(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

On Comparing Yourself

May 03, 2012 01:20 am | Arianne

Every login, every click thru, nearly every email, has the potential to make me feel so inadequate.

The beautiful homes on Pinterest shine a light on my crayon scribbled fingerprinted walls and the many piles of laundry waiting to be folded.

The bloggers with their gorgeous photography point out how badly I need a lesson on how to use a camera.

The beauty tutorials on Youtube make me wonder how I ever survived not knowing how to apply liquid eyeliner before now.

Every new success on Facebook reminds me of my failures.

It's so very easy to get sucked in, isn't it?

But oh, sister, Jesus wants us to be reminded of truth. To ignore those lies that we aren't enough. To step away if it becomes too much.

We all, each of us, are in different seasons of life. We make different choices, and God has different plans. Jealousy can so quietly slip in and take root and slip it's vine-shaped lies around our throat, and squeeze.

Squeeze until we're nearly suffocated, and can't even hear God's Spirit wooing us back to Him.

The best weapon against this stuff? Gratitude, quiet (unplugging), prayer and more prayer.

What to pray for? Ask God to refine your heart and buff out those harder edges that need softening towards others, the edges that make you feel like you don't measure up. The edges that make you forget how blessed you really are, even if those blessings don't look like everyone else's. It's grace to realize when these issues pop up, grace when we can rest in the truth that Jesus is in the business of redeeming. And grace when He forgives us for forgetting it.

Do you need to take time off from the compare-a-lot habit you've acquired? Have you been sucked in in the past and learned your lesson? We'd love to hear your stories.

***

[Judy Harder]

Sometimes I Talk Too Much
May 04, 2012 01:20 am | Kristen Welch


I was in the 7th grade at a track meet. I was irritated at a teammate. I ran up to a group of runners from my school and started gossiping about the girl. Everyone was perfectly still. No one said a word.

I looked down at the girl sitting at my feet and it was the very one I was talking about.

That's a hard lesson for a 13 year old girl who wants to be seen as a Christian on campus.

My mouth has always gotten me in trouble.

There.

I said it.

It's a confession: I talk too much.

Oh, I'm not a gabber. I hate talking on the phone and I really only blab one-on-one. I'm the quiet one in a crowd.

But I would say 95% of the trouble I get myself into is tongue-related. The other 5% is eating too much, also related. Hmmm....

It's not so much quantity of words, it's more quality. Whether it's conflict with my husband, strife with my kiddos or chatting with a girlfriend, I usually end up regretting what comes out of my mouth.



The Bible offers some great advice on shutting it.

This truth in James 3 is just plain painful:

5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

The tongue- a wild, wanton killer. That about sums it up. I engage verbally with my tween when I should just hush. I throw out the last word with my hubby when I should be quiet.

But the power of the tongue is two-fold! I love the promise my lips hold. I love that when I choose to speak life, it encourages, uplifts, blesses.

It all comes down to a controlled choice.

Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. I Peter 3: 8

I'm thankful for the work of the cross, new mercies every morning. I still struggle in this area, almost daily.

Five Reasons I Need to Hush: (Also titled: Five Truths God is Teaching Me about my Big Mouth)

1. What's in my heart comes out of my mouth: If my heart isn't in the right place, my words will be a reflection. "From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh..." When my words are negative, when I'm complaining more than praising or in verbal conflict, I usually need a heart checkup. I often find that my lack of control is closely related to my lack of time with God.

2. I can have a greater impact in the conversation by listening more: Memorize James 1:19-20 "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

3. It's often our tendency to tear down, rather than build up: It's amazing the difference I see in my kids when I choose the option of building up and affirming them instead of criticizing their behavior or actions.

4. If my words aren't healthy or redemptive to the person receiving it, I shouldn't say them. Ask yourself: Will the people I'm talking to walk away encouraged or discouraged by my words?

5. Be spiritual by being quiet. My pastor says "Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is be quiet." Just hush.

