(This was forwarded to me, and I am just passing it on.)
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Friday's.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.........but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "in the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?"...........The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these???
I think I did hear him say all that.
Yeah, I got a big shock a few years ago, when I was researching one family line........there is a very distant connection to him. We always liked his little "Gertrude and Heathcliff" scenes.