(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year

Jul 02, 2012 01:25 am | Megan Tietz

From fifth-grade forward, Megan Tietz has been scribbling words onto any surface that would stand still. The birth of her oldest daughter seven years ago opened a fresh vein of words, and she found blogging to be a profoundly rewarding medium for sharing them. In 2006, she launched SortaCrunchy to share about her adventures in cloth diapering, babywearing, and all things natural parenting. She has been surprised, overwhelmed, comforted, and inspired by the community of friends and readers at SortaCrunchy.

Megan is the parenting and kids columnist at Simple Mom, and she often surprises even herself with the stories she tells at A Deeper Story. In April of this year, she released Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year with her friend and co-author, Laura Oyer. She and her husband and two daughters happily make their home in the heart of Oklahoma City.
***
Through the years, I've given away and narrowed down and passed along most of our baby stuff with the idea being that I would keep only what is the most precious, the most meaningful to me from the baby season of life. Tucked away in a plastic bin, there are cards in pink envelopes from baby showers and calendars carefully noting new milestones and tiny baby shoes and, of course, the sleep journals.

Actually, sleep journal is probably far too formal of description for what you would find in that storage bin. They are actually sheets of paper with primitive grids marked out and filled in with ballpoint pen. "Went down to nap at 9:37. Slept 42 minutes. Awake 7 minutes. Had to rock back to sleep. Slept 40 more minutes." In remarkable detail, I read in my own handwriting the obsessive notes from day after day of trying to solve my oldest daughter's sleep "problems."

A long-time sufferer of the exhausting pursuit of the perfect, I was determined that I would handle parenting The Right Way.

It seemed to me that the best way to learn how to do things The Right Way was to read some books. And so read I did. Lots of books. And I asked around for suggestions, and one book in particular came recommended to me highly by friends and family who had found great success in following its advice.

Before our first baby was born, I found comfort in the pages of this book. It carefully explained its common sense approach to answering the questions of caring for a baby, and I determined that The Right Way meant adhering to the book's advice from Day One.

In the days and weeks after Dacey was born, however, the calm, warm comfort I had found in the book's pages turned to icy fear and doubt. I seemed to be failing the program in almost every way, particularly in the realm of sleep. This is when I painstakingly created the sleep journals. This is when I spent hours googling phrases like "baby nap too short" and "four month old won't sleep night" and "baby won't sleep damage brain." I was wracked with worry over the fact that my baby wouldn't sleep the way the book said she should, and I was desperate to fix our problems.

Because at the root of my worry was a growing sense of fear. It wasn't just about her too-short naps or not sleeping through the night by twelve weeks. It was bigger than sleep. It was a fear that if we couldn't follow the instructions for a healthy, well-adjusted baby, it meant we would be facing nothing but stress and heartache for the rest of our parenting days. The books made it clear that if parents didn't direct every moment of baby's day, the end result would be an insecure, demanding child, a troubled home life, and a strained marriage.

Thanks be to God, He rescued me with His Truth. And in the way it always does, His Truth set me free. Come back tomorrow when my co-author Laura will share the antidote to the fear that threatened to choke the joy out of parenting our new babies in that first year of life.

By: Megan, SortaCrunchy



#SheReadsTruth — A God-Sized Adventure
Jul 02, 2012 01:20 am | Stephanie Bryant


I stumbled upon the conversation one afternoon on Twitter. I admit I was eavesdropping on Gussy and became curious by the hashtag #SheReadsTruth in her 140 characters.

I clicked thru to find a beautiful collage of instagram photos from other women that were reading truth. I joined.

I read those red letter words every morning on my leopard chaise lounge in the corner of my bedroom and journaled for the first time in my 33 years.

I have loved every moment and been transformed like so many other of His daughters.

One of the secrets? This time we're doing it together. {Isn't that true? That it's easier when we have each other to hold us up, to listen, to cheer. God's girls in action, loving Him and each other.}



What started as a conversation between @CoconutRobot and @GussySews has become a community of women reading God's Word and lives being changed by them. These creative women recently launched a new site to better serve this organic community that is rapidly growing, based solely on reading the Bible daily.

{I know many of you probably already know about #SheReadsTruth, but I've gotta share a good thing when I come across it.}

The story behind #SheReadsTruth? Gussy tells it so well.

"I had been told for months prior to leaving the country that traveling to Tanzania with Compassion would change our lives forever, that Zack + I would come back new people, that God was going to show us miraculous things. Of course I nodded my head and closed my eyes and said "yes" to them, but really — I wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about. 

Our week in Tanzania WAS life-changing. I did come back a new person, God DID show us miraculous things.

But on that first day back I didn't know how to translate any of these feelings.

The next week, however, I could feel myself beginning to decode things a little more easily.

Then one afternoon I was on the phone with Kacia. She wanted to hear allllll the details from our trip, details I hadn't shared on my blog. I remember telling Kacia I felt a strong prompting to start reading the Bible daily. I can't tell you how many times I had said that before — probably over a dozen, to be real with you — but never had I felt like THIS WAS IT, I was finally going to conquer this fault of mine.

Then I told Kacia, If I don't start reading the Bible every day I'm going to become homeless. I wanted some accountability with how serious I wanted to get with this new lifestyle."


#SheReadsTruth was born.



It's so simple and powerful because of the One who called Kacia and Gussy to this recent journey. {It secretly reminds me of how God planted the seeds of (in)courage in mine and Holley's heart a few years ago. I love to watch how He sows and sometimes reaps so quickly. How He plants the God-sized dreams in a willing heart.}

I adore them for their obedience to plant a small seed, take a risk, be obedient to His leading. . . and how their small step has impacted so many already. Thousands of women are reading their Bible every day. The Word is being planted and memorized and already reaping love in our homes and neighborhoods.

Kacia describes perfectly what's happened over the last 30+ days with #SheReadsTruth.

I hope that you can read my smile in these words.  Not just a smile confined to my mouth and lips, but one that exudes from my entire being and causes my eyes to squint.  Joy might describe it better.

God is moving.  Lives are being changed.  And it is all about Him.



Another deep breath.

We're doing this together.  Are you are feeling discouraged?  Send out an SOS.  In need of prayer?  Let us know.  We are a community.  We are His children.  Let's love each other hard.  Let's spur one another on towards Him.

YEOW!  Let's start this new plan together strong.  Because in Him, we are strong.



Join Kacia and Gussy {and me!} along with thousands others as we complete Soul Detox and begin Living the Surrendered Life. To find out more about the #SheReadsTruth community and join this exciting God-sized adventure, visit their site.

Have you ever had a prompting from the Lord that was clear like this? Did you listen? What was the result? — from Lost but Found, Angie Smith

[Judy Harder]

Spirit-Led Parenting: Finding Freedom From Fear
Jul 03, 2012 01:25 am | Laura Oyer


In yesterday's post, Megan shared the struggle through heartache and confusion that began the journey toward Spirit-Led Parenting.  Today, her co-author, Laura Oyer, shares the second part of the message – the one God used to bring redemption to their mothering journeys.

Laura and her high school sweetheart-turned-husband, Mark, have two children – Maya, a sensitive, wise almost-second-grader, and Noah, a four-year-old version of Buddy the Elf.

Laura blogs about the real and ridiculous things of life at In the Backyard, and is a contributor at Grace for Moms.

***********



As Megan shared yesterday, her first weeks and months of parenting were a time filled with fear, namely the fear that she was failing.

Her story echoes mine.  We each found ourselves overwhelmed by the weight of failed expectations, intense confusion, and total lack of direction.  We've told you how parenting manuals caused so much distress for us when we were new mothers.  So why on earth would we write a book on parenting?

