Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once
again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter - and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Cash/tration: The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignor/anus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3. Intax/ication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
that it was your money to start with.
4. Rein/tarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bo/zone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6. Fore/ploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraff/iti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sar/chasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.
9. Inocu/latte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hip/atitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteo/pornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and
then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Deca/falon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.
14. Gli/bido: All talk and no action. (My Favorite)
15. Dope/ler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachno/leptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelze/bug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Cater/pallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.