Graveyard Humor

[genealogynut]

Be careful what you inscribe on a tombstone.  Here are some funny ones!

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Sir John Strange

Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.


Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.



To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.


From Burlington, VT.

She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.


Here lies my wife:
Here let her lie!
Now she's at rest
And so am I.

*******************************************************************

Shame, Shame, Shame


A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.  The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,

"Why did you have to die?  Why did you have to die?"  The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.  For whom do you mourn so deeply?  A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied............ "My wife's first husband."

                       ***********************************

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point.....he really never said too much.

One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked on his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home.

"Well," the woman said, "could I please wait for her?"

The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.

After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, "May I know where you wife is?"

"She went to the cemetery,"  he replied.

"And when is she coming home?"

"I don't really know,"  he said.  "She's been there eleven years now."