Because somewhere along the way, we discovered a beautiful truth: there is another way.

"There is an approach to parenting that looks fear in the face and boldly speaks an answer:  Freedom.  Freedom from required formulas, unrealistic expectations of our children and ourselves, and the belief that we must force our babies to fit into a mold that may not have been designed for them."

In the lowest, most darkest moments of weathering the shock of parenting babies who in no way acted the way the books said they should, God spoke into our lives a radical idea, that He had a unique path for each family – one that honors the beautifully-created individuality of both parents and children – and that we could embrace the freedom to follow His lead.

"This idea of beginning without a clear plan can be unnerving. We want consistent guidelines and cold hard facts.  We want outlines and directions that are easy to read and follow.  But Spirit-led parenting doesn't work like that.  And the reason for this is yet another radical idea: the first year should be less about training our babies and more about God developing us as parents and human beings.  If we let Him, God can use that first intense year of baby's life to train us how to live a life that is fully surrendered to Him.  To cultivate in us a trust that follows His lead, seeks Him first, and understands His grace."

Eventually, we had the courage to tell others about this revelation. We shared our stories, and were surprised and overwhelmed by the response. Other parents shared their own journeys, how they had been burned by trying so hard to follow one parenting methodology or another, how the quiet promptings of the Spirit were drowned in the clamor and noise of the Mommy Wars.

And that is how God first stirred our hearts to write this book.  We are passionate about sharing the stories of our own lives and those of others to illustrate how the first year of parenting doesn't have to be marked with insecurity, shame, and worry.  Instead, it can be a year of life-changing growth and transformation.

"He gently leads those that have young." (Isaiah 40:11)

Our invitation is for you to join us in discovering the freedom that God offers to families everywhere:

Freedom to lean wholly on the wisdom of God in the trenches of parenting ... because He is faithful.

Freedom to embrace the beautiful uniqueness of your child ... because they were fearfully and wonderfully made by the work of His hands.

Freedom – yes – even to fail ... because He loves and redeems and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

We would love to share our stories with you.  Because we know now and declare for the rest of our days that He has truly set us free. 

By: Laura Oyer, In the Backyard
Baby toes photo by: sabianmaggy on flickr

*************

Megan and I are offering five copies of Spirit-Led Parenting to (in)courage readers. To enter to win, leave a comment on yesterday's post finishing this sentence: My biggest fear about having a new baby was/is _______________. Your answer can be silly or serious. We'll choose five commenters to win a copy of the book on Friday!



Friends For Life (What I Learned About Friendship From A Bunch Of Guys)
Jul 03, 2012 01:20 am | Deidra




My husband has friends he's known since preschool. Real friends. A couple of them are friends on Facebook, too. But most of them say things like, "I don't have time for Facebook." They don't really care about Twitter or Instagram, and don't even mention Pinterest to them.

They stare blankly and listen politely when it comes to social media, because they prefer a phone call to a status update any day.

Last weekend, my husband and I drove 800 miles each way to spend the weekend with the crew. That's what these guys do. Whenever one of them has a life event, the rest of them move mountains to be right by their side. This time around, one of the guys was celebrating the graduation of his youngest child from high school. Not everyone makes it every time. But if one of the guys can't be there in person, he makes a phone call to let his presence be known. (Maybe someone should tell these guys about Skype.)

At the party, I hung out with the wives and girlfriends of these men who've known each other so long. We took pictures of the guys and we listened (again) as they exchanged their most-loved and best-told stories from days spent together as kids, and then adolescents, and then teens, and adults. No matter how many times we get together, the stories never grow old. We laugh until our cheeks hurt and I have to walk away to catch my breath.

"They've really got something special." I heard it a lot that evening. Complete strangers watched this group of men, now pushing (or clinging tightly to) fifty, and we all knew their friendships were for real and for life.

I leaned my elbows on the table top and took a minute to really see them. I wanted to figure out their secret, because friendship like theirs is more than sharing a common history. It's more than driving 800 miles for milestones like weddings and babies and graduations.

You probably already know their secret. It's simple, really. "I love you." That's it. I listened to these men say it over and over again. Unashamed. Heartfelt. Sincere. True.

It's the reason they treasure their common history. It's the reason they drive for miles, or catch the 6 AM flight from the east coast, or tell the same stories and laugh until their sides ache. This is the secret to friendships that last a lifetime: loving someone – really loving them – and not being afraid to let them know.

By: Deidra, Jumping Tandem

It Won't Be Like This For Long
Jul 03, 2012 01:10 am | Mary Beth




Spring Break. Sophomore year of college. Two friends and I got wild and crazy. We drove to Chicago for a Beth Moore College Women's Conference. With my mother. I know. How wild and rebellious we were. Still, we planned this trip for months, and all of us were beyond excited. We were going to hear Beth Moore in a small setting. We had tickets to see Wicked! Everything shaped up for this to be a once in a lifetime trip.

Then we hit downtown Chicago during rush hour. I was driving. Susie, the Garmin, spouted off directions in her monotonous drone. All went well until she told me to turn down Wacker Drive.

If you have been to Chicago, you probably know what I am about to say.

Y'all, Wacker Drive goes underground. Underground in downtown Chicago. I am from small town Mississippi. We do not even have an interstate in my town. We have red lights, but no major roadways. Definitely nothing underground.

I'm telling you it was impossible to get out of this underground maze. Susie was so baffled, she did not know what to tell us. "Recalculating," in the most irritated tone ever, became her mantra. We were stuck down there for what felt like forever. I was terrified, embarrassed, and just wanted to go home.

After minutes that seems like days, we finally escaped and made it to the hotel. But the damage was done. I let that negative experience steal my joy and anticipation of the weekend. I was anxious and nervous for the rest of the trip. My mind was consumed with how are we going to get home without going down that dreaded Wacker Drive again. I could not rest until I was safely back at home. In the midst of my worry and concern, I am sure I missed out on much of the fun in that trip.

Sadly, this is not an isolated experience for me. I often find myself so anxious for the next thing that I miss the right now.

Sometimes I miss the bigger moments of life.

While serving in Thailand as a summer missionary, I marked the days off looking anxiously towards the weekends when we got to go back to the missionary compound instead of really investing in the children around me.

Pushing through to graduation, I forgot to just stop and enjoy being a student and the unique time in life college presents.

Sometimes it's the small things that pass me by.

Worried about getting stuck in traffic on the way home and getting in bed late, I miss the fun of the Rangers winning a baseball game and my husband's excitement in being there.

In such a hurry to get blogs written and dinner cooked, I forget to enjoy playing with my son.

Some days, I breathe in God's grace and enjoy my place in life. But other times I am too consumed with self and anxious to move on that I miss the beauty of the moment. But each day is a gift to be rejoiced in.

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 127:1.

Are you anxious to be married? Need to get supper on the table? Anxiously waiting to become a parent? Do you have 10 things still on your to do list? Are you worried about finances or your job? Wondering when the diapers and laundry will every end?

You're not alone, but God did not create us to live captive to our anxieties and worries. Christ came to give us freedom (Galatians 5:1) and life more abundantly (John 10:10).

Stop and breathe in the wonder of that Truth. Breathe it in and let it fill you up.

Now look around and see what you were missing. As the country song says, it won't be like this for long.

By: Mary Beth, New Life Steward

[Judy Harder]

Freedom in Motherhood, Freedom in Mindset
Jul 04, 2012 01:25 am | Jamie Martin


Jamie joined the blogosphere kicking and screaming. It took a visionary husband with a gentle nudge and neon signs from One above to convince her to add her voice to the multitude. Incredibly God showed up and blessed her efforts.

