NOW, I have heard Everything? !!!!

[Judy Harder]

Ha HA...........thanks Carl.........

That is one I recieved last week and  I am so glad you shared.

A good one!

[Judy Harder]

This is just too funny not to share.
Excerpted from an article which appeared in The Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately... The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes
throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bite to eat.'

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'....

[Diane Amberg]

Oh yuk!!!

[flo]

exactly what I thought, Diane

[Teresa]

A school teacher from Livingston Parish, Louisiana sent this out.

This is a child's name!

"Le - a"

How would you pronounce this as a child's name???

Leah?? NO

Lee - A??  NOPE

Lay - a??  NO

Lei?? Guess Again.

Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??

Scroll down It's pronounced  "Ledasha" oh yes...you read it right. The dash is not silent.

This child attends a school in Livingston Parish. (Louisiana)

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent."

[Judy Harder]

A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his
friend is very well endowed.

"Damn John, you're hung!" Chuck exclaims.

"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it."

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked.

"Well, every day for the past two years I've spent an hour each night
rubbing it with butter.



I know it sounds crazy but it actually made it grow 4 inches!



You should try it."  Chuck agrees and the two say good bye.

A few months later the two are in the same locker room and John asks Chuck
how his situation was.

Chuck replied, "I did what you said, John, but I've actually gotten
smaller! I lost two inches already!"

"Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?"

"Well, I was out of butter, so I've been using Crisco."

"Crisco!!?" John exclaimed!! "Damn it, Chuck, Crisco is shortening!"

[Wilma]

So that's the difference between butter and shortening!

[frawin]

You girls are ornery