What Are You Doing For Excitement Today?

[Diane Amberg]

Sorry Jar, I certainly wouldn't want to insult you with my 41 years of knowledge and experience.  Suffer all you want. Never mind.

[larryJ]

Much better--------------you people are great.  As for Jarhead, that poison ivy musta got in his brain, making up stories like that.  The only reason he won't tell the rest of the story is cuz there ain't no "rest of the story".  Or, what was it I saw the other day about holding in gas and it going up the spine into the brain and that is where the crappy ideas come from?

Sarge, you best stay the heck away from Jarhead, he's contaminated.  

Jarhead, there ain't enough lotion in the whole wide world to cover your tummy so you gonna hafta suffer.

Thank you, my forum friends---you all mean the world to me.

Larryj

[Jo McDonald]

Hey Jar -- DON'T ---I repeat  DON'T waste any of you wine swabbing the itchy itchies --- Just tough it out, it will dry up and go away before too long.  Stay strong, little buddy, we'll all be thinking of ya'.

[jarhead]

Damn Diane, lighten up---that was meant as a joke and for you Larry---there is "the rest of the story' but you done went and insulted me so I aint telling you either. i hope R.A.M.B.O. bites you on the big toe while you're sleeping. Tomorrow I'm going to the water plant and tell ol Sarge the whole story---it's such a long story his ears will be bleeding by the time I'm done with it.

[greatguns]

Jarhead, just scratch it until it bleeds then pour gasoline on it and it will cure what ails you.  Well, that will cure the posion ivy.

[frawin]

Larry,
I would like to help Wilma out but her problem is nothing like the one I developed today. I have poison Ivy all over my plump little tummy and if you knew me you would know THAT'S A LOT OF POISON IVY !!!
MEDIC-------MEDIC UP !!!!

JARHEAD, I can go to the local Walmart parking lot and find some unemployed women that would hire out to scratch your tummy.

[Diane Amberg]

Hey Jar, I was just joking too. Ya' all whack at me so often I was just poking at ya 'cuz I could.  It's probably too late to dry it up with rubbing alcohol. That's a large area. Try not to itch at it too much,.If it gets too oozy and troublesome a cortisone shot should clear it right up. But you tough guys out there probably wouldn't do that.

[Ms Bear]

Jarhead, try taking a couple of Benadryl to help stop the itch and then put some Caladryl on it and that will help dry it up.  Hope you get it cleared up quick.

I agree with Jo, don't waste the homemade wine on it.

[jarhead]

Against the advice of Doctor Jo I used the wine. They say elderberry wine is good for you and now I'm a believer. I drank four and a half fifths of it last night before I passed out---I mean went to sleep, and not once do I remember itching the Ivy during the night !!!!
I did use some Zenfel, which usually knocks the crap out of poison ivy in seconds but didn't work this time. I'm starting to think it's not ivy at all. A couple days ago cleaned my work shop, (also known as the spider house ) Killed two brown spiders crawling on me and now I think a couple of brown recluses had a relay race up and down my rock hard, wash board , tummy.
Diane, what's with the ' it's a large area"? Ol Sarge been talking behind my back and telling you that I'm pleasingly plump ? ?? No I aint tuff enough to take a cortisone shot. Sarge said they give that shot with a square needle---in the left testicle----and Ol Sarge has never lied to me about anything !!!!

[Wilma]

I hope my excitement is over for the day.  I have toilets again.  Our local plumber was just here and had it cleaned out in no time.  I don't know yet what is cost me, but it is worth every cent of whatever he charges.

Jarhead, if you really think it is spider bite, get to the doctor.  And I am not kidding you about that.