Don't Touch My Junk..

[Warph]

WARPH ALERT....... WARPH ALERT.......... WARPH ALERT.......

THIS JUST IN:

From the desk of Janet Napolitano:

Re: Recruitment and training of TSA airport screeners.

It has come to my attention that some of our TSA employees have expressed a certain amount of discomfort with the use of full-body scans and the accompanying "grope the rope" or "press the chest" searches that are mandatory for those opting out of our high-powered (but perfectly safe) X-ray machines.  While I appreciate that the use of any new technology may be somewhat disconcerting at first, it is our obligation to make sure that we perform our assigned function flawlessly, without regard for our personal feelings for the manner in which we conduct ourselves on the job.

To expedite this flawless function, I am immediately implementing the following hiring and training policies for our personnel.  Please be advised that Attorney General Eric Holder has reviewed these policies and assures me that they are both legal and Constitutional, and that President Obuma has personally expressed to me his full support for these policies.

1)  In all future background checks, we will now give preference to individuals who have arrest and/or conviction records for such offenses as indecent exposure, voyeurism and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  It is the finding of our psychology department that these individuals will be far less likely to flinch from performing their required duties while taking nude X-ray pictures and feeling up passengers.  Additionally, any individual who has been successfully sued for sexual harassment should be given preference in the hiring process, especially if the harassment in question involved "inappropriate" touching.  It is the finding of this office that such individuals have the moxie to do what needs to be done to accomplish our mission.  Finally, extra preference should be given to any individual who meets the above criteria AND is sexually oriented towards members of his/her own gender.  It is our belief that these individuals will be highly motivated to provide an extra-thorough touch to their job performance.

2)  For those screeners who still blanch at doing their duty for their country due to "moral scruples" or other such nonsense, our psychologists have developed a training regimen which they assure me will bring them around in a hurry.  These screeners will be required to view no fewer than four (4) consecutive hours of same-sex pornography (the gender of the performers will be the same as the gender of the TSA screener) at least twice a week.  It is the view of our psychologists that repeated exposure to this material will, over time, break down these screeners reluctance to "get a grip" on their job duties, and thus improve their performance.

3)  As per our previous guidelines, please be aware that the following groups are considered especially dangerous, and should receive extra attention from our new screening procedures:
  a) U.S. military personnel returning from war zones or headed to war zones.
  b) Individuals wearing garb readily identifiable as christian clergy.
  c) Individuals sporting any button, decal, t-shirt, hat, logo, etc. identifying themselves as members of the "Tea Party" movement.
  d) Elderly or disabled persons using metallic walkers, canes or braces of any sort.
  e) Boy Scouts.

4)  As per previous guidelines, please be aware that any individual wearing readily identifiable Muslim garb is NOT to be subjected to this screening process for ANY reason.  This process is, of course, highly objectionable to practitioners of the peaceable religion of Islam, and could well be construed as profiling.  Any TSA screener found to have coerced or attempted to coerce any Muslim to submit to these screening procedures is subject to immediate termination and criminal prosecution.

I hope and expect these new recruitment tools and training tips will be of the utmost value in carrying out our ongoing mission.  Remember, only you can prevent profiling.

Sincerely,

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano

[Warph]

And another thing while I'm on my bitch box...
It really irritates me for those who say.. "well then don't fly.. if you don't want to blindly follow their rules.."
Tell THAT to the father of a 13 yr old girl who is having to have her crotch and breasts groped and fondled 4 TIMES by a 250 pound government worker with the I.Q. of room temperature. The whole thing is totally insane.
How can anyone think that we should just "go along" with this?!?

