Dear Credit Card Member

[Warph]

Dear Credit Card Member:
 

We are raising your rate. 

We are raising it sharply, alarmingly, rapaciously.

The law says we have to tell you about it first.   

So we are telling you about it first.

We are telling you about how it is going from a worrisome 12% to a smokin' 28%, compounded half-hourly, with your house, your car and the pewter tea service that has been in your family since the Norman Conquest, which your mother would polish with her own mother as a little girl, dreamily gazing at her reflection, as collateral.

We fully expect you, your spouse and those mischievous twins to crumple under the weight of this usury and ultimately to default but we are looking forward to the handsome receivables in the meantime and besides we can't help ourselves.

Plus, we are telling you about it first.  We are telling you about it in the requisite 12-point type, in the first paragraph as mandated, in a proper letter, like a man.  Nor does it apply retroactively to your current balances, unless they are 60 days overdue, in which case we are coming after you in such a way as to make the Steelers' offensive line look like the Wiggles 

We, the credit card company, are a little embarrassed about our past behavior.  It was sneaky and we know it.  Now, we could say that our dad was a pathological liar and our mom started drinking at noon and we developed a compulsive need to deceive but, to be truthful, we were a bunch of greedy bastards and we didn't care about you a flip.  We now believe in a power greater than ourselves and are reaching out to those we have wronged in the past. 

So today, in addition to complying with the law, we would like to make amends to valued cardmembers like... Frank Cassini of Bedford Hills, N.J., for blowing his rate out to 63% while he was in a coma.... and Piper Nussbaum of Seattle, for slashing her credit line and sending collection goons to her home during her only daughter's wedding.  To both we offer 50 Palladium Points and a leatherette Kindle cover (burgundy, navy or dappled oak) and, to Ms. Nussbaum, partial reimbursement of $25 dollars for her husband's reconstructive surgery.

Here are some other things we are going to do to you that we are telling you about first.  We are going to raise your annual fee until it equals your annual salary, both because your fee will be so high and because your salary is getting so low.  We feel we are being fair and balanced in doing this.

We are going to downgrade your Palladium Rewards so that 50 points, currently redeemable for three nights and four days in Aruba, will instead be redeemable for a mouse pad (burgundy, navy or dappled oak).

We are going to take away your old dog, but don't worry, not for 45 days yet.

Moreover, we have noted the efficiency of the fast-talking side-effects man in the pharmaceutical commercials, and we offer this clear warning about making only the minimum payment of seven dollars per month on your account:

Attheminimumpaymentofsevendollarspermonthyouwillnotpayoffyourfulldebtuntilnovember2312. 

We will no longer mail brightly colored preauthorized cards with basketball players and rock stars on them to consumers under 21 years of age and process their applications without the express consent of their parents.  So go get Mommy.  Tell her you want this.  She needs to put her name on it.

[sixdogsmom]

I agree that rates have become more than usury; but there are those that will always be a credit risk no matter the rate. Too bad, I think that money management should be focused on sharply in education as that is a large part of life. Seems to me that most family problems with youngsters revolve around money. Long past the time for real responsibility to be taught, both at home and in school.

[kshillbillys]

and the rate hikes are exactly the reason I don't believe in having credit cards in my purse!! i work hard for my money so why should i give the credit card people 1 red cent?

[sixdogsmom]

Oh, I have credit cards and use them all the time. Very convenient for shopping, I don't struggle with a check or worry about cash. I do however, pay them off every month so that no interest is accrued.

[kshillbillys]

and Kudos to you SixDogs for paying them off. There are so many people that don't pay on them or pay the minimum each month or every other month. I don't want to put myself into a position tho, that if I lost my job tomorrow, I would have all that money to pay back. I have a prepaid Nascar Visa debit card that I put money on each payday to do any online shopping with. Yes, they charge me to add money to my card but I figure if I put $200 on it, the $4.64 is more than justifiable as a "fee". I like my money I earn and like keeping as much of it as possible.

[W. Gray]

One can get the opinion that Howard is a cash town, at least when it comes to gasoline.

The gasoline source on the highway has only one pump that accepts a credit card.

Severy also has only one pump that will read a card.

I doubt if the station on Wabash has any pumps installed that will accept a credit card.

Sixdogsmon has it right about paying off credit card balances each month. But don't everyone do that or the credit card companies would then start charging every card user the equivalent of interest for not carrying a balance from month to month.

I have never tried it, but I believe one can go to a station when it is otherwise closed and insert a credit card and begin pumping gas.

[W. Gray]

It has been a while since I have exercised my math skills but if one were to pay a $4.64 cent "fee" on a debit card for a $200 transaction, that justifiable "fee" computes out to be an equivalent annual interest rate of 27.84%.

Whereas if one were to charge $200 on a credit card and pay it off at the end of the month, the interest charge is zero.

[sixdogsmom]

I agree Waldo, it doesn't make good sense to me to 'borrow' that money for a high interest rate when it is free to use it the other way. Oh well, it takes all kinds I guess. You are right about everybody not doing that, however, the card companys do charge the entity that makes the sale on the card.

[W. Gray]

I have heard that some credit card companies are now putting those who pay their balances off each month under the microscope, especially under these new proposed rules.

I have a credit card with my credit union. Credit unions generally operate under much more moderate financial rules so hopefully I won't see that.

[Varmit]

Credit cards are a nothing more than a scheme no matter how you look at it.  However, to blame the companies is a little one sided I think.  It is possible for folks to read the Whole contract before applying for a credit card, that includes the fine print.  My question is do you really want a gov't that racked up roughly 12 trillion in debt to set the rules of credit?