Take the Word Challenge

Since this is an area of weakness for me, I decided to challenge myself to be quiet for an entire day. It's not that I didn't say anything, I just made an effort to make my words meaningful and encouraging. It was really challenging when it came to disciplining my kids. I noticed my ugly tendency to tear down. I encourage you to try it and ask God to reveal truth to you if you struggle in this area.

Written by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family



When You Feel Like You Live On A Treadmill

Exhausted, I stare down into the sink. It's clogged. Has been for several weeks. When it does slowly drain it leaves a dark grimy film, and no matter how many times I scour it, the grime returns each time it's clogged.

(Which is daily.)

I stare at the water; it isn't going anywhere. I look up into the mirror, my face red from exertion, hair soaked with sweat. I just got off the treadmill.

The absurdity of it strikes me: I'm exhausted from running nowhere.

In so many ways.

Tears sting my eyes as my reflection blurs sideways. I had thought about it while running, had thought about how ridiculous it was to run, all alone, for forty minutes and not get anywhere.

Why God?

Why am I getting nowhere?

Everyday I get up. You do too. Everyday we obey God in the mundane details of life behind the scenes. We wipe counters, noses, and bottoms.  We listen, labor, love–often alone. We wash, work, worship. And then we wake up the next morning and do it all again.

Kinda sounds like a treadmill to me.

I poured this out to Him as I ran, one foot in front of the other, scenery never changing. The only thing ahead of me was a wall.

That's how my days feel sometimes as well.

My exercise is in obedience to God. I'm obeying Him with my body. He clearly called me to this, so I obey. Get up each morning. Get on my knees. Spread out His Word. Ask. Seek. Lace up the shoes. Run the miles. Write the words. Raise the kids.

Repeat.

Sometimes the scenery never changes.

Then why run it?

I ask Him this, these exact words, while pounding out the steps, keeping pace with prayer. His still small voice:

"Because you're training."

Tears fall on the treadmill.

Yes. Of course. He's training me. He's training you. These long days where the scenery never changes. These long days putting one foot in front of the other. These long days with nothing ahead but a wall. These long days alone. When we're sweating and exhausted and getting nowhere at all ... we're training.

We're getting stronger. We're building endurance. We're learning not to quit.

The scenery may never change, but we're changing.

That's why we run on a treadmill. Why we do the duties each day, choosing to delight instead of despise, because we choose to believe He's changing us as we are faithful in the small things each day.

Oh sister, I know the Sacred Mundane can be hard. There's no adrenalin rush in the trenches of life. I know it's not exhilarating to run on a treadmill, alone, staring at a wall and getting nowhere. Doing the duties no one else sees and at the end of the day looking around and wondering, All that work ... for what?

For faithfulness.

Because God is watching, sister. Because God is training you for His glory. Building endurance, building character, growing some choice fruit that can only grow in the shade.

When the scenery never changes, keep running.

When no one's there to cheer, keep running.

When all that's ahead is that same bleak wall, keep running.

When it seems you're getting nowhere, keep running.

Race Day may come and you'll be ready. Opportunity may knock and you'll open that door. But most importantly, a day will come when you hear the most glorious words,

"Well done; you have been faithful with little things. Enter into My joy."

Keep running.

–

{Feel like you're running hard and getting nowhere today? Please know your sisters here are cheering you on. How can we pray for you? Please let us know  ... thanks for reading!}

From Kari Patterson, Sacred Mundane

Love. And Grace.
May 03, 2012 02:27 pm | Deidra




It's been twenty-three years since I sat in that hospital room, waiting for someone with just a little bit of common sense to walk in and speak some truth into the situation. I mean, seriously? They were going to let me take this baby home? What were they thinking? What was I thinking?

Ten little fingers and ten sweet toes and raspberry lips in a bow. Long eyelashes resting like silk on creamy, toffee skin. And a sweet, baby smell that completely undid me. Didn't these people know that if I took this baby home I would break him? Where was the instruction booklet? Where was the  test to see if I knew what I was doing? Seriously. What were we thinking?