That is the whole viewpoint of everything anymore! Starting with the Hussein administration and Pelosi.
This whole "go along to get along" attitude is foolish and stupid when the whole concept is totally flawed and backward to begin with.  The TSA.. our government... and the idiot's who choose to work for it  ARE WRONG!  PERIOD! Going along with them isn't going to make anyone "safer". It's like gun control. The entire concept is flawed from the get go because they don't understand the problem. Good intentions won't buy you shit against radical Islam or anyone else who wants to kill you. You need a good system and people to administrate it.  We have neither one at this point.
And a President who doesn't have a clue or the desire how to obtain it because he is trying to be too politically correct.
What's next... ?
If they get by with this... What is next??

Hmmmm....Several comments come to mind..... My 3-step solution....

1: If EVERY air traveler was issued a .45 ACP caliber handgun and a full clip with the boarding pass, everybody would sit quietly, reading a book for the full flight.

2: Why not require that every traveler eat a ham sandwich before boarding?

3: Suppose we all borrowed from the Meg Ryan orgasm scene in "When Harry Met Sally" during their pat-down? 

1 and 2 would certainly discourage Muslim terrorists, and 3 would discourage the TSA.

Private Screening Companies??  I dunno.  Seriously tho'... It doesn't matter who they choose to do the screening.... they must follow the exact same SOP that TSA follows, set by DHS, unfortunately.  Most people can't tell the difference in a TSA screening and that of a private security company, it has been said.  One that comes to mind is SFO.  The real problem is with DHS.  They control the content of the SOP.

Soooo.... I think I like my idea best.

A good article on private screeners: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hkv8DAy2qgKuuVCICy6HASaKlFFQ?docId=c5e727bff09845e393608ea000909811

[Diane Amberg]

Unfortunately the "alternative" company didn't make it. They jumped in before they were ready and failed. They were undercapitalized and had to declare bankruptcy early on.You may remember them, they started up right after TSA did. You would have to go through a one time in depth back ground check ,photo, passport check and screening and would have been issued a secure pass with a chip in it something like a drivers license and then go through a totally different area at the airport with no searches. It was meant for business people, etc. who travel constantly and would have been ideal for someone like Teresa. Perhaps someone like them will try that approach again.

[Varmit]

Look its real simple, if  you want to stop the "terrorists" then kill the terrorists!  This TSA pat down and scanners haven't stopped a damn thing.  Not one.  The only thing they have accomplished  is restricting the freedoms of the citizens of this country.  Which is EXACTLY what the muslims community wants as well as our own gov't.  Do you honestly believe that our gov't is doing all it can to stop terrorist attacks against us?  If you do then you're a fool.  Just look at the so called Rules of Engagement our boys have to follow.  My God, we are giving terrorist combatants civilivan trials for crying out loud!  Something else I would like to point out.  This story has just come to the mainstream recently and is a "hot topic".  However, alternative news sources and blogs (such as infowars.com) have been covering this same story for quite a while.  But of course they were labeled as 'crazy conspiracy theorist".  It is high time that the citizens of this country wake up to what is really happening in our country, and around the world.  People who say "just don't fly, its not a Right afterall, its a priviledge" provide a clear illustration of just how effective the indoctration agenda of the "powers that be" has become. 

[Teresa]

I have some guy friends who have been talking about this alot.. as they also have to do a lot of flying.. Have to pass on what one said.. LOL

I think we should all fly as much as possible and pop a double dose of Viagra before going to the airport. When they grab your junk you'll sproing up like a giant bed spring then all the burka wearing TSA agents will have to retire since they can't look. It would greatly increase membership in the mile high club too.
Another nice touch is to bean up and fart when they touch your junk.
This could be fun.

[Diane Amberg]

Personally, I think private security companies will go after the job contracts really quick. Not all airports use TSA, they just have to be to TSA "standards." Also I was just told that not everyone will be patted or touched. Most will still go through the scanners, but a person would be pulled aside if the scanner "sees" something or the metal detector repeatedly goes off and can't be cleared or you get caught as a "random" pick, however that works. I don't know who to believe. Some of the smaller airports like Midway are much more casual, but the big International airports like O'Hare are the pits. So far we've been treated very well, but Teresa has flown since I have, so she would know better. If we decide to fly to Puerto Rico I'll let you know how it went. Maybe we'll take the train to Florida and then a ship to Puerto Rico instead.