Jamie writes at Steady Mom about intentional, professional motherhood and at Simple Homeschool about a living education at home. She is a mama to three cute children born on three separate continents.


Jamie is the author of two books: Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood and Mindset for Moms: From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 Days. She likes writing about herself in the third person because she can make herself sound cooler than she really is.

***



I took large, quick steps, pushing a double stroller around my neighborhood's block of rural homes. The hot Texan sun blared down, but I hardly noticed. I was too absorbed in my own thoughts–and they weren't happy ones.

"I can't do this, God!" rattled my inner voice. My biological son Jonathan, 15-months-old at the time, had recently taken his first steps. Our eight-month-old, Elijah, had joined our family from Liberia, West Africa just two months before.

These babies adored me and wanted Mama at all times. That was the problem–there were two of them, one of me. The lies in my head taunted that I was far from equal to the task ahead.

When I arrived home I emailed a friend. "The boys think I'm the most amazing person in the world now, but one day they'll find out I'm a big fraud."

She wrote back, assuring me that motherhood did not require perfection as a prerequisite. That grace, love, and dependence on One far more capable was all that I needed.

She believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. And by speaking truth, my friend helped dispel the lies that had taken root in my thoughts.

At the time I didn't recognize them as lies–isn't it incredible how real those voices can seem? But in all honesty it was only my imagination that made me miserable that day. I chose to nurture worry instead of truth.

the moment our boys met each other for the first time

Back then I didn't realize I had any control over my thoughts. I thank God for motherhood because it made me reach the end of myself.

God used my vulnerability to bring me to new levels of joy.

The discovery I began on that day seven years ago inspired me to write my latest e-book, Mindset for Moms: From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 Days. It represents a journey that has led me, not to perfection, but to greater freedom. The freedom that God wants to offer us as we follow Him.

What if we discovered that those programs on repeat play in our minds are not the real us after all, and that we can upload and run new life-changing programs in their place?

A Special Offer for (in)courage readers:

Any (in)courage reader who buys Mindset for Moms in any format (PDF, Kindle, Nook, or iTunes) can receive a FREE PDF version of my first book, Steady Days (a $9 value).

To take advantage of this offer, simply send me an email after your purchase with the subject line "I bought Mindset for Moms" and I'll respond within a few days. Offer valid through July 31, 2012.

For today, let's start by getting honest and completing this sentence:

"I tend to worry about ______, but what God wants me to do instead is ______."

GIVEAWAY: Leave a comment with your response below to be entered to win a copy of Mindset for Moms. (Two winners today; two winners tomorrow.)


My answer? I tend to worry about how my imperfections will affect my kids, but what God wants me to do instead is to trust. believe. and enjoy!

********

Subscribe to Jamie's blog and follow her on Twitter or Facebook.



Where the Brave Find a Home
Jul 04, 2012 01:20 am | Emily Freeman




The families come in packs of seven, twelve, twenty-two. The mothers hold their pig-tailed babies and the babies hold the tiny flags, waving country pride and gripping a symbol they know nothing about. Maybe I know nothing of it, either.



We gather on the 18th hole of the famous golf course, a line of condos behind us, the harbor before us. We set our chairs up to face the water, spread out our blankets and wait while the sun sinks down slow in front of us.



The couple to our right sits close, whispers long. She holds a sparkler. He holds a beer.

The family behind us throws a football and apologizes every time the youngest wanders over to our blanket. A group of six have their bikes parked to our left. They sit in a circle and laugh about things I can't hear, things they all have in common, things they all understand.

They all belong, or so it seems.

In the midst of a community gathering like this, it's easy to see the beloved-ness of others.

It's easy to watch them with their hot dogs and their jokes and their frisbees from far off and believe they have it easy. The stories of strangers are so convenient, so untainted by the pain of divorce, the threat of cancer, the rejection of friends.

We can't see the fight they had in the car on the way here.

We don't hear the voice of the lover who found someone else to love.

We won't ever know she lost the baby, he lost the job, they lost their mother.

All we see is a group of smiling, hamburger-eating, lemonade-drinking, firework-waiting families on a day in early July.



I am guilty of slapping them all with greener grass, of looking toward the warm yellow glowing windows of their condos, of wondering what it would be like to walk in their easy shoes.

I generally see the world as a half-full glass. But even in the half-full, there is emptiness on top and sometimes that emptiness shows up even as I will it not to.

Brave is a valiant word, but sometimes brave doesn't look extraordinary. Sometimes, for me, it means digging in my heels right where I am and finding home even though it isn't what I wished it was, even in the midst of the emptiness, the longing, the soon-but-not-yet.

It is a gift to learn what it means to be with what is, to find contentment in the right-now, to believe God is still good. Being with what is takes courage. Resisting the pull to compare takes belief.

How do you resist this pull in your own life?



All Beautiful
Jul 03, 2012 12:12 pm | Jennifer


I am a beauty seeker. Seeking makes it possible to be a beauty finder. Seek and you will find.

(A flower yet to open.)



I like to wander and admire. It's impossible not to admire. My dad's farm, my mom's garden, my grandma's flowers, our own yard. Being in the midst of the beauty, face to face with it, is comfortable.  It makes me happy. I feel close to Him, surrounded by His work. I am amazed.

(A caterpillar into a butterfly.)



When you are open and looking and searching, you realize things don't have to be perfect to be beautiful. You start to see the beauty in the imperfect. You start to find beauty in the messy. You are gifted a change in your perspective. Because God is good. Because He does not make mistakes. Because He makes it ALL beautiful.

(Blooms turned to seed.)



Everything beautiful begins with God. Ecclesiastes 3:11

(The beginning of a new day.)



It doesn't take long, just take a moment to look around. I am sure you already see something. Something beautiful made by Him. I challenge you today, this week, this month, to be a beauty seeker. Look around and take notice of all the beautiful things that began with Him. Create a post, use words or images, and link up to share with us your beauty finds. This is a fun way for the entire (in)courage community to share together, not just those doing a review post this month.


(A family.)



This Beauty Seeker link-up will be open all month. Take time to seek. Let your heart be open to see. Come back and share at any time. Some of you are hosting a review this month and have story posts, that link-up will be live on July 10th.

(Engaged. Beginning of life together.)



The new Redeemed Outdoor line by DaySpring, encourages us to remember He has made everything beautiful. Beautiful begins with God. It is a wonderful collection to add something special to your outdoor decor.



Everything beautiful begins with God.

Everything.



Join the Beauty Seeker link-up, open all month. This is not the review story post link-up.

[Judy Harder]

Is Your Mindset About God Flawed?
Jul 05, 2012 01:25 am | Jamie Martin


I'm sharing about my e-book, Mindset for Moms, this week–if you missed it, head here to read yesterday's post.


***



I spun around on the tree swing, full of praise. One hand holding the rope, one hand lifted in awe, a grin on my face.

Amazed by God's goodness.

I had dared to dream of a new house for my family. A place where we could love, learn, and fulfill His calling. But my dream was too good, too specific, too unlikely. So I let it go, trusted, remained content.

He had turned around and given the dream, in all its fulfillment, right back.

But why was I surprised? Isn't goodness and mercy part of the territory when it comes to His character?

Christians tend to have a flawed mindset about God. We seem to believe that if we surrender and say yes, that He can't wait to do the most awful things to us–to make our lives miserable in the name of character development.

How could we dare to think this about our loving Father? Is this how we feel toward our own children? Hardly. I am a wildly imperfect mother, yet I always search for ways to bless my little ones.

In the timeless classic A Christian's Secret to a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith tackles this skewed viewpoint of God:

"He is our Father, and He loves us, and He knows just what is best, and therefore, of course, His will is the very most blessed thing that can come to us. I do not understand how it is that Satan has succeeded in blinding the eyes of the Church to this fact.