Who among us really knows what she's doing when we make a baby and bring him home? When we put him on the bus for kindergarten, or give her the keys to the car, or drop him off at college, or move her into her very first apartment with the door that sticks and the bottom step that squeaks?

Back in that hospital, no one ever came running down the corridor, waving their arms in the air and shouting, "Wait! Stop! This woman cannot take this baby home! She has no idea how to be a mother!" Nope. They just calmly brought me the papers to sign, made me sit down in the wheelchair, and put that baby in my arms. Then, we rode down the elevator and through the door of the hospital without even one glimmer of hesitation from any of those hospital people. The security guard didn't even glance in my direction.

So, we did the only thing we could do. We grew up together. Along the way we broke each other. And we healed each other. And we kept growing up together. There's no way around the mistakes. There is no getting through this motherhood thing without a heartbreak or two. There is no escaping sleepless nights and tough decisions.

So here it is: your permission to be the imperfect mother that you are. Because perfect is just too much pressure. We'll never get there. Not this side of heaven. But we've got two things that make it all work. We've got love and we've got grace. The thing we're really good at? We are good at loving those ten fingers and toes and the way that baby smells and the way they grow and make us grow right along with them. And God has grace enough to fill in all the places we fall short. So go ahead. Be your imperfect self – head over heels in love with that baby or that toddler or that teenager or that college graduate. And hang on tight to God, letting Him fill all the empty spaces with grace.

By: Deidra, Jumping Tandem

{Did you see that lovely picture of DaySpring's Bless this Home Wall Art up above? It's on sale this month for only $24.99– that's $20 off! If you are looking for a perfect Mother's Day Gift, or need to give the husband a couple hints, jump on over and take a look at DaySpring's Mother's Day Selection!}

[Judy Harder]

What Your Heart Needs to Hear Most Today...
May 05, 2012 01:20 am | Holley Gerth




What are the words you wonder about in the middle of the night, the quiet moments, the carpool line?

What are you're afraid to believe but really, really wish you could?

I'm loved,
I really can do this.
I'm chosen for a purpose.

Whatever it is, it's scandalously true.
Not because you dreamed it up. Or you think it would be nice. Or maybe you've finally earned it.

It's true because the God who spoke the world into being has whispered his heart to you too...

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him {Psalm 103:11}

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. {Philippians 4:13}

This is what the Lord says..."I have called you by name, you are mine." {Isaiah 43:1}

We don't have to just wish. We can deep-in-our-bones know. Easy? Nope, not in this fallen world. But with the One Who Loves Us and each other it really is possible.

What's one truth your heart is holding on to right now?

–Holley Gerth, author of You're Already Amazing

[Catwoman]

   Thank you for posting this today, Miss Judy.  I truly appreciate your postive attitude.   

[Judy Harder]

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
~Habakkuk 3:17-18

[Judy Harder]

How to Let Go of Mama Guilt

May 07, 2012 01:20 am | Kristen Strong


I heard Gwenyth Paltrow ask it once, and I shook my head in agreement,

"What is it about all this guilt that comes with motherhood?"

Indeed Gwenyth, one does come with the other. No matter one's wealth or status or age, we moms know the pang of guilt.

Oh sure, I feel guilt over a plethora of parenting mistakes, like hollering at my kids and forgetting important school events. And for these smaller things, I'm learning to repent and ask for forgiveness while not buying into false guilt. But then there are the bigger life choices and circumstances that wash a tidal wave of guilt right over me, like the three years our children went to three different schools.

For the first year, our sons attended a private school. While it had many things going for it, it clearly wasn't the best choice for our boys. The second year, I homeschooled. I tried to do it well and to love it, but I failed on both counts. My precious relationships with my boys suffered. So after praying long and hard, my husband and I felt God decidedly urging us to give the public school a go. And the year went swimmingly until the end of the year when a bullying situation hit one of my boys so fast and furiously, the year ended on the lowest of the lows. And while my son now thrives in a fantastic school, I can still get caught up in the guilt, crying over regrettable choices and all the coulda, shoulda, woulda's.

