FUNNY OR NOT HERE I COME

[Judy Harder]

 
   
TURPENTINE –VS-  HOLY WATER

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the  bubbles. 
A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.
The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, its called turpentine.."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water.  If you take some of this Holy Water
and rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."

The little boy replied, "You take some of this turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson."
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[indygal]

This cracked me up!

[Ms Bear]

Wonderful.  And thanks for the laugh I really needed.  Someone stole my new riding lawnmower today while I was at work.  Amazingly the County Deputy Sheriff was here about 5 minutes after I finally convinced the Dispatcher that I live in the county and not the city.  By 19 feet.  Hasn't been a good evening.

[patyrn]

So sorry about your problems today--that is despicable that people will stoop so low.  Stay thinking POSITIVE, like has been discussed on another thread.  May tomorrow be a brighter day for you!!!

[Ms Bear]

I am sure it will be.  Have to have someone come and help me secure some other things.  Lucky that the lawnmower was all they took and they didn't break any windows or any other damage.  Big bad dog probably hid under the house and watched them.

[Judy Harder]

Subject:  HOUSE WORK

Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.  Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that........Ralph was too tired.'

God is good
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