But it really would seem as if God's own children were more afraid of His will than of anything else in life; His lovely, lovable will, which only means loving-kindnesses and tender mercies, and blessings unspeakable to their souls."



My family and I have made life choices that many would consider crazy and uncertain. Here are a few:

adopted a sick infant who nearly died, my son Elijah from Liberia
adopted an older child with special needs, my daughter Trishna from India
became missionaries and lived fully off of the financial support we raised
moved cross-country to work against one of the darkest issues of our time, child sex trafficking and exploitation
I write this list not out of pride about our decisions, quite the opposite. We wanted to do these things, and it is easy to do what we want to do!

That's the thing about God–when we offer our dreams to Him, He makes us want to do His will. This enables us to move forward in joy and confidence, even when we face life's inevitable challenges.

When we change our mindset about God, we can dream again. And we need not fear giving those dreams to Him, for we'll find His dreams for our lives even better than those we could ever have imagined for ourselves.

"You parents–if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7 : 9-11



A Special Offer for (in)courage readers:

Any (in)courage reader who buys Mindset for Moms in any format (PDF, Kindle, Nook, or iTunes) can receive a FREE PDF version of my first book, Steady Days (a $9 value).

To take advantage of this offer, simply send me an email after your purchase with the subject line "I bought Mindset for Moms" and I'll respond within a few days. Offer valid through July 31, 2012.

GIVEAWAY: Leave a comment with your response to this statement to be entered to win a copy of Mindset for Moms. (Two winners today.)


"If I wasn't afraid, I would ask God for _______________."

My answer? "If I wasn't afraid, I would ask God for a new opportunity."

********

Subscribe to Jamie's blog and follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

Purchase your copy of Mindset for Moms



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On creativity and the beautiful redemption of fear
Jul 05, 2012 01:20 am | Robin Dance


"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

These days I'm living outside my comfort zone.

A new country, a new culture and a place where I can't speak the language, and without the blessed invention of GPS, I'd be perpetually lost.  Even with it, sometimes I still get lost!

I started out as a scaredy cat on wobbley legs, but I'm learning some things about fear–

It is Deceiver, seeking to confuse or defeat me.
It is Compass, reminding me of my own limitations while pointing to the strength and sufficiency of God.
(From Fraidy Cat.)

God knew our inclination toward fear of life's uncertainties and unknowns, and by his providential grace, he provided remedy through his word.

Fear reveals my frailty and need for God.
Fear exposes void that begs filling with peace, love, courage, wisdom, joy.
Fear recognizes my insufficiency and God's strength.
Fear is a driving force straight to the throne of God.  Isn't that a beautiful redemption?!


Have you ever avoided trying something new because you were scared that you'd fail or look silly or you were worried about what others might think?
I know I have.  Fear isn't anchored only to life-impacting decision and circumstance, sometimes it's tied to little things, too.  There are countless things I've wanted to try but didn't pursue because I knew I wouldn't be good at it.

Which is absolutely ridiculous!

Why do we set a standard of perfection when we're just learning how or trying something for the first time?
A group of friends recently invited me to join them for an Art Day.  We gathered up basic supplies–and when I say basic, I mean watercolors and brushes bought at the Dollar Store–and chose a beautiful location for inspiration. I realized quickly I had no natural artistic ability; and although everyone else had painting experience, they were extremely encouraging and generous to me.  Mostly I watched them work, learning through their mechanics and impressed by their skill.



In spite of my pitiful sketches (I didn't make it to watercoloring), something magical happened on the dock that day:  I let go of the fear of being "bad" at it!  Amidst the encouragement of this sweet group of women, and creativity from within begging to get out, I tried...and had a blast!

I didn't allow fear to hold me hostage and keep me from trying.  Instead, my creative void that fear tried to fill with doubt and inadequacy was replaced with joy and accomplishment.

My friend and fellow (in)courage contributor, Dawn Camp, created a lovely print –"Give God your art; for her, it means asking how to use it to better serve Him and bless others (she's a wonderfully talented photographer!).  What I'm realizing more and more is that my desires are what God has already given me, especially when it comes to the creative.

If you're one who identifies with my fraidy-cattedness, how can I pray specifically for you?  What desires has God given you that you've been afraid to pursue because of doubt or feelings of inadequacy?  Can I be your biggest cheerleader?  Summer is the perfect time to exercise your creativity!  Whether by writing or painting or drawing or crafting or WHATEVER, what have you always wanted to try but haven't**? 

GirlieQs, I'm convinced you have what it takes, and you can take confidence in the wisdom of my friend Nester ~ It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.

By Robin Dance, artist not-so extraordinaire.
** yet



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An Uncomfortable Flip
Jul 05, 2012 01:10 am | Carrie Stephens




"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age... and in the age to come, eternal life.

- Mark 10:29-30

My Aunt Mary married a carpenter back in the days of hippies and groovy love.  Long before flipping houses was a reason for a good television show, she and her husband, my Uncle Mike, flipped houses under the California sun.

Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary would buy a house that was run-down, live in it while they made it shiny and new, then sell it.  They lived out of boxes until there were places to put things.  Sawdust settled in corners as walls were torn down and rebuilt.  Mary once joked that her children didn't know what carpet was because they lived on cement while the renovations were being done, then left the day flooring was installed.

Hard work and a nomadic lifestyle were embraced until the house became comfortable, then they would move on.

The longer I live the more I find the seasons of life are like one of Aunt Mary's houses.

At first, the conditions are unfamiliar.  Unsure of where my soul can rest, I keep boxes of emotions and an inventory of experiences while my heart makes space.  I try to figure out what to change in order to make the most of the season.  Some seasons require a level of character I have never been able to muster previously.  Others challenge me to use lessons of the past in new ways.  Always, my circumstances offer the chance to grow more toward Christ.

Every new season brings renovations for my own heart, mind, and soul.   Then, just when my heart is resting in Christ in some new way, God moves me on.

The sad part of this is that I may never be comfortable in life.  I may not get to hunker down and enjoy the blessing of having everything just right.  Really, it's my own fault.   I pledged my devotion to help build God's Kingdom when I became a Christian, and building is messy business.

Each uncomfortable season, though, increases my adoration and awe of God's goodness and power.  When I remember how He flipped my life with His own sacrifice, I know it is worth living uncomfortably and wholly for Him.  How could I choose not to follow Him now, when His love has become my salvation?

Eventually, Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary made enough money to buy two houses.  One was to flip, and one to live in.  The one they live in is on a hill overlooking the California coastline.  It has real flooring, walls that are all where they ought to be, and vast windows so the breathtaking view can be appreciated.

A little renovation and discomfort pays off eventually.  Jesus promised us it would, and His promises are secure.  If I never know complete comfort in this life, I can rest in the knowledge that I have served a good God who rewards those who seek Him.   In my mind I can see heaven.  It is more stunning than a hillside view of the ocean, more pristine than a catalog home created by designers, and full of  love, peace, and joy.

Someday, I will call it my home forever.

By Carrie Stephens

[Judy Harder]

By Their Fruit {Blueberry Basket Project}
Jul 06, 2012 01:20 am | Jennifer




Jesus said you will know a person's nature, their character, by their fruit.

With so much of our lives online, it can be easy to see only the good and to only want to show the good. It makes it hard to know the authentic person. It can also make it hard to be our authentic self. But we are reminded to look at someone's life, at our own life. A person reveals themselves not by what they say, but who they are.

Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. Luke 6:44

HE knows the truth. HE knows the person we are in the public and the person we are in private. HE knows the authentic person behind words and any false images. HE knows what is in our heart.

