another slice of wry

[larryJ]

Today's----------------------------AHA!

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer replies, "In the region on $325,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.

The interviewer looked at him momentarily, leaned forward and said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical, dental, vision and hearing, company matching retirement fund to 75 percent of salary, and a company car leased every two years -- say, a Corvette, your choice of color?"

The engineer sat up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding me?"

And the interviewer replies, "Well, yeah, but you started it."

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In 1792, the New York Stock Exchange had it origins as a group of brokers met under a tree on Wall Street.

In 1954, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down racially segregated public schools in its Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka decision.

In 1973,  the Senate began its televised hearings into the Watergate scandal.

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Today---------Actor-Director Dennis Hopper is 74 and Singer Taj Mahal is 68.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's------------------------------------------------


Rest in peace, Fred McDonald, rest in peace.

And

In Memoriam--------my brother, Harry K. Jordan was born on this day in 1934 and left us on August 17, 1995.
Grandson of Albert and Edith Andrews of Howard, Kansas.

Believe that those who pass on are not just leaving us, but are going on to pave the way for the rest of us.

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's---------------------I remember those days.

On my way home the other day, I stopped to watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home.

As I sat down behind the bench on the first base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a broad smile.

"Really,"  I said.  "I have to say you don't look very upset or discouraged."

"Discouraged?  Upset?" the boy said with a puzzled look on his face.  "Why should we be?  We haven't been up to bat yet."

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In 1921, Congress passed and President Warren G. Harding signed, the Emergency Quota Act, which established national quotas for immigrants.

In 1962, during a Democratic fundraiser at New York's Madison Square Garden, actress Marilyn Monroe sang, "Happy Birthday to You" to guest-of-honor President John F. Kennedy.

In 1994, former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis died in New York at age 64.

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Today--------TV personality David Hartman is 75, Actor James Fox is 71, Actress Nancy Kwan is 71, Author-director Nora Ephron is 69, Actor Peter Mayhew is 66, Rock Singer-composer Pete Townsend (The Who) is 65 and PBS Newscaster Jim Lehrer is 76.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------that makes all the difference

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border.  Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations.

Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her 90th birthday, lived on the farm with her son, his wife and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter.  "I just got some news, Mom." he said.  "The Canadian government has come to an agreement with the officials in Washington. It's been decided that our land is really part of the United States, and we have the right to approve or disapprove of this decision.  What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his mother said.  "I'll tell you what I think  ---  jump at it!  Call whoever you need to call right now and tell them we accept!"

"....................I don't think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!"

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In 1939, regular trans-Atlantic mail service began as a Pan American Airways plane, the Yankee Clipper, took off from Port Washington, NY., bound for Marseille, France.

In 1961, a white mob attacked a busload of Freedom Riders in Montgomery, Alabama, prompting the federal government to send in U.S. marshals to restore order.

In 1969, U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Ap Bia Mountain, referred to as "Hamburger Hill" by the Americans, following one of the bloodiest battles of the Vietnam War.

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Today----------------Actor-Author James McEachin is 80, Actor Anthony Zerbe is 74, Actor David Proval is 68, Singer Joe Cocker is 66, Singer-Actress Cher is 64 and Actor-comedian Dave Thomas is 61.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------------Let's see, should I wear the pink shirt or the blue shirt?

Things you will never hear in a western movie:

1.  "Guns?  We don't need no stinkin' guns!"

2.  "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3.  "Uh-oh, they're gonna attack........quick, pull the wagon into an irregular dodecagon!"

4.  "Let's see...........hardtack and pemmican...........that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein and two starches."

5.  "Hang him high, boys!  Good, good......OK, now a little to the left.......Ohhh!  Ahhh! Stop right there.  Perfect!"

6.  "Y'know, Brucie.........a roaring campfire, just you 'n' me, nice prairie breeze, ...........what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

7.  "Barkeep!"  I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."

8.  "Pete, you and Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

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In 1832, the first Democratic National Convention got under way, in Baltimore.

In 1881, Clara Barton founded the American Red Cross.

In 1932, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean as she landed in Northern Ireland, about 15 hours after leaving Newfoundland.

In 1956, the United States exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb over Bikini Atoll in the Pacific.

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Today-----Rhythm-and-blues singer Ron Isley (The Isley Brothers) is 69, Actor Richard Hatch is 65, Singer Leo Sayer is 62 and Actress Carol Potter is 62.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's--------------------------old, but still funny

Billie Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation .... cept this year I'm gonna do it different."

"How's that?" Lester says.

"The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go.  Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant.  Then two years ago you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again.  Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again."

Lester asks, "So, what're you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue with me."

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In 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt appeared before Congress to explain his decision to veto a bill that would have allowed World War I veterans to cash in bonus certificates before their 1945 due date..

In 1960, an earthquake of magnitude 9.5., the strongest on record, struck southern Chile.  According to the U.S. Geological Survey website, the quake claimed about 1655 lives, injured 3000 people, left 2 million homeless and caused $550 million worth of damage.

In 1969, the lunar module of Apollo 10, with Thomas P. Stafford and Eugene Cernan aboard, flew to within nine miles of the moon's surface in a dress rehearsal for the first lunar landing.

In 1990, Boxer Rocky Graziano died in New York at age 71.

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Today---------Movie reviewer Judith Crist is 88, Singer Charles Aznavour is 86, Actor Michael Constantine is 83, Actor-director Richard Benjamin is 72, Actor Frank Converse is 72, Actor Michael Sarrazin is 70, Former CNN anchor Bernard Shaw is 70,  and Actress Barbara Parkins is 68.

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Larryj

[Jo McDonald]

 

[Ms Bear]

That one has to go to work with me.

[larryJ]

Today's--------------------hee hee

A thin, scholarly young man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the young man said.

"On a trip to a river city in Nevada, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they would not listen.

"So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and slapped him in the face .... kicked over his bike, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground.

"I then yelled to the rest of them, 'Now back off or I'll kick the stuffings out of all of you!"

St. Pete was impressed, "Wow!  When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago," the young man replied.

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In 1785, Benjamin Franklin announced the invention of bifocals.

In 1788, South Carolina became the 8th state to ratify the Constitution.

In 1934, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were shot and killed by the Texas Rangers.

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Today-----------Actress Betty Garrett is 91, Actor Nigel Davenport is 82, Actress Barbara Barrie is 79, Actress Joan Collins is 77, Actor Charles Kimbrough is 74, Actress Lauren Chapin is 65 and Country Singer Misty Morgan is 65.

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Larryj

[pamagain]

LOL I just read this in a bike magazine LOL