So this leads me to ask: When our own choices and life circumstances throw our children into harsh difficulties, how do we move past the guilt that comes with the territory?

We know to apologize. We tell the Lord and our children we're sorry. Then we take it one step further and ask our children to forgive us. Because as Andy Andrews says, asking for forgiveness can heal virtually any wound.

And then there is something else we must do, and I learned this from the apostle Paul.

If there is one rock star of Scripture who had a reason to feel guilty, it's Paul. Before Paul became a Christian, he was bent on destroying God's children: the church. And he succeeded in persecuting and killing many Christians. But after he met Christ, he penned this to the church in Philippi:

I'm not saying I have it all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward – to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.  Philippians 3:12-14, The Message (emphasis mine)

While Paul referred to himself as the worst of sinners, he still had a healthy perspective about his identity in Christ. And why? Because he did not wallow in his sins or let guilt swallow him. Instead, Paul reached out for Christ. He moved outward, not inward. He knew the law of the Spirit of life set him free from condemnation, sin, and death. So he repented, asked for forgiveness, and moved on with his eye towards the goal: more Jesus.

Paul was not some super spiritual special case. The same freedom he lived is available to us, too. Let's own our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Let's move outward, not inward. And then, like Paul, let's be off and running, quick to receive God's grace so guilt doesn't have a moment to settle in. Let's make room for the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit to fill every square inch of our heart and soul so that the only things we wallow in is His light and love.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.  Romans 8:1-2

Do you struggle with mama guilt? What are some ways you combat it so you wallow in Truth not tears?

Kristen Strong, Chasing Blue Skies



Barren Beauty
May 07, 2012 01:10 am | jess




What happens when you awaken to the fact that life is not quite what you imagined it to be? When hopes and dreams are not coming to fruition and you can see no way clear that they ever will? What happens when you wake up to a tantrum and it's your own?

These grown up temper tantrums are not the throw yourself on the ground and kick and scream, although sometimes it does seem tempting. No. Grown-up tantrums take on a grown up kind of feel. They are manifested through various ways. It could be a subtle emotional disconnect from husband, children, loved ones. It could be a checking out of the moment and living in the 'what ifs'.

It can be listening to lies that eventually spread to reality skewing what is truth.

But no matter how the tantrum manifests itself, what we are saying is this: 'I don't like this—this is not what I hoped for, dreamed for, planned for and I want it changed...now!'

Surrender is one key to stopping the tantrum.

Surrender to God who breathes stars and by his voice put this world in motion and is also in control of my personal little world.

Trust is the other.

Trust that he has my back and everything I experience goes through the filter of his love—including difficulties. Especially difficulties.

Staying the course when I ride the same conflict wheel over and over again like a little hamster in a wheel makes me want to scream. Staying the course when my decisions are questioned by people who matter can grip me with indecision. Staying the course when I'm not really at the beginning and I am not at the end, but somewhere in the middle feels like an unending road trip.

Growing up on the plains of Montana I know the meaning of 'middle of nowhere' and up there, you have to stay the course to get to your destination. There are no pit stops. The road stretches out unendingly before you and the landscape appears to engulf you. Some have called the plains of Montana desolate and barren, but I have learned to see the beauty.

Is it possible to view this 'staying the course' time as beauty as well? When all seems barren and desolate and I long to turn back or take a different course, couldn't I ask for my eyes to be opened to the beauty of this time?

I need to look for Isaiah 41:18-19: 'I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water and parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One has created it.'

I have learned that the Lord's power is more majestic and amazing when it is showcased against a backdrop of a barren and desolate landscape. Could it be that during this 'staying the course' time, the Lord is simply waiting for me to trust Him and to trust His power in my life?

Could we agree together that no matter the landscape we will surrender and trust Him to turn barrenness into beauty? He will, my friend, and it will knock your socks off. And when he does, will you rejoice with me?