I love this verse for the great reminder to be aware and examine myself first. To think about the fruit I am bearing. I want to focus on bearing good fruit!

Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Matthew 7:20

So this is a little project that can be that reminder.



Start with a plastic fruit (or in this case tomato) container/basket.



Clean out your container. Make sure it is dry and ready to paint.



I used white paint, but you could use any color. Paint the inside of the bottom and the inside of the lid. Painting the inside gives this a wonderful finished look through the plastic... almost like porcelain or something!



After the first coat you will be thinking that it looks terrible. Don't worry. Wait for it to dry and give it another coat or two. You just want the paint to look solid through the plastic.



While this is drying, get an old container, blue paint and some small, blueberry looking, rocks. You can substitute blue marbles or blue glass beads for the painted rocks. You could also use red if you want your fruit to be cherries or raspberries.



Mix a little bit of water with the paint in the container and throw in your rocks. I did this in a few groups. Just shake them around. They coat very easily.



Take the rocks out of the paint with a plastic fork or spoon and lay on parchment paper or waxed paper. Roll them around as they dry so they dry on all sides.



This is a PDF file. Simply click on the image and you will have the option to download or save the file.



After you print your 'By Their Fruit' label, cut it out. I used double sided tape to attach it to the lid.





Next, fill the basket with your 'berries'.



I used a few of the 'berries' to sit beside my basket in my kitchen.

This simple little fruit basket helps me to focus on the fruit I am bearing.



Do you like to have reminders like these around your home? What ways have you found to bring them in?


By Jennifer, StudioJRU



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Winners & What's up Next
Jul 06, 2012 01:10 am | incourage



The road to Motherhood can be a winding and tricky one. If you're a new mom, prospective mom, or were reading this week's post and shaking your head in agreement– we're right there with you. You'll find plenty of useful knowledge in both books featured this week!



Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year
Spirit-Led Parenting: Finding Freedom from Fear



The Winners of a free copy of Spirit- led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year are...

10) Brittnie
32) Brandi Symoniak
56) Christy
79) Jess S
108) Heather



You can follow Megan and Laura's motherhood journey at their blogs Sorta Crunchy and In the Backyard.  And find their book, Spirit- led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year here!

***

And we love how Jamie reminds us that "motherhood [does] not require perfection as a prerequisite." Jamie found freedom from perfection in her Motherhood journey. We hope you will too with her book, Mindset for Moms: From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 Days.



Freedom in Motherhood, Freedom in Mindset
Is Your Mindset About God Flawed?

Below are the winners of a copy of Mindset for Moms. Winners are listed by comment number and will be receiving an email shortly!


Wednesday's Winners:
16) Krissa
27) leandri

Thursday's Winners:
6) Helen G.
15) Kristena

And here's a look at what's coming up next week! You can take a look at the remaining Recommended Reads Schedule here.



July 9-13

Empty Promises: The Truth about You, Your Desires, and the Lies You're Believing / Pete Wilson

In Empty Promises, you'll learn how to replace, and not just relinquish, life's empty promises by turning your focus and worship toward Him. It is the only thing that will set you absolutely free from the endless pursuit of everything else.

[Judy Harder]

When You Need Your Heart In The Right Place {And A Friendship Manifesto}

Jul 07, 2012 01:20 am | Kristen Strong


"Let's be women who no longer compare and compete, but celebrate and complete our friendships...with the unique offering we bring." Renee Swope

On a sun drenched Saturday, us girls gather at Jen's house, each bringing a glass or porcelain plate. On Jen's driveway, we take turns dropping our plate. After each one shatters, we walk around and pick up a few of each other's shards to add to a few of our own.

Because this is what good friends do, become safe places to break wide open and share the shards of the mess.

We take each other's broken plate pieces and place them in heart-shaped molded plaster. When we are satisfied with our individual mosaics, we work grout in between the shards.

Because this is what the best kind of friends do, they hold onto each other's broken parts and encourage Christ's love to enter all the in between places.

Sometimes I've done this well and other times not so much.

If you expect me to be a perfect friend {sister, daughter}, you will be sorely disappointed. I mess up and can be selfish and want to talk too much and listen too little. I laugh obnoxiously loud. I might forget your birthday.

Only Jesus gives us never-disappointing, always-fulfilling friendship and support. And when He guides me to the story of Ruth and Naomi, I smile remembering one of my favorite pictures of genuine friendship.

Ruth had such devotion to Naomi, she vowed not even death itself would come between them. Ruth adopted Naomi's faith, so she knew they would spend life in eternity together. But while they lived and breathed on earth, Ruth would do everything in her power to be the kind of friend who celebrate and complete Naomi. In other words, Ruth would not do anything that would separate their hearts or drive a wedge in their friendship.

Like the colorful pieces in a mosaic, loving friends in practical ways  reflects vibrant beauty. And while those outward expressions show love, my inward heart must be in the right place. Because like the grout between glass and porcelain shards, the right heart holds everything together. To ensure a right heart within me, I must make wise day-to-day decisions on how to interact with my genuine friend, to not do anything that drives a wedge in our friendship.

So, I keep this tucked away. I don't follow it perfectly, but it shows my heart's goal.



A Manifesto for You, Friend

I will be a safe place. I won't share your confidences.

I will talk about you behind your back, and I will use words that build you up and show you off.

I will defend your reputation rather than contribute to its demise.

I will show humility through encouragement, and do my best to let my actions reflect the way Jesus sees you.

I will allow a united spirit of completion rather than a divisive spirit of competition enter our friendship.

I will pray for you when you ask me to.

I will be accountable and trustworthy ~ my yes is a yes.

I will be for you and not against you, even when what I say may sting a bit.

I will be there to share in both hard and good, to divide the sorrow and double the joy.

I will give your kids extra grace when they are ornery in front of me. And when they are having a moment, the only thought I'll entertain is it must be your turn for the hard day. Yesterday was mine. And probably tomorrow, too.

I will forgive you when you make a mistake. While I can't control how you behave towards me, I can control how I behave towards you. And I'll do my level best to err on the side of grace and love. Because heaven knows I need to receive it as much as I need to give it.

In friendships, where do you struggle keeping your heart in the right place? What mosaic pieces of friendship would you add to the manifesto above?

Kristen Strong, Chasing Blue Skies

[Judy Harder]

When You Feel Like You Want Just a Little Bit More

Jul 09, 2012 01:20 am | Holley Gerth

Yellow tape blows in the wind as tourists press in to peer over the edge of Niagara Falls. Emergency vehicles swirl their lights as firemen and police officers put their heads together and talk quietly.

"What happened?" my husband asked a man standing next to us.

"Some guy went over the falls."

I suck in a deep breath and whisper a prayer. But it's what the man said next that stung my heart.

"He probably wanted to get a good picture for Twitter. You know how people are. He ignored the signs. Then he got to the edge and slipped over."

It turns out that's not what happened and miraculously, the man survived.

But I kept thinking of those words again and again because it could have been what happened.

A man risking his life for Twitter.

It sounds so foolish.

And yet...don't I sometimes do that too?

Perhaps not my physical life but the life God has given me.

I love social media. It's a beautiful way to connect. Some of my deepest relationships have grown from this space. I feel called here.

And yet like with all gifts from God, I'm learning there are boundaries to be heeded. All around Niagara Falls there were signs declaring to stay behind the rails.

There's a voice within all of us that says, "Just a little bit more..."

One more tweet.

One more email.

One more hour on facebook.

And it happens in our real lives too.

One more drink.

One more purchase.

One more inappropriate conversation.

We ignore the warnings because we think God is holding us back. And He is. He's holding us back from destroying ourselves.