[Varmit]

Glad I don't fly.  Simply put I would be going to jail for assualt.  This is insanity.  You opt not to fly and still get searched. 


TSA Warns Travelers May Be Arrested, Detained, and Fined for Refusing Search
Kurt Nimmo
Infowars.com
November 20, 2010

You will not be allowed to leave an airport until the government forces you to answer questions about why you refuse to have your genitalia groped. 
 
In response to growing outrage over naked body scanners and intrusive pat down searches of the private parts of air travelers, the TSA is warning Americans that they may be arrested and fined $11,000 if they refuse to cooperate with the agency's invasive and humiliating techniques.

The TSA warns that any "would-be commercial airline passenger" who enters an airport checkpoint and refuses to be subjected to "the method of inspection designated by the TSA will not be allowed to fly and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport" (emphasis added).

The TSA will work with local police in order to make sure the person remains on the premises and answers questions. "Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest," reports the Palm Beach Post.

"Once a person submits to the screening process, they can not just decide to leave that process," Sari Koshetz, regional TSA spokesperson, told the Florida newspaper. The policy includes people who decide not to fly.

Teri Barbera, a spokesperson for the Palm Beach Sheriff's office, said local police would assist the TSA in preventing people from leaving the airport. "We will handle each incident on a case-by-case basis," said Barbera. "The deputies will do it at the airport just as they would do it anywhere else."

On Wednesday, TSA boss John S. Pistole testified before Congress on the controversy brewing over the fact airports have become areas where the Bill of Rights no longer applies. Pistole said the TSA will enforce the new policies despite complaints that the search methods are too invasive and a violation of the Fourth Amendment.

Senator John Ensign, a Nevada Republican, asked Pistole about groups that objected to all forms of bodily search on religious grounds. "While we respect that person's beliefs, that person's not going to get on an airplane," said the TSA boss.

Now the TSA has announced it will also enlist local police to detain people who refuse dangerous naked body scans and molestation of their private parts.

In addition to not being permitted to board a commercial plane, they will also be interrogated by agents of the federal government. If not cleared by government bureaucrats, they will presumably be arrested and charged with a crime and fined $11,000.

[Teresa]

By John Lantigua Palm Beach Post

8:59 a.m. EST, November 20, 2010

If you don't want to pass through an airport scanner that allows security agents to see an image of your naked body or to undergo the alternative, a thorough manual search, you may have to find another way to travel this holiday season.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is warning that any would-be commercial airline passenger who enters an airport checkpoint and then refuses to undergo the method of inspection designated by TSA will not be allowed to fly and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport.

That person will have to remain on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and possibly by local law enforcement. Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest.

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"Once a person submits to the screening process, they can not just decide to leave that process," says Sari Koshetz, regional TSA spokesperson, based in Miami.

Koshetz said such passengers would be questioned "until it is determined that they don't pose a threat" to the public.



No one will be forcibly searched or arrested "just because they refuse to go through the security procedures," Barbera said. "That may rise to the level of suspicious behavior for the TSA, but it wouldn't rise to the level of suspicious behavior for a deputy," she said.

But Barbera said that if a person is judged to be a possible threat, deputies are legally permitted to detain and search that individual. "The deputies will do it at the airport just as they would do it anywhere else," she said.

Once cleared by the TSA and deputies, the people will be allowed to leave, she said.


http://www.sun-sentinel.com/business/sfl-airport-scans-pat-downs-refual-20101121,0,5604032.story

[Varmit]

This is sick. Every single agent standing there should be charged with molestation.  There is absolutely NO reason for this. And to make matters worse people are just standing around doing nothing about it.