Jess

[Judy Harder]

Gift From Above
May 08, 2012 01:20 am | Jennifer


I am a May baby and I received such a sweet gift from my mom for my birthday. A personal birthday cake, in a special mug, just for me. Having your own individual cake makes you feel extra special! We all want to make our loved ones feel extra special. They are, after all, precious gifts from above!

You start with a box of angel food cake mix and a box of regular cake mix in any flavor. (We used a white cake mix.) Mix together in a sealed bag or container. This can be stored in a cabinet for making gifts or your own personal cakes.



Take 3 TBSP of the cake mix you just mixed up and put that into a small bag.

Print off one of the gift tags and the instruction tag. Just click on the tag you would like to use and you will be given the option to download or open a PDF file that you can print out.





Cut the tags out. Punch out the hole. I like to add a little ink around the edges of my tags.



Get a pretty mug that will be used for the gift. The mug pictured is from DaySpring's Ever Grateful line.

Use a piece of ribbon or twine to tie the gift tag and the instruction tag to the mug. Put the small bag of cake mix into the bottom.





You can put a little something extra in the mug as well. The options are endless. I put a few fresh strawberries in this mug right before I gave it as a gift.



The instructions are really simple. You just empty the little bag of cake mix into the mug and add 2 TBSP of water. After mixing, it will cook in the microwave for 1 minute.

That is it! A perfect little, individual cake.



Cut the strawberries to put on top and top that with a spoon of whipped cream!



This is a simple and sweet reminder to those we love that we see them as a gift to us. A perfect gift from HIM to us. You can use this individual cake as a gift for any number of occasions or simply as a loving treat.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17



What is a special birthday memory that you hold close to your heart?

By Jennifer, StudioJRU


PS from me, Judy
My special memory is, Each birthday we got to chooe the kind of cake mom made for us. dad liked anything with cherries in it, sis liked chocolate cake and brother just liked cake, no matter what kind (oh, not coconut) I always asked for Date nut cake.
while everyone was still home, mom enjoyed baking and of course, we loved to eat it.
a few years before she passed away, I was going to get to spend my birthday with all the family. My BD is the 26th of November and since I was born on thanksgiving day, always consider that my birthday, date or not.
so mom asked what kind of cake I wanted and of course, I said Date nut. she made it, but when I got to Topeka and the greetings were over, she told me NEVER TO ask for that cake again. She didn't remember it being so much work. LOL She was giggling the whole time she said this. But, I still haven't talked myself into making that cake. after all I can't do better than she did. I have the reciept, so someday i may tackle this. Happy Mothers Day !

[Judy Harder]

It's all for You...
May 09, 2012 01:20 am | Especially Heather

"Mountains bow down to give you glory, oceans will roar with praise. Creation breathes to tell Your story, and to lift up Your name because it's all for You. You are the Alpha & Omega, beginning and the end. You are the Lord my redeemer and in You alone I stand." — Coffey Anderson

My husband flew me out to Cape Cod for Good Friday, and as I was walking the harbor I realized something. I realized that in spite of the heartache in my life – overall my life is really pretty awesome. When I look at my husband {who still swoons over me some 19+ years after we wed} I feel so complete and loved. When I think about my remaining children {who put up with me, despite my overbearing neurotic tendencies} I feel complete and loved.

And when I think of my daughter Emma Grace in heaven, living with the Lord {despite every possible act and plea to keep her here}, I feel overwhelmed with emotions that are no longer sadness or joy.. but a mixture of both.

"You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety" -Psalm 4:8

Sometimes, I get so lost in my despairing emotions that I fail to stop and see the blessings that are right in front of me. I have to be reminded of Gods love, grace and most of all His mercy.

"You didn't have to give Your life, but you chose to. You didn't have to, but You did..."

He didn't have to get beaten and carry the cross that He eventually died on. He could have said "enough", but he didn't. He could have chosen to walk away and leave us in our sins, but He didn't.

″I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." – Luke 19:40

He created the universe, and the universe will praise Him, even if we don't. Think about that, the rocks will not keep silent in praise to Him, and yet we choose to not see His abundant mercy and love for us? Let me rephrase that...

