Sadly, Obama will be making no more public speeches in Georgia...
He claims every time he gets up on stage to make a speech, some damn South Georgia cotton farmer starts bidding on him...
Quote from: Jo McDonald on March 17, 2010, 02:02:50 PM
Sadly, Obama will be making no more public speeches in Georgia...
He claims every time he gets up on stage to make a speech, some damn South Georgia cotton farmer starts bidding on him...
Oh yeah, that's appropriate >:( >:(
Oh noes! She wasn't politically correct!! ::)
(http://www.machzracing.com/pictures/RIPFreedom-1.jpg)
(http://www.machzracing.com/pictures/bushsfault.jpg)
Quote from: mtcookson on March 17, 2010, 04:57:04 PM
Oh noes! She wasn't politically correct!! ::)
(http://www.machzracing.com/pictures/RIPFreedom-1.jpg)
(http://www.machzracing.com/pictures/bushsfault.jpg)
Oh yes because racial jokes are wonderful, show you class why don't you...
jerry pull the stick out!!
Jo, I laugh my butt off, good one. ;D
Hey Jerry, if I told you I was an African-American, but I thought it was a funny joke---would that make me a racist ?
Varmit, spring must be here---I see the worms are crawling out from under the rocks !!! Them big ol Canadian night crawlers are the first to show.
Quote from: jarhead on March 17, 2010, 09:20:38 PM
--I see the worms are crawling out from under the rocks !!! Them big ol Canadian night crawlers are the first to show.
Yeah, they make good carp bait.
CARP ??? Is there a hidden, racist message there Sarge ??
Wow... show your maturity why don't you.
Who are you talking to, Jerry ?
Quote from: jerry wagner on March 17, 2010, 08:11:09 PM
Oh yes because racial jokes are wonderful, show you class why don't you...
If you can't make it a thing of the past and sit down and joke about it then you'll just keep it around longer. I don't think political correctness will fly with most of the people here, because its quite stupid, so I recommend you take it elsewhere.
You know, I've told and been told many racial jokes, against both whites and blacks and any other color, and I laugh. Am I racist? NOOOO! Your comments are what keeps racism alive.
and what about blonds :'(................
I mean.. people chase me down to tell me the latest stupid blond joke.. Do they not know that to insinuate my brain by my hair color is just cruel and mean and well.... racial.. and it.. :'( :'( :'( just crushes my self esteem. ;)
All kidding aside.. we have blacks in the shooting sports and they are the first one to crack jokes about what some say is "incorrect".. but they dish it out about us"white folk" too.. LOL
People need to quit trying to make everything and everybody a" goody 2 shoes correct in their eyes" place.. some just like to whine about something all the time.. and are not happy unless they are nitpicking everyone to death ..
Well said Mark.
And this old lady says, " If you can't stand the heat, stay the Hell out of the kitchen".
So There!!!
Teresa, not to add more to the pile of esteem crushing racial hair color pile,...but it is spelled B-L-O-N-D-E. :angel:
So, before you go off about the lateset stupid "blond" joke,...well, let me just say that Spellcheck is a wonderful thing ;D
Well Mr Smarty Pants............ :P
Allow this BLOND headed BLONDE to enlighten you a bit..
Blond - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Blond (see below) or fair-hair, is a hair color characterized by low levels of the dark pigment eumelanin. The resultant visible hue depends on various factors, but always has some sort of yellowish whiteish color. The color can be from the very pale blond (caused by a patchy, scarce distribution of pigment) to reddish "strawberry" blond colors or golden-brownish blond colors
Not to discount of course the other spelling.. Blonde..as it is correct also...but generally used when stereotyping..
Blonde stereotype - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
The blonde stereotype, the stereotype perception of blond-haired women, has two aspects. Over the history blond hair in women has been considered attractive and desirable. Also, a blond woman is often perceived as making little use of intelligence, a "woman who relied on her looks rather than on intelligence".[1]
The dumb blonde is a popular-culture derogatory stereotype [2] applied to portraying them as beautiful and sexy, and dumb.
Soooo my sweet Billy boy.... :-*.....I will say this to you about your comment.........
((((( Close your eyes and hold your ears Delbert~~))))).......(http://www.rightnation.us/forums/style_emoticons/default/00000506.gif)
Billy~~~~~~*Kiss my a**.......(http://www.rightnation.us/forums/style_emoticons/default/kissass.gif)
HA!! (http://www.rightnation.us/forums/style_emoticons/default/high5.gif) One point for me... ;D
So much for being allowed to have a different opinion. I guess if rude rules, so be it. Now I get to slam all of you and you can't say a thing back...is that how you want it to work? Tsk,Tsk.
??? ??? I'm confused...
