just for FUN in this troubled world!

[Judy Harder]

Home safe at last !  .... been around, but worth the re-read, just for FUN in this troubled world ......

David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK ! I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo! Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror ! Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found !

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"but all I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake !" I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK ! My grandfather does stuff like this all the time!"

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.... And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast !

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home !

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.

The people who are starting college this fall  were born in 1991.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable..
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been microwaved.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They don't know who Mork was or Mindy or where they was from..
They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Notice the larger type?

That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S.  Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
`

[Teresa]

[larryJ]

I am sure that there are those of us who can remember their first "senior discount."  Mine occcurred at a local hardware store near my house.  The cashier who was a very nice lady and older than me was ringing up my sale and asked me--"do you want your senior discount?"  I had seen this cashier many times, but our conversations were limited to "hi, how are you," or "it is really a nice day out there."  When she asked me about the senior discount, I was shocked as I was in my late 40's.  I indignantly said no and went home and related this to my wife.  She looked at me in disbelief which I took as she was also shocked by such a statement, but, no, she was in disbelief that I said no.

Larryj

[sixdogsmom]

Larry, you are not only blessed with a thrifty spouse, but are fortunate enough not to be mistaken for a feather headed forty year old! 

[larryJ]

First, Judy, thanks for the post.  I love good jokes and this was one of the best.

Yes, SDM, I am truly blessed.  There have been many times over the years that she has "set me straight" or "shown me the  correct path to follow."  Often when I was in a state of confusion, she has made me "see the light."  There were times when I rejected her sound advice and got the "I told you so" speech, many times, in fact.  There were times when I wanted to "show her who was the boss" and then found out who the boss really was.  As I grow older with her, I have learned the lessons well and now when she is not so sure of herself, I can apply those lessons to help her.  She has not only guided me through my life, but raised two children to adulthood who are good, self-supporting people with sound choices in their own mates, and one has given us two grandchildren whom I absolutely adore, and she raised these children pretty much on her own as I worked nights and weekends to support our family. 

Blessed?  Yes, very much so.  All men should have this blessing. 

Larryj

[Judy Harder]

How beautiful LarryJ............I am so happy there is a man who  can
and will tell us how good he has it.

I am sure your wife is just as happy as you are.

What a positive posting.

God bless you both.

[Ms Bear]

Sounds like a lot of respect for each other, so glad you both have someone you respect and love.  I think that is still the two most basic values to build a marriage on.  I also believe it is the hard times that get a couple through the good times.

[larryJ]

Thanks to both of you for your comments.  I think that the trust and respect comes with age.  It wasn't there in the early years.  When I retired four years ago, I took on more of the household duties as she was working full time and I actually had no excuse not to do something around here.  Both of us have had health setbacks in the last year and when that happens, you know that the other one is going to be there for you if they can.  The vows that we recited in a JP court were said just to get the ceremony over with so we could get on with our lives.  Now, those very same vows become more and more important like the "sickness and health" and the "til death do us part", etc.  As I mentioned, we see our granddaughters and love them very much, in fact, one is asleep on my couch next to me.  She had a busy day at school (half day) and played with the neighbors kids at a park. 

I gotta stop this, I am becoming too sappy.  Who used sappy somewhere else?  Oh yeah, Mom70x7.  Anyway, for you young'uns, a word of advice.  Each time we have a family gathering, that is, when my son and daughter and their spouses and the kids get together, we generally have a toast to give thanks for our family.  I always make the toast and although they may be tired of the same old thing, I always stress that family is everything.  When all else fails, there is family. Just remember this when you might be a little unhappy with one of your relatives, because you may need that person sometime somewhere.

Enough!!!!!!!!!!  Shut up.

Larryj

[frawin]

Larry, my wife and I both always end our phone conversations with our kids and our Grandkids with an 'I Love You" and they say the same to us. Also I always end my phone conversations with my sisters with an "I Love you" and the respond the same way. Last year I lost 3 sisters and I was  with all 3 of them just before thay passed away and their last words to me were I Love You.

[larryJ]

We are the same.  Every night at bedtime we say I love you.  It used a be just a habit, but now it seems to have more meaning.  Our granddaughter who is 4 is told that we love her each time she gets ready to go home and she usually responds in kind and if she is not grouchy from waking up from a nap we might even get a kiss.  Not tonight unfortunately!!!

I have lost two brothers.  We knew that we were family and "love" comes from that.  Being "real men" we never had to say it.  But, the love was there nonetheless.

Larryj