another slice of wry

Started by larryJ, June 24, 2009, 04:10:34 PM

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larryJ

#190
Well, Flo, if you had millions of dollars and lots of plastic surgery, you could look like Raquel.  In fact, so could I. ;D

Today's----------------------------------------------Probably not as funny as Flo's remarks, but this is for all the groaners.


Quasimodo comes home from work one night and his wife has made a delicious stir-fry.

"Great" he says, lumbering over the table.  Next night he comes home from work and it's stir-fry again, "just as delicious as last night," he says.."

Next night, stir-fry again.  "Tastes great, but I'm getting kind of sick of stir-fry," he says.

Nest night, stir-fry again.  "Listen," he says, "tomorrow make whatever you want, as long as it is not stir-fry."

Next day he leaves work early (asking an assistant to ring vespers for him) so that he can catch her before she begins cooking.  He walks in the front door and there she is, taking the wok down off the rack.

"Aha!" he says, "You were going to make stir-fry again!"

"Don't be silly," she says, "I was just going to iron your shirts."

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Today in history------------------------------------in 1956, Elvis Presley made the first of three appearances on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

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(How many people will ask who Quasimodo was, and better yet, how many will wonder who Ed Sullivan was.  And how many people will get the joke?)  Don"t be shy, step right up and ask!!!!!!!!! ;D

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

flo

don't have to ask, know both of them.  And I did get the joke and a very good extra use of the wok  ;D ;D ;D
MY GOAL IS TO LIVE FOREVER. SO FAR, SO GOOD !

Jo McDonald

   
California Poll...

The  latest telephone poll taken by the Governator's office asked  whether

people who live in California think illegal  immigration is a serious problem:

*29% of  respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
*71% of  respondents answered: "No, no es una problema  seriosa."


IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER....
THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!

Mom70x7


larryJ

ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!  Es bueno, Senora, es bueno!!

Lorencioj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

larryJ

Today's-------------------------------------------

Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations.  She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the summer.

"We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota," he said.

"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said, "Can you tell the class how you spell that?"

Little Johnny thought about it and said, "Come to think of it, she lives in OHIO."

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Today--------------Singer Jose Feliciano turns 64 and the much mentioned Bill O'Reilly is 60

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

larryJ

#196
I wasn't real sure where to put this, so if Teresa wants to move it, that's fine. 

In my local paper, there is a spot for "a guest" to submit a story which is placed on the editorial pages.  I thought of Tobina when I read this and hopefully she will see it.  I liked the way it was written and wanted to repeat it here.  It is entitled,

READY FOR THOSE 'MEAT AND POTATO YEARS'.
By Diana Baima

I am a person who loves the end of summer and cannot wait for fall to begin.  I eagerly await apple season and the change of weather, even though this "change" requires me to buy fake fall foliage in bulk.

However, this year is different.

As September arrived, I found myself sad and with each day that passed, a little more anxious.  If there was a way to stop the days from coming I would do it.


You see, I have a 5-year-old, my first, and this little person who has been my world for five glorious years is going to start kindergarten this week.  He will now spend most of his waking hours with 15 to 20 kids and his teacher.  For the first time he will have influences outside the ones we have chosen for him.

When you give birth and the nurse hands you the baby, she should grab you by the shoulders, look you in the eye and tell you to cherish every moment even when you are tired and covered in vomit, because it will be gone before you know it.  All you new moms or moms-to-be out there, it is longer than your time in high school or a single presidential term and I swear it feels like seconds.

Just to torture myself I got out the videotapes of him as a baby.  As I sat there sobbing on the couch, watching him eat green beans for the first time, it dawned on me that he will remember little to nothing of the years and moments I hold so dear.

The years coming are the ones that he will remember.  When he looks back, these years and the memories they will hold are the ones that will matter to him and define his view of childhood when he is an adult.  This thought, as daunting as it is, has become my silver lining, and the more I considered it the more my attitude about him going to school began to change.

I am now determined to give him as many amazing memories as he has given me.  So now, I boldly say, "bring on kindergarten!"  I will be there volunteering in the classroom and chaperoning on field trips.  I will leave silly notes and fun surprises in his lunchbox.  I shall scrimp and save to give him opportunities like music lessons or tumbling classes.  I will not just be the mom that cheers the loudest at baseball or soccer games, I will volunteer to be the team mom or host the end of season party. 

All of which I will do with enthusiasm.  After all, these will be the meat and potato years of his life, the ones that will stick to his ribs, nourish him and hopefully leave him satisfied.

Reprinted by

Larryj





HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

patyrn

This is so true, and those "little ones" grow up so quickly that you can never get "the moment" back.  Cherish each one...........

Ole Granny

Oh, but the cherished memories!  Thanks, Larry!
"Perhaps they are not the stars in the sky.
But rather openings where our loved ones,
Shine down to let us know they are happy."
Eskimo Legend

larryJ

#199
Today's-----------------------------------------


                                                    SIGNS OF BEING A TYPICAL MOM

1)  You've eaten your weight in Girl Scout cookies.

2)  You always have at least 12 Legos and a Barbie shoe in your purse.

3)  You catch yourself humming theme songs from kiddie shows about three times a day.

4)  You can take construction paper, glue, pudding cups, and aluminum foil and make a delightful holiday centerpiece.

5)  You know that a suspiciously sweet, "Momma, I love you!" really means-------------"I just decorated the wall with your makeup."

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Today------------------------------------------------9/11

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Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

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