No Nursing Home For Us!!!

[Warph]

Now, I have this figured out.  There will be no nursing  home for us.... uh,uh.. We are checking into the Holiday  Inn!

With the  average cost for a nursing home care costing  $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and  feeble.

We have  already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.  For a  combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's  $49.23 per night.  That leaves $138.77 a day  for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we  want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV  movies.  Plus, they provide a spa, some a 9-hole golf course - no greens fees, swimming pool, a workout  room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc ...  Most  have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Five dollars... that's $5.00... worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling  to help you.  They treat you like a customer, not a  patient.  There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors  ride free.  The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).  To meet  other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays or a synagogue ride on Saturdays.

For a  change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at  one of the nice restaurants there.  While you're  at  the airport, fly somewhere.  Otherwise, the cash  keeps building up.  It takes  months to get into decent nursing homes.  Holiday Inn will  take your reservation today.  And you are not stuck  in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.  Want to see Hawaii?  They have a Holiday Inn there, too.  TV  broken?  Light bulbs need changing?  Need a mattress replaced?  No problem.  They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Holiday Inn has a night security person and daily room service.  The maid checks to see if you are ok.  If not, they will  call the undertaker or an ambulance.  If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of  your life.  And no  worries about visits from family. They will always be glad  to find you, and probably check in for a few days  mini-vacation.  The  grandkids can use the pool. 

Now.... what more  can you ask for?

So, when  we reach that golden age, We'll face it with a grin.

Just  forward all our  mail  to the:  HOLIDAY INN!

[larryJ]

Sounds great!!!!  But, who will answer your call for help in the middle of the night?   Who will be able to administer your medications?  Do they have handicap rooms?  Just kidding!!!   loved the post, though.

Larryj