You Know You're A Redneck When..........

[genealogynut]

1.  You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

2.  Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

3.  You burn your yard rather than mow it.

4.  You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

5.  The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

6.  You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

7.  You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8.  You come back from the dump with more than you took.

9.  Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

10.  You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

11.  You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

12.  You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

13.  You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

14.  You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean?

15.  You have a rag for a gas cap.

16.  You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

17.  You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

18.  You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

19.  You've used your irong board as a buffet table.

20.  A tornado hits your neighborhod and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

21.  You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

22. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

23.  Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

24.  Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

25.  You missed your 5th grade graduation because you wre on jury duty.

[bowie boy]

i thought of another one:
if you have ever been amused by a sheet of bubble wrap all week-end long

Pop! Pop! "O for goodness sakes Lois the the rest play with it awile!"

[genealogynut]

I wonder what it is about popping a sheet of bubble wrap that is so fascinating.  I know that I've been guilty of that a number of times. 

[Wilma]

I can't resist it either.

[indygal]

I was doing OK until I got to this one:

8.  You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Signed,
Indy aka Dumpster Diver

[Wilma]

Now that one is probably the most true of all.

[bowie boy]

you might also be a redneck-which i'm quilty of-if you have ever used this expression: "i'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park"!

[bowie boy]

when your richest realtive buys a house, and you have to help take the wheels off it!!

[Wilma]

There you go, Bowie Boy.  We don't millionaires in our families, do we?