[kshillbillys]

A retired special education teacher on his way to a wedding in Orlando, Fla., said he was left humiliated, crying and covered with his own urine after an enhanced pat-down by TSA officers recently at Detroit Metropolitan Airport.

"I was absolutely humiliated, I couldn't even speak," said Thomas D. "Tom" Sawyer, 61, of Lansing, Mich.

Sawyer is a bladder cancer survivor who now wears a urostomy bag, which collects his urine from a stoma, or opening in his stomach.  "I have to wear special clothes and in order to mount the bag I have to seal a wafer to my stomach and then attach the bag. If the seal is broken, urine can leak all over my body and clothes."

On Nov. 7, Sawyer said he went through the security scanner at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. "Evidently the scanner picked up on my urostomy bag, because I was chosen for a pat-down procedure."

Due to his medical condition, Sawyer asked to be screened in private. "One officer looked at another, rolled his eyes and said that they really didn't have any place to take me," said Sawyer. "After I said again that I'd like privacy, they took me to an office."

Sawyer wears pants two sizes too large in order to accommodate the medical equipment he wears. He'd taken off his belt to go through the scanner and once in the office with security personnel, his pants fell down around his ankles. "I had to ask twice if it was OK to pull up my shorts," said Sawyer, "And every time I tried to tell them about my medical condition, they said they didn't need to know about that."

Before starting the enhanced pat-down procedure, a security officer did tell him what they were going to do and how they were going to it, but Sawyer said it wasn't until they asked him to remove his sweatshirt and saw his urostomy bag that they asked any questions about his medical condition.

"One agent watched as the other used his flat hand to go slowly down my chest. I tried to warn him that he would hit the bag and break the seal on my bag, but he ignored me. Sure enough, the seal was broken and urine started dribbling down my shirt and my leg and into my pants."

The security officer finished the pat-down, tested the gloves for any trace of explosives and then, Sawyer said, "He told me I could go. They never apologized. They never offered to help. They acted like they hadn't seen what happened. But I know they saw it because I had a wet mark."

Humiliated, upset and wet, Sawyer said he had to walk through the airport soaked in urine, board his plane and wait until after takeoff before he could clean up.

"I am totally appalled by the fact that agents that are performing these pat-downs have so little concern for people with medical conditions," said Sawyer.

Sawyer completed his trip and had no problems with the security procedures at the Orlando International Airport on his journey back home. He said he plans to file a formal complaint with the TSA.

When he does, said TSA spokesperson Dwayne Baird, "We will review the matter and take appropriate action if necessary." In the meantime, Baird encourages anyone with a medical condition to read the TSA's website section on assistive devices and mobility aids.

The website says that travelers with disabilities and medical conditions have "the option of requesting a private screening" and that security officers "will not ask nor require you to remove your prosthetic device, cast, or support brace."


Sawyer said he's written to his senators, state representatives and the president of the United States. He's also shared details of the incident online with members of the nonprofit Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network, many of whom have offered support and shared their travel experiences.

"I am a good American and I want safety for all passengers as much as the next person," Sawyer said. "But if this country is going to sacrifice treating people like human beings in the name of safety, then we have already lost the war."

Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network executive director Claire Saxton said that there are hundreds of thousands of people living with ostomies in the United States. "TSA agents need to be trained to listen when someone tells them have a health issue and trained in knowing what an ostomy is. No one living with an ostomy should be afraid of flying because they're afraid of being humiliated at the checkpoint."

Eric Lipp, executive director of Open Doors Association, which works with businesses and the disability community, called what happened to Sawyer "unfortunate."

"But enhanced pat-downs are not a new issue for people with disabilities who travel," Lipp said. "They've always had trouble getting through the security checkpoint."

Still, Lipp said the TSA knows there's a problem. "This came up during a recent meeting of the agency's disability advisory board and I expect to see a procedure coming in place shortly that will directly address the pat-down procedures for people with disabilities."