's through that Life and that Love that hearts are changed and Lives are made new and Love is truly known.

By:  Sarah Cooper



I sat on the couch with sweet, rare friends, and one prayed words that I couldn't understand. They were meant to bless me, and I cried in unbelief. I am none of those things she called me, struggling in the tension of the already but not yet. I believed her, Holley, in theory, but I've only just begun to read and embrace anything that remotely refers to my being "[...] Already Amazing."

The next day I yelled horribly at my children, and then the day after that I watched my son exhibit such control-freak behavior that it nearly paralyzed me and him both. Often if he messes up, he can't seem to get over it. He cries and begs forgiveness over and over again and then falls apart in utter disappointment when he doesn't come through with his imagined "right way" to be. I know he learned this from me, this lack of understanding about grace.

So I wake after such a string of failure that I call a sitter and drive to my favorite coffee shop. I've planned to mope about how I'm going to completely ruin my children. As I arrive, I have the beautiful idea to take breakfast to a favorite friend, who's very recently adopted. I reach for my wallet, realize I've forgotten it at home, and just as I'm backing out of the parking lot, my friend Heather walks out with a paper bag.

She stops me and says she's actually on her way to take breakfast to our friend's house, the same friend I want to go see. After inviting me to come along, she buys my coffee, and it doesn't feel like a coincidence at all.

Our girlfriend's home is the loud of joy and the ache of growth, the heightened sense of brand new and unknowing and beautiful. Her newest daughter is receiving therapy in the bedroom, and I swell with emotion while looking at the fanciest little kid wheelchair, how dumbfounded I find myself at my friends' contagious love for children with special needs or not. I want it, and actually, it's already working in me, how wonderful her daughter is, like all God's children.

God has poured grace in that home, and I hear her raised voice in the other room. I fumble things and watch two girlfriends in the thick back-and-forth of ones who have loved each other into the deepest darkest waters. After a while, things settle. The coffee is half-full.

They ask me how things are, and I cry and say I'm not good enough, that I don't know how to parent with grace, don't know what it means. I need someone to tell me what to do.

And there is no good answer. Every time I try to scrounge for one, my girlfriend looks at me pointedly and says, "No! You're missing it! There's nothing you can DO."

Oh and all my outlines on works-based righteousness come flooding back, how it is all and only Jesus.

Then she tells me a secret story of how deeply she loves her daughter, regardless of anything she does or doesn't do. Will she walk? Let me tell you for certain – her Mama wouldn't and couldn't love her an ounce more if she did. I understand it only shallowly as I might understand faith and hope in the abstract. We can skim the surface or go in to find the depths of those bottomless wells. Words hardly fit such a love.

I imagine if I were like the Apostle Paul or that godly woman who wrote the holy book of gratitude. I imagine if somehow I could be that good, even then I wouldn't be righteous–the secret that both these envied saints know well. I imagined that I never get better, never stop struggling with anger or depression or or or. Even then, I am the same.

I am the righteousness of God in Christ. That work is done. Holley says I'm already amazing. So I sit with it, the grace and the love. I am the daughter, and there's nothing I can do, and I am free. That right there is the good news.

[Judy Harder]

When I was in college, I confessed to my roommates a trick I had for staying motivated while working out. I sang the theme song from Rocky in my head.

I'm not talking about Eye of the Tiger, either. I'm talking about Gonna Fly Now, a mostly instrumental anthem that actually only has three words (Gonna. Fly. Now.). This cheesy tune from the 80s was my high school's fight song, and after growing up hearing it played by the band every Friday night of the fall, it got me all fired up.

Or at least pushed me hard enough to finish a 10-minute session on the rowing machine.

Don't feel bad if you're laughing at me right now. My roommates laughed at me then – and still think it's funny to tease me about it ten many years later.

The mocking doesn't really bother me because I know that my ability to coach myself through difficult times (yes, I'm including exercise in that category) is a good thing. I've worked hard to maintain healthy self talk, and encouraging myself is sometimes just as important as encouraging others.

Over the years I've gotten pretty good at thinking and saying, "You can do this. It's going to happen this time. This is your semester/project/job/year."

And when I say those things, I believe them. I do. Mostly.

————————————–

A few weeks ago I sat in my first Weight Watchers meeting of the year. The topic of the day's discussion was "believe." Our leader asked what we believe about weight loss and the program.

As I sat there I nodded and even offered a couple comments to the conversation. Of course I believe this program works. And I know that if I follow the program, I'll lose weight. But later that day, as those words rattled around my brain, I started wondering. Do I really believe that I can do this?

My question wasn't about the program; it was about me. I realized that for all my positive talk, I didn't really believe that I could lose weight. Before I knew it, my thoughts changed, pummeling me with doubt and disbelief:

It's not like this was my first attempt. Do I really think it's going to work this time? I've been trying to do this my entire life. And while it worked once or twice, it never lasted. What's so different this year? I'm not good at this. It is my biggest struggle. It's Just. So. Hard.

————————————–

Before I go too far down that rabbit hole, I remember. I remember what Jesus told his disciples: "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

Just a mustard seed – that's all it takes. When I was growing up, my mom had a jar of those little yellow beads sitting on our windowsill. They really are very small! Surely I could find that much faith.

Then I spotted it: a tiny, foggy ray of hope. I grabbed onto that hope, and I held on with all I have. Maybe . . . just maybe . . . I can do this.

Yes, I do believe. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I just barely believe. But sometimes, "just barely" is enough. It's enough for me to answer, with confidence this time, "Yes, I believe."

What do you need or want to believe today? Can you find just a mustard seed of faith?

This post wasn't sponsored by Weight Watchers It's just a small example of big places in our lives where we need to get better at believing change can happen.