Happy Independence Day

[Judy Harder]

Daily New Life
     
Compassion

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

Most of us desire to be compassionate people, don't we?  But do we know what compassion really is?  Henri Nouwen once wrote: "Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken.  But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering.  What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick fix for it.  As busy, active, relevant. . . [people] we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution.  This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference.  And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer."

Showing compassion goes against our daily grind and our drive to achieve. It's selfless, time consuming, and often not pleasant.  But it's one of those double blessing things - you'll bless another with your act of compassion, and you'll be blessed in the process.

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."
- Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

[Judy Harder]

Daily New Life
     
Dangers of Isolation

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

You hear it from almost every corner: American culture is becoming increasingly marked by loneliness and isolation.  In one way it's understandable.  There is a sense of safety and control in isolation and disconnection; but it's a false sense of safety.  In fact, living lonely is anything but safe.  It's a dangerous lifestyle because it allows a person to overlook real life, real people, and all the benefits and rewards that go with growing relationships.

And probably more important, our character has little chance to grow when we live life in isolation from others.  It allows our thinking to go unchallenged, and allows damaging issues we may struggle with to grow and thrive in the fertile soil isolation provides.

If you're feeling isolated, do what an old commercial on television used to say, "Reach out and touch someone."

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."
- Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
 

[Judy Harder]

 

Contentment

Don't you find telemarketers annoying? I felt bad telling them that they should stop calling because their calls made me break out in hives (I really did!). So, I changed tactics. I just tell them, "I'm satisfied." That's right. Tell them you're very happy with what you have and aren't interested in whatever they're selling.

It's the one response they're not prepared to hear. Because the basic assumption they work from is that you're unsatisfied and discontent with where you're at in life. That's a fundamental assumption that's easily made in our materialistic, consumer-driven society. And it's a pretty safe assumption, since restless discontentment seems to be the standard.

Benjamin Franklin once said discontentment makes rich men poor, while contentment makes poor men rich. The apostle Paul said this disposition of heart doesn't come naturally. It's something we must learn, and it's never too late to start.
 



The Adventures of Parenting

I recently heard a story about a couple that brought their two kids with them on a Saturday run to a hardware store. Mom went in one direction and Dad took the kids in another. For just a  minute Dad wasn't paying attention to the kids—he was preoccupied looking at some of the plumbing hardware he came to buy. When he turned around, he was stunned. His daughter was climbing off a display toilet and his son was pulling his pants down to take his turn.

What in the world was Dad suppose to do now? Well, he did what most of us would've done—he grabbed the kids, found mom as quick as he could, and laughed the whole way home. And wouldn't you know, the next time they visited that store, the toilet seats were all taped down.

If you have kids, you know they can be hilarious, embarrassing, tender, and incredibly challenging. And as God's children, I sometime wonder if he doesn't feel the same way about us.

[Judy Harder]

 

Cultivating A Divine Appetite

Unlike physical hunger, our appetite for God is endless. Once you've satisfied your physical hunger you no longer want to eat. In fact, the sight, smell, or even the thought of food can almost make you sick after you've eaten your fill.

But the opposite is true of our appetite for God. The very act of satisfying it intensifies it. That's precisely why Scripture tells us to: "Taste and see that the Lord is good." To come to His banquet table.

Experience for yourself that He satisfies completely. And when you do, something wonderful and life changing will happen: you'll find yourself wanting more of Him, and less of what you've been using as a cheap substitute for Him.

It all starts with surrender . . . surrender to the fact that you're not God—He is. And His ways aren't our ways. And trust Him every day—that He knows what He's doing.

[Judy Harder]

Forgiveness: The Great Mandate

The Bible's central theme is God seeking and saving those in dire need of forgiveness. Jesus willingly died on the cross for you and me, even though we often don't feel a need to be forgiven. And even though you and I all too often continue to exhibit a rebellious nature. Through faith in Jesus, God forgives us in spite of ourselves.

But there's more. God's forgiveness is a creative force. It spills out to you when you receive it and affects every one of your human relationships. You see, forgiveness is both a gift and a command of God. It's God's gift to us that allows us to have everlasting life; at the same time, God tells us He won't extend that forgiveness to us if we're not willing to forgive others.

Remember. . . we don't deserve God's forgiveness, and neither should we expect others to deserve ours.

[Judy Harder]

Daily New Life
     
Happily Incompatible

I'm Steve Arterburn with a New Life moment.

When asked to reveal his secret for staying married for well over half a century, Billy Graham gave a simple, yet somewhat paradoxical answer: "Ruth and I are happily incompatible."

That's a great answer to  questions everyone inevitably asks themselves at some point during marriage: "How can I stay married to this person?" And, "Did I marry the wrong person?"

But that "Did I marry the wrong person" question is a dangerous one. Why? Because it's framed completely wrong. And wrongly framed questions twist the issue and therefore elicit wrong answers. Furthermore, the question is based upon a serious misunderstanding of marriage itself. And misunderstandings create a fertile field for myths—myths that have the potential to damage your marriage.

When you married (or when you do marry) you made a commitment to do certain things, like love, honor & cherish. There weren't any "out" clauses in case the person wasn't the right person for you.

