Joe Biden - Gaffe Machine

[Varmit]

Marines rule??...You know...one thing that has always confused me...why are the Marines always looking for a few good men and never women??...oh...wait...I forgot...don't ask don't tell.




hehehe..hahaha

[kshillbillys]

Billy, son, you're nuttier that squirrel shit....

[larryJ]

Actually, R.A.M.B.O. is more of a billiards player.  As far as biting, he refrains from that unless someone is attacking me, then he gets a little ferocious.  But, he tries not to bite as he has had all his teeth capped and doesn't want to break one. 

You had better rethink the doggy door part.  With his diet, it could get ripe in there unless you have automatic flush toilets.  He doesn't mind using the toilet, but he is too short to reach the handlle.

And, what about Sarge?  We could use the extra firepower.  I am sure he would be glad to protect his country once again.

Larryj

[greatguns]

Jarhead, I'm sorry but while I'm in Siberia I will be busy mining for more chrome diopside and will not have time to visit you and the others that are hid out in a bunker.  Thank you for your kind thoughts anyway.  Guns

[larryJ]

Yeah, Guns, you go right ahead.  I bet when the s-----tuff hits the fan, you will be "green" with envy because we have a bunker and you don't.  Green------------------chrome diopside------------------------green, get it?  --------  Oh, never mind.

Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

Have you guys been sniffing the sewer gasses again? Heavens!

[greatguns]

Got it!  I'll be so GREEN!

[Roma Jean Turner]

Good one Diane!!

[larryJ]

Well, in listening to me read this thread, R.A.M.B.O is getting a little excited about heading for the bunker.  I tried to tell him it wasn't ready for him yet, but he is beginning to drool more than usual.  He has started packing his bags.  He is not taking his beach umbrella, sand chair, swim suit and his Oakley sunglasses.  We will have to go shopping once we get there as SoCal stores don't have a big selection of cold weather clothes.  He has also decided to leave the surfboard and hang glider as there won't be much use for them.  He would like to bring his framed autographed poster of Joe Biden, if that is okay.  Isn't that where this thread started?  By the way, this particular poster is the one with Joe's foot in his mouth.

Maybe it is the sewer gasses.   

Larryj

[Warph]

Aha.... could this be JarHeads Bunker:
.... http://www.silohome.com/silohome_atlas_f_missile_base.htm
..... http://www.silohome.com/id22.htm

.....is this why R.A.M.B.O. iall excited to go (one way or another)
.....Is that Teresa's King Size Bed?  And that jacuzzi, hmmm.... and does she really know how to belly dance??  Could this be "Party Central" that they talk about?  And where's Kjell?
.....and JarHead said he didn't have any room... hmmmm... wonder what he's hiding?  I know they say that Marines are very resourceful at getting what they want, but THIS?  Tiger Woods the worlds greatest golfer could be hiding in shame in JarHead's bunker ever since the stories broke regarding Woods carrying on like Casanova.  Strange that Tiger who used to avoid bunkers on the golf course is now hiding out in one.  I'll bet you JarHead's got OTHERS hiding in his bunker, including Al Gore who is hiding because of his global warming predictions that are laughable during the current global freezing period.... or.... Maybe John Edwards... who's disappeared here of late.  And there is V.P. Joe Biden who accidentally (on purpose) revealed classified information, namely the hiding place location of the vice-presidential secret bunker.  Could Joe just say that... throwing everyone off track and he could actually be hiding out in JarHeads Bunker!?!  

This is how it came off with Joe: 
Biden revealed the top-secret, classified information during a luncheon at the D.C. Holiday Inn, which was in honor of The North American Retired Professional Hockey Players Club.  The secret bunker is located inside the Coast Guard Observatory just below the main floor ladies restroom.  The vice president also inadvertently even gave out the combination to the Master combination lock on the secret bunker's front door (right 17, left 23, right 4).  Biden was the featured speaker.  He stood up and said that the president wanted to be present but he had some pressing business.  He was ironing Michelle's Sunday dress.  He added that Hilary Clinton cancelled at the last minute because her and Bill had to deal with a little problem concering their daughter Chelsea.  It seems that Chelsea told a Monica Lewinsky joke to one of her secret service agents and he took offense to it.  Biden even took a little stab at the Senator John McCain of Arizona.  He said that McCain had received "The 2010 National Geographic Award For The Most Noticeable Comb-Over."  He then smiled, took a sip from his Singapore Sling and said that he and McCain actually have three things in common.  One, they both have gray hair.  Both are senators.  And both agree that Sara Palin needs to never ever leave Alaska again...no matter what.  Joe then grinned and said "And speaking of liquid, when it comes to quenching thirst Delaware Punch kicks Arizona Tea's butt everytime."  Biden then turned his attention to the GOPrincess Ann Coulter.  "Ann Coulter is so skinny she makes a pencil look Chubby." "Ann's mom said that when she was a child she was so mean she gave chicken pox to her pet chicken."  "And speaking of pets, Ann once went to a petting zoo and went home crying because no one petted her."  Biden then said that the man that Obama's administration dispises the most is Rush Limbaugh.  The vice-president said that "Mush Mouth" Limbaugh makes Humpty Dumpty look anorexic.  "Rush is so fat that where ever he goes his shadow gets there before him.  "The man salts his food with bacon strips."  "He takes pills with a milk shake."  "'Lardbottom' Limbaugh makes Kirstie Alley look like Popeye's girlfriend Olive Oyl."  "And twice within the past week Limbaugh was chased away from a Chinese All-You-Can-Eat Buffet."  The restaurant owner hollered out, "You reave now fat boy, you eat too many food, you go get hell out my prace."  In closing, the vice-president said that he heard that Columbia Pictures is considering remaking the Three Stooges movie, Snow White And The Three Stooges.  He added that they hope to cast Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck.  So much for Joe... he needs to be hiding out after this Luncheon

Hmmmm.... Could JarHead have lots more well known people who are in hiding-out at present?  Is this why he wants sooooooo much Beer?  Is this why he says he has very little room??  Hmmmm.... Lots to think about here...  I wonder who will be hiding next.....  Where's Hitler, Osama, Elvis...  Is Michael Jackson really dead??  Does Teresa really belly dance??  Oh well, not to worry, R.A.M.B.O. will sniff 'em out.  .....Slappy and the guys are going to need a huge Beer Truck to fill this place up.  I wonder what JarHead's up to.... hmmmm....