Political humor

[Patriot]

[Teresa]

I like it the saying.. I hate how it smells on my shoes.. LOL

[Warph]

The New American Prayer


Obama Is the shepherd I did not want.  He leadeth me
Beside the still factories.

He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment
For his party's sake.

Yea, Though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.

He has Anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.

Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.

[farmgal67357]

A famous interviewer, did a story on gender roles in Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

The interviewer approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked the interviewer straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."


Moral of the story is: BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN

[Catwoman]

LOL   

[Teresa]

Thats a good one.. LOL

[Jo McDonald]

I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new
Silverado 2011, 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test
drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...

As we took a test drive the salesman (a black man wearing an
Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing
the truck and all its "wonderful" options.. The seats were of
particular interest. He explained that the seats directed
warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air
to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I
mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I
explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke
up your ass year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership.... Damn guy had no sense of humor.

[larryJ]

 

Dang it, Jo!!!!!!!!!!!  I said I wasn't going to post in politics and then you go and put something like this in here.  You know I am not going let this pass without laughing and thanking you for another good one.

Larryj

[Teresa]

Two Minnesota mechanical engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing.
 
"Ve're supposed to find da height of da flagpole," said Sven, "but ve don't haff a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Ole shook his head and laughed. "Ain't dat just like a voman! Ve ask for da height and she gives us da length!"

Sven and Ole are currently serving in the United States Senate!

[Judy Harder]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you
know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are,  due to a large quantity
of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.

You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."



P R I C E L E S S !