I choose not to see His abundant mercy and love for me....

Starting now, I will choose joy. I will choose to praise my heavenly daddy. I will choose to see the goodness around me; The goodness that only comes from Him.

So here is my invitation to you:
Will you join me in choosing to see the bright side of His love? Will you start each and everyday looking for the good instead of the bad? Will you join me in expecting good things? I am tired of being tired, and I know that you are too.



Beauty Is In The Heart Of The Beholder
May 09, 2012 01:10 am | Deborah DeArmond



Jesus looks at our hearts and judges us beautiful, clean, His own. Can we find the beauty in others? Can you choose to see them through His eyes?

"Bless her heart! She clearly doesn't have a friend in the world. If she did, they would have told her never to wear that outfit again!"

Meet my "inner judge". She has escaped and is on the loose again. And even when she's captured, it's like trying to stuff a jack in the box back down inside and out of sight.

"Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." Matt 7:1-2

"The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7b NLT

Even though we know that a way to escape being judged is to withhold judging others, we can't quite get there. After all, I'm not really judging, I tell myself. I'm simply expressing my opinion. The problem is that once we start down a critical path, it's a slippery slope. And we've opened ourselves up to the work of the enemy. God's desire is always to see us built up. The enemy's goal is to tear down.

Jesus was clear – don't go there. In John chapter 8, He himself is cautioning others not to judge Him. As my pastor recently said, "Jesus couldn't get a job today in His own church. He didn't have a Divinity degree, didn't even attend Bible school, never owned anything of real value, traveled around with a bunch of misfits, hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes. He needed a haircut and He never married." That resume would have been quickly tossed into the "no thanks" pile.

All we have is our paltry human standards as criterion. And that's a pretty pitiful set of guidelines. And we forget that we are subject to those same standards from those around us. Everyone but Him.

So how do we avoid becoming the judge once we've shoved her back in the box? Don't carry the box around! Burn it on the altar of your heart! It's not my job to assess and pronounce sentence on those around me on every issue from fashion to lifestyle. It IS my job to love them, pray for them, and share the Word and the joyful acceptance by God of who we are with them. It's up to Him to address those things that are not pleasing to Him. And my guess is that the fact that those shoes do not go with that dress is really of very little interest to Him.

As a parent, the Father is none too pleased to see one of His children judged critically. He is pretty protective. And He has chosen to use some pretty odd folks along the way. I'm pretty sure John, hanging out in the wilderness, clothed in animal skins, got a lot of folks talking.

I will choose, Lord, to see those around me with new eyes. Eyes that watched the crowd mock you while He chose to see me as beautiful, worthy of your death on the cross. "

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Remind me today Lord, that you alone are appointed and qualified to judge. Help me "burn the box!"

By Deb DeArmond, MyPurposeNow

[Judy Harder]

For A Rainy Day
May 10, 2012 08:47 am | Deidra

I lost my umbrella when we moved. It was cute and girly and a little bit whimsical. Just what I needed on rainy days when the wind whipped up and fat raindrops dive bombed the earth, my windshield, and my brightly painted toenails. Without that umbrella, I'd hop over puddles and skip across the parking lot to make it to the office door before my hair went poof. Before the thunderclouds beat me down.

Sometimes my life is like that. Storm clouds form and burst wide open before I can make my way from one place to another. The rain beats me down and sends me running for cover before the entire day ahead of me unravels and goes poof. Sometimes what a girl needs is a little bit of covering. Sometimes it helps to look up and know He rejoices over us with singing, even when the weather takes a turn and sends us hopping across the parking lot in search of a safe place for our feet to land.