But ........ I'm blondE~~ I guess that's the reason.. LOL
I had to laugh at this one...... ;D ;D
Obama's first low pass over Texas
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/political/txasobamajet.jpg) (http://s273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/political/?action=view¤t=txasobamajet.jpg)
—Usage note
The spelling blonde is still widely used for the noun that specifies a woman or girl with fair hair: The blonde with the baby in her arms is my anthropology professor. Some people object to this as an unnecessary distinction, preferring blond for all persons: My sister is thinking of becoming a blond for a while. As an adjective, the word is more usually spelled blond in reference to either sex (an energetic blond girl; two blond sons), although the form blonde is occasionally still used of a female: the blonde model and her escort. The spelling blond is almost always used for the adjective describing hair, complexion, etc.: His daughter has blond hair and hazel eyes. -dictionary.com
:-*
Quote from: Diane Amberg on March 24, 2010, 02:30:41 PM
So much for being allowed to have a different opinion. I guess if rude rules, so be it. Now I get to slam all of you and you can't say a thing back...is that how you want it to work? Tsk,Tsk.
What?? ???
OK you guys, here I am sitting in McAlister's doing the internet trying to behave normally. I was doing just fine untill I saw the picture of the airplane. Now I have tears rolling down my face and my hands over my face trying not to make to much noise.. Maybe they will just think I am senile....not to be offensive of course to anyone older.
The last four letters in American.........I Can
The last four letters in Republican.......I Can
The last four letters in Democrats........Rats
End of Lesson
Test to follow in November
The last four letters in Independent are......... dent....What we are doing to both Repubs and Demos....watch out, we are everywhere. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Two Arkansas mechanical engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.'
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the Government.
Jo, I will bet that one is a true one.
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/cartoons/FamilyPi11.jpg)
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/cartoons/file00022.jpg)
Don't laugh, that's one of the few photos we have of Osama Bin Laden.
Allus knowed he was a big A**! ;D
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! "I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers, I voted for Obama and now drive a Toyota.
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ..
Now give me back my dog
Now that's a good one! ;D ;D ;D
The New Airforce One. ;D
(http://i908.photobucket.com/albums/ac286/billyroe2004/____they_are_getting_the_plane_read.jpg)
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
:laugh:
Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2012!"
"Great, but how?" asked Harry.
"We'll go to Wal-Mart, get some cheesy clothes and shoes like most Middle Americans wear then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador. When we look the part, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Hardin, Montana. With the dog in tow they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"
"Yes we are," said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."
They ordered a round of bourbon and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A grizzled old farmer came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left looking puzzled.
Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"
"Lord no," said the bartender. "It's just that someone told them there was a Labrador in here with two a**holes!"
:laugh:
lol
Oh Judy, that was a good one! LOL
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Now thats funny.
It got so cold in Washington DC tonight; a Democrat was seen with his hands in his OWN pocket
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/political/idiotObama.jpg)
he he he!
I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 2011, 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...
The salesman (a man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options.. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your butt year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership... Darn guy had no sense of humor.
Ann Coulter has said that Democrat Liberalism/Progressivism is a mental disease......maybe she's on to something.
(http://d.yimg.com/a/p/ap/20110223/capt.a8a243b6f03c456cbb3894b9a0d16b14-a8a243b6f03c456cbb3894b9a0d16b14-0.jpg?x=320&y=240&q=85&sig=5fwOWZt6tEeYqWgR9Hnxjg--)
U.S. Rep. David Wu (D-Oregon)
Wu says he was hospitalized in 2008 for reaction to mental-health drug
Published: Sunday, February 27, 2011, 8:50 PM Updated: Monday, February 28, 2011, 8:40 AM
The Associated Press
Story link: http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2011/02/wu_sayshe_was_hospitalized_for.html (http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2011/02/wu_sayshe_was_hospitalized_for.html)
True story... got from a freind... :)
I was eating lunch last week with my 10 year old grandson when his mom
asked him "What is tomorrow?" He said "It's President's Day"
She asked "What does that mean?" .... I was waiting for something
profound...
He said "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he
sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."
I almost snorted my iced tea.
If pro is opposite of con, then what
is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Sign in Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Breaking News: CBC reports: Beginning in early 2011 gas stations will start
showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can watch someone else get screwed the same time that you do!!
;D ;D ;D
In the "immortal" words of Charlie Sheen all I can say to that is: I am happy to say, I am thankful that I have tiger blood. I am "winning", and I did it with millions of dollars less than Charlie. Also, I did it without two paid "pornstars", just one former lingerie model with red hair, that's now a VP for a big insurance company. OOPs, now I am starting to sound like Charlie. I think he means he is full of tiger piss. Where else, but the internet can we rant these most unimportant thoughts? :o
David
Quote from: sixdogsmom on March 07, 2011, 04:55:54 PM
Breaking News: CBC reports: Beginning in early 2011 gas stations will start
showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can watch someone else get screwed the same time that you do!!
