A Cowboy Named Bud

[Dee Gee]

   *A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW
advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. *
*  *
* The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
sunglassesand YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell
you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me
a calf?'  *
*    *
*Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?' *

*  *
* The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo. *
*  *
*The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany *
*  *
* Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. **  **He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry
and, after a few minutes, receives a response. *
*  *
*Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy  and says,
'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.' *
*  *
*'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.*
*  *
*He watches the young man select one of the animals and
looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  *
*    *
*Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?' *
*  *
*The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'
*
*  *
* 'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud. *
*    *
* 'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'  *
*  *
*  'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy.You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than
me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a *
*herd of sheep. . .*
*Now give me back my dog.*

[dnalexander]

Dee Gee this is a great story on its own. Also, it is a story that is 20 to 25 years old since I first heard it in another very similar form. The best part is that this version looks like a remodeled house if you look closely. There are specific details here that are from and only make sense from the 80's, 90, and now, but not all at one time today. Thanks for posting it this is funny in so many ways. A history lesson of the 80's to 2008.

David