About Those Panty Scanners

[Warph]

OK, this goofy guy gets on an airplane with an at least somewhat explosive jockstrap and the entire earth goes wacko and orders porn-scanners and everyone has to watch Obama being Leaderly for hours. He is becoming tiresome to watch. A mahogany president with large white teeth. He looks like a damn piano. Blacks have achieved racial equality. They can produce presidents as bad as the white ones.

What suckers we gringos are. How wonderfully amusing all of this must be for Al Quaeda. So little effort is needed to manipulate the decreasingly Great Satan into doing all manner of comic and expensive things.

For terrorists, the return on investment in phenomenal. They drop those office buildings in New York for not much money, and the US undertakes a war against Islam on which it spends a trillion dollars. Yes, Bush and Cheney and Israel wanted to invade Iraq anyway, but New York made it inevitable. Slick: Bush II couldn't not invade some Moslem country. Leave your enemy with no choice but to do what you want him to do.

So little is necessary to terrorize the world's hyperpower. A free-lance dingaling secretes a bomb of sorts in his shoe, whereupon the US goes into convulsions and long lines of Americans stand comically barefoot in airports. Dingaling Two popularizes liquid explosives, and so Washington frenziedly confiscates toothpaste. Yes, the world's hyperpower is afraid of Colgate, with fluoride. Dinglaling Three hides the infernal machine in his skivvies, so Obama makes Firm Pronouncements, and we will now have to undergo examination by panty scanners. Always, over and over, the terrorists have the iniative. The country reacts hugely and predictably.

Won't the panty scanners be wonderful? Now some affirmative-action federal retard can look at nekkid women all day. (Actually, as a guy, I can see the appeal. And, potentially, all else.)

Of course taking security pubic has its charms, and not just for the TSA guys who get to look at all those unwrapped cuties. Companies in the electronics racket are going to make out like Wall Street looters. How much does a panty-scanner cost? Multiply it by the number of security gates, and someone is going to swim in gravy. Throw in training contracts, maintenance, and upgrades. The federal teat remains a bounteous spigot.

How much does this have to do with security? Not much. On the evidence, TSA couldn't stop a two-year-old from waddling across a living room. Note that both the Underwear Bomber and the Foot Bomber were stopped by passengers, after TSA let them board. The current bomber's father told the US government about the guy, just as various sources warned of the New York attack. The feds can't stop terrorism even when someone else does their homework for them. And a few weeks ago TSA managed to post its very secret screening manual on the web. It's good to have security in the hands of experts.....Fred

[Roma Jean Turner]

HOLY S%#*  the panty scanners are for real?