For the Word People

[Judy Harder]

1. The  roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He  acquired his size from too much pi.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to  be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved  her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from  algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope,  it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a  tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the  hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting  bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center  said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from  prison was a small medium at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper  spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes  inverse.

18. In a  democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that  votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris ,  you'd be in Seine .

[Diane Amberg]

I love this kind of humor! Thanks!