another slice of wry

Started by larryJ, June 24, 2009, 04:10:34 PM

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larryJ

Today's-----------------------------------It's Sunday with a chance of a light drizzle.

The Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right, children, let's take another example." she said.  "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Luke raised his hand, and with a confident smile he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"

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In 1931, the comic strip "Dick Tracy" created by Chester Gould made its debut.

In 1970, rock singer Janis Joplin, 27, was found dead in her Los Angeles hotel room.

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

larryJ

Today's----------------------------Just remember I don't write them.

A very attractive woman carrying a stack of boxes after a lengthy shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong gust of wind lifted her skirt.

A fellow standing nearby took a long and thorough look and smiled broadly.

The woman, of course, noticed and snapped at him, "Well, I can certainly see that you are no gentleman!"

The guy, still smiling, said, "Yep, and I can see you aren't one either!"

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In 1892, The Dalton Gang, notorious for its train robberies, was practically wiped out while attempting to rob a pair of banks in Coffeyville, Kansas.

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Larryj

HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Cheyenne


sixdogsmom

HOW I LEARNED TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a knot hole in one of the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting  '14....14.....14'...

Ha! Ha!
Edie

Diane Amberg


larryJ

HA!  good one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Today's-----------------------------is this McGiver?

Jill had been thinking about coloring her hair.  One day while going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair in a shade she liked.

Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband, "How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?"

He took the magazine, looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out, and studied it again.  "Just great, babe."

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In 1989, Actress Bette Davis died in Neuilly-sur-Seine, France, at age 81.

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

pamsback


larryJ

Today's-------------------------------------------ouch!

Harry, a retired gentleman volunteers to entertain residents at convalescent homes and patients in hospitals by taking his karaoke machine with him.

At one performance, he told some well-worn stories and sang a number of songs.  When he finished, he bid the folks farewell and said, "I do hope you get better soon."

One elderly man yelled from the back, "We hope you get better, too!"

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Today--------Singer Al Martino is 82, Former National Security Council aide Oliver North is 66, and Actress Jill Larsen (All My Children) is 62.

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Diane Amberg

Don't let aging get you down. It's too darned hard to get back up!

larryJ

Ain't that the truth!

Today's---------------------------------------------Have anyone done this?

After starting her new diet, Jan altered her drive to work to avoid passing her favorite bakery.

She accidentally drove by the bakery the other morning and as she approached, there in the window was a host of goodies.

Jan felt this was no accident, so she prayed, "Lord, it's up to you.  If you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking space for me directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!

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Today---------------Entertainment reporter Rona Barrett is 73, the Rev. Jesse Jackson  is 68, and Actress Sigourney Weaver is 60.

In 1956, Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in a World Series to date as the New York Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in Game 5.

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

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