Now that Capitalism is Dead.....

[Warph]

......Welcome now to the United Fascist States Of America!!


U.S. Capitalism, age 232, passed away Monday morning, June 1, 2009, in Detroit, Michigan.  Capitalism devoted her entire life to enriching the lives of Americans from all walks of life, and her positive effects were felt all around the world.  Her passing is currently mourned by all who knew and loved her.  When the effects of her passing are complete, her passing will be mourned by everyone, even by her enemies and harshest critics.
               
U.S. Capitalism was born on July 4th, 1776 to Liberty, Industriousness, Limited Government, Private Property, and Religious Freedom.  Her life began on the Atlantic coast, but she eventually travelled west across the entire country, residing in all 50 states and Washington D.C.  She had survived several previous bouts with government intervention and an activist judicial branch, and had been brought back to health on each occasion by American ingenuity and occasional tax cuts.
               
The illness that caused her death was precipitated by the federal government's legislative and regulatory intrusion into the banking and housing markets, which forced banks and other financial institutions into making bad loans to unqualified debtors.  The effects of those bad loans, combined with mismanagement by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, began a death spiral from which Capitalism would not recover.
               
Her life ended when the federal government acquired ownership and control of the General Motors Corporation.
               
Preceded in death by Federalism, Checks and Balances, Wisdom, the U.S.Constitution, and Individual Liberty, U.S. Capitalism is survived by NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and the Associated Press.
               
The friends of U.S. Capitalism wish to thank George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Ronald Reagan, the United States military, and hard-working Americans of all generations for their nurture and encouragement of U.S. Capitalism during her long life.
               
In lieu of flowers, the friends of U.S. Capitalism respectfully request that donations of time, money, and votes be made to defeat all of the Democratic forces that led to the death of Capitalism