What are your boundaries?

Besides the clear commandments God gives in Scripture, I believe it's different for everyone. One question seems to help us determine the distract: When does this shift from life-giving to life-threatening?

At some point even what's good can become the enemy of what's best. Sex. Food. Social Media. They can all be full of joy and bring life. But they also can destroy us if we let them. I'm weak and easily tempted. The moment I forget that is the moment my heart begins climbing over the rails.

For me, that means I have a Cyber Sabbath each week and I ask close friends to keep my accountable in other areas where I struggle. We can't do this alone.

As I drift off to sleep in my bed that night it seems I can still hear the rush of Niagara falls in my ears. So much beauty. So much capacity for destruction. God, help us always choose the first.

XO

Holley Gerth, author of You're Already Amazing



Hiding Behind The Distractions
Jul 09, 2012 01:05 am | pwilson


Pete Wilson is the founding and senior pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, a committed church community that he and his wife, Brandi, planted in 2003. Empty Promises is Pete's much anticipated second book.  Pete earned his Bachelors degree in Communications from Western Kentucky University and attended seminary at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. He enjoys spending time with Brandi and their 3 boys, hunting, gardening and football.



Like most of you my typical day is usually a blur. Between work, chasing three boys around the house, investing in my marriage, building friendships and trying to stay healthy spiritually and physically, it's hard to find time to just sit and think.

But I've also found that I often use those things as an excuse to not pay attention or examine my own heart.

But sometimes life forces you to pay attention or examine the internal questions you can no longer keep quiet. I had one of those moments recently. I was compelled to come face-to-face with what was lurking at the deepest level of my soul.

These were questions I could no longer ignore:

•    Why do I continue to say yes to others, even though I'm overextended and hurting those closest to me?

•    Why do I continue to struggle with showing my wife love on a more consistent basis, the way I should?

•    Why are my emotions affected more by how many people show up at church than by just being in the presence of our caring God?

•    Why do I continue to strive to find my identity in things like acceptance, power, and money instead of in who God says I am?

Each and every question that came to my mind revealed another level of self-deception in my life. It revealed another empty promise I was chasing after.

As I've been spending more and more time alone with God, trying to get to the bottom of the empty promises I've bought into, I've started praying, "God, help me to know me. Help me tear down the scaffolding of power, praise, perfectionism, and performance that I use to prop myself up. Strengthen me so I can bear to be naked and vulnerable in your presence, willing to see the areas of my life where Christ-likeness is so lacking."

"Willing to see"—that's crucial. Because most of us are experts at hiding from what we don't want to know about our own lives.

When my middle son, Gage (on the left in the picture above), was just a toddler, he loved to play hide-and-seek. He especially loved the hiding part, so typically I would have to be "it." After sticking my face in my hands and counting to twenty, I would search the house for him, announcing out loud each step I took and each place I looked. Whenever I found him hiding behind the couch or underneath the table, he would quickly close his eyes as tightly as he could, convinced that if he couldn't see me, I wouldn't be able to see him.

Often we play a similar game with God. In our adult version of hide-and-seek, we hide behind all kinds of noise and distractions. We get up in the morning and turn on the TV, hoping it will distract us from having to think. We'll get in the car and immediately turn on the radio or jump on the phone. Our days will be full of surface level, meaningless conversations about the weather, styles, or the latest celebrity gossip.

We actually fool ourselves into thinking that if we don't acknowledge the areas of our lives where we've bought into empty promises, maybe God won't notice them either.

And while self-awareness can be painful, it can also be the beginning of transformation.

I'm praying my book "Empty Promises" will serve as sort of an invitation for you to look deeper into your own life.   It's an opportunity to wake up and look deep into your soul to uncover the layers upon layers of self-deception and the truth that lies beneath them.



Giveaway: Answer this question to enter to win one of two copies of Empty Promises.

Are you ever tempted to hide behind the noise and distractions in your life?


***

You can find Pete on his Blog here, along with other Empty Promises Resources.

[Judy Harder]

Pursuing Friendship {and 4 ways to do it}

Jul 10, 2012 01:20 am | Dawn Camp


Ladies at My (in)RL Meetup

Recently I met a lady in my homeschool group. We talked for less than 30 minutes, but had mutual friends and interests and enjoyed each other's company. Less than two weeks later I received an email invitation to her house for an end-of-the-school-year homeschool moms' get-together. Admittedly, I was impressed: this lady understands how to pursue friendship.

Although I didn't know many of the other ladies included in the invitation, I decided to go—to get out and meet new people. I spent most of the evening talking to one of our hostess's neighbors, who didn't know anyone else there. We'd never met (and may never again), but I enjoyed our conversation and the evening in general.

Some are natural hostesses like my new friend, who gathered close to twenty ladies at her home that evening; others panic at the thought of entertaining. But whether social butterflies or introverts, we're all wired with the need to connect.

Let's talk about creative ways to get-together with other ladies and actively pursue friendship!

Recipe Dinner Party
Invite a few friends to your house for dinner. Ask them to bring a favorite dish and enough copies of the recipe to share with each guest. Break out your seldom-used china; get fresh menu ideas; enjoy adult company and conversation.

Book Swap
Get together with a few friends at a book store with comfy chairs and hot beverages. Everyone brings a favorite book and shares why they like it: a grown-up version of the school book report. If one appeals to you, borrow it or purchase it off the shelf. You can also do this at a home or coffee shop, minus the easy shopping.

Book recommendations, girl time, warm mugs—what's not to like?

Curriculum Review Night
This one's for homeschool moms, who are always searching for good resources for the kids or for mom enrichment/encouragement. Bring a few of your best recommendations and lay them out to share. Browse each other's picks; ask questions; take notes; find treasures.

Ladies' Night Out
I'll move mountains to attend a Ladies' Night Out, or LNO. Sometimes they're planned in advance; others are the result of a rough week—a last-minute plea for some girl time. They can be hosted in a home or held at a restaurant.

Although an LNO needs no theme, here are a couple of good ones:

Chocolate (yes, I hosted a chocolate-themed LNO)
Prayer mug exchange (bring a wrapped mug with your name written on a piece of paper inside of it; take home another wrapped mug; pray for the giver of the mug you chose whenever you use it)
How many of you attended an (in)RL event? Show of hands! Did you talk about getting together again soon? Have you?

Use these ideas as a springboard for future get-togethers and feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments!


Beautiful In Its Time
Jul 10, 2012 01:15 am | Jennifer




Patience. Honestly, patience is a struggle for me. Always has been. But it is something I am working on.

In a world where instant  is almost everywhere, it can be difficult to not focus on that and start expecting it. We often want what we want, when we think we want it. We are trying to run the schedule. When we are focused like that, it can lead to disappointment, frustration and worry because it is not about what we want our schedule to look like. It's God's time, it's God's schedule.



We may not know why something happens when it does or why something isn't happening when we think it should, but the best part is that we don't have to. We don't have to always understand. We don't have to know. We don't have to worry. He has blessed us with the peace of mind knowing He knows.

He's got it. It's already planned.

We just need to trust and have the faith to believe that. He knows the when. He knows the why. While we are busy worried about the details... He sees the big, beautiful picture.



He has made everything beautiful in its time.  Ecclesiastes 3:11

He made us here and now. We are at this place, in this time for a reason. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Know there is beauty in His plan. This is our time.

Believing we are made for this time means that we know it is good. His plans for us are good. There is no need to look back with regrets and there is no need to be looking for more. Right here in this moment is where He wants us to be. Here is beautiful.