;D ;D ;D
LMAO! That's funny right there!
*Latest News from Libya...*
نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر نمی دان
نور اگر رفت سایه. ر
رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر
نمی دان نور
اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش
دیوار و چشم
خیره ما
*If I hear anything else I will let you know.....*
Solution to the Egyptian Problem
They want a new Muslim leader, I say give them ours.
Solves two problems. :)
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/mime-attachment.jpg)
From: "Us Old Farts"
I'm over 50 now (well, well over) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year- olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.. Old guys get up early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.. I've been in combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old goats with attitudes.
wow.....good 'un.
Q: What do you get if you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
The Honeymoon is Over
You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
- Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
- Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
- Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
-Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
- David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink,
who would be saved?
A: America!
- Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
- Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the
Obama bumper stickers off the road. ;
- David Letterman
In church Sunday, I over heard the lady in the pew next to me saying a short private prayer. It was so sweet and sincere that I just had to share with you.
Dear Lord,
This has been a tough 12 months ... You have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett, my favorite musician Michael Jackson, my favorite salesman Billy Mays and my favorite athlete Steve McNair.
I just wanted you to know that my favorite president is Barrack Obama.
Amen!!
Hope it works. :angel:
Ahem, you might want to rethink that! :angel: ;D
OH the power of prayer! I'm gonna start praying that one everyday! ;)
No, you won't. ;D ;D ;D
Yep...Him and Jimmy Carter. I need a couple days off from work!
Better put Joe in there also
April 27, 2011
Obama Reveals Unsuccessful Run for President of Kenya
Disqualified by U.S. Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a stunning announcement that took even political insiders by surprise, President Barack Obama revealed today that he ran for President of Kenya in 2005 but was disqualified when a birth certificate surfaced showing he was born in the United States.
At a press conference at the White House, Mr. Obama spoke for the first time about his little-known unsuccessful foray into Kenyan politics: "Like every American boy or girl, I grew up with the dream of someday becoming President of Kenya."
Too late, they already chose. ;D
Hoo-ha-ha! ;D
Quote from: Jo McDonald on April 20, 2010, 08:11:56 PM
Two Arkansas mechanical engineers
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the Government.
I worked for those guys in the Navy Shipyard. ROFL
Quote from: Teresa on March 11, 2011, 09:41:17 PM
*Latest News from Libya...*
نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر نمی دان
نور اگر رفت سایه. ر
رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر
نمی دان نور
اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش
دیوار و چشم
خیره ما
*If I hear anything else I will let you know.....*
I jsut had to translate it on google, here is what it says:
Persian to English translation
If you can not find the light went shadow eyes staring at the wall and the role we do not don the role of other shade
If the light went shadow. R.
Shadow was not found and the role of eyes staring at the wall again our role in Shadow
Don not light
If not go find a shadow role
Wall-eye
We stared
WOW, you must have a fancy keyboard.
"If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you're not a racist, then you'll have
To vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you're not an idiot."
http://www.credoaction.com/comics/2011/04/218o/
(http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/img/photos/2011/04/05/change_you_can_step_in_t670.jpg?2663c383ae3146e1f47ef3bf52e57c5fcacce698)
I like it the saying.. I hate how it smells on my shoes.. LOL
The New American Prayer
Obama Is the shepherd I did not want. He leadeth me
Beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment
For his party's sake.
Yea, Though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has Anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
A famous interviewer, did a story on gender roles in Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.
The interviewer approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked the interviewer straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Moral of the story is: BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN
LOL :o ;D
Thats a good one.. LOL
I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new
Silverado 2011, 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test
drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...
As we took a test drive the salesman (a black man wearing an
Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing
the truck and all its "wonderful" options.. The seats were of
particular interest. He explained that the seats directed
warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air
to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I
mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I
explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke
up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership.... Damn guy had no sense of humor.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Dang it, Jo!!!!!!!!!!! I said I wasn't going to post in politics and then you go and put something like this in here. You know I am not going let this pass without laughing and thanking you for another good one.
Larryj
Two Minnesota mechanical engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing.
"Ve're supposed to find da height of da flagpole," said Sven, "but ve don't haff a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ole shook his head and laughed. "Ain't dat just like a voman! Ve ask for da height and she gives us da length!"
Sven and Ole are currently serving in the United States Senate!
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you
know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity
of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.
You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
P R I C E L E S S !
:laugh:
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49..09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."I am," replied the man. "How did you know?""Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
good one Teresa--I needed a grin today
Flying on Obama's Air Force One, Obuma looked at Oprah, chuckled and said,
'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make
somebody very happy.
Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy.
Michelle added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out of the window and make a hundred people very happy..
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot,
"Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of them out of the
window and make 256 million people very happy.'