Currently floating around the Internet, and in several e-mails to me:
You are 100% Kansan if:
1. You can properly pronounce Neodesha.
2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
10. You measure distance in minutes. ("I'm about 5 minutes away.")
11. You refer to the capital of Kansas as "The City."
12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.
13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined! to be the most polite and let the other go first.
20. You know in which state "Miam-uh" is and in which state "Miam-ee" is.
21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.
24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your friends.
Not to mention that Kansans are the only people in the Union who pronounce the name of the Arkansas River correctely.
28. if everbody you are related to, lives outside the state of kansas.