The Redeemed Outdoor collection is about remembering God has made everything, YES EVERYTHING, beautiful in its time! It is a perfect time to add something from this collection because DaySpring has a "Summer Joy" sale going on right now for 25% off the entire website (includes clearance) with code JOY2012.



We Matter, Y'all
Jul 10, 2012 01:10 am | Christina Carter




It's hard to remember that we matter.

On days when the brand new bag of goldfish has not only been dumped out, it's been walked on...
on days that the dog has chewed off the corner of the bathroom door...
on days when you step on Legos or Littlest Pet Shop creatures and almost curse creatively in front of the children...
on days when the baby finds the Sharpie pen and creates a beautiful mural on the rental house wall...
on days when your teenager acts like you are the most ridiculous person on the planet...
when no one will eat the dinner you made and you're up to your elbows in dirty dish water, wondering if you're ever going to get the laundry caught up...
days filled with guilt and regret and feelings of not measuring up...
days when the best thing you can say is, "Well, we survived it." as you fall into bed, exhausted.

It's hard to remember that any of this matters.

But it does.

There are a lot of things I didn't realize before I became a mother at nineteen.  I didn't know that I'd never eat another thing without someone asking for a bite of it.  (My almost twenty year old still does this.)  I didn't know that I would count using the restroom unaccompanied as pure joy.  (Because it's so rare.)  I didn't know what exhaustion was.   I didn't know what fear was.  I didn't know what love was.

And now, at 39, with five kids and very nearly twenty years experience, I do.

I know now that every wiped nose, every kissed boo boo, every story I read them is important.  I know now that answering a toy cell phone or clapping for a dancing toddler is vital.  I know now that every loud, messy, chaotic mealtime feeds not just their bodies, but their souls...and ours.

Every action we do for these little lives He has trusted us with...it builds them up or it tears them down.  It teaches them something, for the good or for the ill.

I tried to remember this yesterday when 5:30 came and everyone fell apart...just like they do every day.  I had a toddler crying and hanging around my legs...I had a five year old standing by the stove saying, "But I'm so starving, Mommy"...I had a dog whining and barking in the backyard...two different teens to pick up from this place and that.  My blood pressure was skyrocketing and my stomach turning thanks to the morning sickness (which lasts all day, I'd like to point out.)  I felt myself slipping into irritation and frustration and even a touch of hopelessness.

I looked down at my ankles, where that toddler girl grumbled, where her sister was still starving... and I realized this.

I have a choice.

And so I turned the stove to Low.  I got out two bowls and filled them with sliced strawberries.   I sat my two littlest ones in my lap and read them a story about a yellow duck.  I hugged them tight and they giggled, I kissed their heads- one auburn, one blonde.  I breathed deep and thanked Him for this moment, for these ones.

I said thank you for love.

And I asked for the strength to remember this moment at the next crisis point, the next meltdown moment...I asked Him to remind me the importance of my calling.

The truth is, sometimes I will remember and make the better choice and sometimes I won't. But He is with me, either way.

When have you chosen well?  When have you chosen poorly?  Were you able to see Him in both?

By: Chris, Restoration

[Judy Harder]

I Will
Jul 11, 2012 01:25 am | pwilson


Pete Wilson is the founding and senior pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, a committed church community that he and his wife, Brandi, planted in 2003. Empty Promises is Pete's much anticipated second book.  Pete earned his Bachelors degree in Communications from Western Kentucky University and attended seminary at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. He enjoys spending time with Brandi and their 3 boys, hunting, gardening and football.

***


I've often thought it was quite ironic that I have actually trusted God for my salvation and my eternity, yet I struggle so much to trust him with the small details of my life. So when I read about someone like Abraham, who trusted God radically with what mattered most to him, I have to ask how. How did he do it? Why did he do it?

I believe Abraham's faith was built on some words God gave him in the original promise. In the midst of a life filled with uncertainty and with a call on his life that was going to bring more uncertainty, God gave Abraham two words to live by:

I will. I...will.

In fact, six times in God's original conversation with Abraham (Gen. 12), God said, in some way or another, "I will."

I realize you may be facing heavy discouragement or deep heartache because you hold tightly in your hands a very detailed picture of the way you hoped your life would turn out. When you compare that picture with reality, the differences are obvious.

But I firmly believe that if you are willing to trust the God who says, "I will," nothing that is of eternal value in this life is at risk. You ultimately have nothing to fear. Fear enters our minds and begins to take over when we cling too tightly to those pictures of what we think our futures should look like, elevating them to idolatry status and diminishing the Artist of those very pictures.

It's those unexpected shattered-dream moments that provide us with twists and turns in life where we meet God. Rarely do we surrender when we feel strong and in control. But when a dream is shattered, when life takes an unexpected turn and veers out of control, that's when we fall to our knees. That's when a new dream can grow.

There's a lot about what happens to us in life that we cannot control. What we can control, however, is our willingness to seek God in the midst of all the craziness. Surrendering doesn't mean we spend less energy on pursuing our dreams, but it does mean we spend less nervous energy. It means we see our dreams for what they are—possibilities and promises and goals, not sources of our peace and security. It means our confidence is no longer in our ability to achieve each one of our dreams, but in the strength and power of the God we claim to follow.

How do you get there? All it takes is a moment where, like Abraham, you relinquish your grip on your picture of your future and say, "Jesus, I want to trust you with that. Even if it means risking all the stuff I think is valuable, all the good things I'm waiting for, I'm still going to trust you."

And maybe even in this moment, God is showing you something in your life that you know you need to let go of—or at least hold with open hands. It may be something good. It may even be something from him. But it's something you've been trusting to give you what only God can provide.

Often, we're unaware that we even have an idol until our dreams get threatened. This is a fundamental truth about idolatry: prosperity tends to mask our idols; crisis tends to reveal them.

As long as things are going well in my life, as long as my picture of the way I want life to turn out matches up with the picture of my reality, I don't think I have an idol problem. But when there is a crisis, then all of a sudden I realize, "Man, I've been banking on this dream in a way that no dream should be banked on."

Our dreams, no matter how great or noble they may be, always make lousy gods.

Giveaway: Answer this question to enter to win one of two copies of Empty Promises.

Are there any dreams you need to let go of or at least hold with an open hand?

***

You can find Pete on his Blog here, along with other Empty Promises Resources.



 
Liabilities and Assets
Jul 11, 2012 01:20 am | Sarah Markley


So often we see our failings as liabilities. Or others failings as liabilities.

There's the girl who had an abortion. There's the girl who committed adultery. There's the girl who walked away from her husband. There's the girl who got so drunk on her own power and influence that she forgot who she was.

I think, however, if you ask any girl who has failed {and failed big} and has allowed God to return her to grace, you'll find that those failings are not liabilities but they are assets.

Maybe you are one of these girls.

Several years ago when I created some terrible situations in my own marriage, I came out the other end of it a changed person and we came out a changed couple. In the months that followed I wrestled with a lot of things, but the one piece that is, even now, hard to work through is

If I could change it and go back, would I?

Yes. And no.

My life was so different after, and my new life was so distinct in the aftermath of it all that I don't know what my life would have been had we not experienced those hard days. Would I trade this newness for life without it?

Yes. What I did was wrong.

So. very. wrong.

My addictions were horrible and my heart was a mess and I know God can do big things without our sinning to add to the mix. So yes, if I could go change it all, I would. I wouldn't have been the betrayer, the hurter, the wounder. I wouldn't have chosen the path of destroying. I would take every minute of it back.



But No. Without the wound, our relationship would never have experienced the kind of renewal that it did. I would not have fallen in love with Jesus in the way that I did when I became the rescued. And without my experiences I would never have the authority to speak to others in the midst of the same pain. Without what I've walked through I could never give counsel to a woman over a cup of coffee on a Thursday morning.

