another slice of wry

[Dee Gee]

One question Larry, how did George Washington vote in 1732 seeing how he was born February 22, 1732 ?

[larryJ]

Sorry, my typo----I was too lazy to go find my glasses and it was early and I was still on the first cup and it was raining so the dog was fighting me about going outside and I wasn't reading, just typing and earthquakes still bother me somewhat and --------------

Larryj

P.S.  I will correct my error.

[Wilma]

Larry, how much shaking did you get?

[larryJ]

We were at our daughter's house for Easter and I was sitting at the dining table while others were in the kitchen or living room.  My son-in-law and his parents were in the backyard discussing landscaping projects.  I first felt it because I was the only one sitting down at that time.  It was a rolling type quake as opposed to a jolt.  The thing about quakes is that you might feel the rolling motion and you are waiting for the motion to get stronger or maybe a big jolt as happened in the Northridge quake some years ago.  This one was just a rolling motion that lasted, as Bonnie says, about 10 to 15 seconds.  We are not as close as she is, but this quake was only six miles deep making it felt over a larger area. Some say 10 to 15 seconds isn't that long, but when the ground or the house is moving when it shouldn't be, that amount of time seems to last forever.  I mentioned those outside and when we hollered at them that we were having a quake, they didn't feel it.  The media has and will continue to make this a bigger story than it really is, although it is serious enough for those living closer to the epicenter. 

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's------------------------it depends on how you look at it, pun intended----------

A scruffy young man was questioned by one of San Bernardino's finest for peddling dirty pictures.

"But you're mistaken," said the kid.  "These pictures aren't dirty."

Selecting one, the sheriff's deputy said, "Do you mean to tell me this isn't a dirty picture?"

The young man responded, "Oh, don't be such a prude, officer!  Haven't you ever seen five people in love?"

________________________________________________

In 1830, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was organized by Joseph Smith in Fayette, NY.

In 1862, the Civil War Battle of Shiloh began in Tennessee as Confederate forces launched a surprise attack against Union troops, who beat back the Confederates the next day.

In 1896, the first modern Olympic games formally opened in Athens, Greece.

In 1917, Congress approved a declaration of war against Germany.

________________________________________________

Today----------Conductor-composer Andre Previn is 81, Country singer Merle Haggard is 73, Actor Roy Thinnes is 72 and Actor Billy Dee Williams is 73.

______________________________________________

Larryj

[Jo McDonald]

 

A Wife asks her Husband, How many Women have you slept with?
Husband proudly replies, Only You, Darling.  With all the Others, I was awake!


Hospital Visiting Hours  are;

10am - 4pm.








 


 


 




-

[larryJ]

I really liked that one, Jo.

Today's-----------------------Understandable

A man spent several hours enduring long lines, disinterested clerks and inane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  On his way home, he stopped to pick up a gift for his son.

He selected a baseball bat.  "Cash or charge," the clerk asked.

"Cash," the man snapped, then apologizing for his rudeness, he explained, "I've just spent the entire morning at the Motor Vehicle Bureau."

"Oh, I see,"  the clerk replied, and then asked, "Well, shall I gift wrap the bat, or.............are you going back to the DMV?"

_______________________________________________

In 1860, Will Keith Kellogg, founder of cereal maker Kellogg Co., was born in Battle Creek, Michigan.

In 1927, the image and voice of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover were transmitted live from Washington to New York in the first successful long-distance demonstration of television.

In 1969, the Supreme Court, in Stanley v. Georgia, unanimously struck down laws prohibiting private possession of obscene material.

_______________________________________________

Today-------------Country Singer Cal Smith is 78, Actor Wayne Rogers is 77, Country Singer Bobby Bare is 75, Movie Director Francis Ford Coppola is 71, TV personality David Frost is 71, Singer John Oates is 61 and Sitar player Ravi Shankar is 90.

_______________________________________________

Larryj

[Jo McDonald]

We can relate to that one, can't we   

[larryJ]

Yes, we can.

Today's----------------------------GROANER, HUGE GROANER---------

"I want to be a tight-rope walker.  What equipment do I need?" asked a prospective circus employee.

"Very flexible shoes, two towers, a wire, a pole and a bank book," responded the ringmaster matter-of-factly.

"I understand the shoes, towers, wire and pole, but what's the bank book for?" inquired the would-be walker.

"To check your balance, of course!"

_______________________________________________

In 1913, the 17th Amendment to the Constitution providing for direct popular election of United States senators (as opposed to appointments by state legislatures), was ratified.

In 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Emergency Relief Appropriations Act, which provided money for programs such as the Works Progress Administration.

In 1952, President Harry S. Truman seized the steel industry to avert a nationwide strike.  (The U.S. Supreme Court later ruled that Truman had overstepped his authority.)

______________________________________________

Today-------------------Former First Lady Betty Ford is 92, Comedian Shecky Greene is 84, "Mouseketeer" Darlene Gillepsie is 69, Singer Peggy Lennon (the Lennon Sisters) is 69, Actor Stuart Pankin is 64 And Former House Republican Leader Tom Delay is 63.

_______________________________________________

Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's---------------------------one of those politicians from a previous joke

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.  "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.  I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he  had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.  He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had numerous extra-marital affairs and habitually used illicit drugs.  I was appalled.  But as the days passed, I learned that most people weren't like that, and I had --- indeed -- come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of well-worn apologies for being late and immediately began his speech.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived -- in fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.

_______________________________________________

In 1865, Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered his army to Union General Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House in Virginia.

In 1942, American and Philippine defenders on Bataan capitulated to Japanese forces; the surrender was followed by the notorious Bataan Death March, which claimed thousands of lives.

In 1983, the space shuttle Challenger ended its first mission with a safe landing at Edwards Air Force Base in California.

______________________________________________

Today-------------Naturalist Jim Fowler is 78, Actor Jean-Paul Belmondo is 77 and Actress Michael Learned is 71.

_______________________________________________

Larryj