"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. ... When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway." --Joe Biden, providing handy tips to protect against the swine flu and freaking us out, "Today Show" interview, April 30, 2009
Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=politicalhumor&cdn=entertainment&tm=355&gps=289_317_738_402&f=21&su=p504.3.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-biden1-2009may01%2C0%2C604907.story
"An hour late, oh give me a f**king break." –Joe Biden, caught on a live mic speaking to a former Senate colleague after arriving on Amtrak at Union Station in Washington, D.C., March 13, 2009
Watch video clip:
"You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don't. I'm actually embarrassed." –Joe Biden, speaking to an aide standing out of view during an interview on CBS' "Early Show," in the midst of encouraging viewers to visit a government-run Web site that tracks stimulus spending, Feb. 25, 2009
"If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong." --Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009
"Am I doing this again? For the senior staff? My memory is not as good as Chief Justice Roberts'." --Joe Biden, mocking Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts' botched effort to swear in Barack Obama as Biden was set to swear in White House senior staff one day after the Inauguration snafu, Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2009
"Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." –Joe Biden, mistakenly referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice president, Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009
Watch video clip:
"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." --Joe Biden, Athens, Ohio, Oct. 15, 2008
Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=politicalhumor&cdn=entertainment&tm=7&gps=28_1199_738_402&f=21&su=p504.3.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/10/oh-that-joe-n-6.html
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." –Joe Biden, apparently unaware that FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929 and that only experimental TV sets were in use at that time, interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 22, 2008
Watch video clip:
"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." --Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008
Source: http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/10/biden-musings-on-hillary-clinton/
"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!" --Joe Biden, at his first campaign rally with Barack Obama after being announced as his running mate, Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008
Watch video clip:
"A successful dump!" --Joe Biden, explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump) to the reporters outside his home, Wilmington, Del., Aug. 20, 2008
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." –Joe Biden, referring to Barack Obama at the beginning of the 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Jan. 31, 2007 Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=politicalhumor&cdn=entertainment&tm=29&gps=233_1809_738_402&f=21&su=p504.3.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//abcnews.go.com/Politics/Story%3Fid%3D2838420
"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden, in a private remark to an Indian-American man caught on C-SPAN, June, 2006 Watch video clip:
And my Favorite:"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." –-Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008
Watch video clip:
WARPH, what do you expect from Biden, the man barely got any votes for the Presidential primary. In fact he didn't get any apprecable number of votes in his own state. He is a Master at being rude and a real smarta***. I think Obama picked Biden because he is one of the few people that makes Obama look better.
What is really scary is that this man could become president!!!!!!!!!!
Larryj
Quit it Larry !! Just climbed out of my bunker and you sent me right back into it
Considering who and/or what is running the show around this country, you are better off in your bunker. Be sure to save room for me. We'll need at least three years supply of necessities such as beer, chips, dips, etc.
Larryj
Damn Larry, how big a bunker you think I got ?? aint enough room for dip !!! You will just have to suffer.
I'll match Our Joe's foot in mouth problems against Bush's any day. ;D In fact I should look up some and post 'em on here. You mean people are really setting yourself up for a huge back lash when the next Rebumlican takes over. :D ;D
Okay, Okay, Okay--------------dang! you would think a marine would have a big enough bunker for the dip. So Okay, no dip. I won't like it, but I can live with it.
And Diane, it isn't a matter of comparison of Bush and Biden. It's just all about Joe. He just doesn't have it to be in the position he is in. Bush may or may not have been any better or worse, but that is water under the bridge. That was the past, this is looking at our future.
Larryj
I'd rather he was still our Senator. He represented our little state well. Look more to what he does rather then how he says things.
There will be room for a dip, Jarhead will be there. ;) Love ya cuz!
I can make some of the best guacamole you ever put on a chip! And talk guns with you guys all night long.. and play cards... and shag beers for ya....( since I don't drink the stuff)
Just save me a place in the bunker.. Puuuleeease~~
Awwwwww.... come on, guys. You think y'all poor bunker-down types are having a problem with JarHeads bunker, feel some pity for poor ol' Hitler and his bunker.
Oh yeah.... and please pardon Hitler french as he's a little upset right now, seems to be talking like a Marine.... if you are 21 or older, check it out:
BTW JarHead... is your bunker kinda like this one. If it is, I'll bring the chips, since Teresa got the dip and Slappy and the guys will bring the beer:
Oh yeah, Jar, I forgot, R.A.M.B.O. going to need room for his surfboard and tanning bed.
