another slice of wry

[larryJ]

Today's-------------Well, it is

The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone.  His wife could hear him say, "Hello?"  Then he said, "Sure is."  He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

A minute later the phone rang again.  The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" again and then he said, "Yes it is."  He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.''

The wife asked who it was.  The man said he didn't know.

A minute later the phone rang again.  The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?"  Then he said, "It sure is."  He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked again about the caller.  The man said he didn't know who it was.  The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?"  He said, "Well, it's odd, actually.  A woman just keeps saying, "Long distance from Chicago."

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In 1837. Michigan became the 26th state.

In 1950, India officially proclaimed itself a republic as Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president.

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Today------------Actress Anne Jeffreys is 87, Actress Joan Leslie is 85, Sportscaster-Actor Bob Uecker is 75, Actor Scott Glenn is 71 and Activist Angela Davis is 66.

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(note:  for all you "All My Children" fans, Actor James Mitchell who played Palmer Cortland passed away in Los Angeles last Friday,.)

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-----------------see my quote---------

Harold was concluding a speech at his lodge meeting.  He had gotten a bit carried away and talked for two hours.  Finally, he realized what he had done and said, "I'm sorry I spoke so long ......... I left my watch at home."

A weary voice from the back of the room retorted, "There's a calendar behind you."

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In 1756, composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born in Salzburg, Austria.

In 1880, Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric incandescent lamp.

In 1951, an era of atomic testing in the Nevada desert began as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on Frenchman Flat.

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Today-----------Singer Bobby "Blue" Bland is 80, Actor James Cromwell is 70, and Ballet Star Mikhail Baryshnikov is 62

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-------------------be careful what and how you ask for something---

Leland's best friend died, so he called a nearby flower shop to order a wreath of flowers to be featured at the wake.

"Please put an extra-wide ribbon on it,"Leland told the clerk, "and print 'Rest in Peace' on both sides and, if there's room, 'We Shall Meet In Heaven.'"

The clerk assured him that his order will be fulfilled and the wreath promptly delivered to the funeral home.

Sure enough, the wreath arrived and was set up next to the casket.  But the mourners were stunned when they observed the display.

On the extra-wide ribbon was the inscription, "Rest in peace on both sides, and, if there's room, we shall meet in Heaven."

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In 1547, England's King Henry VIII died; he was succeeded by his 9-year-old son, Edward VI.

In 1973, a cease-fire officially went into effect in the Vietnam War.

In 1986, the space shuttle Challenger exploded 73 seconds after liftoff from Cape Canaveral, killing all seven of its crew members, including schoolteacher Christa McAuliffe.

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Today-----------Actor Alan Alda is 74, Actress Susan Howard is 68 and Actress-singer Barbi Benton is 60.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's---------------------Tee Hee------hold on to your coffee cups!

Jack and Jill already had several children, including two rambunctious twins, and the husband was thrilled when the Doctor announced they were going to have twins again.

He asked his wife to start thinking of names.  "Well," she said, "let's see now ------ we already have Adolph and Rudolph -----  how about---------------------------------------Getoff and Stayoff."

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In 1845, Edgar Allan Poe's poem "The Raven" was first published in the New York Evening Mirror.

In 1919, the ratification of the 18th Amendment to the Constitution, which launched Prohibition, was certified by Acting Secretary of State Frank L. Polk.

In 1936, the first members of baseball's Hall of Fame, including Ty Cobb and Babe Ruth, were named in Cooperstown. N.Y.

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Today-------------------Actor John Forsythe is 92, Actor Noel Harrison is 76, Actress Katharine Ross is 70, Actor Tom Selleck is 65 and Actress Ann Jillian is 60. 

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's----------------------Sounds familiar?

An 80-year-old man was having his annual physical.  As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh, oh!"

The man asked the doctor, "Is there a problem?"

"Well," said the doc, "I'm detecting a fairly profound heart murmur ... Do you smoke?"

"No," replied the man, "I quit decades ago."

"Do you drink in excess?"

"No," replied the man, "only a glass of wine now and then."

"Do you have a sex life?"

"Uh, well, yes, I do."

"Unfortunately," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you're going to have to cut your sex life in half."

Looking perplexed, the elderly fellow asked, "Which half ---- the looking or the thinking?"

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In 1933, the first episode of the "Lone Ranger" radio program was broadcast on station WXYZ in Detroit.

In 1960, the American Football League awarded a franchise to Oakland, CA..

In 1964, the United States launched Ranger 6, an unmanned spacecraft carrying television cameras that crash landed on the moon, but failed to send back images.

In 1968, the Tet Offensive began during the Vietnam War as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals.

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Today---------------Actress Dorothy Malone is 85, Actor Gene Hackman is 80, Actress Tammy Grimes is 76, Actress Vanessa Redgrave is 73, Country Singer Jeanne Pruett is 73, Country Singer Norma Jean is 72 and Former VP Dick Cheney is 69.

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Larryj

[larryJ]

Today's-------again-------------be careful what you ask for.