It's an upside down idea. And one that is eternally hard to swallow: that God uses the deep dark to create the very, very good.

"In my deepest wound I saw your glory and it dazzled me, " St. Augustine said.

Because Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Your glory is made beautiful in my wound.

Your beauty is made evident in all of my failings.

My liabilities are made assets because of Your love.

Who better to counsel a woman through depression than one who has lived through the dark night of her own soul? Who better to help someone walking through marriage recovery than a person who has seen her own returned to health?

In this upside-down Kingdom, our liabilities are made into assets for Him. Our sins are turned into glories for Him. He redeems what has been lost and takes back what has been stolen.

He does this kind of crazy stuff every day.

So we must remember that there's not a one of us who is any bigger liability than any other of us. My betrayals can be used (have been used) for helping couples knit themselves back to one another. And all of our failings can be turned into things that He can reach in and use us for what is good and true and perfect.

Has God used your weaknesses and wounds for His glory? How has He redeemed your own failings?

by Sarah Markley

[Judy Harder]

Breaking From The Herd
Jul 12, 2012 01:25 am | pwilson


Pete Wilson is the founding and senior pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, a committed church community that he and his wife, Brandi, planted in 2003. Empty Promises is Pete's much anticipated second book. Pete earned his Bachelors degree in Communications from Western Kentucky University and attended seminary at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. He enjoys spending time with Brandi and their 3 boys, hunting, gardening and football.

***



Here's a confession. Criticism often crushes me.

Why? Because I'm tempted to live for the approval of others instead of trusting Christ.

Following Christ with all your heart is tough. Sometimes God calls you...
to take risks
to stand up against things
to go against the flow
to do something remarkable.

But when you live for the approval of others you limit your life to following the herd.  You see, most people feel safest when they're in the middle of the herd. What happens when you break off to follow a God prompt, to take a risk, is the herd will criticize you until you fall back with the rest of the crowd. The approval addict is destined for a life of mediocrity because they always have to follow the herd.

I'm not a fan of criticism. I honestly think it's just a cowardly form of self praise but it's part of life. We're surrounded by a lot of hurt people.
So we all have an important decision to make. Are we going to allow the voices of criticism to define us or the voice of the one who gave His very Son for our salvation.

Today I want you to live authentically. And by that I mean, the practice of letting go of who you think you should be in order to embrace who God's calling you to be.

Listen, choosing to be "real" over being "liked" will not be the safest thing you do today, but it might be the most God honoring and rewarding.

Do you know why so few people live like this? It takes tremendous courage. You are constantly bombarded by a culture (sometimes even in the church) that is doing its best, day and night, to make you anybody but yourself.  That's why authenticity is the cry of all but the game of few.  Letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are in Christ is one of the most courageous battles that we'll ever fight.

It takes courage to be authentic because it takes courage to admit you're not perfect.
It takes courage to be real about your weaknesses, knowing you will not live up to people's expectations of who they think you should be.
It takes courage to break from the herd.
It takes courage to say "I love you" first.
It takes courage to try something when you don't know if you'll be successful at it.
It takes courage to create art.
It takes courage to ask for help.

Giveaway: Answer this question to enter to win one of two copies of Empty Promises.

Do you ever struggle with looking to the approval of others to give you what only God can give you?



***

You can find Pete on his Blog here, along with other Empty Promises Resources.

My Mess is the Perfect Place for His Glory
Jul 12, 2012 01:20 am | Kristen Welch


"You inspire me" she says as she hands me a bag full of baby clothes for Mercy House. "I wish I could be like you, but I'm just a mom."

Her words sounded like an apology.

I offered a feeble smile.

Because at the moment, I didn't even want to be me.



I was still beating myself up over how I started the day. Before 9 am, I'd lost my temper with my kids. I was rude to my husband and irritated with, well, the planet.

When the house was finally quiet and I'd said my "I'm sorry's" I put my head on my desk and cried. I knew my family would forgive me, they always do. But I have the hardest time forgiving myself.

But this is me: a tangled mess of humanity-more failures than successes.

This is what I really wanted to say to that sweet mama, ten years younger than me, standing at my door, looking in my life, like I had it all together:

I need you to see me, really look at me. I'm no different than you. I'm a mom and wife and sometimes I not very good at either. I have dirty piles of laundry that match the dirty places in my heart. Even though I said yes to a dream much bigger than myself, I struggle everyday trying to find God in the mess. And sometimes that mess is me.

It's okay to apologize for what you've done, but not for who you are.

I think we look at people doing something brave and we tell ourselves, we could never do that. I've said the same thing to myself a dozen times. I truly believe this is a lie that is meant to discourage us and keep us paralyzed.

When we maximize others, we minimize ourselves. In God's eyes, we're all the same.

So, when someone calls me brave or inspiring, especially on days like today, I feel like such a failure. Not just for my obvious mistakes, but for making it appear that I'm something I'm not.

I hope my ugly humanity challenges others to do something extraordinary for Him.

Because if God can use me to inspire another mom while I'm deep in the trenches of motherhood, He can use anyone.

Print this out and tape it to your bathroom mirror:

I am His.
I am enough today.
My mess is the perfect place for His Glory
by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family



Spark of Hope
Jul 12, 2012 01:10 am | Kaelynn Judd




Psalm 147:3-5, "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit."

She sits alone on the cold bathroom floor, with sobs choking her breathing and shaky hands writing frantically.  She does not say a word, but the emptiness in her eyes is screaming loudly. Her pen sloppily writes a farewell letter. It says that she can no longer cope. It explains how she has struggled with depression. It shamefully describes her battle with self-injury. Her words are both desperate and bitter. She sighs as she places the letter carefully on the floor.

She moves slowly and deliberately to the bathtub. She lowers her body into the hot water and grabs a razor blade. She desperately tries to take her own life, but just as she finally gains the courage to lower the blade onto her arm, her cell phone rings. Before her mind can comprehend what is happening she has already answered the call. She breathes heavily as she listens.

"Are you okay? I don't know why, but I just had a horrible feeling that something was wrong."

She chokes down a sob. "I'm fine. Just a bad day."

The conversation lasts only a few more seconds and then she is alone again. However, something has changed. A tiny flame of hope has begun to spark in her heart. Perhaps God hasn't given up on her after all. How did that acquaintance know something was wrong? They had hardly spoken.

She drains the tub, quickly dries off her body, and shreds the letter. She throws the torn pieces into the toilet and watches them swirl and disappear.

That is what I remember when I look back six years ago. I was a mess of both physical and emotional scars. I had given up on God and traded my faith in Him for dark addictions and seclusion. However, although I had given up on God, He never gave up on me. He had an amazing adventure planned for my life although I couldn't see it at the time.

Within months of that suicide attempt I would be on a bus to Brazil where God would call me to full time missionary work. A year later I would be speaking at an addiction rehab center in Costa Rica, sharing my story and watching a full grown man cry as he traced self-inflicted scars on his arms. A year after that I would be in Zambia spending a month with an unreached tribe. After that, I would be in Belize serving beside my fiancé (the man who called me in the bathroom) as we painted broken-down homes. The next year I would be with my husband in Brazil as God pieced together the final preparations for us going onto the field full-time.

That brings us to 2012. My husband and I are watching as God miraculously weaves together His plan for our lives. I have never been so happy and so content. Sure I still struggle from time to time. I still wear the scars of my past failures and sometimes I doubt God's plan, but I can tell you this. God has never given up on me. Even when I denied Him and relied on my own strength to solve my problems, He still had plans for me.

Regardless of what you have been through. No matter how broken you are. God has a plan for your life. Just be patient.

By: Kaelynn Judd