(did guns call you a dip?)
Larryj
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Larry,
Yes Guns called me a "dip" but she is always letting her alligator mouth overload her canary arse. It's just in her blood lines to be that way
Yes WARPH my bunker will look alot like that Nazi bunker. Not at the moment but it will after it gets completed.Back hoes are digging right now. It was gonna be a simple affair until Teresa INVITED herself into my bunker---with her hot tub---and 4 poster king sized bed---and on & on & on . If that aint bad enough she wants to bring all her weapons----all 6,748 of them. I did draw a line in the sand and forbid her to bring her quad 50's mounted on a JEEP.
Larry go ahead and send R.A.M.B.O. because he is small and will be used to guard WARPH's golf clubs but I'm afrain buddy there will not be enough room for you-whoa there Hoss, I forgot you were a medic---we might need a medic. Yep, you are welcome but ol Slappy better find another place. Whoa, Slappy is bringing beer !! What am I to do ??
How in the world did this thread go so haywire.. hahaha
it makes me laugh... ;D
Joe makes me laugh... but you don't hear much from him anymore..... they keep the poor dumb shmuck locked in the basement of the Naval Observatory. You can't help shake your head and laugh..........until...you stop and realize that the ignorant clown is one heartbeat away from the Oval Office!! Then I stop laughing...........
Learned everything I know from my older Cuz! Not a bad blood line though.
Teresa,
Just trying to take your mind off of the fact that Joe Smoe is THAT one heart beat away from being your Prez. If that aint scary enough just think of who's in line after him. Yep, ol San Fran Nan. Gotta go dig the bunker 30 ft deeper !!!
Better make the walls thicker also. Don't forget the doggy door. Don't worry about Joe, he's got his own bunker.
Teresa gets to bring a hot tub? That's cool!!!!
Don't invite Guns, you don't need the insults, cuz or no cuz.
Well, okay, Guns can come. After all, family is family.
And, don't forget the pool table.
Larryj
pool table ??? What ? R.A.M.B.O. shoots pool ? No can do. He's just gonna have to learn how to play golf with WARPH, No doggy door either. Don't want that liberal Danny Devito sneaking into our bunker. I sent Guns an invite to the bunker but told her it was in Siberia. That's paybacks. Gonna invite her oldest sister though. Her husband is an Army Nam grunt. Maybe 3-4 years under ground waiting for fall-out to dissapate I can convince him the Marines rule. What was that you said ? you are gonna teach R.A.M.B.O. to bite me on the ankle !!! :)
Marines rule??...You know...one thing that has always confused me...why are the Marines always looking for a few good men and never women??...oh...wait...I forgot...don't ask don't tell.
hehehe..hahaha
Billy, son, you're nuttier that squirrel shit....
Actually, R.A.M.B.O. is more of a billiards player. As far as biting, he refrains from that unless someone is attacking me, then he gets a little ferocious. But, he tries not to bite as he has had all his teeth capped and doesn't want to break one.
You had better rethink the doggy door part. With his diet, it could get ripe in there unless you have automatic flush toilets. He doesn't mind using the toilet, but he is too short to reach the handlle.
And, what about Sarge? We could use the extra firepower. I am sure he would be glad to protect his country once again.
Larryj
Jarhead, I'm sorry but while I'm in Siberia I will be busy mining for more chrome diopside and will not have time to visit you and the others that are hid out in a bunker. Thank you for your kind thoughts anyway. Guns
Yeah, Guns, you go right ahead. I bet when the s-----tuff hits the fan, you will be "green" with envy because we have a bunker and you don't. Green------------------chrome diopside------------------------green, get it? -------- Oh, never mind.
Larryj
Have you guys been sniffing the sewer gasses again? Heavens! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Got it! I'll be so GREEN!
Good one Diane!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Well, in listening to me read this thread, R.A.M.B.O is getting a little excited about heading for the bunker. I tried to tell him it wasn't ready for him yet, but he is beginning to drool more than usual. He has started packing his bags. He is not taking his beach umbrella, sand chair, swim suit and his Oakley sunglasses. We will have to go shopping once we get there as SoCal stores don't have a big selection of cold weather clothes. He has also decided to leave the surfboard and hang glider as there won't be much use for them. He would like to bring his framed autographed poster of Joe Biden, if that is okay. Isn't that where this thread started? By the way, this particular poster is the one with Joe's foot in his mouth.