Mary Lou had invited some people to the family home for Sunday dinner.

After everyone had arrived and were seated at the table, Mary Lou turned to her six-year-old daughter and asked, "Lareve, would you please say the blessing for us?"

"Oh, mommy, I don't know what to say," she lamented.

"Just say what you hear mommy say," Mary Lou suggested.

Lareve then bowed her head and solemnly said, "Good Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?! Amen."

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In 1945, Pvt. Eddie Slovik, 24, became the first U.S. soldier since the Civil War to be executed for desertion as he was shot by an American firing squad in France.

In 1971, astronauts Alan Shepard Jr., Edgar Mitchell and Stuart Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission to the moon.

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Today----------Former Interior Secretary Stewart Udall is 90, Actress Carol Channing is 89, Baseball Hall-of-Famer Ernie Banks is 79, Actor Stuart Margolin is 70, Actress Jessica Walter is 69 and Baseball hall-of-Famer Nolan Ryan is 63.

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Larryj

[Diane Amberg]

I have GOT to stop trying to read without my glasses. I thought the little girl's name was Larvae!

[Warph]

Adam Cartwright, dead at 81 Jan. 24th.... They are all dead now... Ben, Hoss, Little Joe, now Adam.  Wonder who's going to run the ranch now that the men have gone to there greater reward.  


Pernell Roberts of 'Bonanza' and 'Trapper John, MD' dies 81

Pernell Elvin Roberts (May 18, 1928 – January 24, 2010) was an American television actor and singer. He was best known for his roles as Ben Cartwright's eldest son, Adam Cartwright, on the western series Bonanza (a role he played from 1959 to 1965), and as chief surgeon, Dr. John MacIntyre, the title character on Trapper John, M.D. (1979-1986).

Born: Pernell Elvin Roberts Waycross, Georgia, U.S.
Died: Malibu, California, U.S.

He came to prominence playing Ben Cartwright's urbane eldest son, Adam, in the Western television series Bonanza. Despite the show's success, he left after the sixth season in 1965 due to disagreements with the writers and a desire to return to legitimate theatre.

He was known for his activism, which included participation in the Selma to Montgomery marches in 1965, and pressuring NBC to refrain from hiring whites to portray minority characters.

Roberts died of cancer at his home in Malibu, California on January 24, 2010, aged 81

[W. Gray]

pressuring NBC to refrain from hiring whites to portray minority characters.

At one time, American audiences would not go to see a movie with minority actors in major roles.

In Birth of a Nation, the black speaking parts were played with white actors in blackface. Non speaking parts were real blacks.

The Charlie Chan character, which appeared in almost fifty movies was played by a white player after the first one cast with a Chinese actor could not draw an audience.

Even Pearl Bucks The Good Earth featured whites in the major Chinese roles.

The biggest miscast of all has to be John Wayne as Genghis Khan and Susan Hayward as his oriental love interest.

There was a fellow, though, that saw through all this and drew movie goers despite featuring minority actors. He even had a Chinese cowgirl as his costar in one. That man was William Boyd better known as Hopalong Cassidy.

[larryJ]

Today's--------------------------We should all play golf, right, Warph?

An 80-year-old Italian gentleman went to the doctor for a check-up.  The doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asked, "how do you stay in such great physical condition?"

"I'm Italian and I am a golfer." said the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape.  I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up, down and around the fairways.  I then have a glass of vino, and all is well."

'Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it than that.  How old was your father when he died?"

"Who said my father's dead?"

The doctor is amazed.  "You mean you're 80 years old and your father's still alive?  How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old." says the elderly Italian golfer.  "In fact, he golfs with me regularly, and then we go to the topless beach to pick up some girls and then have a little vino and that's why he's still alive.  So you see he's Italian and he's a golfer, too."

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that.  How about your father's father?  How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my Nono's dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asks, "are you telling me you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living?  Incredible, how old is he?

"He's 119 years old," said the old Italian golfer.

The doctor was somewhat frustrated at this point and sarcastically said, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning, too?"

"No, Nono couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it.  "Getting married!  Why would a 119-year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

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In 1943, one of America's most highly decorated military units of World War II, the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, made up almost exclusively of Japanese-Americans, was authorized,

In 1960, four black college students began a sit-in protest at a whites-only Woolworth's lunch counter in Greensboro, N.C., which refused to serve them; similar protests sprang up across the South.

In 1968, during the Vietnam War, South Vietnam's police chief (Nguyen Ngoc Loan) executed a Viet Cong officer with a pistol shot to the head.  Richard M. Nixon announced his bid for the Republican presidential nomination.

In 2003, the space shuttle Columbia broke up during reentry, killing all seven of it's crew members.

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Today--------Actor Stuart Whitman is 82, Actor Garrett Morris is 73, Actor Sherman Hemsley is 72 and TV personality-singer Joy Philbin is 69.

Also------Frank Buckles, America's last surviving World War I veteran, is 109.

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Larryj