The image of God rejoicing when He looks at me is more than enough to make me smile. I mean, I know me and I know that sometimes rejoicing is the last thing I deserve. I know I can be the source of the thunderclouds in my home, and that my harsh words sometimes can strike like lightning in my family's life. I know sometimes I'm the reason for the storm. I also know sometimes life gets so heavy I can barely see my way through the dark and the fog of laundry and teens out past curfew and things that go bump in the night. But none of that matters to God. Whether I'm shining light, or just muddling my way through the darkness, God looks at me and He starts humming. Girlfriend, just knowing that is enough to keep my day from going poof (even though my hair may still have a mind of its own).

Last week, I replaced my lost umbrella with this cute and girly and whimsical umbrella from DaySpring's Good Things collection. I love it even more than the one I lost. If you're reviewing an item from this month's selection, link up your post below!



Testing Unfine
May 10, 2012 01:20 am | Deidra
The Monday after (in)RL, I decided to give  Lisa-Jo's "unfine" a try. I decided, when I went to work on Monday, that I would not say I was "fine" if I wasn't. And lately, work has been way less than fine. We've been in a season of crazy expectations, unrealistic deadlines, limited resources, and overworked associates. No. We have not been fine.

Normally, I pass my coworkers in the stairwell, and we do the Hi-how-are-you?-Just-fine-thanks-and-you? thing. Or we gather together in the cafeteria at the beginning of the day where we catch up on the latest news headlines, find out who watched what on television the night before, and share little bits of our lives. We skim across the surface of our families and of our hopes and dreams. We don't go deep, and I'm not really sure just how real we get.

So on Monday morning, when my colleague asked me how I was, I took a deep breath and said, "Oh, you know. Crazy day ahead." Those two sentences were like the key that opened up her heart. She shared with me the struggles of her workload, and then some of her frustrations with her family, and some of her deepest hurts. It was amazing. And beautiful. Right there in the cafeteria of a major corporation, with microwaves beeping and the Today Show talking to us from the television on the wall.

How in the world could I have know that one "unfine"  could open up so much? But that's just the point, isn't it? Community is built on the gritty, messy, imperfect bedrock of all the places we are not okay. It's when I push through pretense and take the risk of letting you see my dirty dishes in the sink, or rub my feet when I'm sick, or help me sort through the muck of a family falling apart.

We are not supposed to do this alone. As much as I want to guard my heart and my reputation and your impression of me, God has designed it so that community works best when I am real with you. Community works best when we are real, and sometimes unfine is the most direct route.

[Judy Harder]

A little beauty goes a long way
May 11, 2012 01:20 am | Tsh Oxenreider

This morning, I stepped over no fewer than five stinky, balled-up socks en route to the bathroom. After breakfast, I scrubbed congealed oatmeal off the kitchen table where the 4-year-old sat. I asked for happy hearts to reign during this busy day, and was returned with blank stares. And of course, there was a dirty diaper.

I'm not complaining. This is the stuff of life, and it's all sign of living with humans, among those I'm rearing and guiding towards maturity. Hugely thankful for that.

And I'd argue there's even a certain beauty to it all—the snot-encrusted face that grins with devotion as he hands me his paci to give it a try. ("No thank you. No... I'm good. Really. Please stop," I say as he crams that sucker against my mouth.)

But this dirty, daily grind can honestly overwhelm me if I don't add a splash of genuine beauty in to my everyday. It's true... I'm a girl. I thrive on beauty.

In all my homes and in all my travels, I've learned that I'm wired to highly value aesthetically-pleasing things. I used to feel guilty about that, as though it meant I was shallow or ungrateful for the less-than-perfect in my life.

I now know it's symptomatic of my being made by a creative Creator. God, more than any other human that ever existed, loves and values beauty. He's the Ultimate Artist. The Master Sculptor. The Genius who thought up color.

Why else would He paint delicate stripes and patterns on deep-sea fish that no human would ever likely see? What is His purpose behind every single blossom on every single tree? Any specific reason snowflakes are all completely unique?

He places a high, high value on beauty. On creativity. I figure it's more than okay that I do, too.