Maybe it is the sewer gasses. :laugh:
Larryj
Aha.... could this be JarHeads Bunker:
.... http://www.silohome.com/silohome_atlas_f_missile_base.htm
..... http://www.silohome.com/id22.htm
.....is this why R.A.M.B.O. iall excited to go (one way or another)
.....Is that Teresa's King Size Bed? And that jacuzzi, hmmm.... and does she really know how to belly dance?? Could this be "Party Central" that they talk about? And where's Kjell?
.....and JarHead said he didn't have any room... hmmmm... wonder what he's hiding? I know they say that Marines are very resourceful at getting what they want, but THIS? Tiger Woods the worlds greatest golfer could be hiding in shame in JarHead's bunker ever since the stories broke regarding Woods carrying on like Casanova. Strange that Tiger who used to avoid bunkers on the golf course is now hiding out in one. I'll bet you JarHead's got OTHERS hiding in his bunker, including Al Gore who is hiding because of his global warming predictions that are laughable during the current global freezing period.... or.... Maybe John Edwards... who's disappeared here of late. And there is V.P. Joe Biden who accidentally (on purpose) revealed classified information, namely the hiding place location of the vice-presidential secret bunker. Could Joe just say that... throwing everyone off track and he could actually be hiding out in JarHeads Bunker!?!
This is how it came off with Joe:
Biden revealed the top-secret, classified information during a luncheon at the D.C. Holiday Inn, which was in honor of The North American Retired Professional Hockey Players Club. The secret bunker is located inside the Coast Guard Observatory just below the main floor ladies restroom. The vice president also inadvertently even gave out the combination to the Master combination lock on the secret bunker's front door (right 17, left 23, right 4). Biden was the featured speaker. He stood up and said that the president wanted to be present but he had some pressing business. He was ironing Michelle's Sunday dress. He added that Hilary Clinton cancelled at the last minute because her and Bill had to deal with a little problem concering their daughter Chelsea. It seems that Chelsea told a Monica Lewinsky joke to one of her secret service agents and he took offense to it. Biden even took a little stab at the Senator John McCain of Arizona. He said that McCain had received "The 2010 National Geographic Award For The Most Noticeable Comb-Over." He then smiled, took a sip from his Singapore Sling and said that he and McCain actually have three things in common. One, they both have gray hair. Both are senators. And both agree that Sara Palin needs to never ever leave Alaska again...no matter what. Joe then grinned and said "And speaking of liquid, when it comes to quenching thirst Delaware Punch kicks Arizona Tea's butt everytime." Biden then turned his attention to the GOPrincess Ann Coulter. "Ann Coulter is so skinny she makes a pencil look Chubby." "Ann's mom said that when she was a child she was so mean she gave chicken pox to her pet chicken." "And speaking of pets, Ann once went to a petting zoo and went home crying because no one petted her." Biden then said that the man that Obama's administration dispises the most is Rush Limbaugh. The vice-president said that "Mush Mouth" Limbaugh makes Humpty Dumpty look anorexic. "Rush is so fat that where ever he goes his shadow gets there before him. "The man salts his food with bacon strips." "He takes pills with a milk shake." "'Lardbottom' Limbaugh makes Kirstie Alley look like Popeye's girlfriend Olive Oyl." "And twice within the past week Limbaugh was chased away from a Chinese All-You-Can-Eat Buffet." The restaurant owner hollered out, "You reave now fat boy, you eat too many food, you go get hell out my prace." In closing, the vice-president said that he heard that Columbia Pictures is considering remaking the Three Stooges movie, Snow White And The Three Stooges. He added that they hope to cast Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck. So much for Joe... he needs to be hiding out after this Luncheon
Hmmmm.... Could JarHead have lots more well known people who are in hiding-out at present? Is this why he wants sooooooo much Beer? Is this why he says he has very little room?? Hmmmm.... Lots to think about here... I wonder who will be hiding next..... Where's Hitler, Osama, Elvis... Is Michael Jackson really dead?? Does Teresa really belly dance?? Oh well, not to worry, R.A.M.B.O. will sniff 'em out. .....Slappy and the guys are going to need a huge Beer Truck to fill this place up. I wonder what JarHead's up to.... hmmmm....