Learn to be happily incompatible.

[Judy Harder]

Daily New Life
     
Navigating The World

I'm Steve Arterburn with a New Life moment.

Jesus Christ calls his followers to be in the world but not of the world. What does this mean? One famous preacher explained it using an analogy of a ship in the ocean.

What's a ship designed to do? Sail upon the ocean. That's its element. That's precisely where it thrives. The same should be true for Christians in the world. God equips and empowers us to love our neighbors, care for our home and our possessions, and develop culture. We're to be the world's salt and light!

Now let's return to the ship analogy for a moment. What happens if the ocean gets into the ship? Disaster. Destruction. The ship sinks. The same is true for Christians with regard to the world. If the world's values and allegiances penetrate you, you'll become hopelessly confused, contradicted, and compromised.

Set sail, but keep your ship in shape by staying close to God. Read His word. Become a disciple. Spend time with others who believe. You need to be in the world . . . not of it.

 

[Judy Harder]

 

Out Of Eden

I'm Steve Arterburn with a New Life moment.

Can we return to the Garden of Eden? One German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, made this observation after studying the Bible's account of Adam and Eve's first sin.

"So Adam must leave paradise. For every one of us it's in the past. And only fools think that it can be re-established on this earth. As a rule, those who have promised men a heaven on earth have made it a life of hell. No, there is no road back."

This same German theologian suffered greatly under the Third Reich...all due to one man's attempt to return to Eden...to find utopia.

Utopian dreams aren't usually as brutal as the Third Reich's. But they're all around us, and ultimately, no less delusional. That's because they point us back to Eden rather than forward to heaven, and they ignore the fact that mankind fell with Adam, and desperately needs Jesus.

 

[Judy Harder]

Parenting With Grace

I'm Steve Arterburn with a New Life moment.

When my daughter, Madeline, was born, we bonded like superglue. I'd have walked on hot coals for that baby girl! She could do no wrong. I could hardly believe God had given me such a perfect child.

Then, something strange happened. The older she grew, the less perfect she became. What I used to think was cute began to look more like meanness and even downright rebellion.

Consequently, I no longer wanted to be Mr. Wonderful Father. I wanted to send her to reform school! Then a wise man came alongside me. "Don't give her only what she deserves," he said, "Give her what she needs—just like Jesus does for us.

" Wow! What a life-changing moment! If Jesus gave me only what I deserved, I'd be condemned to hell. My need was forgiveness, mercy, and grace. How are you at dispensing those?

[Judy Harder]

Passing It On

Hey dads, have you ever considered the connection between the fact that Jesus of Nazareth appears to have been the most confident, assured man to ever walk the face of the earth and what His Father said to Him when He began His public life: "This is my Son, whom I love; with whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:17)." That simple statement contains two powerful and invaluable messages every child needs to hear and own from his father:  he's loved, and he's well pleasing. To pronounce such a blessing upon a young man—or a man of any age for that matter—releases that pent-up anxiety that constantly wants to know, "How am I doing, Dad?" It's a simple, but profound, spoken expression of love and affirmation.

If you're a dad, please give your child this invaluable gift.

Passing It On

Adapted from the book The Secrets Men Keep by Stephen Arterburn

Did you know there are more than a hundred elements in the earth's ground that all animal life must consume in order to survive? That's right, we can't live without dirt! But there's a problem: the human body can't absorb these elements in their mineral state; we simply can't digest dirt.

That's what plants are for. Their roots absorb the earth's elements and deliver them to us in a digestible form. The plant kingdom is God's vehicle for delivering life-sustaining chemicals and minerals to the animal kingdom.

Fathers function something like plants. They're a transmission device—a channel to deliver life giving and life sustaining truth from God's heart to the hearts of their children.

Fathers are called to mentor and tutor adults in training for eighteen or so years. During that time a continual process of transmission is occurring through many means: teaching, correcting, modeling, challenging, and disciplining—all in the context of love.

A father's objective is to prepare his children for adulthood. By the time a child is a mature teenager he or she ought to be making what I call "the turn"—turning their eyes from their earthly father to their heavenly Father.

That's the whole point: to show children what God is like so they'll let loose of their parents' hands, reach out and grasp God's hand, and walk with Him for the rest of their adult lives. What a high and holy calling stands before you, dads!

Here are five essential ingredients of a father's blessing to his child:

1)    The first is identity, the most basic sense of which is genetic. Everyone longs to know who they are and whose they are. A child looks to his father to tell him who his people are and what they believe.

2)    The second ingredient is acceptance—the conveyance of belonging, value, and competence. The child who gets this from his father knows he or she is wanted, valued, and has a positive contribution to offer the world.

3)    Next comes modeling. A child should be able to watch his father to learn how to manage feelings, control emotions, and respond to the challenges of life.

4)    The fourth essential ingredient of a father's blessing is introduction. A child needs his father to introduce him or her to others who will model maturity and reinforce the father's instruction. The inclusion of a child in the life of his father and his father's friends conveys acceptance by the very group to which the child stands in awe.

5)    Fifth and finally is release. There needs to be transitional markers in a child's life where the father recognizes and affirms the child's maturation, and incrementally confers higher levels of trust and affirmation.