So I like to add a dash of that into my everyday, and I have to say—it helps my attitude. It causes me pause when I'm up to my elbows in dirty dishes. Here are a few ways I do that:

1. I play Pandora or Spotify almost all day long.
My stations change per the family's mood, but music can subtly, drastically, add beauty to the humdrum of home life. Plato once said, "Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul."

2. I often light a candle.
Traditionally-scented candles give me headaches, but naturally-scented soy candles quietly bring order and awaken my creativity. It's surprising how easily a scent transforms mood. I can still remember the sweet cinnamon smell of a childhood friend's house... I want my kids to one day say the same about our home.



3. I open the blinds—and the windows—when it's nice outside.
Natural light is good for your mind, your heart, and your health. I'm prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I can testify to the power behind good lighting. Go out of your way to throw open the sashes of your home and see if you're more energetic. (And I'd love to see an actual sash on a home.)

4. I fill my mind with beautiful words.
Even if it's for five minutes, I aim to read or listen to poetry (or poetic words) each day. Be it a morning in the Psalms, a good word through a podcast while I fold laundry, or a well-written novel before bedtime, words are powerful. And they don't always need be utilitarian, though some of the most beautifully-crafted words and phrases often find meaning in my life anyhow. I just love to inhale, fully digest lovely words for its own sake. For my own sake.

These little things are beautiful, and beauty is essential to my mood. They help me lift my head to the heavens. I like to go out of my way to find it at home.

What speaks beauty into your daily grind?

By Tsh of Simple Mom


On The Business Of Raising Boys
May 11, 2012 01:10 am | Krystle Bowen

This is a huge responsibility, this raising of boys.


We are raising the next generation of leaders

We are raising future husbands and fathers.

We are raising boys that will someday have a wife that they need to love, cherish, respect, and adore.

We are showing them, with our love, how to be a team.

How to talk to one another.



Do they see us respecting one another in our disagreements, in our struggles?

Do they see us pray when times get tough and the world is a mess around us?

Do they see us seek joy and praise Him even when we weep?


We are teaching them to treat women with respect, can you see boys, how your Daddy respects me?




How he still, after these almost 9 years of marriage, dates me, surprises me, adores me....


We are teaching them to treat girls, and women well.

In an age where girls flaunt themselves like pieces of property

and disrespect themselves by the clothes they wear,

the words they say and the actions they take...


How do we raise these boys to close their eyes to that, to refrain from that?

How do we teach them to resist those temptations, to stand firm and wait?

To keep themselves until that day they walk down the altar.

In an age where men have been asked to become less than,

how do we teach them to be bold leaders and take the charge and be strong and manly?


We pray, we pray a prayer of desperation....

Guard their hearts, their minds, their bodies.


Put your family first, your job is second.

God should be at the center.

You need to lead, don't let others tell you different.

You were made to be the leader, don't let this world strip you of your manhood and become something less than intended.

Do you see how we protect our family?

Do you see how we spend time with friends and family and do life with others?

Do you see how being a part of a community is important?

I know that you are not mine.

You are HIS and He has lent you to me, to us, expecting great things from your Daddy and I....

as we did not bring your into this world on a whim...but prayed and ached for you all.

Knowing the responsibility and seeing it before our eyes are two different things. Such a heavy load to bear.



So do it. Get dirty, be noisy.

Don't sit still, don't be quiet.

Be loud, make a mess, jump from high places, push the limits....be wild.

Be a boy.


My heart prays you turn out just like your Daddy.

The example he has set before you...follow it.

Do you know how blessed you are to have him as your example?

I breathe a little easier, knowing this.


My tender, over-protecting heart asks God,

"Why did you give me boys?"

These people that need to be let free...

These little ones who will soon let go of me, to cling to their Daddy more.


Oh, if I could only wrap you in my arms and protect you from it all.....

But then, you would not accomplish what He intends for you.


Those battles, those tests...they will make you stronger.

How to pray for that? To pray for hardship and trial so that you will see Him, and see what He has done for you.

That is a hard prayer....

We will not always do it the right way, we will fail you.

But He will not.

By: Krystle Bowen, 3 Little Men & a Mommy