Now you know perfectly well the combination to the Vice Presidential bunker door is wrong! There would be no right numbers, only left ones. left 17, left 23, left 4. ::)
Some claim this is another Biden gaffe, but its is really a statement of fact.
During the health care summit, Biden was picked up by a CSPAN microphone saying, "It's easy being Vice President. You don't have to do anything."
His acquaintance responded, "It's like being the grandpa and not the parent."
"Yeh, that's it," Biden replied.
So true, but that is the way the Founding Fathers wrote it in the Constitution. The real gaffe is that Biden's handlers responded to criticism by saying that he was joking. They listed speeches he has given and plans to give and a planned trip to Iraq. Poor guy. He needs time for some rest.
For most of this country's history the Vice-Presidency has been seen as a ticket to obscurity. Ironically, the man responsible for turning the Vice-Presidency into something was FDR's veep John Nance Garner who made the famous comment, "The vice presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm spit."
No gaffe this time. Biden merely showed everyone his own pitcher.
WARPH,
I'm back. Feeling like a VC at the tunnels of Cu Chi. Been under ground digging and digging. Just want you to know no Tigers, Moe-Joe or cousin John Edwards in my bunker. I have stocked it with 18,645 lbs of hickory smoked deer jerky------BUT---because of Varmits comment about my beloved Corps and the don't ask, don't tell policy, ol Billy will no longer be taking up residence in OUR bunker and if he tries to weasle in he will face the wrath of R.A.M.B.O.. R.A.M.B.O is a killer when it comes to protecting his stockpile of jerky. Now Billy take that vile thing back or I will go dig more ruts in the county roads until the folks of Elk county tar & feather you and run you out of town.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HE SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU DON'T WANNA MESS WITH R.A.M.B.O.'S FOOD SUPPLY-----------IT JUST AIN'T A HEALTHY THING TO DO. THE NEXT DOOR CAT TRIED TO SNIFF HIS FOOD ON THE PATIO DURING HIS MASSAGE/SUNBATHING SESSION AND IS NOW KNOWN AS "FURLESS THE FELINE". HE AIN'T BEEN SEEN LATELY EITHER.
YOU'D BEST STRAIGHTEN UP, VARMINT, AND START MAKING NICE TO MR. JARHEAD, CUZ COME THE DAY WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BUNKER, YOU'RE GONNA WANNA PLACE TO HIDE!
Larryj
OK...OK...Jarhead you're right. Besides my mother raised me to be respectful then that. I take back my comment about the ladi, um I mean the Maryines...it was a very insensitive thing to say and I am sorry if I hurt their feelings. And just to show how much of a nice guy I can be, on the day of the Grand opening of the bunker I'll play the song "Its raining Men" in their honor. ;D
Tell rainbow, uh I mean R.A.M.B.O not to worry about running out of jerky. In the event of that happening I have a really good Korean recipie that he would be interested in.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Let me say that again----------
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Varmint, you might have to go into hiding now. My momma always told me that there are two people you don't want to upset------------------------------------------------------women and Marines.
And, as far as Korean recipes, that would be a no-no. R.A.M.B.O. cannot stand the smell of kimchi or the smell of anyone who has eaten it in the last, say, hundred years. And, he has heard (and I won't tell him that I know this for a fact) that some of his distant relatives have wound up as the main course on some dinner tables in Korea.
Jarhead, let me say that I am embarrassed by Varmint's comments, him being a soldier and all. We should all stick together.
LOL
Larryj
ok ok ok.....fine...jeeeze....I'll stop. I'm sorry if I offended the marines delicate sensibilities. I was just kidding around. I didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings...hold on, I'll see if my wife has a hanky he can use. ;D
Oh, and remind RAMBO of that ol' korean sayin' "I no meet dog I no like" ;)
#1-----That's R.A.M.B.O. with an emphasis on punctuation marks after each letter in his name.
#2-----Marines don't use hankys, just your sleeve while they are dismantling your head from your body.
#3-----And-------NO! I won't remind R.A.M.B.O. of that offensive Korean saying as this is a family get-together day with my wife's cousin from Chicago who loves R.A.M.B.O. and I need him to be in a good mood.
Larryj
Jarhead, you're a little slow building the bunker. I'm back from Siberia and have my chrome diopside on my hand, so where are ou sending me next? I'm sure I can turn it into a positive also. BTW my arse is getting so big, it is a little harder to overload it than it once was. :P ;D ;D
;D ;D..............